Name: Races | Ep. 135
Uploaded: 2025-09-01T11:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Races | Ep. 135' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Races | Ep. 135' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-01. Transcript available.

Races | Ep. 135

Starring Nate Veroni.
People don't realize this is so...
Yeah.
Yeah, I need to clear something up just for...
I don't know if some people are going to be shocked by this,
but that's not how you pronounce my last name, Veroni.
It's just how the AI...
And Nate, how do you pronounce it?
You're going to have to guess.
You're going to have to guess.
I'm never going to reveal it.
It's very, very, very different than how you would imagine to be pronounced.
Nate Baron.
That's the most Spanish style way of saying that.
Welcome to Joy Tactics.
The podcast dedicated to all things joyful, joyous, and meeting as many
celebrities as humanly possible.
Hosted by Eric Rahill, Nate Veroni, and Jack Bensinger.
Enjoy.
I guess it is right in the Italian pronunciation of it, because the E's are...
Hey, Feroni.
Megan the Italian?
Does that make sure?
The Italian.
The Italian style.
Megan the Italian?
Oh, shit.
Please don't start freestyling, man.
The podcast is over now if we start freestyling, because I'm going to want to
join.
Oh, fuck.
Scallion pancakes.
Yo.
Jack, you got a new mic set up, bro.
You got the...
That's right.
We got the...
You got the, uh...
Maximum security, you know, isolation chamber, microphone.
What you don't realize is, yes, my microphone is on a mic stand so that I don't
keep accidentally
unplugging the wire.
And how curious, I used a wire to defeat another wire.
My God, how smart.
This is a 2002 Firewire 400 port, it looks like, into a mini DV thing there.
And you can't hack this, by the way.
This is the organic technology that we're going to need to be leaning into once
AI starts tapping
into our fucking, you know, electronic capabilities.
I can't wait for your organic technology seminar YouTube series.
Do you guys realize that we are, like, highly sophisticated-style electronic
creatures and beings?
One more time.
Do you guys realize that we are highly sophisticated electronic creatures and
beings?
Is that ringing a bell for you?
Is that tea clocking tea right now?
Yes and no.
Bubbles.
It's enough.
It's enough, Bubbles.
Bubbles.
Bubbles.
Put the headphones on Bubbles for a second.
Let me say something to that phone.
Yeah, I wish Bubbles could hear us so I could tell Bubbles would shut the fuck
up.
Bubbles is basically, her breakfast is over.
And now she's dragging that fucking bowl around, thinking that there might be a
little bit more
that she missed.
Bubbles, it's enough.
Epic rap battles of history.
Can Bubbles, like, I guess, if you had, like, a mound of food, like, a huge
pile of food
that was as tall as you out in your apartment, would Bubbles eat the whole
thing?
Or does Bubbles have, like, self-restraint?
No, I think that she would, uh, nah, she would eat until she was sick.
Like, just like me.
I mean, similar.
How interesting.
How interesting.
Now, who's that, Jack?
That's you.
Dude, dude.
Grow that hair back, dude.
Dude, I.
That's a kid who's ready, who's successful and participating in society.
You look like you're in, like, a 1980s rom-com and you're the woman.
You know what I mean?
Pull that back up.
I got the feather hair.
I guess I do look a bit femalic.
Oh, damn.
What type of shirt is that?
That's the Reba McIntyre cut.
American Eagle?
Something was going on with this kid, huh?
Why is it like that?
Why does he look like that?
Are you at the lunch table?
Where is that?
Uh, really don't know.
Really don't know.
There's a bunch of old people all around us who I do not recognize.
Damn, what the fuck is this?
Sorry about that.
What are you sipping on, man?
Coffee?
It tastes like an iced Americano.
Mmm.
From where?
Starbucks?
No.
Independent coffee store, I think.
Not sure from where.
Not sure from where.
Your assistant got it for you?
Yeah, my assistant.
