Name: 69: What is Britain?
Uploaded: 2024-05-27T11:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '69: What is Britain?' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '69: What is Britain?' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-27. Transcript available.

69: What is Britain?

hello sir hello mateys how's it going there uh right around right around three
uh right around
today today mateys welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things
joyful
joyous and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rayhill
mate veroni and jack bensinger enjoy it's going quite well i think we're doing
australia we're
doing australia you just saw mad max right mad max is lucky give me a point
isn't that you come here biatch yes come here australian biatch
yeah all right so what i'm saying is come here you australian sexual biatch
chill chill chill guys guys you guys come on today we're not talking you would
have survived well
in the wasteland eric i know i would have well i'd be a freaking rat i'd be
selling people down the
river in a second to get a little taste of that dirty water you know what i
would give me that
dirty water give me that dirty water let me suck on it
i didn't see this movie yet but this oh yeah we saw it Nate and i saw furiosa
yesterday
you're furiosa and i saw you saw orchestral cover band
right i saw that on your story i didn't want to ask about it but it was a dr
dre orchestral cover
band i didn't know if you were going through something and i didn't want to
reach out and
uh i'm always going through something but i don't need people to reach out i
don't know what that
means yeah all i was doing was enjoying i just want to give you some space if
you're you know
that's for sure four people on the violins and cellos one person on the bass
one person on the keys
there was a point where the guy who was rapping all the dr dre and eminem parts
all night his voice
got tired and so the pianist just played uh moonlight sonata for a couple
minutes and it was really fun
wow i mean it was beautiful this was at the brooklyn bowl this is at a bowling
alley yeah
yo that place is kind of remember when we went there jack yeah that was awesome
for the band covet
yeah that was awesome yeah that was awesome yeah the food there is really it's
a quite a fancy venue
that place yo the food is popping
you know what that makes me miss is corporate like my office parties that would
they would rent out a
space like that a couple times a year sometimes holiday parties sometimes not
and just the way that
you get faded at those events is like no other beer it turns it's you know it's
almost a miraculous
people get drunk in a frightening way at office parties right and you you
honestly this is a word
to the wise if there's anybody out there that's freshly 22 they're just entered
into the workforce
be careful at those parties because your first one you're gonna want to get
you're gonna want to get blackout drunk and talk to the director of sales and
talk to the fucking ceo
you don't want to be that person all right dip out immediately and go chill
with your fucking
friends all right you don't want to be in you don't want to be an hour like two
or three of those
parties because you don't like what you see and you're not going to like who
you become
i have the opposite advice this is where you get to show people who you really
are yep most of the
time at these jobs you're a drone people can get a sense of your personality
through your
amelian dora dora shirts that you're wearing on fridays they get a sense that
you really get it
and that you go to amazing restaurants and have interesting friends outside of
work but they don't
really know who the hell you are until you get until you're faded it's hell in
front of them
and hey eric and the way that you start talking shit when you're drunk like
that at a party i mean
that's that's like heaven that's manna from heaven really for me
that's what we miss out with zoom culture what what what what's amelian dora
amelian dora oh interesting question well you might want to see the side of nate's
hat wrong side
oh my god you gotta oh really yeah is that is that different you gotta wear
your hat like that the
rest of the podcast oh hello normally this is kind of y'all this was a brand
that was it's still
awesome nate and i i just folded one of their shirts over there but it was a
brand that was pop hang
when we got to new york in about 2018 and i remember going there with my new
salary money from
critio the company that i worked at and i was like let me get a damn ass shirt
amelian dora so they're french and italian maybe
something like that yeah well i like half of that people i guess french people
really are my greek
people in terms of nate not liking them really you haven't met the right ones
bruh you probably
i only met parisians well god got rid of them god got rid of the right ones
long ago there's no
you haven't met even in the french monger what do you mean by that he took them
out with diseases
because he wanted to chill with them i'm sure there was amazing french people
but god missed them up in
the spirit realm so he took them all back in the bubonic plague and now we are
stuck with the fuckers
because i meet a french person good god these people are so rude i have no
sympathy for them
i mean they're probably the easiest government historically to like kind of
take over i feel
like they've just been like i don't think they've ever like held their ground
and somebody's like in
just historically invade i think i think it's always been a hundred percent
maybe not the government
conqueror that comes in let me just always like oh let me just stop you right
there because maybe
the government was weak fools that let the nazis run that country over in the
40s remember that war
but there was something called the french resistance and that was the
government that is what i played in
many video games many saboteurs were uh active within that organization the
french resistance look
their own people took them over dude it's the the roman empire took their ass
over the fucking whatever
