Name: Lunch Pt. 2 | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.72
Uploaded: 2024-06-17T12:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lunch Pt. 2 | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.72' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lunch Pt. 2 | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.72' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-17. Transcript available.

Lunch Pt. 2 | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.72

Well, this makes me curious about the East and West Poles, which haven't been
discovered yet.
The East Pole.
That's such a great point.
No one's found that shit yet.
Eric, you are a genius, man.
That might be actually the smartest thing I've ever heard anybody say in my
life.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Wow.
No one's expecting this from us.
I'll just say that.
No one was expecting this to happen so soon.
But we continue to surprise in crazy ways.
It's the sequel.
It's the comeback.
It's lunch part two.
We got into it pretty intellectually in the first one, but we didn't get into
it more emotionally and personally.
We didn't touch it personally.
We didn't touch it emotionally.
We barely even touched our favorite types of lunch or the history of lunch.
And I think I said everything I have to say about lunch.
I left it all on the table on that.
I put everything I had in that fucking podcast.
Dig deeper.
Lunch part one, I said everything I have to say.
There's nothing fucking left that I can possibly say about fucking lunch.
I don't.
Well, then you guys are driving.
No, we have to do the part two.
We have to do the part two.
I don't fuck.
Hey, real quick, Nate.
Can we reset, dude?
I don't like how you're coming into this.
I'll just let the listeners know, okay?
Last night I did a crazy-ass show that you probably couldn't even believe that
I was doing, just continuing to dominate LA.
Political fundraiser.
He went to an open mic and didn't get picked in the bucket and just sat there
all the time getting fucked up.
No, but I made some friends and we made lunch plans to tie it to the episode.
But then I'm like off the high from the crazy-ass show and the networking.
And so I say, Nate, let me pick your ass up right now.
It's 1030.
Let's go get a drink right now.
Yatch.
So I pick them up.
We go to the spot.
I'm not going to blow our spot up, but it's called the Grant.
And we go to the bar and I'm like, I'll have one of their special martinis,
please.
Nate goes, and a beer.
And I look at him.
I go, you realize it's Friday, right?
And yeah, so just so you all know, I had a martini and a mezcal last night.
Nate had two NA beers.
I'm coming into this episode with pure good vibes, even though I had two drinks.
And Nate's had nothing.
Nate's coming in all soured out.
Yeah.
I have no idea what's going on.
So Nate.
Maybe there was some.
Well, you know what?
You ordered the second beer for me.
So maybe you dosed me.
You think I would dose one of my closest friends with alcohol without their
permission?
Think again.
I would do a lot of things, but I would not do that.
Okay.
Nate, what makes you so afraid of pain?
Is it?
Yeah.
Is it the fear of pain that stops you from enjoying?
Because the pain of not enjoying yourself, you know, is deeper than fuck.
So Nate, you have a, yeah, exactly.
You have a predilection for, you have a predilection, as they say, for nicotine,
right?
Predilection.
Wow.
And you don't like, and you don't like alcohol.
You don't like things being out of your control.
So I think, I think you like the nicotine because you, you feel like it locks
you into reality
and I'm in control and there's no hangover from this and this won't ever hurt
me.
I couldn't have a drink of alcohol because then I'm going to be a little out of
control
the next day.
I can't, I won't be able to control my emotions and I won't be able to control
the hangover.
Yeah.
You need to let go.
Control the hangover.
You need to let go now.
I say release yourself to your inhibitions.
I'll tell you what, I told you this yesterday.
I had two.
I had 2.5 liter beers.
Okay.
These are German style beers at a, at a German beer hall.
Okay.
Two beers at about 5 PM, kind of early, you know, in the, in the, earlier in
the day.
So can I just say you had a liter of beer on one day?
That's like a soldier's rations.
That's nothing.
Okay.
That's what they would get.
I know.
I agree.
I agree.
It's nothing.
Nothing.
But after I would say maybe three hours went by and I start having this, this
headache happen
at about, you know, 8 PM and it, and it lasted the entire night until I went to
bed.
And I was like, did I just like, or do you think you're meant to just be
drinking at like
10 45 PM?
And then my body, I think was like, you usually, when you're drinking, you
usually like, you
know, uh, in bed by now, maybe do you think that's what happened?
So then it was like, Oh, you're skipping sleep.
So we're just going to go straight to hangover right now.
You have to keep that shit going.
You can't start and then stop your body.
What that is telling you is your body's craving more of the stuff.
Okay.
And that's a sign to listen to your body and have one more beer and play a
little as Jack
would play runescape.
I wouldn't play that.
If you're ever feeling that, I don't know what that is.
I don't, uh, I think there's a big, I'll tell you what, Nate, hold on.
I think there's a big problem and sorry to say it like that, but I think there's
a big
problem with people listening to their bodies too much and respecting the body.
The body is meant to do this early, early humans.
Our bodies are eating like this, sleeping like this.
My body's telling me to do this, make your body, your employee, do not let your
body dictate
your mind, your personal and professional endeavors.
That's the first mistake.
Why do you think we invented new food so that we wouldn't have to listen to our
body?
Why do you think we invented wheat so that we could go out and hit the streets
and Oh,
everybody's got a hell of bread in my bag and I need to, you know, my body's
telling me
don't move today.
Try to move as little as possible because you don't have bread.
Then we make bread.
Then we, next thing you know, we make biotin.
Next thing you know, we're making lion's mane mushroom pills.
