Name: Spring Break Tales | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 59
Uploaded: 2024-03-18T10:45:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Spring Break Tales | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 59' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Spring Break Tales | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 59' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-18. Transcript available.

Spring Break Tales | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 59

uh-oh what time of year is it welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to
all things
joyful joyous and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric
rayhill
nate veroni and jack bensinger enjoy what time of year the whole time the whole
podcast just
just blast it let's have that one loop just behind could be worse to play eric
will you play that
again and nate will you twerk as hard as you can just for a couple seconds man
people don't know i
can twerk yeah it's crazy yeah you do have like nate i know that if you clench
your butt cheeks
you got that you got them little tiny cheeks that would get all dimpled you
know what i mean
it would invert at the bottom you know i have a video i have a video of you
doing that nate as
wow are you gonna be clapping them cheeks at the because you're going to mexico
for spring break i
don't know if everybody understands by the time this comes out i will be uh
probably violently hung over
coming back from mexico um i'm going on a bachelor bachelor party trip to i don't
really know where
we're going to but it's like right on the border and the the uh the groom is uh
he likes surfing a lot
and he's in law school right now so that's why we're going during oh shit his
spring break so it
happens to overlap style friends what's that sims style he's a lawyer he's a
surfer he's single oh yeah
yeah he has maxed out all his stats low charisma types of games i just play
like fucking shooters
and shit i don't really know right right you're preparing yeah but we're going
to a very like
i i didn't realize this but i think it's a very like daytona beach style like
miami spring break
destination like sexy red is going to be playing at this like club near where
we're staying and we might
go and we're all in our 30s you like secretly got the platinum like six
thousand dollar meet and greet pass
where you get to have like tequila poured in your mouth but it's one of sexy
reds
wow i'm kind of jealous i'm kind of you know what i'm kind of jealous frankly i
need something like
that damn if i you know what if i knew you wanted to go so badly he's a type of
person that i was like
yo could my friend eric come he'd be like of course well guess what i'm not
doing anything this weekend
fly out man
that would be so sick can you imagine being that spontaneous
i would like to get to that to to the point where i could do something like
that you know
can you imagine having children and being that spontaneous watch this you you
fucking disappoint
your kid once again because you forgot him at soccer practice and they stood in
the rain for four
hours shit how can i make him feel better wake him up at 2 a.m violently all
like your son whatever
guess where we're going disney world disneyland paris
why at 2 a.m though like they're just to mess with him keep him on his toes
and yeah
would you like you know we didn't say we
go to go to mexico
what did you say it
to be i'm just consider that i haven't had a ton of sleep
no yeah the last couple days so i'm gonna just fall asleep if you want if you
want to fall asleep in the background just that's that's totally fine and i
might listen to this episode if that's that's that's
no they not kind of need to
yeah yeah yeah we
after the past couple weeks man we really need this uh just to kind of get on
the same page and squash the beef
so nate you're getting your body right for the trip i know yes
yeah on the patreon episode you said you shaved your you're gonna shave your
face which you did
yeah but you're gonna shave you're gonna shave your head clean pitbull i'm
gonna go for the first time i've ever done this in my life i'm gonna shave my
head completely bald
clean shaven bald i've never done in my life and i just i just shaved my beard
as you can see i gave my i put myself in the nate room barbershop gave the
oh look at that fade right there oh are you serious it kind of looks a little
fucked up
do you see that it's a little like nobody's doing this no one's doing it like
you man so what'd you get
you did nobody's doing this did you do a two there and a three on the sides i
used the two all over the top
okay and then right here we went like on the norelco fucking beard shaver we
went like a couple like
a 14 you know a 14 to a 13.5 to a 12 you know what i'm saying oh shit dude i
just got the magic clippers
what's that these are cool looking red crimson clippers that are just they seem
to be high quality
they can't injure you they cannot injure you unless you use them poorly
and i just want to be pretending you know the you know those guys the barbers
on tiktok that just go
hey man can i cut your hair how much it's free you just gotta talk to me about
your life and how poor
you are okay i want to be doing that out in the streets and then they like
smack you up with the
foam and shit like yeah dude the barber today put that hot foam put that hot
foam all up on my neck
and use the straight razor
that and then he like when i was a put the alcohol on
wow when i was a kid i feel like i was that was like the closest i came to like
nutting was going
to great clips and the the hairdresser there would just like shave the back of
your neck that felt so
good to me i remember just being like oh shit like like can you whisper my ear
too really quick
just to pretend we're at a doctor's office so i can get dressed above world
that'd be a good thing to
say to a barber you sit down in the chair they're like what do you want how
what kind of fade do you
want it short on the sides let me get short on the sides long enough right and
then you kind of say
like hey will you just pretend just don't even don't don't even cut anything i'll
just just give me
