Name: Books | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 90
Uploaded: 2024-10-21T10:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Books | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 90' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Books | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 90' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-21. Transcript available.

Books | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 90

So, you have to keep in mind point of view sometimes.
And who writes history?
The winners.
That's right.
All my trainings, you're remembering everything that I've tried.
I'm your star student, dude.
Welcome to Joy Tactics.
The podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous,
and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
Wow.
And then there were two.
How interesting.
Wow.
This is, I mean, are you scared right now, Eric?
Well, I'm scared.
To talk to me one-on-one for the first time?
You will never, you always want your little fucking shepherd, Jack,
to protect you this whole time from me.
And now you got to face me one-on-one, finally.
Well, you think I'm afraid, but I'm actually not.
I'm not afraid to be chatting even more on this thing.
I love talking, and I'm not afraid of you, man.
I can't, and I haven't listened to the ones that were just you and Jack,
but people seem to like them, I think.
But I think people are going to be blown away at our dynamic in this.
I think people are going to love it.
This is going to be revolutionary, I think.
Is this the Monday episode?
Yeah, right?
This is the Monday episode.
Happy Monday, everybody.
Dude, happy Monday, everyone.
An amazing week.
Halloween is how far away?
Yo, it's coming up.
I mean, it's within two weeks from now.
That's amazing.
It's amazing news.
Do you have a costume picked out at all?
I don't.
I don't.
Maybe I'll be Pumbaa.
Because Nate and I went to our friend Kate's Disney bounding party.
Did we explain what bounding is on this?
I don't know if we have.
So, Disney bounding.
Which it took me so long to figure out what it actually was.
I don't know why.
Like, it was described to me like four times, and I could not wrap my head
around it.
But go ahead and try to describe it to the people.
Okay.
So, Disney bounding is something that well-adjusted adults do, major fans of
going to Disneyland
do when they go to the park.
So, you can't dress up as an actual character from Disney when you go to a
Disney theme park.
Because the people that work there are afraid that you'll fool a child into
thinking that
you're actually Minnie Mouse or Belle from Beauty and the Beast, one of the
best movies
they made, or whatever, Gaston, which is probably what I, people think I'm him
without even dressing
up.
You know what I'm saying?
So, what they do, a way around this, a loophole through not being able to dress
up like the
characters, is by getting to the boundary of that character without crossing it.
So, people will, if they're Buzz Lightyear, they can't put on the actual Buzz
Lightyear
costume.
So, they put on, they wear like a white shirt with neon green shoes and like
purple shorts
or something.
Or like in like a little Buzz Lightyear hat or something.
Does this make sense?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Am I explaining right?
You are actually very well, I would say.
Thank you.
And I don't understand why, why, I don't think kids are going to be confused by
that.
Because to me, a kid, if I can tap into the childlike mind, which I do often,
and I think
it's necessary for being creative, is to get in touch with that part, that
inner child.
The inner child in me is saying, why is it wrong that there's 17 mini mouses,
you know,
and I'm seeing multiple ones in them.
That sounds awesome to me, is that there's many different types of characters.
You see different races of characters, you know, all across the park.
They want to, they want to, it's like the Santa thing.
They want to keep Santa white, you know what I'm saying?
But Santa, and the beauty of having different Santa is that you can see Santa
as a different
races, different genders, you know what I'm saying?
And that's what we're missing out.
And I think Disney could, you know, I don't know, learn a thing or two overall.
We need an alcoholic Lumiere who's off about 18 Disneyland Bud Lights, eating a
couple of
churros, fucked up, falling over, but looking like that candle.
That's the danger.
That's the danger is that these park goers who are dressed up will damage the
brand.
By being too fucked up or saying something racist or something evil.
So they're just trying to protect these characters.
Because keep in mind, man, for these companies, these characters are their
business.
Okay?
Right.
Keeping those characters pure is in their best interest monetarily.
And what runs the world that we live in, Nate?
Well, money is what I learned from your e-book.
That's right.
That's what I taught you.
Yeah.
You're about to release.
That's very short, by the way.
Oh, it's a pamphlet.
Way too expensive.
But it's hella expensive.
It's a $2,000 pamphlet that will change your perspective on this existence.
Made in Canva.
Yeah.
Don't not Canva.
So, speaking of books and pamphlets.
Well, wait.
We need to describe at the party.
You're dancing around the...
Oh, yeah.
At the party.
So we both show up.
Some people put a lot of effort into it.
And by the way, those people also got a little too close to the boundary, I
thought.
Yeah.
Where I was like, if I was a child, I would be confused by this, whatever, the
girl version
of Woody in Toy Story that Molly was.
But I would say you didn't even get close to the boundary.
Okay.
This is what I want to bring up because I immediately get there.
Nate's wearing a white shirt, slightly white pants, white shoes, and sunglasses.
And he sees me, who's wearing a black shirt, brown pants, black shoes, and a
pink hat, and
says, I didn't put any effort into it.
And I'm looking at you like, why don't you look in a mirror, dude, and stop
throwing out
these accusations.
I was clearly poomba.
I just wanted to have a good time, too.
That is the thing.
I know.
I was out at a friend's party.
I just wanted to cut loose.
And all of a sudden, you're bringing drama up in this piece, dude.
I was respectful of your costume.
I came into that with respect.
And you came in disrespectful off the bat.
What the fuck are you?
Clearly, the pink is for his nose and tongue.
Pink mouth.
Pumbaa got an especially pink mouth, from what I remember.
