Name: A Cure For Thirst [TEASER] | Joy Tactics Podcast | Bonus Ep
Uploaded: 2024-06-20T11:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Cure For Thirst [TEASER] | Joy Tactics Podcast | Bonus Ep' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Cure For Thirst [TEASER] | Joy Tactics Podcast | Bonus Ep' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-20. Transcript available.

Choy Ch-ch-ch-ch-choy tactics.
Malted milk.
Pink lemonade. Robitussin.
Moonshine.
Ice water. Ice cold water.
Ummm... Kombucha.
Uh oh.
Maple syrup.
Technically.
Well, I don't know if that...
Do you eat maple syrup or do you drink maple syrup?
This is Socrates level.
I would say you definitely don't drink maple syrup.
Nah, you consume it.
You consume everything.
The difference between...
What am I saying?
The difference between eating and drinking is what?
That's what's getting me excited today.
Eric, get that last yawn out.
Yeah, I'm fired up.
I'm fired up on this.
Excited today.
I'm really excited to get into this.
Is it so fun to talk about this?
Yes.
Is it chewing that makes it eating?
Yeah, it is.
Or what could it be?
Because you could swallow a hot dog.
We've seen that.
No chewing.
Swallow a glizzy.
Does Joey drink glizzies?
Eric.
No, no.
I wasn't talking about that.
Don't be predilectory today.
I never would.
I never would be predilectory.
I'm getting nervous about the...
To all the listeners.
I went to the batting cages last night.
Which is what I often do to let the rage out about the political shit going on.
And I was smacking those things.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Actually, there were children in there that were smacking them like that.
Kind of like you would imagine an adult would be able to do it.
They were hitting every single one line drive.
Boom, home run.
Boom.
But me and my friends, not so much.
But now my arm's feeling weak.
And I would have to imagine it's from the batting and not from a neurological...
Breakdown.
Well, we can't rule out anything until we get a professional...
Well, thank God we're chilling today, Nate.
We're going to the beach together, so...
Yeah.
If something happens to me, it's...
Abandon you immediately.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, coincidence.
Wow, Nate.
Coincidence, what?
Stranger coincidences have happened.
You know.
You don't need to remind me of that.
That I know about strange coincidences.
If you see a mosquito land on your arm, and you flick it away, and you look at
the mark,
but what you don't realize is that just moments before that, a spy has shot
cyanide capsule at you.
That's what you just evoked within my imagination.
By saying, yes, I have a pain that could have been logically caused by this,
but sometimes logic can be used as a weapon of deceit.
All right, somebody else talk, because my brain...
Trust me.
That was the end of my brain right there.
Trust me.
No, no, no.
That is...
Well, you brought up such an interesting critter, the mosquito.
The mosquito.
Because what do they drink?
What are they known for?
They're known for drinking.
Human coconut milk.
Blood.
And that's what we're talking about.
I don't know if we made that abundantly clear yet, but this is the drinks
episode.
This is the drinks episode.
Do mosquitoes drink or eat?
Look at the title of the episode.
They're just hitting play, and they, you know...
They got the built-in straw.
You see what I'm saying?
The sharp straw.
Can you imagine getting your mouth strawed out?
Nate's about to put in a zen.
He's showing us the zen.
Fiction becomes reality.
You know, fiction kind of becomes reality in this case, because before the...
You weren't really doing zen until we were kind of faking that we were doing it
all the time.
I know.
It became...
And now it's really a...
It really became like...
There was like a week where I was like, yeah, I've done one zen.
And like, we were just kind of joking about it.
And then there was probably like a seven-day period where I was like, yeah,
yeah, yep.
This is just going to be like...
This is just every day for me for the rest of my life.
Like, this is just...
Well, Pat was showing you those nicotine sprays.
Oh, my God.
I just got a hit of this.
This is new nicotine tech.
This is like going to be like in, you know, 2029.
This is going to be the craze.
Because this shit has been out...
Zins have been out for fucking decades, probably.
Or at least, you know, a long while before they got popped off...
Before they popped off because of Tucker Carlson.
Got addicted to them.
But there's this spray.
And it's one milligram per...
Nicorette.
It's a mist that you put on the bottom of your tongue.
And I saw you at lunch kind of...
That shit, I was like tweaking, dude.
It was fucking awesome.
It's so powerful.
I had that zen yesterday at lunch with you.
And I don't think I've ever had one in daylight.
Mistake.
That's awesome.
No, no, no, no, no.
Makes your body feel tight.
That's when the nicotine really hits, you know.
The daylight nicotine.
Because it combines...
Daylight nicotine.
Daylight.
Daylight.
It's a Post Malone song.
Wow.
Here goes Nate drinking.
So...
Yep.
Now, Nate's drinking what?
Coffee.
What do we know that Nate's drinking?
Black coffee.
Interesting.
Which is beamed out water.
Respectfully.
Coffee, beamed out water.
Now, that's the normal drink.
That is the normal drip brew that you're drinking, okay?
But as we know, the world of coffee is vast and diverse.
And there are many different types of coffee, okay?
Yeah, wow, Jack.
Damn, you have a lot of beverages.
Wait, were you drinking a coffee, Jack?
Two days ago, yeah.
Jack, where are you at on your coffee journey?
Because I've been trying to get you addicted.
Did you stay on?