whatever whatever whatever was going on they're they're just folded immediately
but please would
you just give respect to the french resistance really British oh and see how i
brought it back
because of their military what's going on damn jack put it put them away put
them away put them
away not to shame your lumps your uh fat fatty deposits in your arm but put
those things away
their muscle deposits those muscular deposits in your arm put them things away
tiny little biceps
um it you know who probably had those were the winch the winches back in the
day oh well old
tommy britain that's right that's what we're not just the winches but all that
lower class probably
were how they all had that too i met i met uh the second person i've ever met
in my life to have
who has bumps all over their body last night was it a ma sexy model it was um a
sexy model for
maybe a stand-up comedy club magazine calendar
a.k.a jake nord we need to start making a stand-up comedy magazine
that would be awesome that's a great idea because you get to read people's sets
i don't think that exists
yeah you get to read it's just literally a transcription of the just dropped an
hour long
my hour in a in article format that's nice wait but but okay let's get on topic
for this episode
because this is one we've wanted the the listeners have wanted to hear for a
minute we're talking
about britain okay not the royals we've discussed them we're talking about the
common
folk excuse me sorry gavin and stacy core okay and i think they might be welsh
but and this is very
i think that's basically the same thing yeah to you it might because you have
british blindness
i know all the corners and pockets and shoreditch and all the rest manchester
manchester i love the difference between like it the the high the high class
british people are all
proper and they're all they wear suits and then the the drop between there's no
like there's no
spectrum between high class and middle and like the working class it goes hello
man and then it goes
the working class is just they're all making corridors for fiats and whatnot
they're eating
you know that lower they're eating up some beans and gravy give me that a piece
you a a piss hand yeah they have just one little help to yell at people well
and the brit the british go back long before you know the british go way back
pretty much ass back pretty much pretty far back i will couldn't tell you
exactly when truthfully
if i'm just being honest well long enough you know that they have about it
there's a deep pagan
history to that country deep pagan history and that is an anti-jesus religion
which started in ancient
rome centered around uh live theater
mm-hmm sacrifice smoke potions potions as well and i'm guessing i don't know
that
i mean we just gotta drop roman to this for a second you know the romans were
all the way up there
they had all up towards the top that we've already talked about okay okay well
what all right so that's
the history of of england really essentially romans were there before that
there are some people let's
just do a rough history way back in the day you had the people making those
stone uh what do they call it
stone and stonehenge stonehenge and we don't know how they to this day they can't
figure out how they
got them thing by the way a pathetic uh ancient sort of cultural remnant you
know like most of the
most of the you look at the mayans they have the whole pyramids the egyptians
have pyramids and then
well the ancient fucking british people those those i told you that was back
peasants yeah they just put
up five stones in a circle that was what you got you were supposed to build a
fucking pyramid dude they
got the wrong fucking blueprint from i won't stand in anaki aliens dude what if
i they gave them that
as a fucking prank they were like they gave me a pyramid blueprint what if i
told you
the stones that remain were just the foundation of a much larger structure
what if i told you that i guess this is you're laughing now how hilarious oh it's
real
bitch uh yeah i guess those were those so we got those were the those were neanderthals
dude those
were like people who were like 50 50 human neanderthals and then they kind of
fade you know what i'm
saying right like they were they were they were blown out the backs of the neanderthals
a little too
heavily in the in in britain i think you don't think it was the other way
around you don't think it was
the other way the neanderthals were that i imagine the neanderthals all sexual
with us
right right that's what i thought what do you mean us
well that's homo sapiens i don't have a drop of british blood in me
yeah that's for sure yeah you fuck we all i know all three of us do i
definitely do not
not with a 10-foot pole look at my 23 in me it's the most un-british thing you've
ever seen in
your life i'll send it to you i'll put it on the patreon i think that i've been
asking me for that
for a while you haven't sent it so you haven't sent me the venmo but what i'm
saying is your records
so we're actually looking to respect britain today and analyze right and stuff
which is very big of us
because they of the way that they treated us because if this was 400 years ago
or 300 years ago even
yeah we wouldn't be so nice to them because of what they tried to do to us in
the united states of
america which is taxation without representing our interests well can i do you
do a a tactic that
i've learned in therapy for you joy time we practice something here a joy
tactic right yeah a joy tactic
why don't we put ourselves in the british's shoes for a second go way back to
the 1700s
nah they're not stinky they were they were just wooden whatever
stinky ass go way back to the 1700s you spent all this damn ass money getting
this little ass country
set up you sent the mayflower or actually you didn't send that but the pilgrims
came over on that
shit to escape the horrible church but then you're like oh they got shit over
there so then you start
sending all your resources you're paying for this shit to be set up right then
all of a sudden you
have these little bratty uh americans with new