Name: Horrible Nightmares [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-10-23T11:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Horrible Nightmares [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-23. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Horrible Nightmares [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-23. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

joy tactics and i'll tell you one that i had a couple of nights ago i'm at a
comedy show
i'm in an isis controlled region and zach galifianakis is there being
incredibly rude
and they fucking kill him in front of his wife jesus and then i had to wake up
from that and go
into work that was horrible how's that for a nightmare god why does it happen
like this
why can't why can't the creator or whoever's in charge just give us pleasant
things to see
in our sleep why does it have to be terrifying
i didn't know by now we're talking about nightmares yeah nightmares and you're
you're
these are the opposite of dreams if you've never experienced one they're often
terrifying
and they happen during your sleep jesus they happen when you're awake
oh yeah living nightmares waking nightmares this is a nightmare oh no i have no
ketchup left in my
house this is a fucking nightmare this is a fucking nightmare oh no i my my
blood sugar levels are
skyrocketing this is a nightmare oh no i slept weird and my wrist feels like it
broke and i have a
wrist brace and it's still feeling bad after one and a half days
and uh rotate that thing kind of concerned no nate that's from a sleep i woke
up from this has never
happened before i woke up and i was like dude my wrist is my wrist is like so
like stiff like i can
like barely even like move it like it was i must have like dude i have a
problem with
like whatever whatever's going on in my brain sleep wise yeah i think that if
my wrist was all
kind of like fucked up all night i would wake up and be like yo let's adjust
this but your body
didn't just leave it that way yeah isn't that interesting because if somebody's
pranking you you
might if they put like a warm cup of water next to you or something whatever or
they draw on you
yeah you wake up a lot of people pretty quick but like nate's saying if you are
doing a fucking scorpion
backbend what's going on what is going on i can't be sure it's it's a betrayal
by our own brains i think i
think that's how bad you need sleep man is your brain is prioritizing really a
few more z's over
your wrist health should we talk shit about it hurts so bad can i say really
quick just before
we get into sleep sciences because i have a lot to say about that um nate did
you go to the urgent
care for that or did you go to a cvs and get your own brace i went to see uh walgreens
and got my own
brace smart because i don't need what do i what do i need urgent care for you
know what i'm saying
you just got to keep it straight right and then what happens if you're if you're
the other higher
part of your arm starts getting stiff and then your bicep starts getting stiff
ignore it and just have a lifelong and then your neck starts getting stiff
no i'm fine i'm all good i'm good man totally good just slept slept really
weird
wait eric keep going on the body parts man oh man uh then your nipples get all
stiff yeah oh
shit permanently stiff nipples then that stomach gets stiff oops guess what my
wrist is bricked
up today permanently yeah oh shit my pubis is now stiff whoops
well sometimes if you have an injury like that you do want to um give it some
physical therapy and
move it around yeah you don't want to get out of your orders was it asleep or
just stiff no no just
just like if i bend it back it's like uh you know yeah yeah what do you guys
think it's a sprain it's
probably a sprain right well did you wake up laying on top of it no i just like
woke up and i was like
uh this hurts i went back to sleep and then i got up and i was like jesus
christ like
the hell is going on man you're being betrayed by your own body man yeah i hate
that all right
well gotta be with you man you guys hear the garbage truck
what kind of power garbage man has what kind of what clean world nightmares
does a uh garbage
man have picking everybody's clean oh oh everyone's clean he doesn't have a job
anymore
yeah that would be the they get kind of kicked up don't they what's the salary
for a garbage man or
woman or person if they're if that's what they want to be called i think they
get to just
fucking demand it oh it's uh did their pay like go up crazy in the last like 10
years yeah like
all i'm all i'm seeing is like six figs is like that plumbers and you know
trade school blue collar
workers you know when i was a kid i was like oh these people are you know not
scum of the earth but
they like don't make that much money yeah they're not making sure you're like
like why would you want
why plumber why would they want you to think that nay because then what do you
do you go to
fucking college interesting and what does college have about it it costs money
how interesting well
that too that's part of the thing too and woke ideology the brainwash school
mm-hmm interesting the republicans nightmare woke ideology
so sleep scientists you have something to say about them jack well yeah i do
pick up the pace man i feel like we are in like the year 1300 with the sleep
studies
what's going on there i had an idea as a child that was a pill that would keep
you up all night
and get you rested that is that that's real eric i could i know but listen
it rests you as well so it replenishes yourselves you get to have like a 10
minute dream that's really
nice because think about this you take that pill all of a sudden we're
essentially living double lifespans
uh essentially dude i don't want to extend your life vampire yeah go vampire
mode and i think they
have uh identity like you know how they they they've just done so much shit to
mice you know what i'm
saying and they i feel like everything has been kind of like solved via mice
and then has to get through
the bureaucracy of the fda etc and it takes like fucking 20 years for a drug to
come out yeah i think
they've i've i've i swear to god i've read that they've like solved they found
like a uh like a dna
strand of like how to turn off like that you need sleep at all excuse me like a
jelly what are we
doing we you know what we are uh mouse's nightmare human beings are a mouse's
nightmare
right why is that look at what we're doing to them we're testing on them like
mangala like what dr
mangala who's he or she evil nazi scientist oh fuck that it's definitely a dude
wait did i talk about
this the documentary on the last episode that the lost souls of dr morango or i
don't even know you
you told me that oh about me the whole plot on the sidewalk yeah yeah is it
about it's about marlon
brando and val kill yeah yeah so yeah no i haven't seen that i want to see it
so bad did i did i talk
about it though on the last episode i don't think i can't remember so but bring
it up again though
because that's because i just i just saw it and i described the whole plot to
jack
but dude this is a i gotta recommend that it's on tubi and i'm probably saying
it wrong but it's like
an hg wells uh book that the movie is based on and it's a documentary about a
uh the making of this
movie and it goes so fucking south because marlon brando like lost his mind
kind of
i mean he was already like he doesn't lose his mind during it he's just like
comes in like kind of
like he is uh like a psychopath you know like he shows up
man there's so much in it i don't want i kind of don't want to spoil a lot of
it just give one
moment give one moment okay there's this little there's the smallest man in the
world they cast
so dr morango is a book about like a god-like scientist who creates all these
beasts on an
island and they're all like wolf hybrid you know like they're they kind of have
like a uh they look
like beasts okay so every so there's all these like extras who have like prosthetics
and stuff
and they're trying to cast like kind of uh interesting looking people and they
find this
guy in the dominican republic that's the smallest man in the world and he's 17
inches tall
and uh he is like a michael jackson level celebrity in the dominican republic
whoa now slow down there horsey that was only but a teaser just a little taste
of what i can
only assume is one of the most fire podcast episodes ever recorded head over to
patreon.com
slash joy tactics now to unlock this crazy ass fucking episode while
simultaneously
getting in at the ground floor of an exclusive community of like-minded
individuals using
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