Name: Paintings [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-08-14T11:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paintings [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-14. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paintings [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-14. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

joy tactics everybody's good lately or yeah definitely good cool good
definitely
same old see you guys late you're good yeah amazing yeah never been better
yeah it's good good all right you asked me how i'm doing oh how are you doing
jack
yeah same old that you know nothing crazy to say so interesting check in
so i'm uh going to jail next week uh for just you can just guess in the
comments um so this is
going to be my last sort of podcast ever because it's a life sentence it's a
white collar though
right it's all left white color yeah yeah it's the first one it was such a bad
business mistake that
uh they're putting me away for life you crossed the dragon the canadian version
of the dragons then
you tried to swindle all the fucking canadian business goats in a market in a
business deal
rob you guys see that right what the fuck is that yeah it's a new type of cup
for coffee
that is you're appealing to me good morning guys when you put the shape for
anybody just
that's bullshit man that like what how many ounces is that dude that looks like
a seven ounce cup bro
you know it's hilarious bro they're fooling you you see that as a tall regular
glass
well guess what scientifically you can fit all that shit and more in this
because of the wow that
looks like who's done that to you that looks like a fucking j j-e-l-l-o don't
make me barbecue
that cup right there that bar that welcome do it do it well you are not
prepared to attend this
barbecue my cup uh yeah you know so looks like a strange shape where did you
get that eric bro at
the um cascada hotel here in portland oregon shout out man if you are looking
for a dynamic
shaped cup and you're in the portland area hit the cascada it's a new bro i i
the minute i got to the
hotel here's what happens the owner is standing by the check-in desk how's it
going nice to meet you
what are you here for what are you in town for oh i'm doing a movie i'll put it
that way that's
amazing what's it about talking then he gives me a tour of the facilities then
he hooks me up with a
sauna experience then he guides me to what the where the restaurant is and
shows me where the coffee shop
is bro that's called service well that's something that is very rare i feel
like business owners are
not stepping up to the plate and involving themselves in that way a lot of
business owners
they haven't even seen their their business since god knows what i know i was
happy to see an in-touch
owner for once why do i know that business is a co-op why do i know that him
and the fucking bellhops
are making this taking home the same bread right right exactly because you know
that they're doing
shit right that's probably why you know it's a co-op i'm looking at over yeah
just put it this way i'm
looking at over portland right now and i'm wondering what everyone's doing in
their homes and how everyone's
doing wish i could check in with them you've got to hope they're getting ready
for the end
damn you should do like a meet and greet you know eric ray hill meet and greet
at the
barnes and noble starbucks in the lloyd center there's a mall here that that
they do the custom
fittings in which actually i've been to before when i was a child i remember i
was like this place feels
familiar and that's because when i was 12 or 13 years old my friend david and i
visited portland
with our families and david had an internet friend that he had made on a forum
and basically our parents took us to the lloyd center to meet this this friend
and how old was
the friend was like also 12 13 okay thank god but it was i remember thinking
did he have parents with
them or yeah he did he had his beard or nothing okay you know it's you know
that you know something's
up when their grandma brings them instead of their mom and dad yeah you know
some spider-man type
shit's gone down with that fool check his wrist next time you see someone like
that let me see
squeeze that wrist i'm gonna make sure there's no spider nut coming out of that
become friends because i might be in danger being friends with someone like
that
but i do remember it was hella awkward bro awkward i remember being like i'm
gonna go check out this
if i can let them do their own thing because it was it was an awkward meeting
so yeah but now we've come full circle and now that mall is fucking dead dead
there's nothing going on
in there no wow look who got the last laugh that mall probably thought you were
fucking pathetic when
it was on top of the world back in the day now yeah i'm doing independent film
in the area now you're
walking in looking normal i hate that those those true it's like a traditional
indoor mall
like multiple floors escalators that's right or is it one floor no it's it's
like four floors
three floors oh yeah man yep i was just up in one of those in the milton
perhaps area near boston
mm-hmm and that seemed like they got to open the doors or windows in there or
something it was
fucked up all the escalators were broken so you had to like take the elevators
out on the annex to get
from floor to floor it was fucking chaos bro remember that course fucked up but
it you know it was nice
seeing all the goths sitting around i was like oh i like that yes dude they
still exist
dude i walked past a guy sitting in what used to be the food court of the lloyd
center i mean yeah
there is an anti-anns and yeah there is a cajun chicken place but that's about
it everything else
is fucking shuttered but there was a guy with a deck of cards not playing solitaire
but just going like
this looking at the card looking at the card setting it down picking a card up
looking at it setting it
down what could he know that we don't hmm quite interesting yeah that's how you
have to look at
that behavior and not say that's crazy behavior you said you think what does he
know that i don't and
how can i learn from this disturbing behavior damn yeah right out you could
never be a security guard
or because you have to why because i'm too empathetic because you look too much
like one b2 on the nose
damn the guy who sits on the stool and directs the bigger guys to go do shit
you're the guy who sits in front of the stage at the lamb of god concert
and is pretending you know pretending to be too cool for the music and kind of
making eye contact with the chicks in the front
what are you doing here hey speaking of oh i got maybe the most hate i've ever
got online because
the last episode whoa yeah dude oh because of hate breed because well yeah
because i fucking
i said that hate breed is from richmond virginia when obviously they're from
connecticut the fucking
the fucking land of sin if you fucking know connecticut you know that it's all
about the
fucking devil horns and slayer and double bass and shit um but yeah i've meant
to what i was confusing
it with was lamb of god they're from richmond and the two of them just played a
show together
recently you mean log i mean log hey isn't by the way is not every lamb of god
so that's when i become
confused that's what that's what you would think but there's probably some
fucking land
lamb sent from down below as well lamb of satan
whoa now slow down there horsey that was only but a teaser just a little taste
of what i can only
assume is one of the most fire podcast episodes ever recorded head over to
patreon.com slash joy
tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking episode while simultaneously
getting in at the ground floor
of an exclusive community of like-minded individuals using positivity to change
the world cheers