Name: The Last Thanksgiving (teaser)
Uploaded: 2024-11-28T12:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Last Thanksgiving (teaser)' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Last Thanksgiving (teaser)' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-28. Transcript available.

joy tactics uh i don't know how else to say this other than i'm expecting some
congratulations
there's something i've been holding from you guys that is good news you are
growing the goatee back
out that i am doing that i can't say that it's for a part but uh yeah let's
just say uh they're
alexander ovechkin origin story that's a that's a hockey player sorry i'm a got
you i'm a later in
life artist but mostly a sports guy what i was gonna say is though dude i got a
dm from fuck jerry
they're going to be paying me 50 dollars to post my tweet on thanksgiving about
the motherfucking
turkey on the airplane again yeah oh yeah fuck stop drop gotta get we gotta get
the fat jewish back
on here remember him oh we gotta get him the fat jewish would you just call me
no man this you're the
skinny christian the skinny fat the skinny fat atheist i'd read a children's
book called the
skinny fat atheist the beard is the beard is looking facial hair is looking
really good on you guys right
now i just have to compliment that i just have to say that i never say stuff
like that are you fishing
right now no because i i don't like the way that my beard is now i don't have
control over it because
i'm in a television production i have no control over how i look i've been
trying to lose weight and
get fucking fit whatever but they are saying you can't do that you have to stay
the exact we hired
you at this rate i'll say this shit is fucked up and i'm worried about your
mental health on the i just
don't be dude there's just enough i can't help you man i'm an emperor empath
rather and stop worrying
about me i wish i could man i wish i could stop worrying i wish i could but
when i see that the
production is you're trying to sleep and somebody from productions sneaks in
your house and puts a
soylent in your c-pat machine
high fructose uh corn syrup mist into the c-pat machine just a steady stream of
calories
sneaking avocado oil avocado oil in the vape hell nah hell no enough is enough
you're being controlled
right now eric every part of your life trust me i know the puppet strings the
boats of the puppeteers
have full control over you every single move that you make you are not in
control how does that feel
man well would it scare you to know that the puppet even the puppeteers have
puppet masters
and it's an endless fucking string it's a ladder of people and executives on
holding puppeteering each
other with and guess what i'm not even at the bottom i'm puppeteering all the
crew and all the pas
that sounds like the worst painting ever the marketing team
that's such a good new uh hey everybody so with the recent diagnosis that i got
i'm gonna
finally reveal my uh artwork i've been working on it's a nine inch by nine inch
oil painting
it's so small depicting the uh depicting the chain of control what do you call
that
the pyramid the hierarchy of hollywood everybody thought it was a co-op it's
not it's not it's trump and
biden being puppeteered by a guy in a v for vendetta mask well here's oh all
oil or actually all colored
pencil what is the actual chain so it's eric ray hills right here below you is
the second second ac
okay well below me is really nobody i didn't mean to say the crews you know i'm
saying i'm on a level
playing field with everybody okay what and what's their what's their salary and
what's yours man
i don't want to get into this i just mean that i love everyone that is a true
worker when i was on
tuning out the news nate as well you were a part of this we had a group where
we said hey everybody
i'm sending an email out congratulations and other seasons about to start up um
everybody who's down
we're going to pull all of our earnings into uh one pot into one bank account
and we're going to
evenly distribute it at the end of the uh at the end of every two weeks and we'll
judge you if you don't
join just that is what it is we see who joins and who doesn't nate didn't and i
controlled the bank
account so there are looking into that but that's how we actually take control
of the future you realize
instead of all i realize that i've been trying to get that going i've been i've
been the ones
try at the end of every shoot day being like hey i want to talk to you guys
about something whatever
everybody's too busy um just going along with how it always has been done
people are blind you see what i'm
saying of course blind two things that could really help them out so it makes
yeah and i'd like to make
you aware of this phrase the blind leading the blind that's ableist uh yeah the
blindly just an
interesting quote that you mean blind people having autonomy that's what that
says to me dude
because i don't see that as a disability i see that as a way of life
do you ever think that maybe seeing is a is a distraction that's the disability
because now
you fuck um yeah you're you're easily distracted by capitalist broadcasting
every time you're on the
highway you don't even realize that you're seeing big titties and pepsi cola
trying to get you to buy some of that blind people are outside of capitalism
titties and pepsi cola
wow you're north stars by the way pathetic yeah
who is above okay so it goes nbc nbc universal comcast
and then it that's where it starts to get fun because now it's vanguard i'm
gonna stop you right
there i see where you're going with this question i see where you're leading
with this question i can
see it just it's about a minute away you're gonna get to some stuff that i just
cannot talk about
so i'd advise you to stop now if you want to continue the joy tactics patreon
podcast episode
you will you will you will pay for your sins here and now i'm paying for them i've
already paid for
their life oh i'm paying double you're taking out a loan on sins well i've
taken out on a burden
for all my friends and all you guys i'm paying for you guys's shit because i
don't want you guys to
suffer it's my gift to you guys every every birthday every christmas i send i
send you a note
that says i've taken on your burdens yeah but we'd love a gift at some point
you know it's not
happening dude i don't give love in that that's not my love language okay and
the minute that you
understand that's not your love language is carrying the burden unnecessarily
mi idioma de amor es c s k
es espanol
it's true we're talking about what are we talking about today thanksgiving of
course it's the i don't
remember today is thanksgiving um if you're listening on the day that this
drops we recorded
this on thanksgiving in 2023 the last american thanksgiving ever to be at all
at least as how
we've known it you know what i'm saying right the last traditional thanksgiving
yep so this is an
important one just in terms of getting together with your family and having
those hard conversations
because there might not be another time where you're gonna have these these
types of conversations and
why can't we talk anymore why can't we have discussions about different sorts
of topics why
can't we argue with one another why can't we disagree
anymore i think it's obvious i think it's obvious
well that was a rhetorical question but oh i get i get what you're saying no it's
not obvious to me
it's not all right let's move on let's move on no if you have if you have um
republican
relatives if you can even call them relatives anymore i would call them adversaries
in thought until adversary mental adversaries for now they're about to become
physical adversaries
when we when we start the liberal civil war that's right and by the way we're
gonna be the top
generals in that fucking army they're very cocky because oh we have all the
guns we have all the
guns oh yeah well we have all the grids we have we have something called html
hacking abilities
and hdmi adapters hdmi to usbc adapters and we're gonna strangle you with them
things we're gonna
strangle ourselves with them things and then you're not gonna be able to find
us right and we're not
gonna tell you how to make advil does the word lisa strada ring a bell to all
the joy tactics
fellas out there who might have a republican bride or a girlfriend stop giving
it until they vote blue
stop giving them your thang that's called a sex strike yes called a sexual
strike stop it now all
the men i do a sex strike minus oral if that were to happen i would be the
person banging on the
fucking congress's door man what the fuck