that little stuff on the back of my neck for about 30 minutes oh yeah and can
you whisper binaurally
to me give me binaural whispers please
so you're you're shaved you've shaved your face you i see you lined your ass up
and that's all going away it's going to be completely lex luther
you're gonna do the brown you should bleach your eyebrows dude
you should bleach your eyebrows and put in blue contacts all weekend
dude and i know you got that hey sexy red that injectable fucking pink dye that's
gonna make
bubblegum pink
why did anyone do that like hella pink good god it's like so toxic to it it's
like it's like you
will get cancer if you yeah they're like hurting like an automatic oh god
bubblegum pink nipples
they're like so like they're just like exploding out like they're like really
protruding out you you like fall into the water like you haven't taken your
shirt off yet you fall
in the water in your white tea come out just fucking looks like you got bazooka
glow in the dark
oh my nipples are hard uh-oh damn why is that so funny to think about you
having just the pinkest
i'm on molly through the through the hair molly for four days straight yeah
yeah man
i'm like really loopy right now i had like a headache all day and i was like
i feel like you guys are gonna get me today you guys are gonna get me crying
and guess what
which i just almost if you're you're loopy jacks sleepy and guess what i'm on
are you back on this one point five millies thc probably wow 15 that's so
interesting because
last podcast on the patreon and can i say real quick we had a we need a promo
up top because
everybody drops off at the end when we promo stuff right you say at los angeles
april 8th yeah we
just fucking promoted that shit it's in los angeles april 8th 7 30 at the
american legion to post 206
the veterans hall you're gonna be supporting not only us but veterans as well
okay what how could
you could i think we should be leading more with the fact that it's at a vfw it's
gonna be different
completely diy event all right this is not associated with the theater we are
renting our own pa system
chairs it's gonna be busted there's gonna be beer there's gonna be maybe jello
shots
my girlfriend's gonna be bartending yeah we're doing what we call jelly
wrestling on stage in the
little you could just hear our knees hitting the wooden floor so hard through
the plastic yeah
that shouldn't afford um go ahead this we couldn't afford one of those rodeo
bulls
but we found a guy who's a fucking black belt in karate and you get in the ring
with him for a couple
minutes and if he pushes you out or we get like a sumo bull or something yeah
oh it's gonna be amazing
i know there's gonna be what are they called the meat meat cutes people are
doing meat meat cutes there
there's gonna be a lot of mingling i'm sure a lot of networking relationships
what's that
a lot of networking oh this is where you come to know are you kidding my ass
this is where you come
to network you start asking around the room asking for people's credits and who
they're who they're at by
yeah you're gonna get some interesting answers it's also going to be an
opportunity for scientific
sampling there's going to be many many specimen there many rare specimen and if
you are the type
who's into petri dishes and whatnot bring a couple cotton swabs and grab some dna
just not my dna
just not mine mine's not on the market yet i'm fine-tuning i don't have dna
i don't have any of that wait and then you guys before we wrap up the promos
where you guys gonna be
you guys gonna be there like this week or next week right to to we will be
location please this comes
out monday thursday milwaukee yeah that's the one that please please you're
begging right now this is
kind of you beg beg the that's the city of milwaukee to come out to the show we've
been working
that's probably why it's gone down the drain because we're working with local
government to try to
promote it we're just doing the tourism board route instead of managers and
agents and stuff yeah
but uh no that we're just saying please because we know that one's going to be
extra fun at the
cactus club and we know milwaukee is is like our one of our favorite hidden gem
cities oh milwaukee
i would say that's my number one city in my opinion in america foundation yes
oh i love everything
about milwaukee sick milwaukee is one of the most goaded cities ever no
everyone in the country is
sleeping on milwaukee milwaukee is fucking got it got it going on were you
there oh yeah you were there
this is the night that we you got too high and left the party for a long time
when we became worried
about you that was cool man that was really cool but that was when danny was
bringing the rotos around
the minty eye drops oh yes i remember i hit the rotos put that in then i'm sipping
on with a
painkiller at fucking foundation and then i and then i knew we were having a
party later that night in our
friend's backyard i don't ever get to feel that way in new york you know what i
mean i never have
that kind of with all my best friends something's missing in my life thinking
about how happy that
night the house party the house party fun you're not going to any functions it's
hard to have a
function in new york you know we host one maybe barbecue in our back little pat
little parking
a lot here about once a year and that's the best day of my life and i would
like to go i would like
to go to one like fucking lit house party a month like where i know everybody
and it's like i'm gonna
get i'm gonna get like unabashedly faded and i'm not gonna care about the next
day or the next couple
days and i'm just gonna just let loose in somebody's house not mine somebody
else's house and you're
you're flashing them pink eraser tips to everybody all the after about two
shots just like crying about
how much you love everybody we did improv together man remember dude are you
still doing it yeah
yeah well with any luck that'll be uh that'll be our lives in our 40s i know
hopefully the 40s are
gonna be awesome sauce i just know it oh the 40s are gonna be oh my god i can't
wait i literally
can't wait and i do want to apologize if you can hear that if you can hear a
mixer going right now
it's because land making some coconut dream bars whoops he's making