Name: Guitars [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-06-12T11:01:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Guitars [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-12. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Guitars [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-12. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

joy tactics
remember that what is that oh yeah yeah dude what the fuck
yo my name is nicholas and this is ridiculousness
got mad i was never apart that was a part of my brain that was like
never supposed to be reactivated that there's no world in which i should have
remembered that like that way i feel like if you would have showed me that
tomorrow i would have
been like that would have faded away that memory it was holding on it was just
holding on taking
up fucking memory space and i only have fucking two terabytes on my fucking
brain memory
right usb stick right
i would kill to go to like a cousin's wedding or something and have that guy be
there and just
get to know him and get faded as hell with him and then never see him again
yeah well you know
his name yeah nicholas nicholas well clearly his name is nicholas and it shit
is ridiculousness and
he's got oh yeah that's good yeah that's hard to say that's dead there's no way
that guy's alive
that guy's dead if he's dead it's from a slacklining incident you know if he
you know i went to school
with a guy named carl and um he got really into slacklining after uh high
school but they would
slackline in between like mountainous peaks so there'd be they'd be like 500
feet up in the air
should have been the topic mountainous peaks we could do we could still do a
portion on it a segment
we need to do terrains we need to do terrains at some point i've been begging
you guys to fucking
talk about terrains but you guys are fucking scared no terrains on the membrane
geographic cypress hill
cypress hill no less that's what i'm saying new bill nye is the weed uh that's
all right
right right no no i'm following but just to say a lot of carl's friends didn't
make it
carl oh they all fell fell to their death well i think there were multiple
incidents
and that's what you get the ones that do the wings the squirrel suits yeah oh
that is what i want to
get i want to get up in a fucking squirrel suit that that i know for a fact if
i do that for
my first try at that no matter how much training i have yeah instant death
instant cliff like it's
on the wing fucking burst and i'm falling to my death so if i want to do a suit
for your birthday
would you use it yeah oh dude outside the bedroom
i would just wear that shit like every day just on the daily
damn what are you saying jack i was gonna say if you want to do an activity
that dangerous
yeah really just let me kill you so that i can see what it feels like to kill
somebody because
you're gonna die anyways so you could do it in the squirrel suit put that shit
on and i'll choke you
out at the top of the mountain until you're out of here let me get one ethical
body you know what i'm
saying yeah we're all getting into the bodies before we pass away for sure if
they had a a minority
report style technology that could map out the fate of like you're gonna die in
this car accident
just like accidents then there should be like a system in place where you could
just like
like anybody can kill them that day like before that happens oh shit you know
what i'm saying so it
just gets it's like it scratches the itch for like serial killers and murderers
and stuff like that so
it's like uh i think everyone kind of wins except for the person dying you know
but it's gonna happen
anyways you can't the thing is you can't escape fate right it's like final
destination i know trust me
i love you man now how long do you think how long do you think a killing would
stay with you
would it be mentally like your consciousness for a while mentally right right
oh yeah for lunch maybe over the course of lunch
wow that is gonna be that is a haunting memory that has if you're thinking of
of memories as uh data
you know that has to be at least 200 terabytes of data like if you downloaded
that memory that would
take fucking a billion that would take so days days upon days on the highest
speed fiber optic cable
internet on my internet it would be it would be uh decades i feel like you're
conceptualizing a new
sci-fi thing because it's the second time you've dropped to like uh the amount
of memory the memory
stick and terabytes a new film by neighbor
the memory stick
take it out take it out take it out i'm like going up to people in starbucks
and pulling out their stick
and putting it in my head holy shit oh boy yeah terrabrain
22 gigabyte it's all slimy well today we're talking about guitars
chen chen chen chen chen chen chen chen chen chen is that godsmack
that's any that's that's such an original dude oh shit
there was a i want to talk about guitar joy for a second because there was um
i worked on that cruise ship right and there's a musical on the ship called
rock of ages
80s musical i've said this a few times and the they had a live band in it so
they brought the
you know they get these guys there's like this guy from new jersey who had like
probably 25 26
hair down to his ass long hair he he had the um at the crew parties he would
always wear the like
rave uh light up fingers you know these and he'd be doing the light up fingers
he'd do it for the
crew some of the filipino crew maybe hadn't seen that before come here we see
him we know that we know
we know it's on your hand dude and uh anyways i've never seen someone embody a
love of guitar as much
as this guy and this guy was like showing like 1980s level guitar love to the
world
he'd be right he had the fan in his in his face there was a crew party one
christmas
where he was like you know asked to perform a song from the trans-siberian
orchestra
can you imagine and the crowds go the crew is going nuts and he's up there hair
blowing in the air
um it just i just don't think there's that many people out there like that
anymore
that love guitar like this certainly not no so just shout out to him hope he's
well
he started dating european chick on the on the ship who worked at in the uh
makeup department you can
buy makeup on the ship and all this uh other stuff as well wow what else yeah
nothing yeah what kind
of makeup what kind of makeup how much did it cost about this fucking guy or
this story
the clinic counter okay now let's go now do you do you guys have any guitar
playing experience i
know jack you are a master ukulele player which a lot of people don't know that
you've i think you
flexed a couple times and there yeah there's one right in your background that's
not a ukulele
that's a that's a tarango oh that's made out of armadillo skin i found on the
street what's the
difference between a tarango and a ukulele it looks like a literally where do i
begin
is it an armadillo carcass that's an armadillo carcass i don't actually know
what the fuck it is
it's got no strings on it i just found it next door the guy next i might have
said this on here
the guy next door was giving away all his son's uh uh what is it called a taxidermy
he had like a
taxidermy collection so there was like all these dead fucking you made a guitar
out of shit
and so he had this armadillo out there and i grabbed that thing and then he was
look going
through like one by one all the the dad came out and was like yeah yeah we're
getting rid of uh my
son's you know no longer into taxidermy so we're getting rid of all this and
then
one by one he went through every single item and said oh he can't get rid of
that and took
everything back inside that oh my god was humorous can you show what can you
show us the object
the tarango yeah yeah by the way that guy is in jail right now that the father
was lying like he
he's just no longer in attack you don't you don't you don't get in you don't uh
that's a passion
guitar out of armadillo and and just not be into taxidermy and that's a god-given
passion
that's a fire passion that's a lifelong uh pursuit i just want to say before we
see it i'm afraid i'm
feeling afraid that you brought this object into your house for spiritual
reasons but maybe let's get
a second look and see if maybe have you cleansed that at all i'm kind of
honestly guys i'm a little bit
over fear i'm a little bit in the um i'm a little bit in the realm of like i
pray for anything even
remotely interesting to be going on and and uh i invite i invite uh i feel like
you could not be
cursed jack by like the most powerful like occult like spiritual witch whatever
that you would be like
whoa now slow down there horsey that was only but a teaser just a little taste
of what i can only
assume is one of the most fire podcast episodes ever recorded head over to
patreon.com slash joy
tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking episode while simultaneously
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