Name: New York, New York | Ep. 145
Uploaded: 2025-11-10T11:01:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New York, New York | Ep. 145' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New York, New York | Ep. 145' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-10. Transcript available.

New York, New York | Ep. 145

oh eric are you googling something no no okay all right let's start for real
then here we go
three three two one
you know what i'm singing tribeca best i
yeah i'm out in brooklyn now i'm out in tribeca now i'm in gramercy now i'm in
soho now i'm at
chelsea uh mall now i'm in queens now i'm in downtown brooklyn oh bro now i'm
up all up in hudson yards
imagine this now i'm on first street now i'm on second street now i'm on third
street
see what i'm saying now i'm going east upper east side now i'm going west side
welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things joyful joyous and
meeting as many
celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rahill nate veroni and jack bensinger
enjoy
enjoy
zoran mamdani
sorry a little loud
zoran mamdani
zoran
we summon you
protector i wish i was at the fucking the speech that he gave
in the front row just so you can feel goosebumps for the first time
yeah you've been searching for goosebumps your whole life
wow that is a fucking play if i've ever heard it searching for goosebumps
yep or playing goosebumps all by travis scott off my bluetooth or reading your
friend rl stein
yeah you guys don't know that do you yeah i have his number and i don't call
him rl his name is
call by the way rl stein what's his name bob now bob you realize you realize
getting boost
goosebump boost gums come on you realize getting goosebumps means your entire
skin is getting bricked
up right oh well the skin is like a thousand boners a thousand tiny little boners
popping up on your skin
dude boners dude someone has a joke about getting one big ass goosebump ah
if you know you know i think it's jack jack amazing set last night at union
hall
i just couldn't stop thinking about it that's not that's a little too far man
that's a little too far bro was that lonnier no this is my chick character
named lisa oh
holy we have a new character that just dropped on joy tight this is big eric
has eric before eric had
one character now eric has just introduced a new yeah my new characters and i'm
noted
don't think it's being missed on us that the genius of doing l names yep it's
the l universe
speaking of l names um i this is an update jack you don't even know this and i
tease this before the
podcast on the i tease this to the the bonus episode where i was on facebook
marketplace looking up this uh
2005 lexus um and yeah we have some updates from thursday and you guys are
probably like wow this yeah i
i move quickly on purchases okay next day we record the bonus episode hey i'm
looking to
purchase this lexus next day go meet this guy in person in a in a ralph's
parking lot
in century city la look at the car i say hey man let's go get a pre-purchase
inspection first
okay yeah that's fine we drive there car's running good go there get the pre-purchase
inspection done
ppi ppi and um they come back with me they have this sheet they say hey there's
a bunch of stuff
that needs done on this probably like a thousand two thousand dollars worth of
work needs to be done
this and i know that i can use that for my negotiation tactics right do you
guys have any questions so
far or jack i just want you to use a sexier voice while you're saying this like
you're talking to a
girl at the bar you've been talking to talking her she hasn't said one word in
45 minutes
and this is the ultimate move then they put that thing up on the pet boys uh
lift looked under the engine
yeah and um so i'm negotiating with him and i say this is the price that he
listed for 5500.
okay so i come i lowball him like crazy because we're about to meet you know in
the middle i say
i'll do 4 000 he gets up he says what the fuck if i thought you're gonna do
this shit i wouldn't even
have showed up all right he's so pissed i'm even negotiating are you fucking
kidding me that's how
this shit goes down your private seller welcome to the fucking world bitch so
then i go back to him
i say all right all right 4 500 and he says dude there's people right now that
are messaging me
they'll buy this for 5 000 i have offers right now and i say all right that's
it we split off both
ways i'm ready to walk away fully we walk away he stops and he says he turns to
me and he says you're
really gonna blow up this fucking deal for 500 and um and i say and we're in
the pet boys lobby
and the auto mechanics are like take it outside they said take it outside yeah
yeah they said take
it outside
but i stayed in there because i was like you know what i'm saying that is so
anime are you kidding
me you're walking away from each other i can literally see it you're really
gonna blow this
whole deal for 500 you know it was my dream it was my dream where i fucking go
down on a price and walk
and as he's walking away he kind of like calls his bluff you know what i'm
saying yes uh i'm really
scared of this guy selling his lexus i have to muster up my courage to get over
500 off this used car
from 2007 2005 eric i don't even care if it has two thousand dollars in damage
it's worth it
you're really gonna blow up this deal for 500
yes i'm uh sticking to it uh i came all the way out here
i'm evil
so i could say anti-semitic
and they still can't
still won't drop the deal
adidas still won't drop me okay go ahead so here's how so here's here's where
we left off
got him down 500
so that's the taxes basically paid for at the dmv because you have to pay taxes
afterwards
so i basically got the taxes for free off that
bitch all right got the whip you bought it go home yeah i got it go home next
day
drive it back the key fob breaks off of the key okay now this is an old car so
it has you know
the actual key it doesn't have a startup the key thing breaks off and it's just
stuck in the ignition
okay and then not only that i can like touch the key and and turn it and i'm
turning it to try and