Yeah, exactly.
Dude, they're expensive, but they're fucking worth it.
What amount of money would you need to make per year to hire an assistant?
I was just thinking about this.
$40,000.
I bet you could get a virtual assistant.
I'm well on my way, dude.
You're halfway there, bro.
I'm getting there quickly.
You're halfway there.
Oh, by the time you're 38, you're going to be right on the tail of that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I can't wait to fucking make $40,000 here.
Old assistant.
Pennywise, Ms. Punny, what's her name?
Damn, Eric.
Ms. Moneypenny.
Pennywise is a clown.
Who's Ms. Moneypenny?
Is that from Powerpuff Girls?
That's James Bond's Moneypenny.
Look at Moneypenny, man.
When are they going to really start reaching with the casting of James Bond?
Everyone's like, oh, what's it going to be?
I heard a fun fact about Ian Fleming.
You guys don't know this, that James Bond was based on a book.
Bullshit.
You thought it was just a movie, didn't you?
Bullshit.
Yeah.
It works so well in the filmic form, though.
I know.
Well, a lot of films like that that do work well in the filmic form originate
in literature.
And Ian Fleming, do you know how he wrote this book?
Who the fuck is Ian Fleming?
He's an author.
Okay.
James Bond author.
Is that it, though?
He's the real James Bond.
It's an autobiography.
No, I'm kidding.
He went to a seaside cabin.
I don't know where.
And holed up for a month or two.
And was isolated from everything in the world.
Got rid of all the distractions.
Sat down in a seaside cabin by the ocean or a lake.
I don't know what type of water it was.
And cranked out that fucking thing.
007.
This is your fantasy, bro.
This is right up your alley.
Literally.
Can I speak on this, bro?
This shit doesn't fucking work.
Okay?
I ran in a cabin completely.
Not a cabin.
I was in.
All right.
A little different.
I was in the back house of somebody else's house for a month at Virginia Beach.
Totally isolated.
You know what I did for a fucking month?
I got addicted to cigarettes and Fortnite in my 30s.
So this shit is a lie.
You can't be alone like that.
And jerking it?
No, Eric.
I have never jerked it.
Yeah.
I've only ever watched porn when I got tricked into watching it.
I thought you were going to say I've only watched people jerk it.
Well, that too for biology class, yeah.
So you're saying that we need to go where?
We need to all go away individually and work on our podcasting skills alone.
Go away and record solo podcasts for six months at a time.
Every single day.
Come back.
Record one eight-hour marathon episode that will shock the world.
Can I say something humiliating?
Mm-hmm.
Not that long ago, a couple months ago, I tried recording a solo podcast.
I think this is because a project I was working on had just been canceled.
I was like, fuck, I have to sell out now.
I have to fucking just, you know what I'm saying?
And I recorded a test episode of a solo podcast that was like, not really a
podcast.
It was like a green screen, like, you know, kind of like a different version of
that video
magazine thingy that I do, but like centered around a talking guy, me.
It was really dark.
I did like that idea.
So you have an unreleased episode?
I have an unreleased hour-long episode of humor.
Is the green screen like edited in?
Is it like edited or is it just raw?
It's green screen.
I'm in like a really dark.
It's on green screen.
I'm in like a really dark, like Batman type of like high rise with the windows
all the way out.
And there's like a dark thunderstorm.
And I made it so that the light, you can like barely see me.
I wanted it to be like the darkest, like least lit, like talk show that you've
ever seen.
And it's humiliating.
You should drop it, dude, on the Patreon.
I bet it's incredible.
I don't think I can do that.
I would drop 30 seconds of it.
Or even, I'll drop an image of it.
How about that?
Give us the still.
Give it to us.
But that's, it's funny.
Do you think you could really, do you think you really have the strength and
willpower to sell out?
Because a lot of people talk shit about sellouts.
But that actually seems way harder than not selling out.
