Name: Dyson sphere [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-07-03T11:01:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dyson sphere [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-03. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dyson sphere [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-03. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

joy tactics what what's happening jack do you know what what this topic is
about
you said this is that we are podcasting this is recording we're podcasting we're
recording right now what the hell do you think is going on i'm eating a fucking
pancake right now
god damn it jesus we're back at it again man another flawless launch are you
kidding me
well sorry about that this is the worst i was just saying i can't even get over
this is the worst i
i'm currently eating the driest pancake kodiak pancake on the planet it has
three eggs in it
maybe that has three eggs i think one egg is the recommended mixture um i put a
bunch of butter on
it and honey and it's not what are you training for sweetness the flavor what
are you training for
you gotta well got the kirkland purified you got the microplastic fucking
delivery system on on deck
that's amazing i can't talk though because i'm bringing my analogy in the song
which
cannot be good oh that is eating of the blast that's life ending put right in
the esophagus i'm
seeing your life dwindle by the second every day by dwindle you mean growing
prosperity and health
wealth and wealth as well and friends i'm not telling you guys about all the
friends i've been
making lately on purpose to not make you jealous it's a hard one to follow
because of all the
negatives eric but i believe it right i know i made it a little confusing
question when i didn't
realize we had started the podcast but jack do you know what a dyson sphere is
maybe this song will
help you this is a good song by a band called the golden dawn what if the
answer is yes you don't
even know are you guys liking this music yeah uh yes i like jimmy neutron intro
like jimmy neutron
intro song you like that you guys what the fuck is going on man i just want to
know you guys said
we're talking about the dyson sphere the chorus song the chorus of this song is
called let's build
a dyson sphere it's by a band called the golden dawn and i can't even find the
original version of it
anymore it's just this what the fucking hell is a dyson sphere man i'm freaking
the fuck out
this is an energy harnessing system that could
what's happening oh it started playing a new jibet a new jibet style i'm googling
it fuck this
it's an energy harnessing system that we're not jack i search around our sun
that could deliver endless energy to people around the world and even a galaxy
so it's a hypothetical megastructure you're saying it's a hypothetical megastructure
that
encompasses a star captures oh for now for now it's hypothetical now it's
hypothetical
you're talking about the atomical uh energy biter you know what i'm saying
yeah uh yeah essentially it is biting energy you're talking about the solar the
solar mines
the soul mines like the coal mines you're talking about solar power solar
powered
uh well in a sense sure yeah yeah and why are you both thinking about that
because you both seem to be
like really on it like let's talk about well because basically it's an idea as
a as
had as a child and then i read it in a crazy you know uh article essentially
probably a buzzfeed
article in about 2015 and i thought they stole my fucking idea from childhood
to put an energy system
but your idea was like a plug in the sun and there's like a gigantic like cord
that's
yeah the longest cord on the on the galaxy why don't we put a hamster on a
wheel and then throw that at the sun
and then the hamster is gonna be its feet are gonna be so fucking hot that it's
gonna be
skipping along there's bro after you worked on the hamster game show i don't
think you can't you
don't have any room to be abusing and making fun of hamsters anymore we all
know trust me eric
the humans were abused much more than the hamsters much more
i know i know the tell one day the tell all will come out i know
can you imagine really what this is about is more than a dyson sphere but it's
about the concept of
endless energy and what we could do with something like that jack you have a
question
yeah i raised my hand and my question is endless energy you say doesn't all
stars have a life expectancy
that is a good point you both are drinking a lot today i mean i i'm thirsty bro
i just took the smallest
bite of a pancake just this much and it's like completely i can't even couldn't
even talk
jesus fucking christ um yes good point jack the a star does run out of energy
so i think
i don't think that the clinic the clinical sort of scientific terminology they
would
they would um use the word infinite there maybe it's like to a degree infinite
um but yeah i guess
well i don't think infinity does really exist in terms of energy you know what
i'm saying it does
and it doesn't at the same time because that energy is transferred into a black
hole now if you have
a dyson sphere a black hole dyson sphere which i'm sure that that will be
future civilizations well
that's anti-energy which is something we can't even really legally talk about
right right man this is
one of the hardest episodes for me to follow along to that we've done in a
minute i really wanted to
get back to a really difficult topic you know and something that we can't fully
understand so who
has is this something that's in sci-fi or is this something that's more popular
in the world of
physics newtonian physics who's who's playing with what professionals are
playing with this concept
from the back well it is a common concept in science fiction i believe it's in
star trek
and okay um this ties back into aliens but it was the idea was proposed by
physicist freeman dyson
in 1960 as a thought experiment which is something that we're very familiar
with thought experiments
about how a highly advanced civilization might meet its energy needs can we
please come up
just put into place the joy tactics thought experiment institute for ideas and
technology can we please
get that can we get just one warehouse and just have a sign out front that says
that and have a bunch of
beautiful men and women up in there all day long and and basically the rule to
the requirement for entry is
you have to make a meaningful sacrifice in front of us that can take that as
you will but if you don't
requirements you're not in the first i like it's his mom's throat
so you're serious about this you probably call the emt yeah we're calling the
ambulance
yeah get it get it get it quick quick close the door close the door
damn we guess what the three of us would probably have to live there then of
course we'd have to be
monitoring and and keeping the guardrails on because who knows what fucking
could happen in this
yeah it could get dark you know are you guys prepared to throw away the rest of
your lives
because i am kind of feeling like you know what what life got it all right
dude you call this a life
what are you saying jack i can't remember i don't know probably something about
the this warehouse
no way well i want to yeah so you asked like are you do you guys just want to
like
like throw away your life and start over with something else that you're kind
of getting at i'm just
saying in terms of like doing a living like a monk in this joy tactics ideas
center for human
experiments yeah or technology and um yeah i think that was an innovation i'm
just saying if the three
of us were like you know what no more friends no more family no more nothing no
more you know
we're not going to work we're going to live off of uh you know some type of
donation system
and we'll just be kind of living in the monastery of the mind
doesn't sound so bad to me man put it that way
by the way eric is blackout drunk right now i had an engagement i had a lunch
engagement
that i had to make and yeah we fucking hit some cocktails yeah we discussed
business yeah we signed
some ndas but i'm still here doing this for you guys because i know you guys
need the money for
this damn podcast so i show up
eric is paying about 180 grand right now to go to go uh anesthesiologist under
be put under to black out his legs with tattoo so he has completely
oh yeah but i mean it is technically but it's gonna be a lot of dark ink but
there will be
cover of eric got the maori maori tattoos it's for a movie man you don't have
to do it permanent for
movies you know no but i knew dwayne johnson might be more interested in
distributing the film if i
went full right if i went full true true true dwayne the the fake ass bitch
johnson as i call him
dwayne the sexy ass fake ass fucking bitch ass fake ass bitch ass rock uh
amazing ass rock
whoa now slow down there horsey that was only but a teaser just a little taste
of what i can only
assume is one of the most fire podcast episodes ever recorded head over to
patreon.com slash joy
tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking episode while simultaneously
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of an exclusive community of like-minded individuals using positivity to change
the world cheers