Name: The Olympics | Ep. 125
Uploaded: 2025-06-23T11:01:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Olympics | Ep. 125' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Olympics | Ep. 125' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-23. Transcript available.

The Olympics | Ep. 125

What's up, you guys? It's Nate Verone here, just coming at y'all to let you
guys know that me and Eric have a show in Los Angeles on Sunday, June 29th.
That's right, Sunday, June 29th at Permanent Records in Glass Hill Park, Los
Angeles, California.
It's going to be an incredible night. Line up TBA, get your tickets. The
tickets link are in the show notes, and we'll see you out there.
And without further ado, enjoy this fucking crazy episode of Joy Tactics.
Welcome to Joy Tactics, the podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Verone, and Jack Bensinger. Enjoy.
Oh, shit. Did you just change your background, Jack?
Damn, what is that, Jack?
Wait, what is your guys' background?
You have a... God damn it.
I don't understand.
Jack B camera.
Did you guys not get the custom background email?
I'm going to look so fucked up on the YouTube, because there's already an
overlay on top of it, and then there's a sub-overlay on the overlay.
How come I'm so fucking small?
Why am I way down here?
Oh, well. I'll get close.
You have your credits at the top?
You're on Star Wars' podcast?
Yeah, I've been on there as a favorite.
I don't even know what to call it, why I was there.
I was certainly not asked to be a guest, but that's the benefit of being
friends with...
Right, you're connected.
Oh, uh-oh.
What milli?
Three milli.
Zen mini.
You're losing it.
Be honest, Eric.
Are you losing it out there?
I texted you last night.
It was a little faded, didn't I?
It's mildly faded.
I've been going...
That was making me laugh.
You said no one was making eye contact with you at the bar.
Why were you...
Wait, Eric.
Why were you making eye contact with everybody else?
Who were you trying to get eye contact with?
I was kind of thinking like, all right, I'm in a village in the middle of
nowhere, an hour
and a half outside of London.
Surely someone's going to hear my accent and say, where are you from, mate?
Let's strike up a conversation.
Right.
And no, that never happened.
I have to just read my book in silence.
But I've been going to, I would say, the local pubs and reading my book, having
some
lunches and dinners.
But you're not open.
Was it funny?
No, I'm being open, bro.
Because you have a book.
You have a book.
You're looking down.
That's not inviting.
You have to, you know, there's like body posture things where you can signal to
other people
that, hey, I'm open for conversation.
I would like to make a new friend today.
And I don't know if you understand that.
Right.
Well, actually, there was a moment where I was about to be open to this guy who
sat next
to me, but then I saw him getting kind of shot down by all the other regulars.
So I thought I can't associate myself with this loser.
He's the town thief or something like that.
Something was up.
No one wanted it.
He kept trying to strike up conversations with the boys, with the bald British
men.
You should try and find him.
Maybe later today you could go find him because you're only there for a couple
of days.
I know.
Go find him.
Start filming him.
Hey, sorry, man.
Sorry, I judged you.
Close up flash photography.
That's a good way to meet somebody.
I found.
So today we're discussing the Olympics.
Now, you're probably wondering, is there an Olympics happening this summer?
No, there isn't.
Not to my knowledge.
In fact, I'm pretty sure it's like three years away or four years away.
You forget how quickly we forget about the Winter Olympics, which are going to
be happening
in next year?
No, three years.
If the Winter Olympics, bro, they're happening literally in 2026.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
So there's a Winter Olympics and there's a Summer Olympics, but where's the
Fall Olympics?
Where's the Spring Olympics?
Hmm.
You know what I'm saying?
What sports would that be?
You need a sport that requires like cherry blossoms.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Harvesting, pumpkin carving.
Yeah, cherry blossom eating competition.
Apple blombing something as such.
Oh, there.
That's good.
Guess where the 2026 XXV Olympic Winter Games are happening.
Could you begin the game?
Please tell me it's in Bulgaria.
Please tell me it's in the Alps.
Milan.
Milan.
Milan.
Italy.
Should we go to Milan for the Winter Olympics to do some correspondence for
once?
I think that time of year, at that time of year, next year, Milan is going to
be
rebel.
Radioactive rebel.
Yeah.
Milan?
They're going to take out Italy?
I think Italy's going first.
Fashion capital.
Who, Iran?
I feel like that is a fashion capital, if I'm not mistaken.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
I think that's right.
Don't they have fashion week in Milan?
They certainly do.
Milanese.
Once you take out Milanese.
They're going to go for the artists first.
They always do, bro.
That's what's unfortunate.
They always do.
Who is?
So I, who is?
Them, man.
Do they have an opposite of, do they have an opposite of locked in, being
locked in?
What's the opposite of that?
Locked out.
Openly outside?
Freely?
I'm locked out right now.
Outside by free will?
I can't get, I can't fucking connect.
I feel super locked out.
Would you say that, uh, you, you feel lazy right now or just, or just not
locked in?
I feel, uh, not locked in.
I don't feel fucking lazy, dude.
You know what?
Did you all get called lethargic a lot in school?
That fucking word.
Yep, I did.
Sleepy much?
Lethargic.
That's kind of like the, how people say like fat people are husky.
That's like the, the husky version of lazy.
I was wearing husky for show.
Husky section JC Penney.
That, that word pissed me off when I, when I was a fat kid.
That word made me sick, even though I accepted it.
I was like, just, I would, I wanted to like grab somebody by their fucking
shirt and be
like, just call me fat.
Yeah.
Just call me fat, bro.
Just, just, this was pre Lindy West movement.
Please just say it to me.
I'm fat.
I'm fucking fat.
And just, and let me know if you think that that's on your mind.
Tell me, tell it to my fucking face, please.
Right.
