Name: UK Volume 1 - popped tires, physically and mentally unwell [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-01-09T08:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'UK Volume 1 - popped tires, physically and mentally unwell [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'UK Volume 1 - popped tires, physically and mentally unwell [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-09. Transcript available.

joy tactics jesus so we are reporting to you live our first podcast overseas
our first podcast in
full crisis i would say yeah we didn't make it long let's say well let's let's
lead up to this
before we say what's going on maybe okay so we get to the airport some might
say i was sick
immediately and have been sick so far this trip yeah then we didn't let that
stop us literally we
didn't we and now currently um i believe myself and eric are coming down with
this sickness has
transferred to us yeah somehow which medically is that we didn't let that stop
us we literally
didn't no we didn't we went about our day in fact we were up at 4 a.m oh yeah
um eric i was up at 2
i am eric watching the golden globes recaps congratulations everybody and i
somehow
immediately bodied the uh what's it called the when you sleep different in a
different time zone
jet lag uh fix immediately bodied it went to sleep at um what uh midnight woke
up at basically 10 a.m
and let's just get to the chase why are we what's our current situation right
now current situation is
this we were on the scariest road i've ever seen in scotland very very narrow
anybody this could
happen to anybody i'm driving it's if you're confused i'm driving on the on the
right side
that's how they do it over here and basically by no fault of my own
i completely i had a very extremely sharp rock and pop both tires on the left
hand side
and we are now i think it was actually a series of rocks
why do they got the rocks on the side there there's about four just pointy
rocks
that were just why would they do that i know in case insurance companies are
watching this trying to
charge us an arm and a leg for what just happened to us right well this is a
patreon episode well
the first of all thank you for rocking with us
if six rental as a corporation has subscribed to the patreon yeah thanks for
riding with us i
openly admitted it to the customer service you idiot no i'm not an idiot you
deny
good god so yeah tires are pop there's a small scratch on the side um i'm
basically dealing with
the worst thing i've ever gone through right now and we kind of couldn't be we
couldn't be more in
the middle of nowhere it's like we are in we're on a lake middle of fucking in
the middle of scotland
we went there's about a 30 minute drive from the sauna we were just at to the
other side of the lake
somehow that's a 30 minute drive and yet we call it a lake it's probably four
minutes into the drive
this happened no no no because i would say we're basically dead in the middle
because we if it was
only four minutes in i'd say oh let's walk back to the sauna and go get dinner
there right
should we do that no we're hella that would take hours i think it would
probably take two hours
two block yeah i said hours all right good for you man i have to be and here's
the thing i have to be
very graceful right now because i caused this for you guys and thank you thank
you guys i apologize
profusely you started crying sorry i feel like i'm in a movie this whole trip
has felt like a movie
and i just want to say if i was writing this movie it's going to start getting
very fun very soon
oh you think the fun starts when as soon as it's night time the car is dead and
you're in the middle
of nowhere and it's dark out that's when somebody comes popping out of the
woods and goes come with
me you think it's going to be scary right but then and you go starts clinking
two don julio bottles
hello have you lost a tire i and by the way two cars have pulled uh pulled by
us no one stopped nobody
helped us no one even said there's y'all right mates y'all right i'd like to
remind everybody of a
ancient story called the good samaritan are you familiar with me yeah i know
based my life on it
and where that what happened to the good samaritans
is the the overhead light torturing you it's torturing me man with my life
institutes
the video quality on this is just completely just no it's a night time story
not non-existent
at this point i'm lit beautifully beautifully in the back seat i know jack you
look amazing right
now thanks nate i'm nervous that this guy isn't going to call is what is
frankly what i'm nervous
about and i'll be just be honest i'm nervous that my hand just get raw just get
raw as i've ever been
on the podcast i'm nervous because my hand is basically moving very slowly
probably because
it was outside in the cold trying to figure out what the tire sizes were you
also just got the
tire sizes mate i don't that was mental that was mental yeah of course he was
like look at the
jack said it the best he was like it should be call up the rental place where
