Name: Chameleons [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-09-04T11:01:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chameleons [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-04. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chameleons [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-04. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Joy Tactics.
Why did you do that?
Oh.
Something like that.
I just want to just be silent and just keep, you keep trying to emulate what a
chameleon
sounds like.
Whoa, Nate, I'm just realizing this shirt.
Do you have like a priest?
This is actually from, I got this, this was a costume on a movie and it's one
of those
kind of like.
I fucking clocked it, dude.
Oh, wait, it's not actually a costume.
It's not a priest, it's not, I mean, I shouldn't say a costume, but it's like a
shirt that was
like, it's like tailored to have like a tighter neck and it has one of those
really long.
This is like a Kanye West shirt, you know what I'm saying?
That shape is a nightmare for my body.
Nightmare.
That shape would not.
You know what?
We have to be tailoring all our clothes.
We need a good fucking tailor, dude.
I've, I've met a tailor in my life and I don't know any tailors and I can
really fucking use
one.
Well, let me hook you up then, man.
I just was talking to my guy, Avo, on the phone.
That's when I went on mute.
I was talking to Avo and he's lining my shit up.
It's fashion style, but in the fashion style.
And he was a little, I think he's about, he said, I was up really late doing
your shit
last night to get it done in time.
Tailoring for you?
Yeah.
And I was like, I really appreciate that, man.
You realize you could do it for free with scissors?
Scissors?
Wow.
Jack, I do think you need to be rocking more of the, because maybe two years
ago that was
really hitting the like cutoff tees at the belly.
You see what I'm saying?
With the Wrangler jeans.
Don't raise it up.
You think it's time for nips?
Get like half nipple.
Go up to that fucking.
I'll wear just a collar.
Jack, think about this fit.
Think about this fit on you.
I'm serious.
Okay.
Brown cowboy boots, blue Wrangler jeans, a jersey like that cut off to the midriff,
to
the belly button.
Nipple, one nipple pierced.
Fucking, you see what I'm saying?
Because you're getting in the South.
Bunger flipped up into the waistband.
Bunger flipped up.
I hope it hits the belly button.
Hey, man.
I'm a fucking cowboy.
I'm from Northern Virginia, down South.
Yuck, Yuck, Arlington.
Yuck, Fairfax County.
Yuck.
I should get a tattoo.
You're very accepting.
It says fake cowboy.
What's the ally symbol?
What is the ally symbol and how can we get it tattooed?
That is a great point.
The allies do not have a flag.
We don't have a Discord that we can all go into.
I'm going into After Effects right now.
Can we please start the fucking ally Discord right now?
Bro, I think there is an ally flag.
Straight ally pride flag.
Nothing funny about that.
Bro.
No, I'm making a new one.
La, la, la, wait till I get my allyship right.
Oh, wow.
It's so literal.
It's an A with a...
Yeah.
So what does that mean?
If you were to break that down, do the black and white bars mean straight
oppression?
Right, exactly.
The uniforms that they give you in straight prison, straight jail?
The rainbow is lifting us from our prison of straightness and it's like an
olive branch.
Well, maybe because that seems like a LGBTQIA plus allyship flag.
I'm wondering, is there a straight white female ally flag?
Wow.
So you guys, by the way, for laughing at that image, you guys are both are
about to lose fucking serious regular parts in the new fucking Hulu show.
By the way.
No, man.
We're laughing at how cute it is and how much we align.
And Jack, by the way, guys, Jack is drinking a legit margarita.
It's 1.30 here.
And it's fucking Memorial Day.
Or was that from a street fair or something?
I made it out of cash.
I handed the cash to the bartender and then they gave me a fucking drink.
What bartender?
The one that works...
This is so crazy, man.
The one that works at the Havana Outpost in Fort Greene.
What's the problem?
Damn.
You know what?
Why does it happen like this?
Okay.
I need to ask you guys a serious question because when I'm in New York living
with Jack, yeah, I would say once every two months we'd turn it up.
And Jack would want to turn up like that.
See what I'm saying?
Now I leave and you're enjoying a hedonistic lifestyle that I would enjoy.
And for some reason, I know when I leave both of you guys for fucking Riyadh or
wherever, Nate, you're going to start fucking partying and having the time of
your life.
And I'm going to be wondering, why did you guys leave me hanging dry, doing me
dirty like that?
