Name: The Government Shutdown [teaser]
Uploaded: 2025-11-13T11:00:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Government Shutdown [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-13. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Government Shutdown [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-13. Transcript available. Watch the whole thing at https://www.patreon.com/joytactics.

joy tactics take two take two um thousands of government employees deemed non-essential
have been furloughed temporarily put on unpaid leave but not all aspects of
government stop
during a shutdown federal law you take that again let's say that again yeah go
for it
um but not all aspects of government stop during a shutdown federal law
enforcement are expected
to operate as usual social security and medicare oh i i don't even know this
word can you guys help
me out let's have this in the chat if you guys know how to pronounce this word
i will fucking
i'm i'm feeling confident about this i will do anything for you have you ever
no no no no no no no there's no way
what what on earth man hold on to the listeners but you know what that word
means
no you ever seen that word yeah exactly and it's not it's not check c h e c k i
will say
it's c h e q u e s have you ever seen that word in your fucking entire life i've
i've not but is it
followed by and balances no it's followed by medicare checks are still
distributed well you know what's
going on is this a canadian website you know what's going on this is the bbc
the bbc.com
so they spelled it british style so this is a cultural difference and not an
intelligence issue
that's what i'm finding here right right cultural intelligence hey let me rip
one okay ready
yeah this is uh okay
the longest government shutdown in u.s history appears to be nearing its end
after a senator
suddenly advanced a funding deal over the weekend for 40 days of little
progress the legislation passed
the senate on monday now heads to the house before going to president donald
trump's desk in the
meantime pain continues to grow for americans on everything from food
assistance to air travel
pretty good pain that was flawless that was absolutely flawless okay you guys
ready you want to
this is the big ant news at six o'clock this is bobby spatula good evening
police have surrounded a house
in east london following reports of a lone gunman seen riding on the back of a
pygmy goat welfare experts
have been put on standby and snipers are now in position in adjacent streets
ready to neutralize the
gunman should he decide to quit riding and start shooting are you reading mad
libs well i'm reading a
teleprompter test oh wow passed with flying colors no no single hiccups
congratulations yeah now watch
eminem get up on the beat you want rap god to do the teleprompter watch this
the house officially
returned to washington dc on wednesday to hold his new first scroll that's just
a fast accent you're not
saying the words any faster the fast accent that's so true it's like that was
like the the an audio
optical uh illusion an auditory illusion reminds me of the fourth dimension oh
don't get started man
he started tripping my brain up the last time after you described i have no
idea what you said about
the dimensions like there there was a cube involved and then there was nate
just really brief one
dimension is a line you see what i'm saying when you when it's the second
dimension you're turning 90
degrees now we have x and a y axis now we're gonna go into the third dimension
ready z space okay
now turn another 90 degrees what does that equal 270 right this is the last
available 90 before entering
into a perfect circle so this is the point at which in 3d space you're seeing
inexplicable motion
because things are moving in and outside of the boundaries of three dimensions
oh interesting
all right i'll i'll tell you what on your lunch breaks at 30 rock go to the plaza
set up a little
sandwich board and say ask me ask me about my knowledge ask me about my
dimensional knowledge
and then see what producers come by and start to promote you immediately
and give you your own sketch show with neil degrasse tyson
oh my god cnn plus online key and peel special theories oh my god key and peel
special theories
what'd you say that's what i said i know it's not going to make sense no it
does not involved
no well we'll get them on board there'll be a show that's starring you called
key and peel special
theories
so what those are fictional characters just wondering before we send out the
documentation they didn't
want to call it keeping it peel
hey why am i so tired this morning can't even just begin to understand why well
it's 7 30 from our
workout i am dude are you really fucking sore dude we're jack we're kind of
starting to hit uh
exercise in a different way again oh fuck yeah i would love i would love to
know more about that
well you know how they do in the military ruck ruck ruck ruck walks or
something like this
ruck ruck ruck ruck pushing a big heavy ruck on your back ruck and then you run
around well we put
on our 20 pounds to it man i'm worried about it we're putting bags over our
fucking back and
just and don't do that jogging the slowest you could possibly jog so slow so
before like this is a
completely a workout that's only for testing your joints this is a joint-based
workout
you're having me pass with flying colors well good for y'all for rucking thank
you man i hit the
incline but uh dumbbells i'm back on dumbbells yo where are you going to work
out man i told you
they accepted me into equinox they accepted me and guess what yeah what i'm
putting up the 70s
you like that on the incline on the incline oh for crazy amounts of reps holy
shit are you going solo yeah airpods in yeah but are people fine as a
motherfucker in equinox oh
yeah finer than a motherfucker no because i imagine in my head it's like
the sexual just what the the branding of equinox does to me because when i
think of equinox i think
of the finest fucking people on planet earth people that are almost ai hot you
know what i'm saying
you think you're in the miss new booty music video exactly i found you equinox
please tell me is there
a miracle plunge in the in the locker room no man i would say i hate to talk
that's hilarious dude
equinox is not you know i i'm i'm i don't want to besmirch the name of an
amazing company with an
amazing board of investors but what i do want to say is the one at 30 rock is
slightly busted
let me say this about equinox man they have a old mindset when it comes to
style they have the kind of 2016 clean soulless mindset oh we like it black and
bright up in our
in this space you know what i'm saying we like it clean yeah why don't you come
on over to
the los angeles athletic club or come over to the y and see what's there's real
soul in those gyms
okay history sometimes it might be cluttered yeah sometimes the equipment might
be a little busted
but there's a lot of wood in there there's a lot of old people mm-hmm mm-hmm
soul
do you guys fear this that we are getting out of touch who us yeah in what's
interesting is this
out of touch what a peculiar concept because you are always touching as
somebody who's spent a lot
of time inside of sensory deprivation tanks for spiritual study i know that
there's no such thing
as not touching anything right right so what i'm saying is as you become out of
touch you become closer
with another touch which yeah are we getting out of touch with the fucking
loser past that we have and in
touch with gyms that cost upward of 180 a month and the community that comes
when you're when you're
living that lifestyle yeah then i am i just i just fear that if we're if we're
going down this path that
the group mansion that we all buy together in our late 40s whoa now slow down
there horsey that was only
but a teaser just a little taste of what i can only assume is one of the most
fire podcast episodes ever
heard over to patreon dot com joy tactics now to unlock this crazy ass episode
while simultaneously
getting in at the ground floor of an exclusive community of like-minded
individuals using positivity
to change the world cheers