Name: what is under the ground? [teaser]
Uploaded: 2024-08-29T14:00:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'what is under the ground? [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'what is under the ground? [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-29. Transcript available.

joy tactics oh nothing like a cat there's just nothing a cat's paws a cat a cat's
paws
i think of a couple of things like a cat no i can't a cat's paws a shark's jaws
oh uh like pogs i eat i eat uh is that what we're doing time to start sucking
on some frogs
all right all right all right let's really start this is going to be the last
episode of joy
tactics this is it we're hanging it up we weren't going to until until just now
and yet nate's in the deathbed he's got the pillow behind his head that's the
1760 deathbed
this is just like a foreshadowing for me in the hospital bedroom just all kind
of like
you're gonna be in white linen when you die i know it for sure white linen
there's gonna be a veranda
outside italian i'm gonna be podcasting till the fucking day i die dude there's
not gonna be a
thing that can take me away man yeah realistically i do think nate you your
final moments will be in
like a purple silk robe in like me and mars i'm like that oh you're definitely
skipping to the philippines
hundred percent there's no question if we're being realistic and i have i have
like no friends but i
have like a fucking like 700 person militia private militia but you call them
your friends like those are
just my friends 700 different young uh 20 year old men and women is that how we
speak english all snipers
every one of them a sniper all sniper army
taken out by one guy with a fucking chank just like hold on a second oh oh you
fucking me oh dude
having a sniper for self self-defense on the streets of new york you're fucking
with the wrong guy and
then turning around and running like 200 meters what the fuck are you doing
just wait just thinking
about like recently if i'm a clock tower yeah you know i was thinking about is
like if you have a
uh a militia of any kind that's protecting you security guards whatever you can't
be too cold to them
because they're the people that can flip on you you know what i'm saying
especially back in the day
well look at you got to be nice to these these people jump in the ear what are
the chances that
what and don't be joking what are the chances that one of us actually gets a
security guard
a bodyguard i mean by the time that we die
i'm holding up a zero zero i'm gonna try and hold up a one to make that a
hundred percent
a one and i'll do yeah i'll do a hundred as well uh i'm not saying that i
wouldn't deserve one i'm
just saying that i'm not gonna fucking need one because i fight and i bite your
own and you fight
dirty too everybody knows you fight dirty for the johnson nuts when you went to
taylor swift's house
jack yeah how many security guards were there i know you were marking this down
in your notebook
two at the front door white men probably about five eight the other one by
about six one then they
walk back to an elevator you go up to the fourth floor once you get there you
get the covid test
there you will see the walkie talkies take those out then that's where her
front door is and guess
what there was nothing stopping me from taking a big fat kitchen knife walking
up to emma stone
and sam you know right well that's but and that's what you told them in your
pitch of how you could
actually be a better security guard like i fucking found the flaws immediately
yeah you guys didn't
what you didn't do is murder proof the house before you know what if i ever
have security guards like
me remember security guards from like the 80s and they all had like big
sunglasses on and they had
the uzis with the long clips and they just kind of stand guard like that you
know like the sandinista
style security guards that's who i'm getting but i'm getting the the throwback
security guards with
the uzis you want people who can't run faster than you you know what i want is
a sort of rock big
relationship where it's like a tv show and we kick it all the time we're we're
best buddies you know
you know that's in peace to big rest in peace to big christopher big black boykin
we'll see you soon
brother i used to love the fuck out of that show dude that show was like so
funny like i was i would
look forward to that show whatever every you know the origin it was all what is
the origin from the
videos it was uh rob hired chris because he was tired of dealing with security
guards at skate spots
and so he had his own anti-security guard oh okay that anti-security guard is
so sick that checks out
oh shit the anti oh we should make a
if we remade robin big but it's like joy tactics and you know the juggernaut
and mandy moore
wait what if we are all mandy moore security guards oh i see what you're saying
we're we're big yeah yeah oh oh yeah do you think there are security guards
that are trying to like
get into the industry like you know like assistants are like that like they'll
they'll like fuck yeah
nanny for somebody and then they get the bump up i'm sure there's like security
guards who are like
you know working on their their scripts and reach into the coat pocket of a
security guard on the red
carpet and you will find a resume with august osage county with all it's fool
for love these people are
these people are not there for on accident reasons you know how a lot of djs
are discovered by like
like they'll throw a flash drive on a thumb drive on stage at like a diplo
concert or something like
that with their beats and their mixes we need to start doing that at plays
throw a flash drive on the
stage of like the appicino joint you know what i mean throw a monologue on
stage during death of a
it's in your character trust me this is fun for you please please this is the
scene this is the scene
yeah exactly exactly and then it's just like snow white trying to being stopped
from jumping off a
tree don't do it so what are we talking about today we're talking about the no
it's all right we're
just having a fun time you know riffing we're trying to conceptualize the idea
of underground
underground the underbelly of society the underground of the arts
what is underground
living underground which might be a reality very soon
if the volcanoes erupt the ways that i predicted cky what is that a cky cky not
quite circular piece of
glass that ian michael michael glasshart hooked it hooked it up fuck yes that's
fucking sick
let me just ask you guys a question real quick raise your hands if you've been
to the catacombs
in uh beautiful france and paris hello put them up just me oops starting a
class war once again
yeah have you guys you guys know about the catacombs that's what they're called
the catacombs
what is that wait what are they called the catacombs something tells me that
had to do
something with the french revolution am i wrong about that or am i right well
no there's no catacombs
in les mis that i remember you're and jack is a limit scholar of course i am
that would be so sick
if you turned out to be a musical theater major one day more we should do that
but for the wg not one of
songs we should do a musical yeah definitely oh you're talking about a musical
about the wga strike
yeah and the struggles of all the writers and the martyrs
so if you're curious one day more i have the sign here but it's blurry and
right before intermission
it's like the writers meeting meeting up with the actors from sag joining hands
and then being shot
but it's just their shadows and they're shot on the backdrop and they're martyred
yeah oh okay
catacombs are human-made underground passages primarily used for religious
purposes particularly
for burial any chamber uses a burial place is considered a catacomb although
the word is most
commonly associated with the roman empire dude
oh
oh
but listen i see
i saw i saw this shit in rome as well
and these people back then were getting freaky with the bones you know how what
do you mean i'm gonna
i don't know if they're sucking on them they better be underground if that's
what they're gonna do with
the bone that's why oh shoot now i'm thinking of a conspiracy theory
why do they put the bodies underground why they don't you want you to see them
are they really down
there well right but no listen they would arrange the like you know how artists
if you put an artist
in a box and you make them use the materials that they have on hand they might
make something even more
better than they could make with infinite resources of any kind you know what i
mean
limitations enabling constraints so yeah enabling restraints creative
constraints right right well that's what they