Name: 30 Year Olds Thinking About Getting In Shape [FULL MOVIE] | 4K | FREE
Uploaded: 2024-02-05T12:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '30 Year Olds Thinking About Getting In Shape [FULL MOVIE] | 4K | FREE' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '30 Year Olds Thinking About Getting In Shape [FULL MOVIE] | 4K | FREE' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-05. Transcript available.

30 Year Olds Thinking About Getting In Shape [FULL MOVIE] | 4K | FREE

You know how many minutes that we're speaking intelligently, saying coherent
things?
It's most minutes.
It's most minutes.
So, oh, I'm sorry, fucking 10% of that is us talking like a dumbass.
I'm at a 90% hit ratio for intellect and understanding and coherent ideas.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
I'm tired of an aging body.
I'm tired of not giving myself a chance.
I'm tired of watching my body turn into something that I'm not proud of and my
mind go to mush
as I become more crazy successful and people are offering me alcohol and crazy
drugs.
It sounds like I'm tired of falling into that lifestyle that has taken so many
others.
River Phoenix, Johnny Depp.
I need to do something about this now.
Do you want to talk about it on the podcast today?
No, I want to talk about what we're going to do about this shit.
Should we start rolling?
Yeah, let's start rolling.
You know what?
All right.
So it's definitely time for a change, right?
Yeah, it is.
Obama style.
And that was off the pod.
Eric was saying that.
That's how he talks and speaks to us.
We're going to talk about Legos today, man.
Different Lego.
Oh, one time I submitted a Lego creation to Lego Magazine.
And I got a, I could remember in Lego, y'all remember Lego Magazine?
They would put all like kids creations on the back pages.
Back two pages were like kids holding up Legos.
I made a crazy ass spaceship and I got confirmation that my Lego was going to
be featured in the magazine.
And then the bastards did not even ever put one, put my picture in there.
Oh, that explains why.
That's an origin story right there.
The cry that was not heard.
I had a similar.
Y'all wonder why I'm violent.
Oh, violent.
I had a similar scenario where I had, I had worked on a, I, I, do you guys
remember this?
I don't know.
This might be too specific, but it was called Beckett Magazine.
It was for Dragon Ball Z, like anime.
No.
It was like a monthly magazine for like anime.
And they would have, obviously they would have the fucking fan art section.
And I was, I'm a, people don't know this, but I'm an incredible fucking artist
and drawer.
That was my first passion in life.
And I drew the fucking shit out of a Super Saiyan 3 Goat Tanks.
I think it was one of the fusion, it was like the two little guys, the two
little homies
fused together in the Super Saiyan 3, like the fucking, the most powerful
fucking Saiyan
you could possibly do.
And I was fucking scared.
Dude, it looked, um, I can see it in my head right now.
It's, it's so, it was perfect.
And they said, you, you got it.
You're amazing.
And then they never hooked it up.
No, they didn't.
I think I just never sent it in.
I think.
I forget the, I forget what went wrong, but it definitely wasn't featured in
the magazine.
Well, speaking of fusion, um, fusion superheroes, I was thinking the other day
watching the
Sopranos that Tony Soprano is basically Joy Tactics, Joy Tactics, SSJ3 Fusion.
Cause I feel like, what's his name?
Tony Soprano has Nate, kind of Nate's head.
James Gandolfini's got Nate's head and face.
Eric's not body necessarily, but physicalities, physicalities.
Just, yeah.
You know, a lot of people find that body irresistibly sexual.
He's super hot.
You know, he's a sex symbol, right?
He's a sex symbol.
So think, think twice before you couch the fact that my body looks identical.
People are horned up for Tony, dude.
People, people want him fucking, want to ride his ass.
The right, the right type of folks love the hell out of his look.
And then I guess he's probably got my clothes or something, but I kind of feel
like he's,
uh, he reminds me so much of Joy Tactics.
What's that, Nate?
Is that, oh, is that the drawing?
You drew that?
Yeah.
No way.
Oh.
Nate, that looks like a honeycombs guy.
I forgot to post it on Instagram.
That looks like Ryan Cabrera.
That's awesome.
Did you like Super Saiyans?
Cause you imagine, you imagine doing that in the high school lunchroom after
people, like,
you weren't allowed to sit at the right, at the cool kids table?
Gone Super Saiyan in front of everybody.
Ah!
Ah!
Yeah.
The, the, the bald Super Saiyan just out the sides.
Like, that's a good point.
How come Krillin, what's the bald guy?
Krillin, Piccolo?
The bald Super Saiyan.
The balding, the male pattern baldness, Norwood 3, Super Saiyan.
Got like the crusty, like, like, the baller.
They were all kind of Norwooded out.
The baller's, like, hella thin, so it's just, like, really thin on the top one.
Ha ha ha!
But turns, like, bleach blonde.
Oh, my God.
Turns on fire.
They did give him the, they gave him the, the recession for sure.
But.
I know, they had the widow's peak.
Why, why is, like, a certain type of receding hairline so sexy?
Why is it so sexy to have it go back like this?
Because, dude, it shows signs of being a human.
You know who has it like that, Mr. Jude Law?
What's, it's a sign of being human, yeah.
It's a sign that you're not afraid to die, man.
It's a sign that, get it while it lasts, because this ain't gonna be fresh
forever.
Soon I'm gonna rejoin the stars.
So, come get a, come lick my forehead, top to bottom, baby.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Why do I do love hairlines?
So, how are we gonna get our lives on track, right?
Because we're all so pathetic.
I feel like we only need 75 days to do it.
I know.
Why do I feel that way?
And it could be as hard as it could be.
It would only take something like 75 days.
Even if it was hard, I'd still do it.
If it, for 75 days, hard, if it was hard.
Yeah.
