Name: Retail Therapy | Ep. 148
Uploaded: 2025-12-01T10:01:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Retail Therapy | Ep. 148' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Retail Therapy | Ep. 148' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-01. Transcript available.

Retail Therapy | Ep. 148

eric before we get started just tell just say again what you just told me about
uh thanksgiving
and i have been eating so crazy and um and in my mind i'm even like tamping it
down i'm like i'm
not going crazy i'm not going for seconds but it's just been so much salty food
so many dinners out
with family in town amazing thanksgiving dinner and then last night was lao's
birthday and we went
crazy for that with food and i went into the bathroom last night and felt like
i wanted to
scream i wanted to like i was so full i wanted to let it out via screaming i've
never heard of
somebody being that full that they want to like shout out to the world like
that that must be a
new level dude it was it's it's one of the worst feelings being too full it's a
torturous torturous
torturous the last time i was way too full was
luckily i think it's been like uh was it with me a year no it was not
where was it was at the olive garden and i got like the unlimited like
with your family no just with with jane we went and uh just with jane and your
laptop
jane and my laptop yeah you shut up girl just eat your food and i'm gonna get
to work
what yeah one piece the one piece anime dubbed studying it
frame by frame um yeah that was crazy because like with the breadsticks
salad with the unlimited pasta i mean i really like overindulged there
and that was like that was like a kms sort of vibe walking out of there oh dude
what i did last night is i went outside and jumped on our trampoline
for about 400 jumps
and i wanted to throw up but it made me feel so much better
made me feel much it was it was like using gravity to digest the food right
is that what you're thinking exactly well yeah that and working the lymphatic
system draining that um many many things went into that choice
getting drained
milking milking myself milking all my systems
looking them of their toxic juices full system milking
welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things joyful
joyous and meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible
hosted by eric rahill nate veroni and jack bensinger
enjoy
so it's another duo today isn't it nate do we need to acknowledge this
well yeah i guess so i guess we could
what do we what can we even say what can we begin to say it's the podcast is
falling apart um that's all there's that's that's what's happening you guys are
right it's fucking coming to an end uh we can't keep this together just enjoy
it
enjoy it now enjoy these last couple whatever just just really soak it in be
present enjoy this yeah because man i don't even know what's
gonna happen with joy tactics i know because either it's you and i are
fucking fighting like crazy behind the scenes or
both of us are fighting with jack or it's hard to keep track of what's
happening but it's a lot of bickering a lot of argument we need to do fucking
molly therapy dude all of us do molly together in a room where we're touching
each other rubbing each other's arms telling each other how much we love each
other i appreciate you so much i'm so fucking glad we started this fucking
empire
do you have are you like secure enough with yourself that you would live stream
yourself on a like
on like an overdose of molly in a pad absolutely not i would never dude i would
never in a straight
jacket too wow wow watching a fun experience um yeah
by the way i did just watch uncle buck by myself for the first time two nights
ago
i'm kind of no dude this is what yeah i needed to take care of myself
um self-care self-care via uh entertainment media but uh i i i i don't know i
don't know about that
movie i haven't seen it since i was like you know a child so i don't even i don't
even remember
if i liked it you know i remember my mom didn't let us watch it because my
maybe my dad wanted to
show us and i was watching i was starting kicked it off and i was like i was so
fucking sheltered my
mom didn't let us see anything and i'm watching it i'm like jesus christ there's
a lot of a bad words
foul language two b i mean a b there's like three like kind of rapey like jokes
scenes
illusions pretty intense subject matter for a child just put it that way john hughes
was putting intense
subject matters in this maybe it was intended to entertain the whole family in
my mind that's like
a family movie right yeah you would think that you would but family values have
changed is what i'm
learning well yes yeah yes they have that experience with um pulp fiction i was
watching on tv over the
week weekend and uh man that is there's some there's some crazy shit in that
movie
oh yeah oh talk about bad language specifically a quentin tarantino oh dude he
he's fucking
swears like a sailor man he writing that script
no he's in it and he says uh some pretty crazy oh right when they go to his
house
damn i haven't seen that yeah i popped it on on that exact scene and i was like
jesus christ i
forgot that like quentin just kind of goes there quentin what are the chances
that you and me will
ever interact with quentin tarantino i would god that would be so fucking
incredible dude what roles
could we possibly play i think he said he has one more movie he's gonna do one
final
i know movie so i mean it's not it's not out of the realm of possibility that
we're
all three of us are the stars of his new you know yeah he'd be so pissed at us
the whole time
fuck
he was supposed to do a star trek movie and then he uh didn't work out can you
imagine how cool that
would have been fuck that's crazy and you know david lynch was supposed to do
the third star wars
movie no return of the jedi are you serious yeah what the fuck weird ass shit
would happen there
god only knows man god only knows man yoda would just be played by
an actual tiny person no makeup maybe just green maybe just green no fucking uh
prosthetics
