Name: 2024 Stock Market Predictions/Analysis | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 48
Uploaded: 2024-01-01T12:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '2024 Stock Market Predictions/Analysis | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 48' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '2024 Stock Market Predictions/Analysis | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 48' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-01. Transcript available.

2024 Stock Market Predictions/Analysis | Joy Tactics Podcast | EP. 48

Can you imagine Yoda just laying it down?
I knew you were going to.
I can.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Good morning, guys. How are we doing today?
Really good. I'm excited to get off and get some topics underway.
Nate, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling amazing today. Actually, I'm feeling more than amazing. I'm feeling
wonderful, and I'm ready to start off this year with a bang.
I expect nothing more from you, man. So the stock market today, the S&P 500
record, remains elusive in the final trade day, 2023.
What are we taking away from this? How are we moving into Q1, Eric? How is your
portfolio looking today?
Well, my portfolio is looking amazing. I just cashed out my 401k to pay for
rent.
So basically, I just need to back up real quick. This is the new us. This is
the new Joy Tactics, by the way, which you're just listening to.
We're going to be covering the stock market in detailed analysis of puts and
different type of stock options that you can put.
It's going to be...
Yo, Nate.
This is basically the new us. This is 2024, all right?
Yo.
You're not changing. You're not fucking growing, all right?
Yo, look at my eyes.
Wow.
Can you see right now?
Yeah, I can see fully.
I literally can't see because I have these sunglasses that I'm wearing right
now are not prescription, and I don't have any contacts under this.
And literally, my vision is so bad that I can barely see you guys in the Zoom
recording that is maybe, what, three feet in front of my face?
So do you put those on when you get too stimulated? You maybe go into, like, a
McDonald's, and it starts freaking you out, all the noises and the imagery.
Alone in a McDonald's?
You got a McDonald's to set up the laptop and get working, and you get too
distracted.
You know what I don't understand is, like, you know how, like, you see rappers
and celebrities, they're, like, always wearing sunglasses, like, at, in places
at night, like, in a club, and it's, like, that would annoy the fuck out of me,
too, wearing sunglasses, like, in a dark, you know, club.
Well, when you get faded off of amazing drugs, your pupils become enriched with
light. Do you understand?
Thank you for letting me, okay.
It's all good.
I just made it up.
I didn't know that.
Made it up.
Well, something horrible happened to me.
Eric said he's sitting on two or three things.
You guys both look like you got kicked out of, like, a metal band, you know?
For being too ethical.
We, like, called them on, we ratted on them to their wives for being bad on the
road.
These lyrics are not helping people.
These lyrics are fucking disturbing the children.
Yeah.
The things that I'm sitting on, now that I think about it, I thought they would
come up
organically, but they're the most boring things on the planet.
All right, kick it off, man.
Last night, I made some steak, and while I was eating the steak, I was eating
them in my
new Uggs, okay?
I got some new Uggs, the mini Uggs, for Christmas.
Where are you going with this, man?
Amazing present.
And a little piece fell onto the Ugg, okay?
And the grease went onto the Ugg, so I had to try to clean the Ugg.
I didn't realize how sensitive Uggs are to water, and I'm wiping it, wiping it.
Oh, the grease stain goes away, but now there's a big, fat water stain on my Ugg,
and it won't
go away.
Even if you dry it?
I dried it, and I even started putting cornstarch on it.
Well, why don't you dip the whole thing in water?
That's what I am seeing online, people saying, just get it all wet so it's the
same color.
That's my last resort, but I don't want to be pushed to that.
Well, what's the opposite of water?
I don't want to be pushed to my last resort.
Why don't you...
A little fire on it?
Is it darker or lighter?
Do you understand?
It's darker.
So then, what's lighter than water?
Madnays.
Okay.
I should have texted you guys immediately.
Don't ever do that again.
Don't ever go to Reddit, anybody.
I'm staying away.
So, wait, okay, so that's one of my things I said I was sitting on, couldn't
wait to fucking
go off on it on the podcast, and I'm glad I got it out there.
We almost got a full riff off of that.
We got pretty close.
And we're already at four minutes into the fucking podcast.
So, what's the other thing, Eric?
We discussed this before, and you were like, oh, I have to...
Sometimes we're chatting.
We probably talk for 15, 20 minutes before, and we just waste time like nobody's
business.
And Eric was just like, we just chit-chat.
And Eric was about to bring this up, and he's like, oh my god, I have to save
this for the
podcast.
This is so fucking interesting.
I'll tell you what happened.
I started saying my piece, and Jack said, save it for the podcast.
I don't appreciate my words being twisted like this in front of a public
audience.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I've angered you.
I wanted to tell you guys about all my groceries that I got.
I said, here's how it went.
I said, do you guys know when you walk out of a grocery store and you just feel
so good
about the groceries you got?
I said, that happened to me yesterday.
I got some steak, Jack said, wait, save it for the podcast, let this be heard
by everybody.
Okay?
Just so we're on the same page, that's what happened.
That's the story.
I'm fucking sorry.
Well, that's true about that story, but you did say what Nate said about
another story.
Right.
That's about Hot Tub Time Machine.
I watched that last night.
It was amazing.
I hadn't seen that one in about 14 years and it was making me laugh.
Is there pedophilia in that one?
So hard.
You know, I guess so in a sense.
Yes, there is.
I remember that.
But they're back in their high school bodies.
Right.
So you can't really know.
And then it's like...
What if the mind is the actual final determination?
That's right.
And I just realized something about perverts, man.
What?
