Name: Road Trips | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 80
Uploaded: 2024-08-12T12:00:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Road Trips | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 80' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Road Trips | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 80' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-12. Transcript available.

Road Trips | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 80

New York City to Upstate, New York, Beacon, Sogerties.
So Eric has had a lot of allegations put up for the last few weeks.
I was trying to do the classic start.
I was trying to do the classic start.
Welcome to Joy Tactics.
The podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and meeting as many
celebrities as
humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
It's Joy Tactics.
We need not even mention that.
If you've clicked on this link, you're probably very well aware that what you're
listening
to is none other than the Joy Tactics podcast.
That's right.
So, and today we're dissecting, why is it so joyful about road trips?
Why is it so joyful to go on road trips?
Why would that be so joyful?
You know what?
Unless you're road tripping with your brother who is all silent.
He's going on a silent strike and wants to be an Air Force pilot and you have a
suicidal
little uncle played by Steve Carell.
That's a good idea for something.
Remember that one?
Little Miss Sunshine?
Of course I remember that.
Yeah.
That was my intellectual awakening when I realized that I could fight at Rage
Against the Machine.
Now, I'll tell you.
Well, but go.
Go.
Okay.
When I was at the auto show, the New York auto show with Irish Catholic Conor O'Malley
last
year at the Javits Center, we were trying out all the cars, but there was one
car that really
shot electricity through my entire body, Joy Style.
And I don't know what it was, but it was a big van.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like a sprinter, like a big sprinter van.
Was it a Dodge Sprinter van?
It was a Dodge Sprinter van.
And when I sat up on that seat.
Wait, did you just say, wait, hold on.
Did you just say, was it like a Dodge Sprinter van?
And then Eric said, was it a Dodge Sprinter van?
Yeah.
We'll have to run it back.
I'm not sure if that's what happened.
But getting upon, getting my rear end, I won't say, you know, getting my butt.
Hey, man.
Putting my neurotypical ass on that seat.
All raised.
A really, really raised seat where you're really up there.
The lifted seat.
The crazy lifted seat.
That made me want to start having so much fun.
Do you guys know the feeling I'm talking about?
Of course.
Yeah.
It was like, even though we were in the Javits Center, fluorescent lights all
over the place,
little kids who I don't know, also in the car with me trying it out, I still
felt like
I was on the highway in that movie Barbarian when they cut to Justin Long.
Spoiler alert.
Oh, shit.
When he gets canceled via the phone?
Yes.
Yes.
Remember that?
Well, my uncle, may he rest in peace, a great uncle who died right after
Christmas, I told
you guys that story already, he was driving a Toyota Sienna around, and he had
that thing
tricked out.
It would like sink to the ground so it was easier to get out via whatever.
He had the handicapped hydraulics.
He had the sheepskin, you know what I'm saying, seat cover for comfort, and
actually
sheep's wool wicks sweat.
You think it would make you more sweaty because it's all warm?
No, no.
That's what the shepherds used to wear.
And it actually takes sweat away from your body.
Yeah, but I bet you he didn't never wash that thing, the covers on it.
Bet you that Sienna smelled a little different.
Well, we're going to need him to say that again.
You bet what, Nate?
Oh, shit.
Your internet's out.
We're going to need you to say that again, Nate.
Goddamn.
Are you kidding me?
Spectrum internet, dude.
It's over.
Well, Eric, that's so interesting, man.
It's over, man.
Why do you think it is?
I've been hearing a lot of interesting facts about animals related to sweat.
All right.
Can I just say real quick, just on Spectrum, I just got a new modem.
You know, it's funny.
I'm seeing him smile on the screen right now on the frozen panel, but I know he's
fucking pissed.
Yeah.
Wait, can you guys not hear me?
We're going to get it.
When he comes back.
Hello?
When we come back, we're hearing full anger.
Oh, my fucking God, dude.
I'm about to rip into Spectrum internet right now.
Oh, shit.
Can you guys hear me?
What's the opposite of a thank call?
Should I call Spectrum right now and fucking lay in their fucking asses?
Give me the fucking CEO right now.
Are you kidding me, dude?
The Lord knows I got it in me.
Eric witnessed this firsthand the other day.
What sort of power levels I'm working with when I talk to corporations.
Oh, my God.
I just got a new modem, folks.
My modem and router.
A new modem and a new fucking router.
And I upgraded my internet two times with Spectrum.
If you are, I'm just saying right now, I'm fucking pissed right now.
I got to be honest.
Because not only have I upgraded my internet two to three times, all right?
And, Jack, you've been with me in these fucking Zoom meetings when I originally
had these problems and I kept on upgrading my internet.
What the fuck?
All right.
If you are, this is a total, if you are on Spectrum internet right now, we need
a worldwide shift right now to Earthlink internet.
Okay?
I'm calling on everybody right now.
All the joy tacticians right now.
I need you to switch over right now.
We are boycotting fucking Spectrum internet right now.
Because you know they fucking suck.
You know that you hate their fucking service.
You know that you hate what they do to you.
They're not giving you the right speed.
They're fucking with us.
We're switching over to Earthlink right now.
All right.
All right.
Nate, can you hear us?
Yeah.
That was the choppiest monologue on Zoom.
Choppiest, most pissed off Spectrum.
You guys didn't hear any of that?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I knew it was coming.
Basically, most of it, no.
It was like, fucking opposite of a thing.
All right, and he's gone.
Oh, my God.
But I did hear something about a Spectrum boycott.
And I think if you're a real patron, you're going to participate.
And actually, I do have a Spectrum, too, but it's going really well for me.
And actually, I haven't had one single problem.
