Name: 91: Shewz
Uploaded: 2024-10-28T11:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '91: Shewz' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-28. Transcript available. Try walking a mile while holding someone else's shoes.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '91: Shewz' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-28. Transcript available. Try walking a mile while holding someone else's shoes.

91: Shewz

Imagine having a sexual photo contest with models.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait. I know it's a publicist.
You go first, and then I'll go.
Alright.
Joy Tactics.
Oh, oh, oh.
So, we, oh, you guys just cracked the Lagunitas, what is that?
A little something, something, something.
And Nate, do you want to explain why you're not cracking one with us?
I would love to.
So, Jack and Eric are choosing to drink heavily today and eat a lot of
different types of horrible food and destroy their gut microbiome.
Me, on the other hand, I am currently rebuilding my gut microbiome and full
body healing through a, what I'm on now, a three-day water fast.
Wow.
Three days, no food, just water and salt and Perrier and flavored, I don't know
if sparkling water is bad for you and during this time, but I have been
drinking that.
I just want to call out, something's happened, right, to Perrier.
It wasn't always Maison Perrier.
It used to just be called Perrier.
I wonder what the hell.
Remember the.
The switch.
Where is Maison, dude?
France, of course.
God damn it, man.
I'm suspicious.
It's always them.
The French people, if they were allowed to make the laws, it would be legal to
slice people's fucking throats open with a knife.
You're right.
None of us are French.
That's why I'm cool with it, with everybody.
Now, Nate, you haven't eaten in three days.
In order to heal your back pain that you got from arm wrestling on the Patreon
episode last week.
We did.
Now, last night.
My life is so pathetic, just on paper.
By the way, you need to stop giving in to your gut microbiome and take control
of your life.
I'm waging a war against my gut microbiome.
I know who you are.
I don't let it dictate the pace.
It's a guest in my body.
It has a lease.
My body is, some bodies is a temple.
People say their body is a temple.
My body is an apartment complex.
And the fucking gut microbiome, they're about to get evicted.
Yeah.
I'm throwing crazy shit in there every day.
Yesterday, I threw in sweet tart chewies.
What's that?
And I was thinking, I can't believe I'm eating this shit, but it's so delicious.
They're small candies.
Jack had a legendary terror last night.
He had a 40.
I kind of peer pressured you to get a 40 ounce of Modelo.
And you got Twizzlers, Nerd Gummy Clusters.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, I did not get that.
A bag of Asian style chips.
It's very funny.
The reality is I had some, I had a T-bone steak that I basted myself at home
right after
my cold plunge.
And then I had some Talisker whiskey, scotch.
I only drink scotch.
And then...
Some elk jerky.
Yeah, elk jerky.
And then I've been sleeping for 16 hours.
Avocado with some salt on it.
A little honey.
We had avocado dip today.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, why did...
I don't want to spoil that story yet.
But yeah, we went to lunch today with my mom.
What did you guys do?
You guys have been withholding information from me, which I don't fucking
appreciate.
You guys went somewhere?
I just have a thought that I need to finish by that.
I feel like, quickly, candy and beer is the most cursed combination on the
planet.
If you're eating candy and drinking beer at the same time...
It does not feel good.
Something is wrong.
And sometimes they combine them in them little hurricane fucking drinks that
they have at
like the Cheesecake Factory.
We get the blue drink.
You know what I'm saying?
That's candy and alcohol.
But that's...
Candy and liquor is different.
Candy and liquor.
That's New Year's Eve.
It is.
That's Halloween parties.
But candy and beer, there's something our bodies don't want to digest those
together.
I don't feel so good.
Last night, I had basically a family-size pack of Twizzlers to myself while I
was having
a 40-ounce samadillo after, by the way, selling out a 75-seat theater album.
Yep.
Barely 33 years old.
And it's just like that.
Yeah, that's right.
And I hooked it up with Nate, by the way.
Yeah.
That was a fun show, man.
And you fell off the stage at one point.
I did.
That's cool.
But it's all good.
But here's the deal, okay?
Me and Jack, I've been working late this week, and Jack's been in town, so I
haven't really
been able to chill with him.
So I said, hey, my mom's coming to town tomorrow.
Why don't you come to the airport with me in the morning so we can have more
time to chill?
And so that's what we did.
We drove to LAX.
Why are you so mad, dude?
Because we're tired of explaining ourselves to you, man.
For the 10th time.
You're so controlling, dude.
We wanted to spend more time together, dude.
Oh, well, but meanwhile, I don't, yeah.
I actually don't have anything to say.
I am controlling you guys monetarily.
Behind the scenes, it is just ruthless what I'm doing to you guys.
It's just emotional control.
It's not cool, man.
It's okay.
I already forgave you.
Making me get out.
It's still happening.
I'm already forgiving you, so I can't be mad at myself for being in this
situation.
But I have to.
I have to do this.
Forgive and learn.
Instead of forgive and forget, forgive and find out.
Forgive and grow.
Fuck around and forgive and find out.
Fuck around and find out and forgive.
We have too much to discuss is what I'm thinking.
I know there's so much I need to say.
Imagine this.
Can I just drop one thing real quick that I think would be, there's so many
things.
I feel like we have, but one thing I think we need to do is, Jack, you were
playing this
in my car last night, a rap battle, okay?
And you said that this is like your whole childhood, you were just rap battling.
And I apologize for putting you on the spot like this, but if you could like,
if I were
to come up to you in a rap battle, like what would you, like, could you do a
rap battle
like this to me?
I don't like that this isn't the Patreon episode, but yeah, I could.
I could say something that would ruin you, man.
You can go as hard as you want on me.
