Name: Violent Tendencies | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 95
Uploaded: 2024-11-25T13:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Violent Tendencies | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 95' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Violent Tendencies | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 95' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Violent Tendencies | Joy Tactics Podcast | Ep. 95

because a rage room is just all physical you're like a fucking beat up car you're
breaking bottles
off of that but you need somebody that you can just that's in a room that looks
kind of pathetic
that you can just like fucking just dunk on and call them all types of names
and why do you think
that i started this podcast and why do you think i started why do you think i
started the emotionally
tough mutters welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things joyful
joyous and meeting
as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rayhill nate veroni and
jack bensinger enjoy
you don't want to mess with us right but before we begin and we need to address
the fact that
ellen degeneres is moving to the uk after a long and amazing career in the
united states she has been
bullied into leaving america for the shores of britain and i just want to say
this is a disgrace
we have shamed the wrong one there are people that we need to hold accountable
and get out of the
industry this woman was set up okay she did not deserve any of the vitriol that
she received
she kept your your grandma your mom everybody in hospitals company on daytime
tv for just about 20 years
and this is how you treat her she makes one little misstep and she's all of a
sudden a disney villain
so she was legally deported for her violent behavior to her staff was taken
through the ringer to the
supreme court in handcuffs and feet cuffs and they wheeled her in like hannibal
lecter and then they
shipped her ass to britain and they shot her on the way out all i want to say
is if you think that's bad
wait till i get a couple of employees if you think that's fucking cancelable
all right just wait till
i get a staff give me literally one person to work under me and see what
happens give me 50 college
kids and see if i don't make them uh be a little upset with me for how i
treated them yeah the work
environment will be toxic but the daytime talk show the product go yeah you're
gonna yeah they better
not look me in the eyes in the hallway you have to earn to look into my eyes
smacking them in the fucking face with crushed cans of celsius
i'm not wearing things you make eye contact with them a little little treat
five seconds of eye contact
on the birthdays hey aaron come here
it's not my birthday mr verone oh what the
fuck then oh hell no forget what you just saw
i thought you were gonna say that ellen degeneres was moving to the uk because
of the
life-altering election which just occurred and she said you know what i'm done
i'm me tooing the
whole continent well wouldn't blame you girl wouldn't blame you and if i had
that type of
money yeah trust trust me i'd be headed for oh i'd be grabbing myself throwing
throwing myself by
the p-word over the whole pond oh by the p-word i'd be grabbing myself by the
pussy
wet ass pond and dragging myself i'd be dragging myself by the p-word over the
pond into the uk
or anywhere that would have me because you're basically wearing a scarlet an
orange scarlet letter
anywhere else you go in the fucking world after what's happened to us in the
electoral process or
should i say the electoral scamming font fucking email the fake fake tan cheeto
and crescent scarlet
scarlet style tea on our backs as americans now hell nah hell nah ellen we miss
you we love you if you could
just even start doing a radio show something to just even hear your voice in
these times
this is i get what you're going through but this is not a time to hide this is
a time to unite as
liberals this is a time to galvanize to come together come show up as a front
line to
the dementors that are starting to take over our government and check out
channel four while you're over
there hilarious something right channel four doing it up doing it right just
sketch show with them
and do you think ellen degenerous will be there during our show on january 10th
it's is that a
possibility it's very possible because i think she's looking to develop a
stable of talent now that she's
out of the limelight she's looking to be a cuz the motto to a new that was mike
tyson's uh coach as
we okay i didn't know what who that was thank you she's looking to be because
the motto to us in the
improv ring we start doing improv she's coming in there smacking us she wants
to work she wants to
to start working her magic with yeah yeah we get knocked out in one scene we
get wiped in a scene
of improv we come off stage panting fucking she's putting like dabbing our
forehead with a washcloth
giving us electro lit telling us the type of references we need to make in the
next scene
whoops guess what you just thought of an amazing sketch to pitch independently
freelance to saturday
night live yeah oh shit yeah i mean here's the thing here's the thing i'll say
is idea we all know
this ideas don't really come from us there's a network of ideas floating above
our head and they
pitch they pick vessels uh to be channeled through and if you are open and
willing it's possible you're
the right vessel and that idea is going to come through you but if you don't
seize on that idea
guess what that idea is going to the next fool down the road who's open and
willing to be a channel
so are you saying that we're just conduits for i've been saying that for years
i've been saying that
and screaming that for years no one's wanted to listen but you need to be
careful because you don't
want to let just anybody dock at your station because some of these neurons
that are trying to come into
you through the ideas universe yeah they're violent i'll say it and if you let
them come into your
body and take over your limbs you don't want to end up like one of those jones
town guys i hate to say
that's so you need to be very picky so because they're so there are ways to
