Name: Do Video Games Make You Better Lovers? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 73
Uploaded: 2024-06-24T11:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Do Video Games Make You Better Lovers? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 73' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Do Video Games Make You Better Lovers? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 73' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-24. Transcript available.

Do Video Games Make You Better Lovers? | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 73

Because if you want to go, then baby, go on, yeah.
Are we starting? Is this happening? Are we starting right?
Did you just try and start the podcast, Eric?
Is that what you did? Wait, did people clap? Did everybody clap?
No, I haven't clapped, I haven't clapped.
Oh, clap, clap. I'm sending a text right now. I need 30 seconds.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy.
I can't hear it.
Oh, it's that famous song, Are You Looking Up?
What's that?
If you want to go, then baby, go on, yeah.
Cool, and we just got demonetized on YouTube for copyright purposes.
Awesome.
Oh, shit.
You won't be able to buy your high chew pack now.
Well, there's got to be a way to re-monetize once you get demonetized.
Smart.
Well, you'd think so, right, but the cards are stacked against us, as always.
Yeah, but sometimes I'm counting cards.
You didn't factor that one in.
Oh, shit.
And my life is at an eight count.
The running count of my life is an eight right now, and I'm about to double
down on myself.
Every time we go to the casino, Jack, I need you to tell me, when we play blackjack,
I always
need you to tell me what to do.
I am doing things in my life with gambling that I'm not telling you.
I don't like to hear that.
And you're never going to know, but one day, let's just say, your car is going
to look a
little different in your driveway one day.
The catalytic converter gone.
Eric's got the catalytic converter on his hood, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep it on the spoiler.
For people in need.
If you need that shit, take it.
I don't need it that bad.
I'll get a new one.
Oh, I'll keep it on just my person around town.
I don't even keep it on my car anymore.
But yeah, I'm going to rob you.
I was on a deep subreddit.
This was like right before I went to bed.
I was like looking at this.
And it was like, people who worked in a casino, what's the darkest stories that
you have?
And it was bad.
It was like a lot of people like.
Oh, no.
Dying.
I'll say dying and offing themselves after putting all their money down.
That doesn't happen.
How come you get off yourself in a good and a bad way?
Because offing yourself, you know what I'm saying?
Getting yourself off.
Offing yourself.
That sounds like a British way to commit suicide.
But I'm about to off myself.
I've offed myself.
I've offed myself.
I'm offed myself, mate.
Wow.
No, British fucking.
No.
We're not going there on this episode.
I don't reckon.
That's not what this one's about.
Has a British person ever done that?
Let's investigate.
Come back later.
I'll just tell you.
Yeah, for sure.
I'm perfect.
When they found out they lost the Revolutionary War, yeah, it was fucking Jonestown.
But then they regretted that when Brexit came.
Because if you killed yourself and you're a British ghost and you see Brexit
goes down
and you're returning to the block party, exclusive one island block party, you
regret that probably.
Get my body back.
Dig me up.
Oh, give me a steak and aisle pie.
Something like that.
Okay, so with regards to what we're speaking on today with the, because we're
talking about
gaming, casinos have games in them, right?
Right.
With random number generators, right?
RNG.
Mm-hmm.
RNG is right.
That's a video game term.
But we're talking more about, um, classically console games.
Okay?
Nintendo, Super Nintendo, PlayStation, PlayStation 2, Dreamcast, Sega Genesis,
Wii, GameCube,
Wii, the Wii U.
Remember the Wii U?
That was pathetic.
They thought they did some, no, no, I mean the Wii U.
Was it a school?
Was it a university?
I'm genuinely, unfortunately, asking that.
Wii U was kind of a precursor to the Switch.
It was a, it was the console after the Wii.
It had a little screen on it.
You don't remember this?
Wii.
I don't remember this.
And I do, I have to, I have to, I'm about to make some enemies.
If you are over 30 and you play Nintendo like that, get a, bro, get a grip.
That's just for babies.
A 64?
You should be playing sort of, um, you should be playing, uh, Hearts of Iron,
whatever, the
World War II simulators.
You should be playing, uh, Sekiro, all the From Software games.
That's for adults.
Okay?
Oh, right, right.
You should be playing, um, uh, Armored Core, Rubicon.
You should be playing, there's many games out there for adults.
Yoshi, Princess Peach.
The other ones, Leiji, Wario.
That's all for children, okay?
If you're still rocking with that shit and you're an adult, get a grip.
Eric, can I say something that might be hard for you to hear, brother?
What's that?
It's okay to let go sometimes of this masculine shell that you put on, because
I know you got
the beard transplant.
I know you're doing dangerous amounts of creatine and you're connecting cars
that you can't afford
to rent.
No, I don't know what you're saying.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You're, I, I just know that you're hiding a bunch of, you have a shrine to,
like, Princess
Peach and Mario and shit, like.
No, I would never, it's like in Rock with her ass, or, or the, or Daisy, the
hot one,
either.
Daisy?
Daisy, Daisy comes up to you at the bar.
Oh, Daisy.
Hello, ma'am.
What are you drinking?
I'm drinking a mess.
Well, she'd be about one inch tall.
That's how big they are on them damn screens.
You don't think they'd be more big in real life?
Um, no, maybe if they were.
Well, until you give them that mushroom.
Oh.
Hey, man, which one, dude?
Which?
Stop.
I'll let you decide.
Why do I, why do I, behave?
Hey, you'd be, you're the Will Smith Hitch guy of the gamer world.
I'll feel like you'd be reverse engineering those mushrooms, you know what I'm
saying?
To grow one particular part of yourself, Nate.
In that type of way, you know what I'm saying?
Not too, not to you.
Larger, larger erectile thing.
Fuck the pipes.
Oh.
Are you making the pipe?
Go into another dimension?