I feel like people need to know about the World Rap Championship, WRC 07.
Right, this is crazy, dude.
If you don't know about the World Rap Championship, two on two, look up Thesaurus
and Immaculate
versus Dumbfouted and Satire, No Can Do.
All these people are legends.
His name's Thesaurus?
Thesaurus is just about one of the best freestyle rappers in the world.
You went up in a rap battle against a guy named Thesaurus?
Yo, back up.
You're fucking king of the dot.
You are done, dude.
The thing is, it's a very small amount of people who know about these things,
but if I ask somebody,
have you heard of the World Rap Championships or King of the Dot, and they say
yes, we need
to say no more.
I know exactly where you grew up.
I know what food you had in the house growing up.
Was Eminem a part of this at all?
He was in Scribble Jam, which was like a larger freestyle festival.
I heard rappers coming out of this circuit, dude.
It's crazy.
What?
Out of the rap battle circuit.
Because, dude, I can answer that really quickly for you.
People now value image and the party lifestyle and drinking and violence over
actual craft.
And so we lost out, I mean.
It's interesting that Eminem was the last one.
We still got.
Barely.
We barely got him.
Is that a rapper?
Bro.
Bro.
Nate, you are such a herb.
You are an absolute herb if you don't know who Atmosphere is.
Dude, I don't need this shit.
When you listen to Kendrick like I do, you don't need that.
Oh, please.
I haven't listened to his lyrics yet.
I've listened to all of his instrumentals, and I'm imagining what it is.
All right.
I'm rocking that shit.
Damn.
But, yeah.
If I was singing in the morning, that's my ringtone and my alarm to get up.
There's just something pathetic about listening to Kendrick and, like, doing
anything.
Eric.
What did you say?
Eric.
If you're in the gym and you're listening to fucking the untitled 008.
Well, I like that.
I mean, I like it.
The whole damn back-to-back.
Well, damn.
I like her.
Yeah.
I love it.
What is it?
Good kid, Mad City.
Yeah.
That's pathetic.
No, no.
Anything to listen to?
I just.
Eric, drop and give somebody 20 right now.
I'm going to give.
20 signs of respect.
Well, I'll give it out.
I'll just own it up to it right now.
It was a mistake to say that out loud, but it is what.
What did you say?
Anybody who listens to Kendrick Lamar is pathetic.
What did you say?
He said listening to Kendrick Lamar while doing anything is pathetic.
Wait a minute.
Now, this is where I think me and Nate can apologize because what you're saying
is.
Please, please start.
I'm sorry.
Because what you're saying is to do anything other than sit down, pen and paper,
and take
notes on what he could possibly be theorizing.
If you're doing dishes, if you're driving.
Yes.
You're not paying attention.
You're not in the zone with it.
And can I say this?
You might want to listen to Kendrick while drinking.
Sure.
It sounds amazing.
It's unbelievable.
You might want to listen to him while you're off the edible, smoking weed,
whatever like
that.
It sounds good in its own way.
The most powerful way to listen to Kendrick is 30 days sober, 20 days fasted,
which is
actually the real reason as to why Nate's fasting right now is to understand a
good kid, Mad
City, a little bit better.
Yeah.
He's doing a feature for Pitchfork.
Poetic justice, I need to fucking just really get down to what that really is.
Yeah.
Because I can't figure it out in this state that I am currently.
No, right.
Shout out, rap.
Shout out to Nate.
So, I don't know.
I don't want to move on from thinking of the rap that I would get you with.
Do you want to do it or not?
Just hit one bar.
I'm just saying, you don't have to do it if you don't want to.
I'm not going to do it.
I don't want to fucking make you do this.
I'm not going to.
I want you to know now.
I'm not going to.
All right, cool.
Then that's fine.
There's the idea of doing that publicly is actually fucked up that you'd say
that because
that's not what.
That's such an intimate.
It's almost like, yo, do you want to get married in a photo booth?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's not what freestyling is about.
What's it about?
So, ask me.
Why don't you ask me in our real life, our real life, in our personal
friendship.
We don't talk in real life, man.
We went to the hot tub yesterday.
Why wouldn't you talk back?
I'm sitting there saying, yo, Nate.
Nate Verone, his thing's hard as bone.
Oh, see, that's a thank call version of a diss.
You know what I'm saying?
Build somebody up.
Man, you're such an amazing friend.
I love you to the end.
I eat like raisinets.
Ooh.
Marionettes.
Marionettes.
Pulling the string like a marionette.
Six little bugs on my head.
Dancing on my head.
Are you wanting us to finish the rap?
No, I died.
If you like this, you're going to like this hilarious movie that just dropped
on YouTube.
It's insane.
Oh, yeah.
Why the fuck aren't we pimping that shit?
I mean.
Jesus.
Rap World's out on YouTube right now.
Because the way that we release media is like this.
We fucking light a fucking building on fire.
We blow it up with C4.
And we walk away without looking.
And we never look back.
That's how I create projects and work on media and different shows and movies.
A lot of people like to stay in the building and watch it burn, you know, for
better or worse.
Not me.
I like to get the hell out of there.
Next.
Well, it's because you have an understanding of the finish line.
Everybody's going to die.
And the fact that you would do something and just sit and wait instead of
keeping moving.
Because you realize you're about to have to jump over another hurdle.
So, if you're going to jump over a hurdle, you're on the treadmill already and
the next one's coming.
It's coming down the track.
You're not going to turn around and focus.
Imagine you're walking down.
All right, Nate.
Imagine you're in a strip club.
Okay.
Why can I imagine that so vividly?
Why have I seen Nate in a strip club before in 2014?
We do