Name: The Grammy's, Dude.
Uploaded: 2025-02-06T12:01:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Grammy's, Dude.' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Grammy's, Dude.' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-06. Transcript available.

joy tactics so it's we're recording this on tuesday um on sunday night a major
event
happened in the world which was known as the grammy the american grammys
and for those of you who don't know this is a sort of ceremony where they award
musical artists
different prizes for um the the best in their categories so they award prizes
for the best
rap artist best pop best whatever um so we thought that that's what we would
basically be
chatting about today if anybody out there thinks that this is like oh this is
late news you know
happened last night it's it's less than a week ago all right it's fresh news
needs to move slower
all right we need to slow down the news exactly if we could slow down the news
we could slow down
violence we could slow down fascism if we could tune out the news some would
say have what's sad is
really a lot of people are basically slaves to the news cycle and hyper topicality
right but when you
have information opinions and statistics uh that are valuable you are not
beholden to the timing of the
news cycle we could talk right now about what what's a you know a scandal from
a year ago
tom tom sandoval the scandal ball that's right uh issue that west west um uh caleb
caleb oh dude if
you get me started on west elm caleb i will not fucking stop now if you give me
six negronis
uh a bunch of ladies to chat to i will talk about to them about west elm caleb
for a long ass time
defending his honor by the way he was slandered they should have called him
west elm wesley i'm sure
i've said that before what is the west elm scandal sounds good bro this guy was
a gaslighter a white
man a loser uh that's what they claimed at least but actually he was a hard-working
designer
at west elm who's trying to find love in new york which is notoriously
difficult watch any sitcom
watch any fucking rom-com set in new york it's very hard to find love so could
we give the guy a break
literally and get off his ass i feel like it would be easy why is it hard to
find love in new york
i've never oh this is a question i've been writing poems about for a long time
i don't and i'm not sure
that's the answer i can tell you the answer please somebody make sense of i'll
tell you i'll make
sense of it right now it's not like a bunch of loud loser single people that
don't got um that don't
have any riz just you're judging bro once again spoken like a judgmental once
again you can't stop
judging all right it's pathetic i'm trying to heal right now i challenge you
because it's not the
absence of love why is it so hard to find love in new york city one of the most
populated cities of
entrepreneurs and artists alike i'll tell you why why is it hard to find how do
i put this why is it
hard to find a ray of sunshine in a field that is illuminated by the sun
because the rays are all
around you you can't distinguish them too much brightness well how are you to
find one particle
in the ocean all right ecstasy it i'll put it like this you know how some
people try to find a
needle in a haystack sometimes by the way who's searching for that shit
somebody who cares about
their donkeys probably we're all there they don't want the donkey to step on it
oh fuck i was just
doing fucking meth up in that stack wasn't i i better go find that thing
let's just say imagine searching for a needle in a stack of needles beautiful
fucking sexy ass needles
right it's hard it's hard we digress yeah so the grammys are out the decisions
have been made
did you watch it did you watch the performances i mean the goat of the night we
all have to say
is jacob collier by the way i had no that was a person that i was like dude i
am so i am like so
tapped out of culture that i don't know i've never heard of that name i've
never seen that guy's face
before and the guy that like fucking uh looks like with the mullet and the
teddy swims yeah i mean i've
heard that fucking song but i had no fucking clue that that guy was like you're
talking about the guy
who did the flip yeah yeah yeah oh that's a different guy benson boone they
call benson yeah
yeah that guy oh these people who the are these two the two white boys like i've
never heard of them
ever these are the white boys are bringing it once again are you saying they
brought it or they left
it at home is that what are you saying well i was just i'm i'm just baffled
that i've that i'm like
i feel like i kind of you know keep up with culture and music enough to know
who the fucking big pop
stars are you know what i'm saying yeah but you're getting too old and i'm
getting too old
hilarious that's it's not you don't uh it's sad you don't find music the way
that i find music and
this is how i'm i'm the biggest fan of these people these uh benson boone and
all them because
i what i do is i watch kia sorrento commercials and i go what the fuck did i
just hear i'm sitting
in dunkin donuts at seven in the morning i go what the fuck did i just hear shazam
and then i see
the most mr boone by the way that is the worst fucking type of music is that
like this beautiful
beautiful
like shut the fuck up dude you are not a fucking pop star you you are trash
dude you know what the
problem is i'm too underground is what it is right you like i'm so underground
i can't get above
you're right you're right immortal technique yeah oh don't joke about him there
was a dude in the
sauna blaring no way yeah yeah give him my as i was trying to uh do meditation
in the sauna
nate when you're at the i i fucked up so bad yesterday i felt disgusting all
day because danny and i went to
the la canada why and um i forgot my fucking sandals and i brought a towel
there and here's what happened
i'm walking around on the fucking meningitis laden floors and then after that i
fucking dropped my
towel into the muck of the fucking showers and i'm hearing and i'm hearing guys
hawking loogies
and i saw somebody take a there was a piece of poop in one of the glendale why
just in the showers like
you don't even know what's going on in there oh god there's people busting nuts
this is the only place
do you know how many old dudes go there and like they need to get out of the
house to bust they need
they need to leave the west they live in the studio apartment in glendale with
their wife and they
there's so many guys that just go to the gym to escape unleash they don't go
there for fitness they go
there to to like be um you know not with their wife basically and they take shits
in the shower and
they bust and they fucking they don't well that's what's that's called
community by the way as well
you're putting it in a negative light but that's also called finding a
community sorry i'm so negative
today guys i know something's up i don't know what's happening we did i heard a
crazy that we were
standing in the locker room i also made a joke that went or i tried to like
relate to an older guy
i'll put it like this danny and i are in the locker room in the showers you can
hear two guys arguing
like fucking crazy like screaming and they're arguing about trans rights and
one guy you can hear one
guy going like my fucking nephew's trans and like it saved his life and you
know obviously we were all
on that side and then there's another guy a russian guy going like oh you know
like arguing against it
being all hateful i'll call him and um one guy comes up and he's like man
people are really arguing and i
was like i told him i was like i bet people have been arguing like this since
the roman times and the
roman saunas and he just looked down he didn't respond
but then you go back to the showers and the guy you see the guys arguing the russian
guy who's against
trans rights whatever he's got board shorts down to his fucking ankles
essentially and then the guy
arguing for trans rights is fully naked with his dingling waggling around as he's
like
you know what i mean yeah that's called true bravery
wait we need to stop defending it was was naked guy who's defending was naked
guy who was uh stuck in
the fucking middle ages board shorts hmm just put a metaphor metaphor for
vulnerability and i'll put it
this way the guy defending had a long ass thing uh well of course he's nothing
to prove
uh god gives his longest willies to his most vulnerable uh freedom fighters i
know i know
sorry sorry i digressed but this is no this is a good um this is a good segue
because a lot of
musicians they aren't just musicians they stand for causes for causes and they
they want to shed light
on different sorts of organizations and groups and when you give a speech yeah
you can be selfish and
thank uh the fans mom and god your mom god your family your husband whatever
your manager but the
real ones the real ones get up there and they shed light on veganism warner bro