Name: The Long Awaited Appliance Symposium | Ep. 115
Uploaded: 2025-04-14T11:01:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Long Awaited Appliance Symposium | Ep. 115' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Long Awaited Appliance Symposium | Ep. 115' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-14. Transcript available.

The Long Awaited Appliance Symposium | Ep. 115

well well well so we've finally reached the topic of and asking to do for about
two years
begging begging for you please bribing you guys please let me discuss this this
thing that i'm
very interested in you hadn't heard it yet i know proven yourself through other
topics that you were
ready to discuss what's going to be discussed today and the fans have been
fucking on our
fucking asses about this dms constantly please discuss this topic well it got
to the point
where i was even depriving myself to keep myself motivated in other areas of my
life but then i
went and worked out four days in a row so i feel like now i have a now i get my
treat which is
discussing the concept of appliances welcome to joy tactics the podcast
dedicated to all things joyful
joyous and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rahill
nate veroni and jack bensinger enjoy
people are so let down right now let's do it what are you talking about let
down no no no because
these are very uh essential parts of our lives really they're folded into the
fabric of our existence
and they are fabric and they are everything toasters that's an appliance that's
metal what do you mean
it's metal it's not all metal toaster's not fabric the fabric toaster oh no no
but that's not what i'm
saying i see yeah just say we need to get we need to not be distracted by these
semantics
and get to the heart of the matter which is up on the meaning right because so
well i'll put it this
way okay because this really affected my life this week we have a samsung
washer right our landlord
provides it to us at the house right everyone knows that everyone knows right
well i've been talking
about it for a few months samsung washer what else you got a fucking mitsubishi
vacuum i don't
understand um and this shit is busted and basically what would happen was we
would wash the clothes and
then it wouldn't spin so then you get the clothes out they're sopping wet that's
not supposed to
happen all right so then you have to wring the hands out by hand like they did
back in the 1800s
down by the river wring the hands out wring those fat the um they would wring
the clothes by hand
i see and so i got a little taste of what life used to be like which was hell
essentially just put it
that way and uh then the guy came out and he said the washer's toast so now and
i want to hear people
sound off on this we're getting a top loading washer instead of the one that
you put you know where
the doors on the door's on the side now the door's gonna be on the top and
those are a lot more
effective a top loading that's right top load yeah i like those two load from
the top
come on guys yeah
i'm paying attention crazy
i feel like this hat makes me look like i have a black you know those black
surgical gloves that
guys who make boutique burgers wear uh you know what i mean looks like i have
like a wet
yeah from beef juice like you're smoking hand cut fries on the way
yeah you got that brisket fuck your head yeah you're giving like brisket
brisket master connoisseur well not like richard ross like brisket employee
brisket apprentice who gets fired yeah yeah rick ross you look like richard ross
the the pitmaster
we need to get you to set my assessment dude yo
there is a guy who makes peppers
do you know about you know about this guy who makes peppers he grows peppers
which one extremely hot peppers oh you're talking about uh ed smoking ed curry
probably
smoking ed curry and uh this might be too mean to say i don't mean to be mean
to somebody
is it about his weight i feel like i look like him a little bit right now
no but i see him sometimes online and i want to hear what he has to say but
but he's like a little too busted looking
eric oh he's too ugly for you to
sometimes and what does that mean you don't respect ugly people's
misinformation i do man i love ugly people you would be so trickable you can be
so trickable
you walk into a strip club or a modeling agency these people are going to take
advantage of you
eric this is something you need to get over yeah what if i start getting really
me and nate are
gonna start getting really really hot and then what you're just gonna listen to
us
i'd like that if you guys got crazy fucking out it would motivate me
that's happening because you know when you show up in a group you're elevated
by the people or brought
down by the people around you right so if you show up to the club
with seven male supermodels you all of a sudden are bumped up two points just
by association
but if you show up to the club with seven ed uh smoke master what's his name
smoke master ed smoke master eds
you get brought down a few points well hold on man
because if you put
you know what i'm saying if you put a bunch of
you might how do i say this
if you're standing next to a bunch of tens
maybe you were a seven now you're a fucking two you see what i'm saying it's
like when you like
not according to the data that i've i've read about
well you are being tricked you're being scammed and tricked into purchasing
just go to pew research why won't you just join me in going on pewresearch.com
every day
you always go to alternatives i haven't had the time because of what i've been
working on but oh
but today i got time but today friday yeah i'll cover out a couple hours for
presearch.com
all right we'll take a take a few hours
did you guys ever see the documentary about abercrombie and fitch
and hollister not yet and it was about how they would
this was like in my area too because the first abercrombie and fitch and the uh
the first hollister are in columbus ohio
and they would recruit like hot people from high schools in the area
and they would base like the employees on their like they would only hire you
if you were
if you were attractive and i think it led to some lawsuits and such but
