Name: Smash or Pass [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-08-28T11:00:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Smash or Pass [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-28. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Smash or Pass [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-28. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Joy Tactics.
Yes, the Simpsons.
Smash.
I mean, respectfully smash.
Respectfully get to know and smash.
There's no respectfully smashing.
It's just smash or pass.
This isn't a game of respect.
Sally Fields, circa 1991.
Kill.
Sally Fields, circa any fucking time.
No, that's kill.
That's kill.
Sorry.
Different game.
No, I don't kill anyone.
Sally Fields, bro.
We should put this on the Instagram right now.
Give us smasher pass suggestions.
Yeah.
Nate, do you want me to do that?
Yeah, I don't have Instagram on my phone.
Should we have a bonus tier, by the way, for the Patreon?
I feel like there should be a bonus tier where you get the 10 minutes of pre-roll
where it's truly us.
I think we just broke a record for the longest time trying to come up with a
topic where it was like, what about jam?
If we recorded the first, before we record, it would be the funniest possible
thing on the planet.
That's a laugh at you situation, though.
That's not us.
That's not laughing with us.
It would be so pathetic, but so, so funny.
I'd be scared.
I'm saying, playing smasher pass on the next Patreon episode, give us some
names.
Is that all we need?
Yeah.
That's perfect.
All right.
Dude, I love being so interactive with the fan base.
You see what I'm saying?
It's a guy.
It's been too long.
I've never seen him do that.
Jason Bateman, I've never seen him do that.
Sean Hayes, I could see Sean doing that.
Is that a news anchor?
No, dude.
That's the casting crew of Smartless.
Dude, Smartless, by the way, is crushing the charts.
That's so strange that you say that, Eric, because I was just looking at the
top 200 podcasts in the comedy category.
What's number one, Smartless?
Smartless was like number three.
Dude, they're getting hella plays, hella listens.
They're making millions.
And I was checking to see if Joy Tactics broke into the 200.
There's no shot.
We did one time we charted on the first episode.
On the first?
You know that.
There's something so sad about that first episode.
Like, yo, let's give this a shot.
We were in the, we were in like, I don't know what, what ranking, but we were
in the top 200 podcasts.
Well, how would anyone fucking know us?
I don't know.
What do you mean?
Nothing.
I thought it was a funny, like, simple question.
No one is giving a Smartless podcast.
Nobody, dude.
It's been 18 times.
Give it some time.
I know, but I feel like it should be immediate.
You want me to give you one to put myself in the mind of a Joy Tactics listener?
Yes.
All right, here I go.
Let me dive in.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Janine from 8 Mile.
Who is that?
Damn, I can't picture her, but I want to say Smash.
And probably, I feel like every, every person, I'm just going to say Smash,
honestly.
Guys, we just got our first.
Oh, it's fucking flooding in.
Two messages.
First one says, Martha Stewart.
Oh, bro.
Are we allowed to Google Image?
You can't picture Martha.
If you have a Google Image, fucking Martha Stewart, bro.
I don't look at the same things as everyone.
You know, Martha Stewart is a hard smash for me.
I don't know about that, dude.
There's something wrong with her in my mind.
Something I don't trust.
It's not the prison thing that actually elevated her in my mind in terms of
respect, but there's
something about, you know, I saw her in person, right?
In Vegas.
What?
Yeah.
I walked past her as she was opening one of her restaurants in a little tunnel
between
the Bally's Casino and another casino.
I saw her.
Here she is with Snoop Dogg.
I love Martha Stewart, man.
Martha Stewart is awesome.
Sell it.
Sell your interest.
Okay.
Well, she's, if you see how she interacts with Snoop Dogg, with the fact that
she's like
Homophobic Snoop?
Homophobic Snoop Dogg?
Yeah, exactly.
You know exactly what I'm talking about, man.
You know he's homophobic, right?
Pass on Snoop Dogg now.
I used to, about two days ago, I would have smashed the fuck out of Snoop Dogg,
and now
it's a pass, bro, because of his homophobic ideas.
He just recently came out as homophobic?
Yes.
He said he's afraid to go to the movies because he saw a gay relationship in a
Pixar movie.
Is that the times we're living in?
Are you kidding me?
It's not right.
