Name: 110: Vengeance - Joy Tactics Podcast
Uploaded: 2025-03-10T11:00:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '110: Vengeance - Joy Tactics Podcast' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '110: Vengeance - Joy Tactics Podcast' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-10. Transcript available.

110: Vengeance - Joy Tactics Podcast

And today we're talking about Vengeance.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy.
We could use it. Eric, there's a possibility that we just started the podcast
without you.
No, no, no, please, no, please, please, don't say that's not true.
What'd you say?
I don't know, I don't know.
Now I can tell we've really actually started now.
Have we really? Okay, okay.
All right, well, everybody should know, by no fault of my own, yeah, I'm
fucking hungover.
And no, I don't like it. And yes, it's a social experiment.
And yes, I'm writing down my findings.
And no, I don't like being alive right now.
I'm going to start making a playlist on YouTube.
You know how we have like guests in person?
And then there's going to be another one where Eric's hungover.
I really think it would only be about 15 episodes.
15 episodes.
I know, but they're pretty good.
I feel like, I feel like you're really rocking it on the pod when you're hungover.
Well, it's an, oh, I thought of this in the shower today.
Would, okay.
Imagine this.
You can play the piano better than anyone else.
Better than fucking Beethoven, Oscar Peterson, any crazy pianist.
But you have to be hospital style hungover to be able to do it.
Imagine this.
And you like Super Saiyan in and out or do you have, it's okay.
No, you literally have to plan ahead and be like, I have to go get fucking
faded at Barney's Beanery.
Oh my God.
That makes sense.
Bleary eyed, hooked up to IV.
I'm positive that that is how Beethoven felt every day.
You don't get, you know, ideas like that without it hurting a little bit.
Well, for him, it's for his deafness, right?
And from lack of vitamins, right?
I don't know.
I wasn't there.
He's deficient?
What was he deficient in?
Well, certainly back then they weren't getting the superfoods and fruits that
we get now.
They didn't have access to acai berry and whatnot.
Chia seeds.
He probably had a chia seed deficiency, would I, would I have to guess?
Okay, look at these busted ass seltzers that I got.
Seltzer water.
That is a great font.
Look at all the different fonts on that can.
That makes me happy about American Progress.
Look at that.
Nate's got a can too.
Waterloo.
Waterloo.
Chairs water.
Hey, to burst your bubble, dude.
Very high amounts of Forever Chemicals in there.
I don't give a fuck.
How do you like this?
Boiland.
I'm drinking the Boiland.
That's nice when it's bubbling as if it's boiling.
So they don't intend that to be the case.
But Boiland brand spells seltzer water rather.
Somebody please hire us as branding consultants on the sun.
Please.
Oh, I have a really good one.
Listen, sorry to say it like that, but I did have a good idea.
There's a commercial for a smart toilet.
Okay?
And it was a fancy new toilet.
Like, it's whatever.
I don't exactly know what it does, but it's like, you know, bidets and stuff.
So here it is.
A smart toilet for your dumb ass.
For your dumb ass.
You know what I'm saying?
A smart toilet for, you know.
Yeah.
I will say this.
Hilarious idea.
Really funny for a podcast pitch.
But we need to bring decorum back to advertising.
No more of this swearing.
Nope.
No more of this.
You know what I mean?
Let's keep it.
Okay.
What ads are you seeing with swearing in them?
Oh, dude.
The ads that I get are all fucking cussing.
All nude.
Get your bitch ass some pampers.
Yeah.
Gitterade is shit.
You know.
Shit, I could go.
Give me a break.
Give me a break.
Give me that fucking thing, man.
Give it to me, man.
The Kit Kat bar.
I'm all bricked up for some chicken selects.
That's not a curse.
But it's not decorum.
And I'm corny and I want to fuck.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, that would be fucking insane.
That'd be something I've never seen.
Yeah.
In my job, yeah.
So you guys already teased what the episode's about?
Yeah, I did a fucking crazy ass.
Do it again.
Read, read, read, do it again.
Vengeance.
Vengeance.
Yeah.
Damn.
Very good, Nate.
Jesus.
I like the joy.
The joy that's inside of the character really informs it's not just an evil
witch.
Right, right, right.
Well, you're getting, well, here's what's interesting, though.
Because that villain at that point is so excited about Vengeance.
He can taste it.
He can't wait until he gets it.
But just wait until he takes out the government agency or whatever that caused
his mother's death.
You know what I mean?
I can only assume that's the backstory.
Spider-Man.
This guy is not, this character is not fighting government agencies, all right?
Who's he fighting?
He's fighting Japanese schoolboys and girls.
All right.
But they have the powerful lockets that give them ancient powers.
Yeah, exactly.
Is that real?
Or did you make that up just now about the lockets?
That's how quickly I can come up with these storylines.
I have the, my character would have the purple locket, which is strength and
charm boost.
I'm noticing, yeah.
What, you're noticing what?
I'm noticing a lot of your creative ideas.
You're just putting a color in front of the topic.
Well, think about how iconic all those different colored Power Rangers were.
And no, I'm not talking about their ethnicities.
I'm talking about literally the suits.
Right.
The blue wizard, of course.
Clearly the blue wizard.
Right.
I'm seeing someone swag jacking that online.
You posted that today, Nate.
I've been seeing that damn blue wizard all over the place.
Well, all wizards are, like, most wizards are blue, you know?
So this wizard that you come up with isn't really different than, you know,
most wizards.
That's the starter kit when you become a wizard is you get the blue, the blue
robe.
What if I told you his skin is fucking blue?
And his clothes are all gray.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Think, think about, think about this before you bring this shit up to me on a
podcast.
