Name: For A Rainy Day | Joy Tactics Podcasts | Ep. 63
Uploaded: 2024-04-08T12:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'For A Rainy Day | Joy Tactics Podcasts | Ep. 63' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'For A Rainy Day | Joy Tactics Podcasts | Ep. 63' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-08. Transcript available.

For A Rainy Day | Joy Tactics Podcasts | Ep. 63

because that's the last thing i'd want to do is defraud the government of money
it's owed
well the irs is looking at you you're like america's most wanted irs style i
know yeah
they're trying to trick you basically i'm sending them chocolates every holiday
i send them something
edible yeah the irs welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things
joyful
joyous and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rahill
nate veroni and
jack bensinger enjoy two times speed episode everybody welcome to joy tactics
this is gonna
be the craziest one yet everybody how you doing that'd be a good challenge yeah
it would okay okay
okay okay okay that would be so hard okay
what is that sound
now i want people to pause for a second pause guess we need to play more fun
interactive games with the
audience what do you think this episode is about and i know you already looked
at the title
but some people haven't and they just kind of just are unconscious and maybe it
played in the up next
kind of thing on spotify what is this episode about what do you think go ahead
and take a moment to guess
all right now we're gonna let you know what it really is about rainy day it's
the rainy day episode
wow wow you were right you got it congratulations
well and because guess what i looked at my word thinking what are we gonna talk
about today we've
talked about so much before and now we have another episode to do we need a new
topic
well i looked at my window and what do i see rain as far
uh as far as i can see as i as far as i can tell outside
yeah there's at least been rain out here as well oh just saw a drop
so yeah it's still raining um now my question is are you feeling different
today because of the rain
are you feeling sad are you feeling gloomy or no are you blaming that feeling
on the rain
is your life in shambles and now you have a convenient excuse as to why you're
feeling bad
i was born in the rain you're oh oh oh born the rain forged me the bane uh
remember bane does he say fire when he does it darkness he says it's darkness
what does he say i was all this batman no just bane
for the last 12 years and that's what bane sounds like like that of course yeah
of course
he sounds like that man yeah right like a little british man kind of
man i was doing that shit i was like i never thought i was good at impressions
and then dark knight rises
came out and i was like oh fuck i believe i have a new talent
and my friends were liking it as far as i could tell
that was a dark period in your in in our friendship i remember
when i was doing the bane voice yeah
damn to know someone's in a mental crisis just whenever they're bringing the bane
voice out
well what are rainy days in the rain yesterday for probably 30 minutes or so
you were stuck in it doing outside i was commuting and it was simply pouring
the whole time i thought
maybe i'll wait to see if it passes this too shall pass as they say
as they say in russian uh maybe and guess what it didn't pass and i had no
choice but to go into it
and the experience was shocking it was at first shocking because it was cold
and wet
and i thought well i don't have the shoes for this i don't have galoshes on by
any means
and so then my socks started to get a little wet
but then as the minutes went by that's the worst it was the worst but then as
the minutes went by i
started to think you know what it's just water and it's totally fine so i so um
then i came home
and guys i guys i took my socks off after that and where'd you throw them
things did you throw
did you crumble them up and throw them in a corner or did you let them dry out
as we were taught recently
we were taught what we're doing that home ec class for adults night school home
ec electives
oh that would be fun i do feel like i need that not that bad i'm i just need
that to get an ego boost
because i'm already so good at that i want one of those like you know how they
have those i don't
think we ever did this but like you know how it's kind of like a classic trope
of home ec where you
get to take home like a baby like a like a electronic baby and and you get graded
on like
i think it survives i bet the the technology the baby tech for that has
probably increased you know
immensely right since there's no question remember when it is an egg sometimes
they just give you an
egg with a face on it that might have been your school and your classes yeah
this is widely widely
well maybe it was just a very collegiate pre-college type of school we're gonna
give you guys an egg
just to hold the teachers like fading out on oxy like has nothing teachers don't
do
chill no no no they don't um that seems so fucking hard even just having a cat
in the house right now
i'm kind of like god why does responsibility weigh right i would like to test
out before i
actually have a kid i would like to have a test like that you know what i'm
saying
just to just to feel it out maybe even for like like two years you know what i'm
saying just
all right baby's crying right now baby's crying you're single father single
father you drop you
go all right well i would get up i would get up immediately and stop the
podcast and and because
wrong family comes first before anything no dude you have f this child because
now it is dependent on you
and it will be dependent on others as long as it lives you let it cry until it
passes out
that's the way that tell me how to fucking parent my fucking child all right i
know your ass is
fucking you have you have the most fucked up kid on the planet like you're
talking to me it's like
yeah i'm raising the like leon the professional type kid your kid's trying to
plot in to kill you no
you're right though i would i actually learned this that you uh you're supposed
to let the baby cry at