Selling out is another word for being, being able to appeal to the masses.
And if you think that you can flip a switch and be able to hit 80% of the pot,
general pop, you know, you got another thing coming.
Because some of these people are blessed by God.
Theo Vaughn, fucking Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino.
But I'm talking like, you know.
Austin Butler.
If you wanted to go Austin Butler with it instead of Union Hall.
No, no.
You're thinking in a different way.
Those are the two paths.
I'm saying numbers.
You're not getting, you're not, those people have no fucking numbers compared
to what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about.
You're talking about Senior Beast.
I'm talking about Mr. Beast.
I'm talking about Get Ready With Me While I Try The New Fucking Jean Bing
Restaurant.
I'm talking about come fucking doing all these things at once and posting
fucking clips from other people's podcasts, just stealing it.
And then a fucking cat getting born underneath it.
You know what I'm saying?
Wow.
The attention master.
I'm saying not even selling out.
Simply, you know, in a murderous way, getting as many interactions as possible
so that you can fucking link up with fucking Sobe coconut water deal.
We should have a TikTok shop sales competition where we have to clear 500 grand
in two months of TikTok shop every day trying to find that fucking, that item
that hits crazy.
Dude, you know what I think?
Have you guys ever had a TikTok shop thing that appealed to you?
Not one.
Because whenever I see a TikTok shop thing, I'm like, scroll.
Anytime I see an ad, I scroll so fucking fast.
But sometimes, you know what gets me sometimes is cat toys.
It's not products for me.
It's for my, because when I see a person with a new sort of crazy cat toy, I'm
like, man.
Yeah, I'm seeing that cat play with that fucking automated like fucking rat
string thing that just, you know, you put a battery in it.
And it just goes on its own.
So you are kind of pulled by empathetic.
Dude, I knew you weren't selfish.
And I knew you weren't greedy.
And this kind of shows it to me.
I don't care about another creature.
I'm down to do that.
But I feel like I could sell cat toys, you know.
You know what I think?
I feel like I could clear some cat toys on TikTok shop.
Well, you have the Jackson.
Once Jackson Galaxy passes, you have to fucking line your beard up in the same
way and take the helm from him.
Get some nipple rings.
Yeah.
Imagine he gets murdered by a cat.
Oh.
Excuse me?
They'd have to say ironic.
You mean a cat like Keanu?
What's that mean?
Remember that movie Keanu?
No.
Starring.
Jordan Peele.
Jordan Peele.
Damn.
As a cat?
Yeah, I never saw that one.
No, the cat is one of the characters.
Here's what I'm saying, though.
Yeah.
What?
About the brand deals.
Well, this is what I think we should do as a podcast.
And the listeners can help us pitch and figure out how we want to do this.
We need to be racing.
Speaking of the title of the episode.
Racing to a brand deal.
The race to a brand deal.
30 days to unlock a fucking brand deal.
Fortune 500.
No, not any brand.
Fortune 500 brand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we have to get the listeners up.
We have to be doing fucking clips.
We have to be fucking doing body transformations.
We have to be selling pictures of ourselves being sexual.
We have to do what else?
Collaborating.
That's the name of the game.
This is with whom?
With whoever, literally, just go into chat GPT, say make a list of everybody
from all countries
who have over fucking 20,000 followers and start emailing them, please, now.
And then every day, all day.
This is all wrong.
You guys are going all the wrong way.
What we need is drama and we need to be dating famous chicks.
So we need a PR person who can hook us up with a fake relationship, each one of
us.
Famous chicks.
My chick is famous in my household.
Notice how I don't get in the doghouse with you guys.
She's a queen.
To me.
What's that from?
Rap world?
Yeah, but I think I got the line wrong.
Oh, and yet you are.
To me.
Right.
Right.
Hey, teach us, man.
Teach us.
Wait, should we go around and say which famous chick's...
Each of us would date if we were single?
