Name: The Notion of Season(ing)s | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.82
Uploaded: 2024-08-26T12:01:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Notion of Season(ing)s | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.82' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Notion of Season(ing)s | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.82' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-26. Transcript available.

The Notion of Season(ing)s | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep.82

I think, Nate, you're the most likely to drink pee for the health benefits, I'm
the most likely to drink pee for the creative analysis, and Eric, you are the
most likely to drink pee for survival panic.
For what?
For survival purposes.
Oh, you think I would just hog all the pee immediately?
I think you would get the most scared and start drinking it first.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Barone, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Seasons change, but I've tried hard not to change for you.
Garlic powder.
Cayenne pepper.
Maldon sea salt.
Winter.
So, hold on.
We're, okay, so back up.
Season.
Seasons and seasoning.
So, this is such a complex topic that we are delving into, not only the top, we're
moving from topic to notion.
Right.
Okay, people, you guys really are rocking with that.
We're going into the notion of season.
So, that includes seasoning, seasons as well.
Season.
Season.
So, that's very interesting right off the bat.
I know.
Seasons.
Seasons.
How did they do that?
How did they do that?
They call these things these different things.
Seasons, the seasons of winter and summer and shit?
Yeah.
So, but when I think of a seasoning, like garlic and pepper, I'm trying to
understand how they did that.
Well, I think seasonings came first before the notion of seasons.
Really?
Because seasoning is a sprinkle of salt on your lunar cycle.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
When you sprinkle on the garlic salt of winter, you know what I'm saying?
So, that's why I think seasonings came first before seasons.
Can you imagine bringing some everything but the bagel seasoning to the
medieval ages and putting that on some roast porn?
Give that to the king.
You have your own plot of land.
You know, you get your own squire and your own maiden, if you know what I mean.
Wife.
One of the most beautiful ones.
When are they going to make just the bagel seasoning?
Oh, you mean bread?
You mean breadcrumbs?
Well, bagel crumbs.
Can I just say right now, I hate everything but the bagel seasoning.
You've said that.
You've made that very clear, man.
You've battled that.
You've already had that, put that flag down.
And it's a weird one to make.
It's a weird stance to take, but no one else is making that stand against that
seasoning.
Because we like it.
Because everyone likes it.
Except for you.
Well, but I'm different.
And I always have been.
I really actually don't want to come in here with negativity because I feel
like I've been
weirdly bringing a lot of negativity to this podcast recently.
I've got a lot of long messages, essays sent to me about my behavior.
And I'd like to bring some positivity for a change.
Get back to the root of this podcast.
How are you going to do that?
How are you going to?
I don't know because I'm not feeling it.
I'm not feeling that way.
I feel at my wit's end with life.
But, and that's a lie, but I'm going to try my best to just, you know that
saying, fake
it till you make it?
I've heard that a lot.
Do you know that saying, the Duchesne smile, what the Duchesne smile is?
No.
What did you say?
What was that?
It's called the Duchesne smile, dude.
Duchesne?
Duchesne.
Duchesne smile?
Hey, chill, chill, chill.
Duchesne is some man's name who figured this out.
If you just smile, if you put a pencil between your teeth and smile like this
for 30 seconds,
it's, no, not like some kind of Pink Panther villain.
If you smile like that for 30 seconds, it tricks your brain.
You're tricking your brain and it's sending chemicals.
So everybody just...
I also heard that if you high-five yourself in the mirror, if you give yourself
a high-five,
that's similar, similar thing.
It's sending dopamine.
Yeah.
Can I tell you something about pencils?
Yeah.
Speaking of this, does anybody else have this type of stuff?
I have, like, all these, you see this black spot on my knee right here?
Oh, solid ink.
I mean, graphite, graphite.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm seeing it barely.
I've got those all over my legs from going like this as a kid to be funny.
Ow, ow, ow.
Wait, that's a permanent discoloring?
It's little infinite pieces of...
I've got them all over my...
Right there, I've got them.
I've got one here.
Jesus.
Wow.
And I never noticed that I've had that on you before.
That's the original tattoo.
If you're eight years old and you're listening to this and you want to be funny
to your friend,
get one of these things and just start.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's the Ticonderoga pencil?
That's the Dixon Ticonderoga.
You can't get better than that.
That's an American classic right there.
The best, most classic pencil, HB2, soft.
Oh, shit.
I like it hard.
I like the hard tips.
So, the notion...
They used to write with feathers.
All right.
Thanks for bringing it back.
The notion of seasons.
So, it begins in the winter with something called January.
Yeah, right, right, right.
That's at the end.
It's interesting that the first season is the most difficult one, at least on
the East Coast.
Unless you live on the other hemisphere.
That, and then it's actually, Philip, Christmas in July.
I can't acknowledge that.
I can't accept that.
I don't think about that.
I don't understand.
Frankly, I don't understand how that works.
No.
Something about the pole.
Right.
It's definitely polar, polarly related.
I feel like we, as humans, need to get more in tune with the seasons.
Because I feel like right now, we are...
What are, sort of, celebration cycles are dependent on pagan rituals.
Okay?
But those are based on seasonal rituals.
And I think we've drifted way too far away from the natural orbit of the sun
and the planets.
And we need to get back to that fucking shit.
We need to get back to crazy ass jubilee.
I don't know what a jubilee is, but I feel like that sounds like something that
is seasonally related.
The autumn jubilee.
Doesn't that sound fun?
I want a jubilee so bad.
And when the equinox happens, you have a jubilee.
A parade of some sorts.