Oh.
Dude, all right, gaming, the state of gaming.
Oh, putting your willy down the pipe and getting some coins for you?
Yeah, because you jump into the pipe and you go into another underworld.
All right, all right, all right.
Underwater.
You're putting it down there like an interdimensional periscope?
But you're, yeah, yeah, you're fucking the underworld.
Seeing who takes a bite?
The hot tub fleshlight time machine?
Hot tub, you know what I'm saying here?
Yep.
Pretty much.
Exactly.
Interesting.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
All right.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh.
I was just talking with my girl about kind of who we are in Joy Tactics
University.
Yeah.
I think Eric, you're the historian.
Jack, you're the maybe engineer, innovator.
Nate, you are sex ed.
You are.
Yeah, 100%.
There's no question about that.
Wow.
So.
You're the sex ed.
All right.
So E.
What's that thing you were talking about, Eric?
E?
E3.
Entertainment 3.
The game.
Oh, this is like.
The gaming conference.
It's over, by the way, dude.
E3 is so over.
It's over.
This is a big time for gamers, dude.
I remember when I was really into gaming, when I wanted to be a gaming designer,
yes.
Full sale.
I wanted to be a video game designer, and I was looking up full sale degrees,
and I was
just dreaming of being in Winters Park, whatever, fucking Florida or whatever,
and just being
around all the other people who really gave a shit about games, you know what I'm
saying?
Right.
We were all designing them together.
None of this bullshit, this fucking run-of-the-mill, just fans of video games.
No, you want to be designing that shit and getting screamed at by someone with
cystic
acne.
Yeah.
Hey, man.
Don't make fun of us.
Okay.
No, I got that shit.
I got that shit on my legs.
But this is like our Super Bowl.
I don't, I don't.
The E3.
But what's coming out?
Elden Ring.
Bruh.
Many games are coming out.
The Elden Ring patch.
I have something to say about Elden Ring, which I don't know if I've spoke
about this
Well, should we let people know what Elden Ring is?
Sure.
The Elden Ring.
You've been in a, under a damn rock.
Well, most of our listeners are, you know, frickin' neurotypical sports fan
types.
They don't know about Frumsaw.
Right.
La-da-da.
What did I say?
La-da-da.
This podcast is usually blasting from the golf cart.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
They listen to this so they can speak to their weird cousins better.
Exactly.
They don't get murdered by their weird cousin when he finally snaps.
But, okay, so Elden Ring is a, I guess, a fantasy role-playing game.
It's basically like, you know, I don't know.
What is the technical genre of Elden Ring?
You kill shit, you go and kill shit on a horse.
It's not a massively multiplayer online role-playing game.
I don't really even know what that means.
It's just a game.
Whatever.
It's like Zelda, but harder.
It's like a dungeon.
You know, you go into, you do all these quests.
You know, you build up your armor.
It's like a fantasy game, you know?
And, uh, what's the technical genre?
I should know this.
What is it?
What the f-
Are you thinking, uh, I don't know.
Horror.
Well, literally.
We should know this.
No, I'll tell you this.
Thriller.
I'll tell you this.
The previous From Software games became so popular that they've developed a
whole genre
to themselves.
Right, right.
They're called Souls-like games.
Souls-like.
Okay?
Where-
Oh, wait, wait, open world.
Same thing.
Open world.
Sure, it's open world.
Of course, sandbox.
With boss-less event battles, as well as area battles.
Why are we talking about Elden World?
Oh, because there's a new thingy on it?
Well, I brought it up.
Apparently, there's a new expansion pack.
Yeah.
That expands the world, I think, or something.
But I just wanted to talk about it briefly, because I know.
Some of our listeners are obsessed with that game and might have an connection
to it.
And I just want to-
What do they call them?
But me, all three of us played it.
Of course.
When it came out.
And that was two years ago, right?
Three of us go into the Elden Ring woods.
Only one returns.
Three men go into the woods in the lands between.
Well, I got distracted by some real books and literature.
That's why I couldn't fucking beat it.
Okay?
Not because it was too hard, and I couldn't beat that guy that was sitting on
that fat ox outside the Golden City.
You read these far-right political books as a joke, dude.
But I just think you need to be careful.
Because it starts to leak in whether you like it or not.
No, no.
No.
I'm reading stuff.
I'm re-busting balls on here.
No, yeah.
It's all good.
It's all too good.
But listen.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Elden Ring came out like two years ago.
And I'm not kidding.
That game ruined.
I think I'm still.
I think maybe I just now recovered from the post-Elden Ring haze.
Because that game.
I haven't played a game like that since I was in high school.
I've been obsessed with it.
Thinking about it all day.
Couldn't stop.
Playing it all day.
And I didn't even fucking beat it, dude.
I was like, I was playing it for months.
Every day.
Like hours and hours.
And I was like.
What happened?
And it totally ruined.
What were you doing, Nate?
A whole year.
But what?
How did you know?
I don't know, dude.
I was trying to fuck.
It's hard, dude.
It's a hard game.
What do you mean?
It is, Jack.
It's the hardest game that's ever been.
I'm playing these fucking Legend of Zelda, man.
I'm playing games for kids, dude.
Dude, I'm not even a gamer.
And I roasted that shit thrice.
And you know how?
What do you mean you're not a gamer, dude?
You're the ultimate gamer.
Brother, I never played none of these games that y'all are playing.
I never played.
I've played Tony Hawk.
I've played Skate 3.
And I've played hundreds of thousands of hours and all that.
I've played Halo hundreds of thousands of hours.
RuneScape hundreds of thousands of hours.
But gaming, you know what I'm saying?
Like, yo, did you get this new game?
I don't game like that.
But y'all convinced me to get Elden Ring.
You tricked me.
But I'll say this.
I'll say this.
You might 