i remember going past all of the hollisters and abercrombies at the mall
in columbus and i was like damn they were because they would have them stand at
the front of the door
the hottest people in fucking columbus the hottest teens
and you'd be like damn like these people are fucking hot like i gotta go in
here and buy a fucking
some sandals or something
should we change our zoom windows based on the size of like
like
the ugliest one of us is gonna have a little tiny ass square you know what i'm
saying
so nate yules will be like the size of a pea
and then eric yules will be like a little bigger you know what i'm saying
wait what are you saying
as our hotness has changed
so you're saying i'm the ugliest member of joy tactics right now is that what's
going down
is that what you're pitching whoa man that's what you just said you just said i
was it's not what i just said
dude i just said that your size of your frame would be the smallest
rate based on looks
sound off the chat who's the fuck who's the most fugliest fucking member of joy
tactics
don't be respectful actually please don't fucking do it
please no we're not sensitive none of us are sensitive so that's easy for us to
be specific
look at what types of their body parts you
don't like and what could be improved
and what you like
this is dangerous
and what you want us to put extra fat on and fucking shape and curvature on
we need to pivot right now
wait i do want to say that reminds me of the abercurbanian fish thing
maybe i've said it before but do you guys know that
because with american apparel
in 2009 2010
you also had to submit a headshot
do you know this
yeah
and i know those dirty american apparel
apparel uh manager bastards
were preying upon some of the local
uh teenagers
so i don't abide by that
but i wanted to work there
so fucking bad
i sent in the most sexiest headshot i could find
oh wow
denied
denied
not even one of you just the sexiest one
nah nah i did one of me
but i had my friend take a picture of it
of me on the train platform
and i was about 140 pounds at the time
and i look fucking good
i'm gonna start a thing based uh hiring uh process
where you send in a picture of your thing
and
right
right
you know
you're talking about
just go from there
dick
dick uh
what's e initiatives
well e's
dick
oh it's e
dick
dick enforce
dick enlargement
dick enforcement university
yeah
um
something like that
yeah
but that would be amazing right
everybody in the
in the whatever
the big lots that i'm running
or something
just has massive fucking things
mm-hmm
yeah
and that can apply to
people with the other genitalia as well
so you can have a massive
you know
p-word
hoo-ha
because some people do by the way
and good for them
someone has the biggest one
definitely someone has the biggest one
that's
i won't say who
but i'm
but i know she's
in congress
american congress
nah
what else
okay back to appliances
i mean
right right
bro
do you guys even
i mean dream appliance now
say the dream appliance
espresso machine
that costs
ten thousand dollars
expensive
espresso
machine
dream
dream product
you want the la marzo
what's it called
the one that they have in the
shops
yeah
yeah yeah yeah
the steel ones man
with like fucking four tamps
oh you like steel shit
i love steel
i love it
it's a great middle
but you realize
you realize
this is like a parent advising their kid
not to get a horse
because of how much they have to take care of it
but you realize
if you got one of those la marzocos
it's not a toy right
this is a beautifully crafted machine
you have to take care of it
clean it
fuck that shit
my shit's about to be the most disgusting
whatever it is
espresso machine
it's about to be caked over
and fucking coffee grinds
oh if you put fucking keef in it
you know like firecrackers
making edibles
firecracker style
oh yeah
do that with
just put a bunch of keef
in an espresso tin
or whatever
and lock it in
and just make a little
i bet that would make it a little
some type of thc in it
mmm
the creamy green shot
thc in coffee
yeah that's a combination
right there
uh oh
seth rogan
hit me
hit my line
eric smoke off
with seth rogan
who wins
oh smoke off
with me and seth
yeah
that's up for debate
honestly
right
because it's not about
one of my resolutions
is to up my thc tolerance
immediately
dude i just watched a funny video
y'all want to hear it
or what
please
yeah
be honest
all right check it out
so it's a jolioli
coming at you style video
you know how's he doing
oh he's doing awesome
he got a haircut
he's got his kids
playing with his kids
they have mulberry trees
surrounding his entire
fucking property
where the chicken coop
used to be
that he took out
uh
he built a zip line
going to the trampoline
that's way too low
so his kid has to like
kip up
it's like really
uh
it's so sweet
but he
i was watching a throwback one
jolioli coming at you
from custom grow 420
if you don't know him
look up custom grow 420
but he's doing like a smoke off
with steve will do it
who i don't support politically
uh
but he
they're linking up
like he's that big
that he's
it's an old video
it's like a
oh okay
damn jolioli
i didn't know he was at that level
that he could get to steve man
he's a legend
well steve
steve is a big pothead
and if you
have ever heard of marijuana
you've heard of
jolioli
please
um
but they have a smoke off
and it's like
all the
like
steve will do its
crews standing around
like a bunch of 19 year olds
conservative lunatics
standing around the two of them
like packing bowl after bowl
and to see like
who stops first
and steve stops after like
a bowl and a half
and then everybody cheers
for jolioli
and then he doesn't stop
and the cheering
dies down
and jolioli
he just keeps
coughing and packing
and like
he stops using a lighter
and takes out a blowtorch
and starts torching
and like
oh my god
it's so funny
he's like 37
and he's surrounded by 19 year olds
everyone's just silently
watching him like
what's the
my favorite video
that i used to make us watch
is it the one gram dab
the one gram dab challenge
oh that's a legendary one
best video
damn i just looked up
my favorite one's
the knife hits
their latest video
party