That's the fucking Indica talking, man.
He needs a layoff.
Yeah, that's a devilish Indica.
But sell your interest in my book to me.
Yeah, all right.
She, all right.
There's like, one, she's been to jail.
And I love this.
I feel like she's just created this character of like, oh, I'm the homemaker
and I make pies
and sandwiches and I have, you know, my house is really neat.
But that's not who Martha Stewart really is.
You know what I'm saying?
I feel like she is a real one at her core.
And I see her personality coming out in some of the interviews and interactions
and the TV shows she's been on.
And I think that she has a fun soul and energy and I would like to be around
her.
And I think that we would have a good fucking time sipping on Chardonnay.
Saying this to her agent.
Hey, I'd like to have a meeting with her agent for a second.
I believe that me and your client would enjoy each other's company.
And she's fine as hell.
And she's fine as hell.
Listen.
Listen to me now, all right?
Because Layla has introduced me to this whole world of Martha and Ina Garten.
What you think that you're getting from Martha Stewart is actually what Ina Garten
is.
Okay?
Do you guys know who Ina is?
The Barefoot Contessa?
Who the fuck is Ina Garten?
Ina Garten.
I know that there's plenty of listeners right now that know who the fuck Ina Garten
is.
So this is for them.
Ina Garten actually loves to host and entertain.
She actually likes to get fucked up with people.
What?
Oh.
Ina Garten.
Oh, Layla's saying that Martha is a homemaker.
She does gardening and crafting.
She does it all.
She does it all.
No, in respect.
Right.
And what does Ina Garten do?
Ina Garten is an amazing host.
Right.
Okay.
So Layla's saying Martha Stewart's a renaissance woman.
But I would still much rather hang out with Ms. Ina.
Because she's making the martinis.
She's, you know what I mean?
She likes to get fucked up.
Yeah, but we're not playing hang out or not hang out.
We're playing smash or pass right now.
All right.
But we're also not playing monogamous smash.
You know, there's not only so many pieces of a smashable pie.
You can all hang out in the room in Zoolander where they're having the threesome
with the camera spinning around them.
That's like a 17-some-up from what I remember with all the different people in
Owen Wilson's career.
Well, there's at least one funny-ass fool that pops up, which, if you know, you
know.
If you go to the orgies I go to, there's always one dude who was hiding under
the blanket the whole time.
Surprise!
You know what I'm saying?
Damn.
Would you all get into orgy culture with me?
I'm already in it, bro.
Mentally.
I just need to make it happen physically.
Once you get the certificate of being drug and disease-free, then you're in the
club.
I know, that certificate's incoming, dude.
Just wait.
I need to get it clear.
You need to not get a certificate and be legit about it.
You can't go to a cop, you know.
You're right.
Go ahead, Eric.
More names are flooding in.
We have literally six replies.
Real quick, real quick, before we go into this.
Do you think that they were...
Do you think that when the bubonic plague was happening, do you think people
were hooking up more?
Or less?
Or do you think people that had the plague were like, I want to hook up with
other people with the plague sort of thing?
I bet they're a bit tired.
Like plague orgies?
Plague orgies?
Bubonic orgies?
Yeah.
Do you think that was happening?
I think that you're in so much pain when you have the boo-boos, what they call
boo-boos,
that there's no way you could even start to think in a playfully sexual manner.
Or do the fucking rat germs take over your brain and force you to infect?
You know what I'm saying?
Force you to spread.
Maybe that's how it spread.
Definitely, you could get the plague by busting a nut in somebody, you know, if
you have the plague.
Oh, definitely.
That's a way to spread a plague quickly.
You could give it to them.
Yeah.
Okay.
Next one, Grimes.
Grimes.
Grimes.
Fucking pass.
Pass.
Hard pass.
You just lost your ticket to the next ticket to Mars type thing.
That's a pass.
So good job, Nate.
Good job.
Just got us uninvited to the fucking whatever she's up to these days.
Whoa.
Now slow down there, horsey.
That was only but a teaser.
Just a little taste of what I can only assume is one of the most fire podcast
episodes ever recorded.
Head over to patreon.com slash joy tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking
episode
while simultaneously getting in at the ground floor of an exclusive community
of like-minded individuals
using positivity to change the world.
Cheers.