Name: Planet of T-shirts | Ep. 116
Uploaded: 2025-04-21T11:01:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Planet of T-shirts | Ep. 116' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Planet of T-shirts | Ep. 116' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-21. Transcript available.

Planet of T-shirts | Ep. 116

what's up guys uh welcome back to another excellent episode of joy tag because
before
we kick off this episode um just wanted to plug a uh a show we got going on los
angeles if you
live in los angeles we got a show on uh april 27th that's sunday april 27th at
permanent records
roadhouse with none other than myself and eric coasting patty harrison's on the
lineup
mecky leapers on the fucking lineup it's about to go fucking down plus more it's
it's gonna be
a crazy ass show tickets are in the uh show notes come on out catch uh uh catch
a vibe it's about to be
amazing um so but today oh i got a show in new york oh shit yeah plug it away
man yeah i don't know if
i want to tell everybody this one's kind of secret yeah this one's secret i'm
not gonna tell i'm not
gonna say it welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things joyful
joyous and meeting
as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rahill nate veroni and
jack bensinger
enjoy t-shirts t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-shirts damn well these things fucking keep our
torsos
covered up almost every single day right right exactly that's their purpose why
am i the only
person wearing a t-shirt to the t-shirt episode i'm wearing it underneath bro
um because this
is what is building it it's called a sleeper build hiding a sleeper build i got
no t-shirt
you got no t-shirt underneath that no just a winter coat that's how i do it in
the winter
i just wear my coat and then just skin under that do we know the history of t-shirts
when these came
out when they first dropped was it a limited drop when they first made them it
was probably hella
limited because your grandma had to go out to the sheep and gather the wool
well you got to think
it started small and it built out so first we had anything just a waistband or
something and you'd put
a little blow dart in that and you slowly it started creeping up okay then you
start with the then you
get the crop mid reverse midriff where it only covers the belly right the tight
where it's kind of
wrapped around like a corset right and eventually it's just been spreading and
spreading until
to where now there's even long sleeve where they go all the way oh but please
please you're getting
too ahead of yourself riddle me this riddle me this why don't they make t-shirts
with gloves at the end
so it's a full full fucking because we have terrorists running the white house
right now
exactly bro i didn't want to say it but that's what i suspected as well they do
kind of for astronauts
you would wear a t-shirt i guess that's like a dry suit gloves attached to it
gloves at the end right
custom build to to the length of every single one of your fingers perfect fit
you don't got to take it
off
right yeah right of course yeah yeah i kind of want to know when was the first
graphic tee because that's
where i get more interested in t-shirts um is when they started combining the
printing press with the
t-shirt to put words on their symbols funny statements you don't think that
this goes on bible guy was
throwing his t-shirt under there for a second to put uh some kind of naughty
words
uh this ain't gonna suck itself putting on his girlfriend putting that on a burlap
sack that
he's putting on it ain't gonna suck itself and then he's printing hella bibles
jesus i think that's what the bible said at first
but he could rig the machine to do whatever
there were cut there's definitely some custom bibles out there you know with
where they took
their own liberties
there's no doubt about that in my mind i mean that's basically what the bible
is now it's a custom
uh remix of the original aramaic and greek don't get me started on aramaic
translations dude
please now what now tell me what aramaic food is like because that sounds i
want to hit that after
going to see sinners at the amc go to the aramaic get some aramaic uh it's got
to be just like an
ancient like middle eastern language that is what was the food like was it bulgur
i i don't know i i
want to say it was probably a lot of goat goat based you know i don't mind that
yeah goat soup
milk goat milk you know a lot of goat shit i would assume that's what i think
they were eating back
then i can see it pita bread i don't even know if that was invented yet wait
wait wait i have a
shocking revelation this is gonna disturb you guys turn the t-shirt only
started existing in the 19th
century dude that's the 1800s yeah they confuse us by making it 19 but actually
it's 18
you think that's had some it's maybe no coincidence that filmmaking was
invented in the late 1800s early
1900s they saw the t-shirt and they thought well but yeah beautiful ass white t-shirt
you see what i'm
saying right that's when they realized we need to be capturing the human image
the human beauty can't
just it can't just be captured on a fucking rock anymore not in fucking oil we
can't just be mixing
violets with oil and saying this counts as a memory and putting on the canvas
and putting it in the
lube but don't you think there's some some creative uh psychopath genius who is
making
um cave paintings like in a really long cave and then you could sprint past it
and have the illusion of
motion you know you gotta train for two years to be able to see the moving
image yeah yeah you have to
be like really gotta get that like level but that's what the fucking hieroglyphs
were man you see the
right that's just a comic strip man that you run you sprint in the pyramid
through it and i was like
watching a you know um oh damn emo tip started like this bio the initial biopic
about emo
exactly exactly and then you get to go brag to your friends oh how long did it
take you to fucking
read the pyramid i read read that shit read that shit and whatever probably
yeah yeah i read that
entertainment complex that's what the that's what the pyramids were it wasn't
