Name: Should You Respect Old People? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 57
Uploaded: 2024-03-04T12:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Should You Respect Old People? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 57' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Should You Respect Old People? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 57' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-04. Transcript available.

Should You Respect Old People? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 57

In order to monetize your YouTube, you're slapboxing 100-year-olds.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what people want from me at this point. That's what
I'm known for.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful,
joyous, and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy.
So, let's start with naming a couple of things and seeing how it makes you feel.
100 years old.
106 years old.
Wow.
Those are weighted numbers, okay?
You hear somebody's 13, somebody's 30.
You go, oh, okay, nice. You see that cat.
Eric just picked a cat up.
But you hear the name 100 years old, the word or the phrase.
That comes with a heaviness, a lividness.
Right.
Which demands you listen, and you tuck in your shirt, you brush your teeth, and
you focus up.
Okay.
Because even if you're a pencil pusher, even if you just sat around watching soaps
and eating bonbons your whole life,
but you made it to 106 years old, you know a thing or two about being alive.
You've been, like, you know, you can be lazy in life, but you can't avoid pain.
And here's what's funny, too.
You can't avoid loss.
And people that make it to that far, yeah, they've been fucking through it, no
matter who it is.
Yeah.
And, Nate, you try to take out these 100-year-olds every time you come across
one.
I feel like you don't respect them maybe more than anyone.
Well, I have to monetize my YouTube channel and some, you know.
My YouTube channel.
YouTube.
What is it?
Like, where are you going with that?
And so you have to, in order to monetize your YouTube, you're slapboxing 100-year-olds?
Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's what people want from me at this point.
That's what I'm known for.
So you're locked into it.
I get it.
It's not personal.
You're running a life insurance scam.
Slapboxing a fucking 98-year-old slapbox.
Geriatric, backyard.
98-year-old man, life insurance scam.
Somehow you make fucking $200,000, you become the sole supplier.
Backyard beef, backyard beef, adult.
You know what's funny?
Because they call, sometimes they call adult content, adult content.
Then there's senior content.
Do they have that yet?
That's kind of next level.
They're about to.
Remember Blue from Old School?
I remember the color.
Oh, yeah, I do remember Blue.
You don't remember my boy Blue?
My boy Blue.
When he's jelly wrestling.
Jelly wrestling.
Is that what they call it?
I don't know.
That's kind of more sexy to me.
I want to go jelly wrestling with your ass.
But no, he went out of the way that we all want to go,
being all wrestled by beautiful women in a pool of jelly.
I think, yeah, I guess so.
That is the way to go, man.
But wouldn't you want to stay alive?
Blue had that kind of old-timey miner, coal miner, or gold digger build.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
The 1800s kind of just soup and ale build.
Soup and aioli.
He had that.
Yeah.
So what's funny is that they don't make them like that.
But that's, speaking of soup and aioli,
when you meet somebody who's 99 years old,
when you meet somebody who's 110 years old,
what's funny is there's a lot of gurus out there these days
who are saying, like,
smoke matcha, bitch,
if you want to live to be 600 years old like me with no wrinkles.
Yeah.
Go ahead and go out to fucking eat with a 100-year-old.
I promise you.
Go out to eat with my nana,
which is what Jack and I just did two days ago.
93?
She's 93.
She's driving still, driving cars.
And so what did she order at the diner?
Did she get...
She ordered the giant Dutch baby pancake.
No, that's not possible.
Because to live so long,
don't you need to eat nothing but broccoli with no pesticides?
That's what you would think.
That's what they're telling us.
And that's what we'll be force-fed by the media.
A waffle bigger than...
But what did my nana eat?
She ate the strawberry Dutch baby pancake, Nate.
You missed out.
With syrup on it.
Okay.
Because what's funny is...
That's incredible.
Did you guys have an amazing conversation?
Yeah.
Did you ask her questions?
Yes.
Did you gain any wisdom?
No, we were just talking...
Or did you guys just fucking talk about it to yourself like you always do?
No, we were talking to her about the podcast numbers.
We were telling her about the co-star credits we got.
We didn't have too much time to ask her about what's going on,
but she really appreciated spending time with us.
Well, she pulled up with a full Google Doc to show us
some pitches that she had for segments for the show.
They were really funny.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so it worked out.
Yeah.
We talked about waffles for a while.
That was fun.
Man.
We both like waffles with ice cream on them.
Eggo waffles.
I noticed how quiet you are during this because you have something against the
elderly.
I noticed when we go do our elderly volunteering,
you usually shy away and go play on your phone and play snake on your phone
whenever we get around an old person.
And you close your nose.
Well, this is a tough...
When you guys brought this to me in one of our hour-long pitch meetings
where we're coming up with topics to talk about.
Yeah, I guess that was November 2022, right?
When we came up with this one?
On one of our brainstorm meetings.
This one was tough for me.
And I originally, I don't know if you remember this,
but I was really resistant to even doing this.
And I was like, I don't know if this is something that I can talk about even
because I have so much disdain for anyone above the age of, honestly, 60 plus.
Where I kind of draw the line.
And I kind of just don't talk to those people at all.
They're kind of subhuman to me in many different ways.
Yeah.
Well, you grew up in one of them Charlie and the Chocolate Factory type houses
with a bunch of old people all in the same bed
and they were beating the shit out of you every single day,
smacking you, changing bedpans, making them, getting candy for them.
I can imagine it, that you don't like them now.