um dude uh should we do a minute on yoda on his origins or do you want to move
on let's move on
we can't do that right do you want to but thank you for asking man i really
appreciate that
checking in should we do a minute on yoda's origins
well we're talking about retail today obviously if you didn't know by now yeah
it's the um it's the reason for the season a lot of people say that
jesus christ is the reason for the season but it's shopping it's shopping open
your fucking eyes for
one fucking second right you know that it's about money as a as are a lot of
things i'm realizing
so you finally read that fucking one page i said that i wrote that's what i've
been doing at christmas
instead of gifts i go to my friend's house open the box put the printed out one
pager
on american corporate greed laminated yeah they put my venmo handle at the
bottom
so they pay you for your gift they should man that put labor into that real
labor
wow
dude bro i'm getting so many spam texts lately i think it's a friend texting i
think it's a random
number maybe a job opportunity no it's neiman marcus trying to hit me up dude i
just got uh be i
just want to say beware to everyone because i had a charge on my credit card
for a luxury rental car
what seven hundred dollars who got your details i don't know but i'm i'm just
saying and then jane
got her shit uh hacked into like last week did you change the card i'm like
please tell me you
change the course
no i'm an informant now they're the chase bank is using me as a mole to to get
closer to this person
so they're they're keeping the card active and they want me to you know you
guys you should do a mr
and mrs smith where you were working with the bank and then jane hits up the scammers
starts working
with the scammers and then you work with systems yep yeah shit for yes money i'm
wondering do they
actually do you think they're actually going after these fuckers no i think it's
a system i think this
is all built into if i can destroy the middle class
because in my head i'm like they're like i get my money back the the person
gets you know
gets to rent a fucking lamborghini for two days and nothing happens you know
where was the rental where
did it uh where did it go down uh it was in la so damn so someone fucking sniped
you from the
whatever you got your shit you know any any they got my back man as they always
do
all it takes is one barista to take you a little too close to the card numbers
with the i put them a little what are you doing there man
nothing man hold on
do you ever think when you're putting in your pin number like somebody's kind
of like behind you like
just kind of hovering over my mom guarded the fuck out of her pin so hard every
time we went to the
grocery store anywhere i was about to why are the boomers so afraid of being
like
like hacked into because it's like nothing bad has ever happened to them except
for vietnam
and 9 11. dude i i did an audiobook for the way back from lake tahoe and it was
like uh did you have
headphones in and jane was listening to the music yeah headphones blue noise
canceling headphones while
driving and uh and jane could listen to the radio what was that she listened to
a little bit of it but
then she put on her headphones it was almost like a it was almost like that is
so funny to me
i it was a long drive you can't be we can't be like in in perfect harmony with
what we were
listening to you know so much until a little bit but this is a uh i'm on your
side go ahead
this is a hold on let me look up the exact do you know david baldacci is that
author was he did the
the book about rome maybe hold on let me look at this so this i feel like this
is an author that
is if you go to any like yes bookstore in an airport like this guy is gonna be
there you know
what i'm saying kind of like the the john grisham yeah like uh the nicholas
sparks like this guy's
always gonna have a book out and it's and it seems like he just writes a book
like two books a year
you know yeah and i put on i was just looking on spotify and i was like i'm
just gonna roll the
dice with a random which one did you do let me guess let me guess let me guess
okay so here's some
titles right absolute power the 620 man zero day the last mile long shadows uh
i should have done
absolute power that sounds incredible simple genius let's see
i think that you put on let me go to one of his classics i think you put on the
camel club
wrong but that does sound incredible i put on nash falls his latest joint the
freshest the freshest
baldacci possible so i want to know what he's working with what was 2025 does
he still got it
okay does he does he i was i like could not get a read if i was like this is a
good book you know
what i'm saying it was here's the plot of it nash isn't actually i'm just gonna
say
i'm just gonna say it was not for me okay but but i but i started listening to
it and i was like
two hours in and i was like this audio book is like seven hours and that's like
the total of the
drive so i'm just gonna plow through you know did you finish it the sad thing
is is that i did not
finish it but i but i was listening to it the whole way so i'm not like an epic
kind of cliffhanger
where i don't know how it ends but i think i think you owe it to yourself this
holiday season to finish
i will i will because and i'm looking at the cover here and it says large print
so it's definitely like people over the age of 70 the demographic for this is
like
a man a white guy in his 50s who's like probably a year away from retirement
even like two months away from retirement and the book is about a it starts
with a funeral
and his father passes away his father was in vietnam vietnam veteran i've seen
this
yeah he's unexpectedly approached by the fbi in the middle of the night
yep to take down a i didn't know it was going to get this far but it was like
it was like the company he's working for some like hedge fund or something
and his company is like somehow involved in the like fentanyl crisis in america
and they're about to
like and it's of course china's involved and the fbi is trying to like you know
this is book one of two
by the way are you kidding there's a sequel there's a