are you okay good
we'll be right there because they know what kind of car you rent i know they
know what type of
universal every tire fits on any fucking car let's go get over you know what's
funny is everybody
this is so funny to me the uber drivers all of them said oh you're going up
north are you
you're gonna want to have your winter tires on a lot you're gonna want to have
your summer tires
on a lot not the summer tires it's snowing you know did you see the news you
know guess what
what do they say bullock what do they say guess what uh brother insults guess
what bellend there
you go guess what bellends there's no fucking snow up here but they don't make
tires to drive over a
simple rock rock shaped like car like a nail by the local psychopath to go over
a pointy a super sharp
bro rock that was just we'll take the macbook out at the end of this and show
you guys the rocks
because bro should i just go get one this we should get one of those rocks
bring it in here
and pee on it like in that fucking video yo you want to pee on it man let's pee
on it you know what
frankly i did do that the first thing i did is i went and i peed on it that's
true i peed on a rock
over here that had nothing to do with it that's the anger that i was feeling i
just wanted to get the
rage out that rage literally this does feel like a24 style you see what i mean
well there's a four
star lodge right over here i don't see any uh tenants coming out to help us
excuse me with a
lantern that's what they would have done in the old days thankfully we're all
sleep deprived and
sick and hungry but i do think it's funny that we're and curious because there's
been nothing and
nothing this whole drive all of a sudden the car breaks down and we're right
outside the spooky lodge
boo key it might do us a favor to go and say hello should we bring a laptop hey
yo so we're
podcasters we're from america and this is so funny to us something hilarious is
happening what other
people would find devastating we find why is there a breeze a breeze did you
feel that breeze
oh jesus christ you are having a schizophrenic sort of psychotic break wow this
would be a bad time for
the mental health to just severely decline no because we're basically at
somebody's house right now
yeah so you said this is the worst thing that's ever happened to you eric and
you you're talking
this is a person who's had a lot of parents divorce late in life damn very late
in life which means you
had nothing to do with it by the way it was barely my fault barely my phone is
dead by the way just if
anybody's wondering why i'm not dead we by the way we're just coming from a
blissed out environment
aka the sauna aka the hot box on lock tay that was beautiful we need to
actually say our actual
location right now just in case this is a we're not uploading this from here
well we could try with
the satellites well what's this place called right next to us becker beckham's
lodge it's right behind
you breckham's lodge i can't read if this goes online and it's sort of a
mysterious like the title
is like help us like we're still here it is so funny to turn around and look at
it's completely
pitch black all around us except for this one the spookiest door i've ever seen
in my life that has
one light the lights are not on inside of it it's just this complete black abyss
with a door floating
in a void and then beyond that there seems to be the lights on at some property
perhaps they would
have some you guys are impressed by how not scared i am right now you bottle
everything up though so as
far as we know you're fucking screaming banging on the doors of your mind
so i don't respect that and by the way you want to talk about ingenuity i just
um made the the
steering wheel heat up so now my hand's going to be warm again to everyone else
that was worried
hey nate wait where are y'all y'all's big ass water bottles can i ask that of
you guys
i fucking need to pour them out right before we got so we don't need extra
weight in the volvo
at some point somebody's going to need to pour that into this i told you tesco
i said how much is
that you said a dollar i said you know they sell giant ones over there for i
didn't realize that
i'd be abandoned in a third world country not that there's anything wrong with
third world countries
they call me global south back where i'm from when i'm on the court yeah at
what minute do you guys
think i should call call the place back and say yo your boy you said your boy
was gonna come thank
you come rescue us and we haven't heard a word at uh 20 minutes
20 minutes from now no 10 minutes from now right right exactly all right i'm
gonna marry the waters
for anybody who's worked in a restaurant marry them now wow okay i mean just
for reference
this this is now scaring me because i called them at 5 15 it's 5 55 bro no no
no yes but you were on
the phone yeah you were on the phone with them for a long time though for 20
minutes so all right
it's been about 20 oh jesus no one's coming no one's fucking coming