You know what?
You know what?
One of these damn British bartenders said to me, he said, what can I get you?
Big boy.
Oh no, big man.
Big man.
Big boy would be so different from big man.
Big boy.
That's flirtatious.
I could see like storms.
He's saying that.
How you doing?
Big boy.
Oh, big boy.
You just elbow coming out.
But, uh, yeah, I hit the double Guinness.
Yeah.
Oops.
Double glasses.
Four chapters of my book.
Yeah.
Oops.
Sweating in the sun.
Wow.
And the sunlight inside.
Were you G-splitting?
Solo G-splitting with the book?
I was touching the G, if you know what I'm saying, spot of my mind with the
book that I'm reading.
The mental G-spot?
Dude, I'm always, yeah, many books hit my mental G-spot.
I'm pretty damn sure.
I'd put money on it that we brought up the mental G-spot a couple times on this
program.
Certainly.
No, I don't think we've ever repeated ourselves once except for, we just found
out that we've
already did.
For thousands of times.
We did manners like one year ago exactly, I guess.
No, no, no.
When you brought up that topic, I was like, there's a hundred percent chance we've
talked
about this.
We've got manners.
Well, but dude, we've had so many new life experiences.
That's a great point.
Good God.
Because wouldn't you like to see Quentin Tarantino make fucking Dust Till Dawn
now and see how
different it would be?
With his new knowledge.
Yeah.
But we've certainly never even talked about the Olympics, not even once.
No, bro.
And there's so many wonderful sports to discuss.
I think we had a custom.
We talked about what our version of the Olympics.
Didn't we talk about that?
Nah.
Well, there's Michael Phelps, lest we forget.
He's kind of like a big athletic figure of our childhood, I feel.
Remember him?
Phelps?
Oh, of course.
Of course.
I could draw him from memory.
I can, for some reason, picture him so clearly, even though I can't picture.
So many people from, from my life and my mind.
Can we see it?
Wow.
That's, that is scary.
Can you picture your third grade teacher right now?
I can't, I remember her now.
I can't remember what she bloody looked like.
You could fully, you could sketch the outline of Michael Phelps' dick in a
Speedo.
Easily.
Chill, bro.
And they're jammers, bro.
He wears jammers.
I, lately.
It's a jammer.
How beginner you are to swimming.
Um, jammer, go down to the, the knees kind of, they're like a Speedo, but
lengthened.
Oh.
For modesty.
Now, wasn't that shave off like a second off of his time?
Cause it's, it's adding.
Cause they're so, if they're concerned about shaving their entire body to be
all slick in
the water, certainly that's gonna, the difference of time between shaved body
and me being in
the water, them having the body hair of, of me, that's gotta be a 0.03 seconds
of a difference.
I would imagine.
I'm curious to see what my shaved chest is gonna do for my lap times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you just had to shave.
Did they shave just your chest or?
They shaved my, they shaved my chest, but they left like a patch, uh, on my
stomach.
This is, uh, Eric's POW, if you're wondering what, uh, who he's referencing.
The British government has been torturing me for military secrets.
Well, there's a, yeah, he's a political prisoner right now in, uh, Riyadh, uh,
what do you call it?
Riyadh?
No, not Riyadh.
Riyadh's never done anything wrong.
I don't want to straight too far, but it has made me really sympathize with you,
Jack.
What did I do?
Well, because you have the nobody here, um, you, you've lived this experience.
This is a lived experience for you.
You notice how hard it is, how insecure you feel.
So smooth.
It's so smooth.
It's male makeup.
It's male makeup.
Whoa, hair?
Nah, nah.
Hair.
Hair.
I look way better with clean shaven anyways.
Nate, when's the last time you had a fully bare chest?
Never.
When I was, I don't think ever in my life.
You should, I'm not going to, I'm not going to spoil the thing, but you should
do it for
the thing that you're about, we're about to do together.
That would be insane.
And then, uh, yeah, I, I, I have this feeling that, um, doesn't, once you shave
the hair,
it grows back longer or is that a myth?
I hope so.
I hope it comes back off.
It grows stronger and longer.
And I'm like, dude, I can't, it's already like pushing.
Like I have nipple hairs that are, that'll go probably the size of a number two
pencil.
Diameter?
Diameter?
Uh, long, the longitude of them.
That would be fucking disgusting, fat, thick hair, thick fucking hair follicles.
That's what I'm worried about.
If I shave this off, it's going to come out all thick and fucking, uh, thick
like that,
you know?
The thick follicle.
Do you guys know about like a monoxide, oral monoxidil, you know, topical monoxidil
is
Rogaine, right?
Classic hair treatment thing that none of us are familiar with.
Now you can pop the pill, but what it does is it doesn't discriminate where you
grow hair.
You see what I'm saying?
It just goes everywhere.
You guys will take oral monoxidil and get crazy level arm hair in a way that
you can.
Nate, you would be, get us bro, book of world records, monkey, monkey man.
I would be like that werewolf, uh, disorder.
That's what I meant.
And I can tell you right now, some guys, not me, but some guys take that stuff
and they
don't, and it, it, they don't, uh, grow any other body hair even still.
How do you know that, Jack?
Is that, I just told you, and so now you have to believe me.
No, man.
How come I have to fucking HML source every single sentence I say without you
just taking
my word at word?
What is, what is HML?
I don't remember what it is.
Whatever.
You know what I'm saying.
Hey, do you guys remember a hilarious scene in a movie, um, this little movie
called the
40 year old virgin and see how it's just waxed, a classic moment that I believe
was improvised
and he shouts out Kelly Clarkson.
Damn.
Hmm.
Imagine going to the bar asking for some watermelon vodka shots like this.
Eric just showed the hair on his head, man, with hair on his head, on 