Name: Curses! [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-05-29T11:01:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Curses! [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-29. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Curses! [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-29. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

joy tactics are we doing it yeah fuck shit piss bitch damn why are you saying
that well uh watch
you look at the episode title curses oh that was a that was a literal um
interpretation of a curse
word but i i assume we're going to be talking about more of the spiritual
fantasy curses
curse on my knob dang snap crud snap crackle pop suck it flip it hit it oh
smoke it crap
i i send you to a land beyond that's a curse too that's a witch style curse
damn yeah send you to
a land beyond but nate do it
all right you got a discount
fucking shit wait what's your name at the starbucks and i do that uh what that's
fucking what's
what did you say
and you gotta ramp it up too get louder as you do it you know oh yeah yeah it
raised the volume
wow when you stopped it like rang out yeah the acoustics have this apartment
fully set up to
kind of maximize um curses in that way it's the opposite of like a foam like a
sound absorbing wall
it's like um yeah reflecting sound reflecting technology from this department
of sound and so
whenever you do that nate i'm picturing picturing a babylonian king that was
mummified and brought
back to life frozen in the ice right expedition and then brought back to and
then found on an
expedition and brought back to los angeles to a mall and you're anti-anns and
you're ordering a
pretzel bro dude that just made me think of a pretty awesome ad campaign for
fruit by the foot
tell us man getting uh some mummy character that's getting mummified with fruit
by the foot instead of
uh ancient paper and he can't stop eating the fruit by the foot and so he's and
then the mummifiers
come back and say come on dude come on let us wrap you up let's wrap he says
too delicious oh yeah
but he speaks like a mummy yes raw raw i don't know raw ancient language
sucking on it raw yeah have
you been sucked on raw dog raw dog suction sucked on no i only have the condom
on when i'm getting
so i don't trust nobody wish i didn't say that all right all right what update
what life updates do
we have who can we talk shit on right now p diddy bro that's the easiest guy in
the world that's low
hanging food yeah p diddy oh shit mr seed oil mr oil damn his shit is getting
aired out in the court
so let's talk about it yeah let's curse it we curse p oh should we curse p diddy
right now
yeah do it nick crispy diddy
so you can get out of jail but you gotta deal with the consequences of what
this guy's gonna do you
right you're getting off you think you're getting off easy but wait till mummy
nate comes
oh hella birds are about to be shitting on your head you're gonna be just
slipping on your shoes are
gonna have bugs in them if you if you went outside the courthouse in new york
with an amulet
what is an amulet a necklace bro an amulet is a fat necklace with a pendant on
the bottom
held it out yeah just got right in his face let me get an amulet please i
because i'm so fat you
know i'm so averse to accessories and jewelry and stuff but if i found myself
an amulet right what would
you want your amulet to be and uh endowed with what power sort of sort of water
power the water
amulet you want a water amulet it's good i'll take a speed amulet speed like
smoking speed
yeah the crack amulet could that be something in the medieval world we're
building out
definitely if if we wrote something where three of us find three magical amulets
wow but it's kind of like the plot of girl like it's like similar to
the plot of girl custodians in the uh archaeological uh archives
oops we just found three amulets yeah who was i just talking to about the crack
colonizers
the crack colonizers uh that sounds bad like opium like people like who the
fuck was i talk about
this with like the settlers of america show up and we think of you know and
they get to plymouth rock
and the first thing they do is discover crack
but we don't want to talk about it who discovered crack the fucking cia i bet
well that's discovered
yeah the fbi oh they did some gain of function smoking if you know what i'm
saying yeah what is crack
is crack but just the smokable version of cocaine
interesting yeah c d1 f02 is that the chemical composition yeah wow man
wow i would never smoke that shit i'll just say it right now i would never
smoke crack
sabrina carpenter comes up to you let's do it girl that's it that's it i'll
pull the baggie out
right when i see you let's go uh taking a crack shot off of someone's belly
button you know what i'm
saying oh shit i would smoke crack with literally any celebrity okay d list julia
louis yes instantly
matt jason alexander yep michael richards all right that's where you do that's
where i draw the line
that's where i draw the line if he if he if i catch him doing he's trying to do
a comeback tour
he is and i'm gonna be in the front row at fucking his la show screaming racist
racist
we didn't fucking forget
jeez snake i agree with you but that's really shutting that fucking shit down
as a comedian i
you know i think someone actually has talked about that how they felt bad for
him who had that
someone talks about how jerry seinfeld no someone has a bit where they're like
uh it's fucked up but
then as a comedian i'm kind of like damn he's really bombing right now oh right
right yeah that's a
different level of bomb nate do you remember when you used to come over to my
house in chicago and pretend uh
make up like a hebrew like bar mitzvah thing yeah but it was respectful yeah
yeah i would sing it it
was great yeah yeah and i did a pretty good job didn't i yeah that's hebrew
cursing essentially praying
really praying is praying can be a curse hebronics
let's move on all right all right hebronics what are the top like who is
somebody
so a curse probably is coming from some sort of wizard type right it can come
from any one that's
a well-versed in the occult be a witch a wizard a potion no the occult is
encompasses too many
things the occult yeah yeah it's a whole different world really it's just
spirituality right but it's
also like astrology and like mixing potions the occult is basically what you
would call dark-sided
if you don't know that right cold is not like nice spirituality could you see
me get into some
really dark-sided shit yes i think you're this close to seeing a shaman uh i
thought about a
shaman a shaman let me be one shaman shamanic man margara has a shaman right
now that changed his
whole fucking life the shaman so does no fielding key in is that who's that oh
right right he has
one on set doesn't he all right well tell me later then all right what's your
what if you if you were
a a-list celebrity which will happen very soon what is your posse like because
we experienced sort
of a posse at the dive show that we did right oh from the opening band yeah
they had like a whole crew
of people with them and i was like damn we don't even have a we have there's
literally no way in our
nobody like no people following us around my girlfriend didn't even come to
this you know
what i mean like right we don't gotten where the where's the posse yet the posse
is right
we wonder why i'm glidden my phone i have a i have an internet posse we should
have uh posse auditions
you know and it does and it does function as like sort of like you're a word
posse you're like a posse
member but you are also like it's kind of like a uh a glorified intern like you
have to like laugh
at everything we say and like you're on the payroll you're gonna be getting
coffee doing laundry right
right giving us massages like it's and it's everywhere by the way it's not just
like oh you're hosting a
comedy show yeah it's also if you're on someone else's comedy show like oh
should we book uh one
of the joy tactics guys we could book them but the green room's gonna smell
like shit uh you know it
should be like if we're gonna be anywhere whoa now slow down there horsey that
was only but a teaser
just a little taste of what i can only assume is one of the most fire podcast
episodes ever recorded
head over to patreon.com joy tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking
episode while simultaneously
getting in at the ground floor of an exclusive community of like-minded
individuals using positivity
to change the world cheers