Name: RegardingThe Current State Of The Music Industry | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 39
Uploaded: 2023-10-23T10:45:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'RegardingThe Current State Of The Music Industry | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 39' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'RegardingThe Current State Of The Music Industry | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 39' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-23. Transcript available.

RegardingThe Current State Of The Music Industry | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 39

Name as many female, aka women, musicians as you can right now.
Alright, let's move on. Let's move on to a different topic.
Let's move on to a different... Let's move on.
You know I don't know any. You know I don't know any female musicians, man.
Why would you do that to me?
Welcome to Joy Tactics.
The podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
3, 2, 1, hit it.
I don't know if you could take it.
I know you want to see me necky, necky, necky.
And I'll be off that brown liquor.
Thinking wild, wild thoughts.
When I'm with you, all I get is wild.
Thoughts.
Can you put out a whole album of you just covering every single Rihanna song,
just with beatboxing and...
Work, work, work, work, work.
Simmi dimmi.
What's that one with Eminem?
Something about the kids.
I don't know what that one is.
Is she on that one?
Inspire.
No, she's probably not, is she?
Rihanna.
I don't.
I don't know that one.
Why did that just happen, right?
Right.
Well, yeah, you guys are curious why we're starting with music.
Well, we're covering the music industry this round.
People have been asking us, because this is what we're doing.
Begging us, really.
Oh, shit.
Jack.
Yeah.
Jack just whipped out an electric fucking guitar.
Remember that?
Oh, my God.
What is that from?
Somebody give a devious-ass type of, give like a nice, scary intro about what
we're discussing
today, because this is...
The music industry is changing over time.
20 years ago, you couldn't get a deal like you could today.
It's all about engagement now on social media.
The studio is irrelevant.
Warner Brothers is burning in hell, giving deals to rappers and all.
I don't, you know, I went out, that's basically all I know about the music
industry.
Dude, that was crazy how fast you launched into that, Eric.
That was like, you've been waiting like your whole life to say that sentence.
Right, and my brain was definitely catching up with my mouth.
I didn't really have it all that tightened up, but I threw out all the words I
know about
the music industry.
The music industry, man.
So, yeah, we need to...
Your time's come.
We need to talk about this.
We need to, like...
We really do.
There's not enough joy in the music industry, in the industry side of it.
Right.
And the state of affairs need to be discussed.
This is our most requested thing.
Almost all of y'all listening right now, we know you guys are fucking
frustrated with
the contracts that you've been stuck in right now.
You think, oh, I'm going to go rock with this record label.
I'm going to rock with this record label.
And you just get stuck.
And all of a sudden, we're missing out on the Jimi Hendrixes, on the Avenged
Sevenfolds,
on the Selena Gomezes of our generation.
Right.
So, hold on tight.
We'll get you out of those contracts.
Well, let's dig into contracts.
I think that is just something that I've been really wanting to talk about on
this podcast
is musicians' contracts.
It's about time.
This is where a lot of young artists are getting burned these days.
That's for sure.
Because they see the, whatever, seven figures on the contract.
They think, I'll never go hungry again.
I'm buying my mom a fucking compressor, Mercedes compressor.
Well, what they don't realize is that's signing your life away.
That's making a deal with the devil.
Well, it's short-sighted, right?
Because it comes from not believing in yourself.
You think, I'm going to take a cookie now because I don't believe that I can
make myself
an apple pie tonight.
But you can't.
Yeah.
But you can't.
Right.
So, let's talk about some of these clauses.
What is the trade-off?
What are you saying?
What is the trade-off with this?
You know what I'm saying?
So, you could, okay, take the contract, all right?
Right.
And I've been offered some of these contracts, you know?
I know.
Me too.
What genre were you offered it for, dude?
I've written a lot of them.
Go ahead.
What genre were you offered the contract for, Nate?
Well, it was a new sort of genre that I had.
I've been, you know how there's points in music history when, you know, you
have rock, you
have hip-hop, you have R&B.
Right.
And there's only so many genres.
And at some point, the genres need to meld together to form a new genre.
Well, so, I was one of the trailblazers in yodeling, and I mixed that with sort
of hip-hop
and R&B, and just created a whole new sort of sector that was just my own.
And the label saw me, and they, you know, my grandma had Alzheimer's.
Of course.
Does she know that?
Of course.
Bro.
Oh, oh.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Weirdly enough, that's not the time to joke about that.
I know.
I know.
I get it.
I know.
I'm sorry.
You want to piss me off?
Yeah, keep talking about my grandma and such.
No, literally, I just started crying.
I just started crying.
All right.
Go ahead.
No, she was so sweet.
Her name was Betty, and she grew up in Wisconsin, Midwest, much.
The bear.
Bear.
And she used to be a yodeler for fun.
She'd go with her sister and yodel at places with her guitar.
And she couldn't really remember much, but at the end of her
her life, she could yodel like crazy.
So she's there, kind of out of it.
And then, well, you want to try some yodeling, Betty?
Yodel-a-loo-a-loo.
Going crazy.
So that's the power of the mind and the power of music.
I love that.
And that's why we're not taking this conversation lightly, because music is
not numbers and siding on a dotted line with Warner Brothers, whatever.
No.
Music is much more.
No, it's a universal language.
It's a language.
It's a linguistic language.
Well, you guys remember about the one universal, this is the one universal
music
genre that I made last year, last Christmas time.
Right.
Universal music with a hundred year long song written by, I can't remember what
his name
was, Apple, something about Apple.
But that was a song that was a hundred years long that you would, the idea was
you start
playing it when you're one.
Oh my God.
Welcome to the world.