So you know how some people call themselves old souls?
Yeah, of course.
That makes you a pedophile, doesn't it?
Technically.
I have an old soul.
You're preying on modern day souls.
That's so true.
It's like a mental perversion, which is the title of this episode.
If I could do a chant, some type of ancient chant, some type of spell, and
eliminate all perversion
from the world, you know how quick I'd be saying that shit?
No more perversion.
You know what?
I'm sick of this because a lot of things that you guys find so perverted is
actually liberating
and it's empowering to a lot of people.
And I'm sick of this conservative take, this puritanical take on sexuality.
This is a sex-positive podcast, all right?
We're talking about nuts.
We're talking about fucking dicks, pussies, assholes, everything, because it's
sex-positive
on joy tactics.
And I will not stand for this type of demonification.
Demonization.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
Nate, you're not.
Nate, the hoodie, the glasses.
Yeah, what's going on?
Something about being in Ohio has brought out Dark Nate.
This is the scariest decor I've ever seen.
You have the funeral table in the back right behind you with the flowers, rest
in peace.
Yeah, this all looks like somebody died in here in 2006, maybe in 2004, and
they were
afraid to throw anything away.
Come to Ohio, man.
You would be dressing like this and acting like this if you were here.
Jack, you know what?
I was thinking about this.
I was just rolling around Toledo, Ohio, driving around, and I was like, dude,
Jack, you would
fucking love Toledo, Ohio.
I feel like you need to come to Toledo, Ohio, man.
You would fucking, I feel like you're maybe meant to be here.
I'm afraid to go.
Is it the chicken wings?
Is it the skate spots?
It's literally every part of it.
Every restaurant, I feel like, is just geared towards Jack.
Like, every bar, every establishment, it just feels like you would, you would,
I feel like
you would really find, like, true happiness.
Like, you might know what happiness is in your life, but once you come to Toledo,
Ohio, and
get the fucking, the two-bedroom, you know, house here, you got a little yard.
That sounds so good.
That sounds fucking amazing.
Does it snow there a little bit sometimes?
It snows.
It's always dreary, you know, but.
There's probably an indoor skate park with no, like, heating.
No, you didn't.
That could help operate.
Oh, for sure.
Jack, you gotta go do the knockoff Keith Lee treatment to Toledo.
What, a who?
Keika Lee?
Keith Lee.
Oh.
What's that?
You guys know Keith Lee?
Did he kill himself?
No, he didn't kill him.
He's a new, he's a rising internet star that's saving small businesses, small
restaurants.
Okay.
You know this, he goes to sort of struggling small restaurants across the
country.
He just came to New York, it was very controversial, because people think he
went to the wrong
places.
But he, and he, he mysteriously gets the food, eats it, reviews it, and once he
reviews that
shit, those businesses become very popular.
I'll just, I'll just say that.
Can I ask a question about Keith Lee?
Yeah.
What is his age and race?
Keith, you don't know, you have no idea what he looks like?
No.
I don't even know who he is.
Keith Lee's probably 30, maybe 28.
He's black.
Keith Lee's an amazing guy.
I don't know.
I was thinking he would be like some.
Why did he, I'm so curious to know why, every time you ask about somebody,
especially when
you got those glasses on, you say, what race are they?
That's the first thing you want to know about everybody.
And it disturbs me.
I'm not disturbed because he's in the reverse KKK right now.
He's in the full blood.
Oh, you're in the KKK Avengers.
You know, the ones that take them out, I mean, you know what I'm saying?
Exactly.
Assassinators.
What's the opposite of K?
Well, K is the 10th letter of the alphabet.
Did I just do that that fast?
No way.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J.
Damn.
I didn't.
You would have gone nuts, too, if you would have been like, 10K.
Clip, the clip.
Oh, shit.
My man.
No fucking way.
Yeah.
10, 10.
Try yourself.
It's 10.
It's not.
So what's the opposite of 11?
Ah, let's move on.
Opposite of, well, yeah, no problem.
Well, can I ask why, can I, can I, can I say why I asked the race?
I thought he would be, I thought he was a white man.
Oh.
That was going to all these struggling small businesses.
That's another problem of yours, man.
That assumption is so curious.
Well, I'm very, I'm very suspicious of the white race and they're going around
to these
small businesses that are owned by immigrants who are coming to America and
they're trying
to push their values onto, you know, that's what I thought this was.
And that's why I thought, when you said it was controversial, he was coming.
I thought, oh, is this because this is a, a white, a young white guy who's like,
I'm going
to change up this.
Nah, nah.
Right.
Nathan for you style.
Keith, okay, now Keith Lee's rocking it.
There are some other people though.
Do you guys know this guy on TikTok called like Johnny Darts or something?
I love darts.
And he goes up to people and he's like clearly holding his phone and he goes
like, he's in
a grocery store.
He's like, hey, can you help me buy this box of mac and cheese?
Like, I'm so hungry, man.
He's probably decked out in Lululemon.
You know what I'm saying?
He's got the fucking, you know, whatever.
He's got the white people's swag.
Athleisure.
Clearly he doesn't need the $2 and some people say no and they don't get the $10,000.
Some people say yes and then he blesses them.
He says, actually, I'm not poor and actually here's, here's $5,000.
And so what he's doing there, by the way, is he's rewarding, he's rewarding
people who
are struggling for making financially, financially irresponsible decisions.
Right.
These people should not be helping out strangers.
They need to focus on a money market account, you know, putting that $2 in the
money market
account or seeing that grow over the next hundred years.
Right.
Hundred.