Oops.
And I didn't have a brown shirt, so I wore black, which would serve as his hair.
He had black hair.
Brown for his body.
And black for his black hooves.
So, to me, it makes extra sense.
Yeah.
It is funny, because I barely tried, too.
I was Eve from Wall-E, so I barely tried as well.
Probably put in the equal amount of effort into the costume, but I was just ragging
on you
for what you did.
And I actually want to apologize right now.
And you're surprised by that, aren't you?
You're surprised by that.
Yeah, literally, I was tuning out, because I was just, you know, ready for you
to blow
right past your mistake, what you did to me.
But, yeah, thank you.
I'm just going to man up and just say I'm sorry.
Thank you, man.
And admit that I was fucked up and wrong about that.
And a lot of people can't even get to that point, mentally.
Oh, yeah.
They're too clouded by ego.
Forgiveness is a crazy mindset to arrive at.
To get to forgiveness sometimes is harder than climbing Mount Everest.
You know what I mean?
Forgiveness Mountain.
Wow.
If I could forgive, I would, but I don't have that.
That's just not in me, being a forgive.
I've never forgiven anyone.
I know.
I know that.
It's just not something we do in my family.
But, you know, I don't think animals can forgive.
Could an animal forgive?
An animal could forgive?
No.
No.
No.
They don't have any concept of...
Grudges.
Yeah, they don't.
They don't even...
No.
Except for crows.
Crows, remember?
Well, crows are different, man.
They're basically humans, I think.
I think they're as smart as humans, but they're just trapped in a dumb body.
You know what I'm saying?
We have smart bodies.
But they wish that...
If they had thumbs, they'd be, you know, making Dubai-type cities.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
If they had quads...
You would not want to fuck with a crow with a thumb.
Oh, hell no.
No, you wouldn't.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Man.
Well, we're talking about books today.
How have we not...
I was saying, how have we not talked about...
Are you sure we haven't had a whole episode on this, on books?
We might have.
If we have, this is called books, a revisitation.
Okay.
So, for those who don't, let's go back to the...
This is what I like to do with these topics.
Let's go back to the beginning, right?
Right.
Because in the beginning, we didn't even have vocal cords, okay?
Or if we did, they were so rudimentary that you could barely make good sounds.
It was just grunts and screams.
And then the vocal cords develop, uh-oh, and our brains develop, too.
And we're able to start forming words.
And through those words, we start telling...
Stories.
Stories.
That's right.
Oftentimes, around a fire.
Sometimes, on a hunt for a mammoth or whatever.
And then, eventually, we figured out, yo, we could write down these...
We could tell even more crazier stories if we could remember the beginnings and
middles by...
Can I stop you right there?
Yeah, sure, sure.
Something tells me if we were...
If you were on an ancient hunt, you would kind of weigh down the hunt, you know?
Like, you would...
I'd probably, like, immediately get a tummy ache.
Sorry, guys.
I got to go back to the camp where all the ladies are.
Something tells me you were dead weight in the hunt.
In the hunt.
Ancient.
Ancient style hunt.
You were just chilling.
Making too many noises.
Yeah.
It's possible.
I don't know.
Who do you...
Do you think you would have been an amazing hunter?
I think you would have been bait.
I think I...
Yeah, I think I would have, but...
I don't know.
I feel like a lot of men would think that they would be a great hunter.
I'd like to see you throwing a spear.
I would go no weapons out in the field.
And I would...
Try to choke out the mammoth with your hands?
I would choke out the alpha male, you know, saber tooth.
And I'd, like, get it all riled up.
And I would go one-on-one with that shit and respect it.
Because we use tools to hunt animals.
That's not fair.
I know, dude.
Well, I want that to stop now.
If you're going to eat an animal, you got to take it out just with what God
gave you.
If you choke out a lion, like, one of those animals that people are, like,
pissed off that you hunt.
Uh-huh.
If you kill that shit with your bare hands, go ahead.
Take it.
Yeah, go for it.
You know?
Literally.
Go for it.
But by the way, let's see if you can.
Right, right.
I feel that, like, if I were to do that to a tiger or a lion or something, here's
the problem with me.
Oh, there's Muffy.
Here's the problem with me.
Those damn things are so cute that the minute I tackle that thing and I get my
body wrapped around it, I'm kissing it on the head.
I'm kissing it on the ears.
I'm petting it.
I'm like, you know what I mean?
I don't think, even if it was trying to bite me.
I think you would have been dead weight and you would have been, and in your
past life, you were, like, mauled by many different animals that had, because
you thought they were cute and, but they just wanted to harm you and attack you.
Like the grizzly man, that documentary.
Yeah, I remember that.
Poor grizzly man.
Jesus Christ.
So, what we're saying is that, what's going on?
Am I being FaceTimed?
Hello?
Hello?
Something very crazy just happened.
I don't know.
I don't understand what my phone's doing.
Jesus Christ.
What we're saying is that, what were small stories, just told between people,
eventually were written down into word form, right?
Now, at the beginning, they were just doing maybe a page, right?
Right.
Okay, here's the story, beginning, middle, and end.
Or a tablet.
A tablet, right.
There were pages back then, yeah.
And that shit was hard to carve, but eventually they became knowledgeable about
ink, different inks.
And I wish I could have been there for that, to see when they first discovered
ink.
But before they had to like, they had to like use a hammer.
Chisel.
Like, where's your hieroglyphs per minute?
Like, there was.
Right.
It must have t