Is it also, are you like jealous?
Like, damn, I wish I was that fucking old already.
Because they have the...
Because you don't get that respect.
Different type of bodies.
It's built-in respect too.
Isn't that interesting?
You live to 100 and it's kind of like, all right, built-in respect.
I mean, are we being taken a fool in that regard?
A hundred-year-old comes up to you and gives you some advice on what to buy or
something?
Should we really just trust them just because they've been around?
What if they were stupid as fuck?
Well, can I ask you guys a question?
Let's look back at the last hundred years, shall we?
At this generation that you're saying is that we should give respect to.
Yeah.
Let's look back at the past hundred years.
What's happened in the last year?
What happened in 1924 is...
What just happened, Jack?
My curtain just fell off the wall.
It was hanging...
Oh, you know what?
That's an elderly ghost.
It was hanging by a deer head.
And this deer head just fell and it smacked the microphone.
That was definitely some type of ghost.
I know there are old people living all up in your building.
Okay, so, but a hundred years ago, it's 1924.
What's everybody doing reading The Great Gatsby?
Trying to eat bananas differently.
They're watching quiet movies.
Remember, because it was silent and then they couldn't get the volume that loud,
so it was
hella quiet movies.
So, you had to really listen close and then they finally got that volume up in
the 30s.
You have such a rose-tinted glasses on of what the 20s were like.
It wasn't the...
Everybody was just trying desperately to get over the traumas of the First
World War.
Nah, they didn't give a...
You know what?
They were fucking getting down, sucking on each other.
You saw the clothes they wore, right?
You know what's...
There's nothing sexier than to me.
Flapper.
The flapper girls.
Oh, yeah.
So, when I go to a Halloween party and there's a beautiful woman all dressed as
a flapper, yeah, that
is exactly what I want to see.
And especially if she listens to the shins, too, and she's dressed as a flapper.
That makes sense now because you've been sending me Photoshop images of Saweetie
in flapper type clothing.
And then I'm just texting you.
Could you imagine this?
Imagine coming home to this?
But, yeah, the 20s were awesome.
They were fun.
We're in them right now.
What was dark about the 20s?
Oh, the Great Depression?
That only affected the farmers.
Well, let's just look about 15 to 20 years later.
How could that be an amazing time when the world consciousness created such a
terrible circumstances
to enact the Second World War?
Can we stop calling it the World War, man?
Chile wasn't in it.
Uruguay wasn't in it.
Taiwan wasn't in it.
Bangladesh wasn't in it.
Burkina Faso wasn't in it.
I don't know who was in it, to be quite frank.
But what I'm saying, and don't make me say that 191 more times, okay?
Why do they got to call it the World War?
What you don't realize, Jack, is those countries were affected by blockades,
and many of those countries sent battalions.
Okay, dude.
Cool, man.
But, like, okay, so if there's, like, a pileup, you know what I'm saying,
on the BQE, and a bunch of people all get fucking 300 people die on the highway
from the biggest explosion of all time because they crashed into a fucking
awesome,
crazy truck with poison in it, and then it makes me late for the gym or
something
for a personal training session where I'm a personal trainer,
does that mean that I'm now getting to say that this was the great thing for me,
tragedy for me?
You see my metaphor.
You see how I just laid that out.
And now you have to redact your statement.
Following so close as you're building that up.
Yeah, well, that's the way I speak is with perfect story narrative and arc.
Jack's metaphor school.
Jack's school.
Oh, my hiccups went away.
If anybody listened to the Patreon, yeah, that shit went away.
Because of my mental fortitude, I finally fucking squashed them.
A lot of y'all would have driven most people mad to go through what I went
through that day,
a day of full of hiccups.
Not me.
That's a good children's book idea.
I wasn't looking up leukemia hiccup connection.
Right after the podcast.
What was I going to say?
Oh, you made a good point with the Uruguay Battalion.
Do you think there was any country that was forced to send just kind of like 40
dudes to World War II
and they kind of just hung back?
They didn't even fight the war.
They were just kind of like chilling in Europe.
Yeah.
No one's like kind of, there wasn't like the UN wasn't around.
Like nobody was there to be like, hey, Uruguay, we didn't see you guys on the
battlefield like yesterday.
No, no, we were there.
We were just fucking, we were like, we fight from the trees, so y'all didn't
even see us,
but we were fucking getting them really good.
I feel like a couple countries like just had a kind of a, we're in the past
years just seeing the countryside.
You know on the cruise ships how they have the, um, the like party, uh, team
members, the people who are in charge of like throwing the parties.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The party cruise leaders.
The party committee.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, that's a real job on the cruise ship.
I think that if we were in the, in war, we would be in charge of fucking
throwing the fucking DJ parties right after the battles.
Make sure that our soldiers fucking get taken care of.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, doing the first ever beatbox, beatbox trumpet.
Basically doing fucking Macklemore style.
Awesome dance music.
Get Miley Cyrus out there.
Fucking letting out all the rounds that we didn't use yet.
Oh, we still got a hundred thousand bullets.
Let that shit go.
What else we got left over?
Use them as like a beat too.
Oh, use a gun as a beat.
Oh, the gun drum, the drum gun.
Wow.
Okay, but let's get back to what we call the elderly.
Please.
Okay?
Because I need to tell you guys something.
I think I've said it on a previous episode, but we are headed for a crisis
right now.
Okay?
There's an entire generation of what they call the baby bo