an energy source it was a
fucking like it was the original megaplex amc egyptian ninja warrior right
right and you tell me they
they didn't have t-shirts in ancient egypt so what what were they wearing oh
they definitely did
i know that women were wearing those white linens from what i've seen in the
movies
especially when they went down to the nile oops white linen time the white
linen contest
who can have the whitest outfit contest white t-shirt contest that's not
something bad too bad white linen
contest they were more desensitized to the titty back then they didn't even
need to have oh dude the
titties were out 24 7 in ancient egypt hell yeah dude are you kidding me are
you sure
from my from my fucking the my research yeah the research i mean your recollection
from um what do
they call it when you do uh you go somewhere in your mind imagine all the no no
no they're using it now
with the aliens astral projecting oh astral projections astralized projections
yeah time
traveling astral projections to see ancient titties
time traveling back to the second grade to rock with your teacher one more time
mrs dreon damn yo should we say all our teachers names we did that already yeah
we already did yeah
we failed that's crazy oh how about this people been asking for a sunny angel
uh kind of reveal over
here my little this is a little area this is basically my girlfriend is
arranged these things
and oh shit they just fell into a blender all right here's one this is kind of
a
uh i think it has a melon on its head you know wings sure it's pretty cute
getting ready for battle
people have people love these things man they're rare why is it does that have
a little tiny wang
down there yeah it has like it has a dick and a balls like cover it now oh jesus
that shit now
really don't mess around with that damn but it's a toy man it's not that looks
like that is exactly
what my body looks like by the way all right here's another one we got the uh
cake one i think that's
like a cake or a flan on its head hmm flan um flan sorry it's another mispronunciation
for me
it's hard to reach these fucking this one's i think uh the turkish guy you know
this one came
from turkey right this is sort of like a priest outfit
pretty fun you guys how old are they supposed to be really i think i think they're
like a yodo
where they're like they look like they're kids but they're actually like 400
years old
nate you should bring these to the y so we have something to talk about to
those guys in the sauna
i will have um i will say we got it we have to start saying what's up to those
guys because
we're silent and they're all interacting i know yeah oh i like this one a lot
this one's like a
chicken this one's nice um and then uh two only two more guys only two more so
just oh this one is
this one is sleeping anyone who's listening is going to be really just yeah
just i mean just imagine use
this uh time to use your imagination and just think about what nate could be
showing us they're
beautiful dolls or think about a regret you've had and then get over it this
feels like you guys are
doing me a favor like i'm your cousin yeah man thanks for coming on we promised
you um you could come
on and guest and uh we're really happy to have you but uh you know what energy
i was getting um and i
get this it kind of gave me some clarity on nate your maybe your role in life
is when i watched that
video of y'all playing basketball and it felt like eric you you know were
responsible for a car accident
where a lot of people who everybody loved passed away and you were the one who
survived but you had
to do physical rehab and nate was kind of there for you to help you through
that yeah did it seem that
way because my body was moving weird did my right leg to be seemed to be moving
slower than the rest of
my body no this is my new fixation yeah that i'm having at the gym is that i
have what's called eric
thinks that he's slowly developing uh what is it called a als als that's not
funny
because if it if the diagnosis comes back as true a lot of people are going to
be in my comments saying
sorry about that man oh if that's true we're going to get you in so many every
movie that you'd want
to be in for the next 60 years we're going to fast track i'm going to be the
hacker you're going to
be the hacker in the new mission impossible that sounds fucking sick we're
bringing back firewall
and your inspirational speeches would be just hit so crazy they would be
fucking crushing i'll bet your
ass i can get in rooms that i wasn't previously allowed and i'll just put it
that way oval office
to start you should start getting into like pranking like youtube pranks if
that diagnosis happens you
know because no one's going to be mad at a person if you got pranked with right
you can get omar
dibalical with it yeah tying cherry stems with my tongue in the hood
wait i did just watch uh wait when's david blaine's show coming out i've been
hearing this thing he's
got a show coming out yeah bro oh get out of fucking dodge i hope so because i
just watched the harrison
ford one where harrison ford's in his crib in the amazing kitchen and david blaine's
like remember
your card and harrison ford's like of course and then why don't you pick up a
piece of fruit and
listen he doesn't even say which fruit there's a whole bowl of fruit harrison
picks up an orange
david blaine says why don't you cut that thing harrison or david blaine cuts it
boom the card is
inside of the orange now how did it get there there was no incision here's i
have some insight on this
dude i was researching um uh magicians for a script i was working on and it was
one of these moments where
it's like how the hell did he do this trick and he revealed it he went to a guy's
house okay and then
he said you know where's your card and he said here go in the backyard and dig
right there like dig dig a
hole right there and his card was buried in the ground and you know what he did
to to pull off
this trick what he went into the yard the night before snuck in and buried like
a bunch of cards in
the backyard and then he came there um and kind of like used i guess
manipulation to