night time like you're not supposed to go into the their their bedroom and like
help them out if they
are crying at night you just let them like kind of cry it out can you imagine
the the pure terror of
being a baby an infant again jack are you hung asleep no me why does it look
like it i looked over at you
and i couldn't i've never seen your eyes be that heavy on this podcast uh yeah
that's just i usually
am kind of like that no i'm not i'm full of crazy energy um at times what you
just saying i was saying
can you imagine the terror of being a child you just get thrown into this
existence and then you're
shut in a dark room in a terrifying cage well let me flip it to the next level
who you barely know
or just write fucking two doors down but it might as well be two miles
yeah like you're filled up what you're yeah you got fucking gerber fill a full
of gerber baby food
dude i just read i just read this about baby or actually didn't read it but
heard it from my
friend who's a mother gerber baby food is out gerber baby food i believe that
what's in what's in is
real foods for real food like like a no baby birding like literally real foods
yogurt blueberries
sweet potatoes little pieces of chicken oh it just has to be like mashed up
so they kind of that's the problem right they can't they can't uh well they can
still grind that
down with our gums and we can invent something there and you can suck on it too
you can suck on
anything down to liquid we've discussed that i i feel like right we've done a
whole series on that exact
topic rock sucking it's like the tootsie pop thing how many licks does it take
see what i'm saying
how many sucks does it how many sucks is it take to suck on a rock down a
liquid one a two who remember
him the owl yeah the impatient yeah yeah impatient lollipop owl that damn ass
owl i remember seeing
that owl on tv because it's an old-ass cartoon that they've just been running
since the 70s
and when i saw that owl i felt like i've been born in the wrong time because i
like the way these 70s
cartoons are drawn yeah i was meant to be alive then damn i just got hungry for
those uh tootsie roll pops
the hung uh i guess i don't know if hungry is the damn i'm hungry tootsie pop
you understand what
i'm saying jack you get that right of course i understand i just had four
single hot tamales
and a little mini taco okay but back to the topic of the episode rainy rainy
days what do you do rainy
days are amazing they're that's god giving you the sign to take a break you can't
till the fields today
you can't uh harvest the crops it's too wet why don't you stay inside by the
fire and get caught up on
culture get caught up with yourself or with your family hop under the electric
blanket and rot in your bed
and take it out on the world too for everybody listening who's on suicide watch
now a lot of
people what do they say is the highest rate of suicide people who have 100 what
what does that mean yeah
i guess what's the highest rate of suicide that would be 100 i see what you're
saying yeah yeah
i don't know if that's a rate i guess it could be a rate right 100 times a
second no because then
it's infinite so you said you asked what is the highest rate you mean do you
mean where is the highest
rate no i don't know exactly how to phrase what i mean or when but it'll make
sense in context
and i have the answer for it too it's more rhetorical than anything it's that
the people who have nothing
to blame on the external they have nothing to blame but the internal and that's
when they turn in and
that's when they take revenge on uh themselves or so a little well no that's
something different so what i'm
saying is rain uh can be very positive for the mentally unwell
interesting it's grounding it's humanizing i'm not making that up
it no you're not at all that's like when i was to come out of the ground and
you know released i feel
like i blamed a lot on sunsets when i was afraid of the sunsets remember how
those would make me feel
when i was what an interesting thing it's really the opposite too because that's
a thing of beauty
i know but i was able every day around five or six when i felt like i was you
know 10 miles outside
of my own body i was able to say oh it's just the sunset you know i'm saying
right i didn't have to do
the work of blame huh you didn't blame putting blame i blamed the beautiful
sunset one of the most
regular oh my god that we know of well eric have you ever considered this
because what do you proclaim
has fixed that i proclaim getting good rest via which has been allowed by my
sleep apnea treatment
that's right so now what's curious is of all things is that you are afraid of
the sunset back then
because what happened what does the sunset imply it implies going to sleep that
sleep is near
it implies the time of suffocation that you were experiencing so it's almost
quite interesting to
conceive of a connection there that is almost quite interesting the universe is
telling us things
in ways that you have to that aren't obvious okay so we had to dig we had to
dig pretty deep to find
that metaphor i know the answer is right there but i was in therapy for years
trying to figure that out
and jack just gave that to me for free well well i i think he will be charging
you you can invoice me
jack all right once i figure out what that is i'll send one over can i invoice
you guys for like
yeah if i were to either give you some great advice or you know help you out
with something that doesn't
typically cost money as a friend would you be okay with me invoicing you for if
i give you some great
advice and i was just like hey it'd be nice if you just like paid me a hundred
bucks like would that
would that be okay nate if we found out that you were very very near losing
your apartment or unable to
eat or whatever i would be asking you to invoice me for hella things you know
what i'm saying and if
i somehow got a hell of money oh because then we can write it begging you to
invoice me dude you look
great today why don't you invoice me for how good you look it was just a
pleasure looking at your face
through the computer it's also a manners thing too yeah because if you if you
said hey man i just ga