So, what we're joking about here is a new internet physical mental challenge
called the 75 hard challenge, right?
75 days, no internet, no cell phones, going to the gym twice a day, eating one
type of meal.
For 75 days.
One type of meat.
One type of meat.
One type of vegetable.
And then at the end of the 75 days, I don't know what happens, to be honest.
Seeing what you look like on the other side.
Semen or tension.
I think out of the three of us, okay, so let's really break down what 75 hard
is.
Is this a new thing, by the way?
No, it's, it's maybe like a four-year-old TikTok kind of like.
Okay, okay.
75 hard is not for the weak of heart.
We'll just put it that way.
It's 75 days, no slip-ups.
If you slip up, you restart.
Do you all realize this?
Oh, hell no.
Do you know that that's how you do it?
Oh, wow.
So the hardest thing to do would be the 69 hard one easy, 69 hard one easy, or
69, 74 is what I meant.
Why did I think that was one less?
You would be a fool.
I didn't mean to say 69 like a, it wasn't like a joke number.
I just thought that was one less than 75.
That's mathically concerning, Jack.
Mathically?
Yeah, well.
My brain's all twisted up today.
What is it?
It's no drinking, eating clean, choose a diet plan of your choice, but you
cannot stray.
No cheating or else you restart.
Read 10 pages of self-development non-fiction.
If you miss one page, restart.
Yeah.
Working out twice a day, 45 minutes outside, 45 minutes at the gym.
If you accidentally do the second workout inside, by the way, restart.
Restart.
And harm yourself.
It's pro-self-harm.
That's right.
That's right.
By the way, no speaking out loud.
No speaking out loud in 75 days.
Stick to the diet.
Take progress pictures every day.
And by the way, that doesn't mean because it's a physical and a mental
challenge too.
So how do you take a mental progress picture?
You play a sporkle.
You play a quiz like that.
You see how fast you can type all 50 states every day.
I do think out of the three of us, if I did this challenge, it would be life-changing.
Well, Eric.
For sure.
You all wouldn't like me like that, though.
You logged onto the Zoom and kind of immediately started begging us to please
do this challenge with you.
And that might be time.
What if we did a 75 hard that was catered to each of our needs?
Right?
So what do I need?
I probably need none of the physical stuff because I'm a specimen, essentially.
And then I need all the reading stuff because, well, you guys have seen how I
behave and speak.
So maybe for me, it's 75 pages every day of reading.
Wow.
It has to be outdoor reading, 45 pages inside, 45 pages outside.
And then something like that.
I don't know.
I can only eat food that I read in the books.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, I just read Huck Finn and they had a pretzel dog.
Let me go to Andy Ann's.
I feel like there's too much wiggle room with this plan.
It's like, choose the workout that's best for you.
Choose the book that's best for you.
Choose the diet plan that's best for you.
You know people are going to be fucking up this shit.
Nobody's going to.
You know, I feel like these are a bunch of liars who get through this.
If I showed you a picture of a guy who came up with 75 hard, yeah, I don't
think he'd be saying that shit.
This is a real one.
And let me guess.
He sleeps with a hostage tape on his mouth.
You know that?
Oh.
You need hostage tape, Nate.
When he sleeps?
You know what hostage tape is?
Mouth tape.
Keep your mouth from breathing and opening during the night.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got a little something I want to show you right now.
You got the breathe rights and the hostage tape?
Let me show you something right here, my man.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, dude.
What is that?
That doesn't look like hostage tape.
That looks like regular ass tape.
Wait, what?
Oh, shit.
I'm like using scotch tape.
Fully breathing.
All the way around.
Mouth breathing.
No, I'm one of those fucking dumbasses who puts a mouth tape on.
I look like a psychopath when I sleep.
Yeah.
Like I have the mouth tape on.
Because I'm like really bad at breathing through my mouth.
We got to get your ass a CPAP.
Or they have those fancy ass breathe right things that are reusable.
Have you seen those?
And it like really opens the fuck out of your nostrils to where it hurts.
They're like open so bad hard that it's like torture almost.
Well, here's where you fools are messing up.
This kind of reminds me of like the 30s before people knew that exercise was
good for you.
Because right now what I'm doing is when I sleep is I put a fucking swimming
nose clip on my nose so I can't breathe through my nose.
And I put the dentist thing in my mouth so my mouth is all the way stretched
open all night.
And then I put, you know, I open my ears as hard as I can.
I keep my eyes taped open, tape my eyes open.
Because that's, your body gets the sleep it needs under those circumstances.
You know what I'm saying?
Like you only get the sleep that your body is forcing itself to be deeply
sleeping in that scenario.
Because the easier you make it for your, you're basically, you're tricking your
body into thinking it's already sleeping.
Oh, I'll put on an eye mask.
I'm asleep.
I'll put on wind noise.
I'm asleep.
You're not, man.
And your body's not recovering as it should be when it's really passed out,
basically choked out through its sensory organizational patterns.
Of course.
Right.
So let's get into what everybody's 75 hard is going to be.
Eric, yours is going to be 75 hard, normal, except maybe we'll include
something, um, something with a CPAP.
You know, what is the most challenging part of the 75 hard to you?
Because it seems like, it doesn't seem that difficult to me.
Like, is this, what is the part that you think would change your life?
Because you're already working out, I feel like, very regularly, if not daily.
Yeah.
But I'm mostly just hitting the weights and getting kind of the easy cardio in.
So I think that if I was, you know, it would change your life.
What?
Just do the part where you take a progress picture every day.
I didn't change anything about my life, but I did take a picture.
That might be a game changer to have to look, to look at myself every day.
And just for photography, you know, like on day one, I was using my phone.
By the end, I was using like a Hasselblad film, 70 millimeter rebel, ma