You know what I've always wanted to experience and have never been able to?
Is having some punch at a jubilee.
Out of a big punch bowl.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what do you put in punch?
Rum?
Run.
Run?
Yeah.
Some run.
Some fruit juice.
Now, why do I feel like some punch is all milky?
Yeah, sometimes.
Why do I have that sort of perception of punch?
Calcium.
Milky, milk punch?
There's calcium gatorade.
Right.
But having a punch at a jubilee and doing a line dance to celebrate your
harvest.
Can you imagine?
None of them like sexual dances.
Like, we've gotten too sexual with dancing.
Right.
Dancing used to be just kind of, um, just, it was more like clog based, you
know, making
sounds with your feet on a hardwood surface.
I know.
That's what dancing used to be.
Well, bring them long dresses back.
If I see a miniskirt these days, it makes me throw up from how revealing it is
and how
far away from my values it is.
Yeah.
But giving them long dresses.
Right.
Because the long dress makes you actually wonder what they got going on
underneath there.
Another dress?
Because if they're wearing a long dress, what do you see first?
The colors, the stitching, the pattern work.
Sure, that's obvious.
But the first thing you see on a woman or whoever's choosing to wear that dress
first would be
what we call our personality.
Right.
And that's where your imagination, because your imagination is stronger than
reality.
If I tell you to close your eyes and I put a burger in your mouth and you start
thinking
about what that burger looks like, oh my God, your teeth can crunch through the
layers of
your tongue because this thing could be anything.
But then, I mean, imagine that.
Then you open your eyes and it's a freaking, uh, basically a gray hockey puck.
That's what the analogy is.
Right.
Let the imagination do the walking.
What happened to our vivid imaginations as humans?
They got mind controlled.
Because people used to have wigs on too.
So you didn't even know what kind of fallout.
Bald men like me could, you know, it was a mystery until you got all naked in
the bedroom
and you took that fucking powdered wig off.
Oops, I guess when I'm bald.
And it would be a fun little surprise instead of a shameful thing that you walk
around with
on your day to day.
You should get a powdered wig sewn, surgically sewn into your head.
Get that in.
It's so powdery everywhere you go.
It's a cloud of dust.
Why did they powder those things?
Well, dude, to keep the lice out of that shit.
To keep the lice out of that shit.
From what I can imagine.
No, that can't be right.
Or maybe it's to make it look white, which is the hair color of God.
The hair of wisdom, too.
Here's what happens.
Sometimes in societies, the top echelon of guy back in the day in the patriarchal
system
was probably a white-haired 76-year-old guy.
And he's looking around and he's seeing all these dudes with amazing locks of
brown, red, blonde hair.
And he's all gray.
And he says, fuck this shit.
I'm going to make it a style that everybody has to be gray like me so I don't
have to be jealous.
And that's what happens.
That's an insecure man who's afraid of age, time, denying.
They like denying, rather.
They're not afraid of denying.
They welcome that.
Yep.
I hate that.
You know who's so sexy with white hair?
Danny Phantom.
The Witcher.
Oh, who's that?
The video game Witcher.
Oh, no.
Played by Henry Cavill in the Netflix series until something fell apart and
they had to recast him
with Liam Hemsworth.
But in the first two seasons of The Witcher on Netflix, that's Henry Cavill in
the white hair.
And he make it look good.
Hey, imagine being the first person to have blue hair.
You walk up and you walk in the woods and get a bunch of blueberries and rub
them on your head.
And then you come back to the squad and everybody goes, what happened?
You go, what do you mean?
I have blue hair.
Well, yeah, I have it.
I've been selected.
I don't know what it is.
It's not a disease.
I feel happier.
Don't smell it.
But that's a cool thing.
Can we just call out what the fuck is in blueberries?
Because you know they look normal on the outside.
But you squish that thing open, it's got green liquid in there.
Wait, what type of blueberries are you fucking eating?
It's got some kind of crazy liquid in there.
It's not like it's blue all the way down.
It has some kind of gel in there.
It's not a blueberry?
Interesting.
All right, well, let's call them out then.
I ate the blueberries in your apartment and I got food poisoning.
And you're talking about green juices.
And maybe your body's adapted to this sort of fucked up blueberries that you
get.
I just found the cause of what caused my food poisoning.
I love blueberries.
The notion of blueberries is a fictitious one.
Well, now when do blueberries, now what season do blueberries fully come out in?
August?
So that would be the summer season, as I know it.
I don't know.
This notion is much more complex than I had thought when we set into this.
Seasons?
Yeah, because it's not the same.
Favorite season now.
Fall.
It's fall.
Instantly fall.
My birthday is the Scorpio season.
Come on.
Everybody loves fall.
That's the best season.
It's true.
Damn, they made that one sound evil.
Scorpio?
Scorpio.
Yep.
And you guys are bold and narcissistic.
And dart.
And we like being choked out.
Jesus Christ.
Is that true, Nate?
Yep.
Hold on.
You like being choked out.
Choked me out.
Oh, I felt really bad last night after a show here in whatever it's called, Wilmington.
Yeah, I had a really nice connection with a guy in the audience.
And then, I don't know why, man.
I pulled out a fake gun out of my waist and I shot him in the head.
I felt so bad about it and I told him that.
Did he forgive you?
Did he forgive you?
I think he did, but it doesn't mean that he was ready to move on just yet.
Forgiveness is crazy, man.
Forgiveness is one of the most craziest things.
Wow.
That is what, that's a notion I'd like to explore.
You know, I talk about radicality.