What about the blue-skinned wizard then?
The blue-skinned wizard?
The blue-skinned wizard.
Wizard.
But what I was going to say is that your character, Nate, was full of joy at
the thought of vengeance.
I can't wait.
That's what's going to make me happy.
But I bet you when he takes out those schoolboys and schoolgirls who bullied
him, who are reminded of him of his childhood abilities or whatever,
when he does that, actually he will feel an emptiness, right?
Possibly, sure.
And actually, vengeance, once the act is complete, is a hollow feeling.
Because then you go, what's next?
Well, it's a negative vibration, certainly, you know?
Can I get you guys' honest opinion about something?
Hmm.
You're not going to judge me?
No, man.
Seriously, I don't do that to you anymore.
It sounded like you were joking just there.
It's not a joke, man.
All right.
Should I fucking order chicken wings?
Chat, what are we doing?
Chat, basically the choice will be made by the time that these people are
listening.
But, I mean, what else is the option?
What are your other options?
I think we could do a predictive chat right now.
And everybody would be like, yes, yes, yes, yes.
It would be flooded with, get them wings.
Get them wings.
All right.
I appreciate it, everybody.
Sorry to derail.
How many wings would you have?
I could do eight.
I could do ten.
Get a 12.
Could you do 12?
I could do 12 in a challenge scenario, but I don't know if that's what I'm
really up to right now.
What the fuck is this?
You can order from the Hot Ones wings and sandwiches.
At Buffalo?
I don't know.
No, it's its own store.
Excuse me?
It's its own store.
Sean Evans, you fucking brilliant bastard.
Bringing, first it's just interviews, and then now it's an empire.
That's how we need to be thinking about our own shit, by the way, guys.
Empirically.
You think Sean Evans is throwing it down in that style of way?
I bet that's how a lot of them get that interview opportunity.
I don't think Bill Murray is just, oh, he's so hot right now.
He's coming out of the movie with Pete Davidson.
Sure, you think that's what you, all you, and you get to talk to Sean Evans
just for that?
No, no, no, no, no.
Sean Evans is reserved.
That is like being invited to fucking Mount Olympus to meet God.
Okay?
Right.
And if you're not willing to let him throw down on you.
I am wishing they got Gene Hackman up in that thing before he left this earth.
That would have killed him, dude.
Either way.
But did we say shout out Gene Hackman yet?
Did we say shout out Gene Hackman yet?
I don't think not yet.
I don't think so.
Okay, well, here it goes.
Shout out Gene Hackman.
Thank you, brother.
Or shall I say, he's one of my elders, so I should address him as a,
thank you, sir, for everything you've done.
For, I guess, character actors.
Authenticity in film and acting.
We appreciate you, and we miss you, and we're very curious about what happened.
Extremely.
Send us a sign.
Let us know what the fuck happened, because people have their theories,
but I don't like to gossip like that.
I want to know for real what happened.
And tell DMX I'll be there shortly.
DMX, Gene Hackman, Avicii, all just fucking chilling, waiting in your room in
heaven.
In my aunt's apartment in heaven.
Your one-bedroom apartment in heaven.
How big is the building?
Exactly.
And what floor else is on my floor?
Weirdly enough, dude, in heaven, yeah, I do want to live in an apartment
building
where all my friends and family are there, but they also, there's a safe, you
know, we have
boundaries at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I was told in Sunday school that depending on how good of a Christian you are
is how, like,
baller your house is going to be in heaven.
I was sort of told the same thing, dude.
These fucking rats that schooled us.
Jesus.
It's like, that is definitely not anywhere in the Bible.
Yeah, it's hell no.
You want a mansion, right?
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You are.
I did want the mansion, dude, because I'm like, this is forever, you know what
I'm saying?
So, if I'm going to be doing nefarious stuff, I better be really used to that
studio apartment
lifestyle, you know, or even having roommates, a fucking annoying-ass person, a
roommate in
heaven for the rest of your life.
And we just came up with a TV show idea.
It's called Rent Controlled.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
No, that's not true.
What could it be called?
So, Vengeance, I would love to hear, like-
Landlord with Lord capitalized.
God is the host.
And that's-
Very good.
Very good.
Stephen Buscemi, please accept your Oscar for the first ever TV show to win an
Oscar for
Best Picture.
Well, I really quickly want to address that when I was younger, yeah, a lot of
people think
of heaven as white, full of clouds, gold, you know what I mean, Greek-style
architecture.
But I had a shift.
I don't know what it was.
Maybe it was something they showed in school.
But all of a sudden, I saw heaven very differently.
Instead of it being in the clouds, it was actually, heaven was like earth as
God intended it.
And you're running, you know, running through the olive trees and sitting by
the fire with
your loved ones and just being at peace in his beautiful creation.
Imagine having that thought at nine years old.
Can you imagine that?
Now, imagine experiencing that every day in fucking Dubai.
All right.
You think we need to build an Eden?
Yeah.
I said it's already there.
You think you can?
Oh, damn.
Well, you know about that giant metal box they're making.
What is that?
The giant golden box that they're making in Riyadh.
Tell me more.
Dude, you clearly aren't reading about megastructures.
This is a megastructure that they are building in Roto's.
I just popped it.
Does it feel minty?
Oh, it feels so good.
What does that do?
It makes your eyeballs moist.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Have you guys ever wanted to claim vengeance upon somebody?
Or are you going to pretend that you're not human?
Oh, God, dude.
I've had to just...
I really want to commit one act of vengeance in my life.
And it's going to be epic.
And it's going to be ruthless.
And it is going to be justified.
Who do you think it'