But you can just boycott the merch.
I'm not wearing my Spectrum shirt anymore.
Yeah, just don't buy any Spectrum five-pound hats.
Don't buy any Spectrum sort of swag.
Yeah, we're done with that.
And you'll be good.
Right.
We are done with that because they're throttling me on purpose.
And I'm curious to just look into the finances and the details of other
podcasts and see, frankly, are they fucking with us because they're threatened?
You know what threatening is, right?
I've never experienced that directed towards me.
But I've done it many times to many different style service workers.
What were you guys talking about?
Oh, now you're back.
Now you're back.
Fully.
Well, I just plugged in my Ethernet cord.
So hopefully this is...
So now you're coming in actually too crisp and too clear.
Direct.
Too clear.
You guys don't like that.
You guys want me to come in a little bit.
When I'm too HD in person, it's scary.
It is.
Isn't it?
You guys like seeing this fucking busted webcam version of me where it's a
little blurry.
Yeah.
The audio is a little bit fucked up.
Yeah.
Of course we do.
When I come in too clear, it's a problem.
Okay.
That was scary.
That was scary.
And to the listeners, we're sorry that you had to listen to that.
But we are real ones who go through real shit still.
We don't have the head gum studios at our disposal.
We have to do it from our homes.
Okay?
So this is us keeping it real for you guys.
Self-produced.
We are independent.
We're one of the only independent podcasts.
We're not signed to any label.
We have no conglomerate.
We're not a part of iHeartRadio or HeadGum.
It's all from scratch.
Huge conglomerates.
And who are those owned by?
Interesting.
Go up the food chain.
Peter Thiel.
Julian Assange.
Jason Dula.
Julian Assange.
Jason DeRue.
Jason DeRue.
Don't make me.
I wish to God I could do something like that with my name.
Jack Pinsinger.
Well, let's get back to, you know, listen.
We got the anger out when we needed to because I could sense something in the
water when we
first jumped on Zoom that we needed something to pounce on.
Right.
But now let's redirect towards our love of road trips.
Road trips.
Okay?
Well, what is a road trip we all have been on together?
Can we recall one of those?
Yes.
Is that possible?
I can actually.
Say it now.
And it actually ties in perfectly to the Joy Tactics podcast, I would say.
Say it now.
It was from Milwaukee to Chicago.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
No, that was fun.
And really, that's more of an hour-long drive.
But that's a road trip.
We were so hungover.
In Midwestern, that's a road trip.
That's a road trip.
If you live in the suburb and everywhere you go is 10-minute drive, if you go
anywhere for
20, 25 minutes, that's a whole day gone.
Well, that night before, Nate, you went missing because you had smoked too much
weed.
That is so funny.
We all got scared.
I got too high off of...
Now this is just inside ball, but someone had some stanky...
I was like, hadn't smoked weed for a long time.
I probably told this story, but I hadn't smoked weed and I thought I could
smoke weed like I
used to.
And I hit that shit and just went to fucking hell, dude.
It was...
I smoked like a whole...
You know how you're like in the joint rotation and you guys are just smoking
the whole joint?
Of course.
Of course I know that.
Pass it, pass it, pass it.
Taking multiple hits.
And I was like, dude, I haven't smoked weed in like two, three months.
Like I could probably only handle a puff if that.
But you didn't handle puffs?
And yet you were puffing and puffing.
Dude, I was like fucking going puff to puff with Neal.
You were going down on the joint.
With stupid Neal.
Oh, no, you don't want to do that.
Stupid Neal can...
I love...
Shout out stupid Neal.
And by the way, that's the name that he made up for himself.
So we're not being...
Right.
Talking down on him.
That's how he likes to be called.
Now, that was a funny instinct, Nate.
To get too high and be like, you know what I need?
I'm too high right now.
You know what I need is to go disappear into the dark, dark, mysterious streets
of Milwaukee.
Well, you know, here's what happened.
I went for a...
I was like, I'm going to try and walk this off.
And I thought it would be like, you know, maybe like if I'm gone for 20 minutes,
15 minutes, no one's going to notice.
I'm just going to...
And then as I was like 20 minutes in, I was like, yep, I'm too high right now
still.
So I just kept on walking.
And all of a sudden, it just turns into an hour.
And then people are worried about you.
Now it's a road trip, Link.
Right.
What would you guys think what was going on?
I thought...
I thought you were putting it down.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't think that.
And I would never think that about you because you wouldn't do that.
But...
You thought I was cheating?
One of us loyal people on the planet?
No, my mind didn't even go there.
In friendships and relationships?
No, just putting it down on yourself.
Oh, okay.
Putting it down in the Airbnb room.
Lights dim.
Going crazy all oiled up.
Man, I need to jerk off right now.
This party is so nice.
I got to disappear and jerk off for an hour.
Rent an Airbnb that night.
In a dark...
No lights.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
Well, we were off the experimental Molly.
I won't say what it was, but it was Molly.
Right.
Well, I didn't want to go there.
And I would never do that.
I've never done it.
Children listen to this.
No, that's a child's job.
And they see it as role models.
I love that movie.
No, but many men that get too fucked up around Lake Michigan.
Many men dying Lake Michigan.
Whoa.
And they get too fucked up.
They pass away.
Whoa.
It's true.
It's true.
People get too fucked up.
I went to college there.
You thought I got fucked up and just jumped into the lake and then drowned?
People find bodies in that lake all the time.
For people that did too many fucking Jager bombs or whatever.
Too many attack and weed hits.
So, yeah, that's where my head was going.
We're pretty close to the lake and the river, by the way.
If I'm, like, legit missing