open your mind which is
things i've never tried like sativa and indica i won't say i've never tried
people say that they
could shit like that could help open your mind that's what i've heard through
studies and then
there's ssris which help close your mind right do they have like a different
strands of dmt you know
like an indica dmt where you're just kind of like that's nice you're just
chilling you're about to fall
asleep like and just oh you mean rmt you get different types of machine elves
depending on the strain
yeah yeah yeah like you have a working class dmt machine elves it's called the
mechanic elf
oh yeah the mechanic elf i want the violent ones to bring it back to welcome to
the violent tendencies
episode everybody tendencies we are talking about violence today on the podcast
welcome if you're
a first time listener welcome if you're listening to the show from the very
beginning we love you too
as well if you're a last time listener good riddance good luck oh goodbye see
you anyway nice knowing
for thanks for thanks for watching i don't give a fuck about these people that
are if this is the
last one that's that's violence for you i'll just say this about violence they
say talk talk and write
about what you know right okay okay so i'm ready let's just say i'm ready to
talk about violence
because i know the shit in my bones this is a side of the human nature that i
understand
very well and i was uh exceptionally skilled at at a young age i feel like eric
if you got into a fight
you would be like squaring up for too long you know like like there would be
too long of a period
before the actual fight went down where you're just like just kind of well that's
what you think but
you've never seen me in a fight or flight situation other than when i'm having
a panic attack and i'm
driving and that's usually flight but you've never seen me engage in the fight
mode have you
i have not and uh and i i something tells me that would be a very scary thing
to witness
well then just wait till i go to a stand-up show where a stand-up disrespects
women on stage
i'm up on that thing immediately pete davidson's going off on women's rights
and guess what he's gonna
smack
i got a smack i had gotten to a small smacking altercation at a improv show
when i was 18.
have i talked about this i think you told me about it i don't think you told
the listeners yet
i remember hearing about this but i don't know if you've said this publicly
well i'll say it publicly then
some damn fool uh was mad at me in an improv show because i didn't know
the song take on me and he was probably 37 38 i was 18.
and this is that comedy sports right that comedy sports this is like if you don't
know that's kind
of like in virginia i don't know i don't want to say it the word that comes to
my mind is like
it's like hacky but i don't want to disrespect all the comedy sports um people
that are doing this
on the weekend to you haven't seen so comedy sports in chicago was like musical
theater people
most it felt like like it kind of had this theater vibe
i would say the one at this mall in virginia
felt like mostly government contractors
that's what i'm saying like we're not allowed to do music musical style
games we're banned uh because there was so little musical talent this is true
um
and doing this to delay like a divorce you know like they need something to
like
shake off their home life you know so they go on stage they they dresses up
dress up as a referee
and they do short form that's why we all do it yeah yeah but one time this guy
smacked me while i was on
stage and it was not called for and i smacked his ass right back and it was
it must be one of the most intense moments to be doing fucking improv and have
somebody like for
real fucking start a fight with you uh that is a funny feeling that i'll
remember for the rest of my
life and he said fair enough it sickens me because there are places in this
world where violence
should not be allowed churches schools uh
that's about the gyms these are safe spaces and so are improv theaters in my
mind so if you're coming
up in there because people go to these places to escape they're you know what i
call mine sanctuaries
you know what i call a safe space sorry sorry did i interrupt no you didn't you
didn't all right
good no i think that's what i thought no that's what i thought he said i didn't
think you did so
that's what i thought so no all right all right chill chill chill chill chill a
safe space you mean
a space of vulnerability a space where i can get you more easily because if you
a space where your guard
is down mm-hmm uh-huh you know you see a sign that says no communion and you
smack the priest uh-huh
because that's where they don't see it coming a ufc gym don't worry about it i'm
not trying to be
violent there because they're all violent i'm not but however right take me
into the dunkin donuts
take me into the brooks brothers yeah now i'm gonna feel now you all think you're
safe here
you've just that's when i start hitting the tasmanian level morning dunkin
donuts then brooks
brothers brooks brothers then the mma gym mma gym court court rescheduled for
two weeks later
i got court at two but before then dunkin donuts brooks brothers
um yeah violence is interesting man i'll just say that what's curious about
violence to me is that
this is baked into our brains it's baked into our blood it's how we dominated
the rest of the animal world
it's how we dominated all those other uh humanoid style what do you call them
neanderthals
neanderthal style people lowered hominid laura yeah hominids is actually always
the word i'm seeking
and so we try to say we like to read books uh we like to read a court of thorn
and roses whatever
we like to read artemis fowl and all this and drink some english breakfast tea
with the youtube
classical music channel on that's all pretend we're fooling ourselves if if
that's who we think we are now
because really we like to throw rocks we like to have doggy style and we like
to eat meat that is what
is in our bones and blood you see what i'm saying i i would like to say that we
are in an
we are prisoners to our evolutionary dna i've been telling you that for years
well you just 