Welcome to the world.
A hundred years.
A hundred year long song.
And it would keep going for every fucking year.
You get all the way up to 97, 98, 99.
Yeah.
But to do that, to have that, you'd need some Dalai Lama style musician figures
to where you
know how the Dalai Lama is chosen as a child in his whole life or her whole, I
think it
just has to be guys.
I'm sorry about that.
I didn't make a list.
It's guys only for the Dalai Lama.
It's guys only and I'm trying to change it with strictly written letters.
We're trying to make a Dalai Lama.
That's for sure.
The Dalai Lama is coming in quicker than you realize.
And the revolution starts today.
But imagine, because they used to have this in Aztec, all type of cultures
where children
are picked up and they're made the chosen ones, either they're sacrificed or
they're made
into some special type of priest.
Getting some child who looks like it's going to have right out of the womb, an
amazing
voice, putting it in the center of the earth at a temple that will be designed
all metal
right by the core.
So they stay warm and just singing for 100 years.
Their hair grows all along.
Their nails grow all along.
They can't really see because they're raised in the dark.
But they're singing.
But it grows straight up.
And when it finally, when they turn 100 years old, their hair reaches the top
of the earth
and we can yank them out and pluck them like onions.
And they're perfectly healthy even at that point.
Why do we weirdly bring so much magical realism to this podcast?
I was just about to say that same exact sentence, Eric.
I'm wondering the same thing.
I don't know.
We, like, without even trying, are doing...
Literally, like, Alice in Wonderland mixed with Lars von Trier mixed with, like,
whatever
we got.
Right.
And just with our words, no budget.
No budge.
That people know of.
We're going to be the first podcast nominated for an Oscar for sound design.
Well, this is what I want to say.
You mentioned budget.
Okay.
Yeah.
What do you guys think about this?
I think that we should start a Joy Tactics record label.
And sign some artists.
Not going to allow productions.
And we're, yeah, we could have auditions.
Is that what you said?
I said, not going to lie, productions.
Oh, I thought you said to have auditions.
That's our production company.
NGL Productions.
Not going to lie, records.
We're in the background.
We're the producers.
Because producers don't have to know anything about music, as we know with Rick
Rubin and
fucking Benny Blanco.
All you have to do is just wear, like, look kind of, you know, just have, like,
a different
type of swag to you.
I need to either gain 150 pounds or lose 150 pounds to get my look for this
producer.
Are you going to weigh 20 pounds?
I think.
Probably a little bit more than that, but.
I think you need to gain a lot, like, so much weight where you can't move and,
like, the
artist has to, like, come to you.
Come to me.
Come to my palace.
Yeah, like.
You're talking about Dubbo the Hutt.
Yeah, like, you're.
Basically, I think.
I don't know.
There's something about that that I think you could pull out the best work out
of somebody.
You know what I'm saying?
Or, like, what's that in Dune, the Duke, you know?
Yes.
She really gets all tall with it.
Oh, right, right, right.
Oh.
Can I ask a Star Wars question?
I hear some fucking white boy rapper and I get all tall because I love it.
What's your Star Wars question, Jack?
What is it?
Jabba the Hutt.
That's from Star Wars?
Of course it is.
That's correct.
Correct.
Is their last name the Hutt and are there other the Huts?
There's many the Hutt.
Is there a Cassandra the Hutt?
Who else is in the family?
Cassandra the Hutt.
Jabba the Hutt.
Liam the Hutt.
Pizza the Hutt.
Pizza the Hutt.
Don't out pizza.
Nobody out pizza.
Nobody out.
That's actually.
There's several Huts.
That's actually a joke that was made in Spaceballs, the parody of Star Wars.
Pizza the Hutt.
Why do I arrive at so many comedic conclusions?
It really is called Pizza Hut.
When you really start saying that out loud, it's called Pizza Hut.
When's the last time someone lived in a hut that we know?
All over the world.
That I know personally.
Clearly all over the world is one of those original houses.
Yeah, of course.
Mixed in with Adobe.
You know what word I wanted to shout out actually recently?
Because no fucking respect at all.
So.
S-O.
S-O.
Everybody puts respect on the R.
Is it where's so up on the up on the winner's podium in words.
This is me like running, running to catch up to you 10 years from now after I've
lost my mind trying to tell you my word rankings.
Do you want to know, be able to know where so is or what so is?
I have a simple song for you.
Okay.
Doe.
Oh, dear.
Now this one.
A female, dear.
Ray.
And that's said in the British style, fa.
Fa.
Keep going.
A long, long way to run.
Sewing.
Sewing.
Sewing.
Remix.
Needle seed.
Sewing thread.
La.
Sewing.
La.
Not a note.
They gave up on la.
You know this?
They gave up on fucking la because it's so, a needle pulling thread, la, a note
to follow, so.
They're that fucking lazy.
Because they knew about so, dude.
Because they knew about so.
That's right.
And Jack, what is your, everyone wants to know what your word rankings are.
Oh, I do better.
What's your top?
Top 15 words.
Aluminium.
Aluminium.
Number one, bouillon cube.
Number two, soliloquy.
Number three, soliloquy.
You've got to do all 15 or we're not moving on.
All 15 words?
How am I going to remember all of them?
This is tough.
This is tough because I know you've been working on this list for a long time.
There's 15 words in the English language.
I've been trying to memorize them for years.
Nah, I'm pretty fluent.
Pretty fluent.
So, let's shout out a couple artists, music artists.
Who's really doing it up in 2023?
Who's really doing it up like that?
Who's doing it independently as well?
Because there's a lot of artists on TikTok who are doing it kind of unreprese