like turn it on and it won't start so the key fob is stuck in the key stuck in
the ignition
and it won't start so i'm like you gotta be kidding me this is day one of
having the car basically
okay day they want to fully have then it's already doesn't even work yeah so i
call triple a yeah i'm
a triple a member did you know that triple a free toe okay getting screamed at
by the toe guy to
get it up on the you know that's full toe just for the key being stuck in there
yeah because i can't
get the key out they don't have like a piece of gum that can just get it out
why do they have to trust
me i was trying so hard to get it out i couldn't get it out and the toe guy was
too and i'm like if the
toe guy can't get it then like it's definitely like stuck in there where this
needs to be like broken
apart you know what i'm saying so we tow it to the nearby uh auto mechanic and
i'm gonna give these
guys a shout out joe mag auto repair these guys know what the they're doing oh
wow tow it there the
guy gets the key out immediately and the the auto mechanic and um yeah it was
it was literally child's
play for this guy um and they're like okay we're gonna we can't turn it on but
we're gonna you know
do some work on it and then the next day i get a call and he's like there's
nothing wrong with it
like it just started up so now i have the i have the short long story short i
have the lexus back and
now but don't you gotta do some work on it i asked him i was like look at the
pep boys thing he was like
you can do a bunch of preemptive work but it's just kind of like a never-ending
thing like just
just he was he was basically like just run it until it like something is is flaring
up and then
uh and then bring it back you know he's like you got triple a so so he's this
is a this is a great
fucking auto mechanic i gotta i gotta say one of the best because he was like
didn't charge me anything
he was like just come back when it's you know fucked up again well so tell me
is it a four-door car
four-door sedan 2005 lexus let me look it up lexus what 330. one of the most
reliable cars also i got
shade from the mechanic too he was like you know that's just an expensive camry
and i was like you're
kicking me while i'm down man really wait what color is the date beige yes gold
yes the old lexus
this is basically the looks like the camry that i my parents camry that i drove
in high school
but that once you're inside of it nice one then once you're in the interior is
a totally different
ball game this has a cd changer dude okay navigation system oh wow i'm looking
at a murdered out one
right now black black rims tinted windows yep you're looking into the future is
what dude if you drove a
murdered out lexus es uh 330 this is what this is one of those cars where there's
a if you google image
it a lot of the results uh are flash photos of the interior it's taken with a
digital camera you mean
taking it with the flash on and it's making me laugh a bit i hate to say this
looks like crime scene
every every one of these every one of the i'm gonna send this to the group chat
look at all these
fucking photos this is who the fuck look at these look at this shit
do you guys think that your blood will ever be seen on a dashboard taking a
flash photo
what you just sent jack is my life the first photo that's what i'm rocking with
basically that's
that's my that that's that's what i'm staring at damn you got that wood
interior wooden
the wooden steering wheel i mean you're kidding me it's the most amazing
steering wheel eric you
gotta hop in this i gotta pick you i might pick you up after this you want to
pick me up and go to
the gm joyride oh fuck yeah please please and we'll get coffee after me jack
you can't imagine this gym
man what the fuck is this gym well let's not i don't want people to know where
we're going this
is an exclusive all right all right but we just joined a new gym jack and i
would say it rivals
your fucking gym if you want to compete here because you have you were of of
the three of us
you had the nicest gym membership and now it's changing rapidly for you
i i i urge you to not continue along the lines of this conversation because i
may be withholding
something which what will come into play what do you mean i know wait hold up
did you just join equinox
funny you should ask
guess what there's a discount for 30 rock employees at the oh holy shit yeah oh
so
now you see my power all mbc jack you realize we work for the same company
right at the end of the
day it's not about mbc it's about the building 30 rockefeller center well let
me check what
discounts i get separately from you all right and we'll stack them up and come
and battle them
all right
anyways man this gym is awesome it's it's very it's a historic old gym yeah it's
got i mean i
think we're already i just toasted it right there with that descriptor pretty
much you can probably
guess what it is honestly as it is wooden interiors about 12 floors restaurants
what
neighborhood is it beautiful downtown l.a right by the
well the neighborhood's not listen it's a it's a nice part you know i like dude
i like driving downtown
it's like it's like because there's no skyscrapers in l.a and like you feel
like you're in a city
you're in a real city i'll tell you real city let me just break it down for you
i know we're about to
supposed to be talking about new york but let me give some love to l.a we went
on this walking tour
yesterday that i frankly was dreading uh me lila danny k went on a walking tour
and i was like
fuck i don't want to do this show up and the people leading it are a little bit
nerdy and they're kind of
fighting with each other in a neurodivergent style way at the beginning and i'm
thinking this is going
to be a long walk but then we start walking around l.a for about three and a
half hours and i'm learning
crazy things i'm seeing my neighborhood in a new light getting crazy history
and they're doing a
downtown walk and i'm thinking maybe i want to go do this walk
oh downtown would be fun i bet well there's this we live in a very interesting
city nate just put it
that way what did you learn did they go back all the way to indigenous time