That's something to ask your therapist, by the way.
I don't have one anymore.
I lost him when I lost my health insurance from Criteo.
And by that point, I already thought we were rehashing things that we didn't
need to discuss anymore.
Okay.
Do you have health insurance, Eric?
Of course.
Right now, currently.
Through the WGA.
Okay, good.
I just want to make sure you do.
Yeah, man.
Of course I do.
Vital.
And I can also get it through SAG, by the way.
It's up to me, but I chose the writers to give me health.
Real artists.
The WGA has pretty fucking good health insurance.
I will say that.
I'm going to the doctors.
I'll tell you guys this.
Many times.
It's time to get the full fucking breakdown.
I've been afraid of the doctor for so long.
I'm getting the full ass breakdown.
PCP, derm, heart.
Would you trust me if I went to medical school and became a doctor?
Just barely, though, just for you?
Would you trust me in my opinions?
Yes.
You'd be my only client.
So it's a crazy baseline.
It's like a nuts.
And I'm just getting by just to help you out so you're more comfortable around
doctors.
And I'm doing this for you.
Well, I'd keep you on staff.
I think I'd keep you on retainer.
I'd put you in the bungalow.
Give you a medical bungalow with a Murphy bed.
Oh, I could be like an old-timey doctor.
Show up to your house.
With a black bag?
Suitcase.
Yeah, come bedside to you.
You're all fucking sick.
Give you the thermometer.
Here's what I think about when I think about those old-timey doctors.
Right?
Because, you know, they're wearing black wool suits to signify that they're a
doctor.
Right?
Of course.
Yeah.
And so they're walking through what's now known as Wyoming.
At that point, probably didn't have a name.
And they're walking to a little house on the prairie that's nine miles away in
the sun.
Don't you think by the time they show up to the house, they're smelling like
fucking shit?
Right.
In wool suit.
I didn't even think about that.
End of summer.
But the, I mean, the sick person is smelling worse because they've been bedridden
all day from tuberculosis.
Shit.
You know tuberculosis doesn't smell, doesn't smell like fucking Byredo.
I don't think people were smelling at all back then.
And what did you just say, Nate?
Byredo.
What's that?
I don't know about Byredo, man.
That's so funny.
Oh, it's a beauty brand, man.
It's a beauty brand.
That's hilarious, man.
You don't know what Byredo is?
That's so funny.
Well, let me just put it this way.
Byredo is one of the premier Korean scent shops in the nation.
They have candles, colognes.
And they all smell like Korean people?
What's going on?
Yeah, if you're saying Korean people smell amazing, which I think they do, then
yes.
Well, I'll have to look to it then.
How simple is that?
Nate, do you know this scent by Mooglair called Alien?
Of course.
What do you think I'm wearing right now, man?
I'm head to toe, drip down an Alien.
What is it?
When I was working at Nordstrom, I did hella ads for Terry, Terry Mooglair
Alien.
And I'm like, if we don't get Nate, the Terry Mooglair Alien scent for his
birthday.
If you got the gallon, the gallon size Terry Mooglair Alien.
That looks like something that a guy that has like a kiosk in a mall would wear,
you know?
Right, but isn't that Brandon kind of sick?
You walk past his fucking phone case.
Yeah, yeah.
You would smell that fucking a mile away at the mall.
I can't deal with those powerful, the powerful scents.
You see what I'm saying?
The sharp, stark, like blue, rationale, that type of scent.
I don't know.
Smells like a Macy's.
I'm going to start really spraying it down because I'm a little modest with my
scents.
I'm like, a little tss.
But I'm like, you know what?
It's kind of fun when you just walk past somebody and they're like, what the
fuck was that?
That's powerful.
Did you see that chick come up to me last night?
Or that person?
I don't need to gender them.
Person come up to me and she said, you smell good as fuck on stage.
I said, that's Mallon Getz, dark rum oil.
What'd you get me, Mallon Getz?
I get Mallon Getz.
Whoa.
Now slow down there, horsey.
That was only but a teaser.
Just a little taste of what I can only assume is one of the most fire podcast
episodes ever recorded.
Head over to patreon.com slash joy tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking
episode
while simultaneously getting in at the ground floor of an exclusive community
of like-minded individuals
using positivity to change the world.
Cheers.