See what I'm saying?
There are remedies to where you could tell your body, fuck you.
I'm not listening to you anymore, man.
I'm not, not doing this shit.
I'm drinking.
Yeah.
What about this phrase?
People refer to this when they are talking about their penis and boner.
Be careful.
And they'll say, they'll say, he's got a mind of his own.
Oh, well.
I never heard that.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Really quick, really quick.
I just, an image came to my mind.
Sometimes I have to, I have to relay these images to you guys.
No, no, no, I don't think about that shit.
I, when you said the invention of wheat, imagine that, I'm imagining the
invention of wheat.
You know, we were hunter-gatherers back in the day, just chilling, hunting down
antelope
and mammoths, whatever, with spears, sleeping under trees to hide from the rain.
That's when the Anunnaki come down in their rock, spaceship made out of
essentially rock.
And they come down, they see us run around hunting, like so hungry, having to
do intermittent
fasting to stay alive.
And, um, could you imagine the Anunnaki in their spaceship saying like, all
right, I got
something for you.
Their eyes roll back in the back of their head.
The spaceship's all rock.
There's no buttons in it.
Like to us, it would seem like, oh, it's just like all smooth rock on the
inside.
But actually it's like extremely highly technologically advanced and the Anunnaki's
sitting there
and the eyes rolling back, you know, and minority report style, it's inventing
wheat in the
airport and it's beautiful.
And it's blue palm, hold some seeds out to some hunter-gatherers and it says,
plant this
in the earth.
And that's maybe the beginning of the agricultural revolution.
But with the intention that like this should be, they were like, why are you
using this
for bread?
Like this is for fucking beer.
Like they probably came back, they went away for a while and they're like, oh,
when we
come back, it's going to be like a gigantic fucking party.
Uh-huh.
That's why they came here in the first place to like, they were like, what?
There's no fucking liquor here.
Like, we gotta, we gotta get them.
And then they come back and what do they see?
There's fucking loads of bread.
There's fucking bread bowls everywhere.
They wanted a damn planet-wide Oktoberfest and we couldn't deliver it to them.
They're smacking the hunter-gatherers around like telling like, nah, you gotta
fucking.
Put this in a jar.
That was a violent return.
That was a violent return when they came back.
Yeah, there was devastation.
Are you kidding?
We're about to fucking.
There's about to be a nuclear fucking.
Well, it's on them in their lives for no reason.
Leave directions.
I hate this idea that somebody comes in and leaves you a seed and then comes
back and
expects you to have done the right thing.
Stick around, have some responsibility and teach your children well.
That's all I gotta say to God or the Anunnaki.
Wow, Jack.
Whatever negligent fool is out there being the puppet master.
Well, that's a message to all parents.
That's a message to all parents, Anunnaki or not.
Just show up.
Literally, the power of showing up is crazy.
Show up for your kids.
And when you show up, no weapons.
Yeah.
Can I say this?
My fucking algorithm has merged with Anunnaki and it's in a frightening place
right now.
My TikTok algorithm.
It's not good.
It's fused with Christianity and the Anunnaki story, like ancient stories.
And it's fused into one another where it's just not good.
I'm getting really conspiratorial, far-right Christian sort of wacky theories
about aliens.
Be careful.
Maybe it seems wacky to you.
You know what I mean?
There's one.
Can I describe one?
Yeah.
There's a guy who says, it's strange that he's on some interview show.
He says, there's this strange correlation that none of the scientists want to
admit.
But whenever there is an abduction, and we have hundreds of accounts of this,
whenever there's an abduction, when a Christian is abducted and they invoke the
name of Jesus Christ, the abductors immediately vanish away.
And none of the researchers want to admit this, that there's a power to the
name of Jesus Christ.
He is the man.
You're getting fucking probed out.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Shut up.
I'd like to do that to try to get some lunch today.
Speaking of.
Yeah.
Well, we got to get back to charge me money.
Oh, yeah.
How do we veer this far away from lunch?
How can we tie it back?
And yet, how did we only veer so far away, but then you peek through the bushes,
and suddenly you're still right next to the trail somehow.
You think you've gone far, but we're right there.
Oh, there's just one leaf right here.
There's a leaf right here.
Let me move it.
Oops.
Oh, we're right back on the road.
Let me talk about the plowman's lunch.
What's that, Eric?
The plowman's lunch.
I've been researching out all week.
Is this one of the beef things that you're always talking about?
What beef thing?
I feel like sometimes you wake up and you go, mmm, good morning.
I just had a big tub of beef and potatoes.
Yeah.
Dude, when I'm dieting, right, and I'm eating beef for lunch, you know, not
just a big bowl of beef, but beef with some veggies and some other things, it's
the best I've ever felt.
Nah, I don't know how to cook that.
Just wait till you get married.
Do you think that's the best you've ever felt?
Just wait till you get married.
That's all I want to say.
Well, I can't even imagine that yet.
The plowman's lunch is an English cold meal based around bread, cheese, and
fresh or pickled onions.
This is, okay, so everybody's wondering what life in England, what New York was
like back in the early 1900s, late 1800s.
What the hell were they doing all day?
Well, let me, let me, riddle me, I'll riddle you this.
You think there's a lot of bars around right now, right?
Oh, this, New York's all full of bars.
It's nothing compared to how many little taverns were around in the late 1800s,
tenement style.
People would have little, like, on one city block, there could be like 10
little ba