Name: The 2025 Tactee's | Ep. 152
Uploaded: 2025-12-29T11:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The 2025 Tactee's | Ep. 152' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The 2025 Tactee's | Ep. 152' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-29. Transcript available.

The 2025 Tactee's | Ep. 152

i do have a tie next year i have nothing
ladies and gentlemen and everybody of all species we welcome you now 2025 gubernatorial
joy tactitious tech what is it called the tactic detect the tactees the tactees
yeah
the tactees the annual award show you fucking get it host it just keep that
music on for a second
yeah the whole for that whole app now well please welcome your host
jack the white monster menzinger nate the lebanese monster uh varon and eric
the white
monster ray hill and eric the white monster asterisk dad was adopted ray hill
so not
sure if there's something interesting in there right god knows there's a one
percent cherokee
sitting in the wings god knows yeah i think so at least some ashkenazi now let's
proceed
welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things joyful joyous and
meeting as
many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric ray hill nate veroni and
jack bensinger enjoy
okay so i feel like an award show starts out i hate to say it but we're kind of
like
a little song and dance a little presentation god i wish we had a real we
should have gone all
out for a fucking monologue wait it's still going oh my god
oh oh this is when billy crystal comes on the stage well costume as a janitor
it's been a crazy year
this year was a dumpster fire worse than 26 2016 was a dumpster fire let's just
say somebody must
put trash all over the whole earth and lit that shit right well for some though
because for some this
year was awful and hell and horrible things happened of course for others it
was at one of the best
years you could imagine for their careers and most most award shows do and in
memoriam we're gonna do a
slide show of people that were shocked they're still alive that's right well
who is one of them for you
who's someone that you're shocked is still alive michael came for me yeah yeah
jesus christ uh anthony
hopkins he kind of feels like somebody who's on the way out that who just
turned 100 didn't someone
just turn 100 dick van dyke oh he's oh he's oh he's on a knife's edge hey he's
like he's like
confronting uh mortality in a very publicly dick van dyke if you're a listener
right now keep going
keep it up man i'll get to 115 how long you can get to get to the 127 club you're
here do you guys
know that i knew sister jean man rest in peace who's sister jean man who is
that sister jean
sister jean sister jean was like the mascot of loyal university chicago she was
an old why would
we know that huh was she like a famous like yeah we know that man famous oh to
anyone who watches
basketball dude because oh my god right loa kind of came up uh back in like
2016
15 maybe and sister jean who is 90 and old as fuck was at every single game and
she became the
mascot bro and then she lived all the way to being my religion is not a mascot
she's just a person my religion is not a mascot write that on your hand mate is
not a mascot
george bush does not care about college basketball
interesting my religion is not a mascot is such a like a malaysian uh t-shirt
uh idea
malaysian prince can we please move to malaysia and open a fucking the most
fire custom t-shirt shop
custom tees yeah and a hoagie shop right next door custom interesting english
tees with fucking
grinders and subs and hoagies on demand and nate would take a fucking
kawasaki ninja around malaysia with the subs not knowing how to write it afraid
to get the license
constantly in and out of the worst jail in all of the eastern hemisphere
one fucking jail back again it's all flooded back again back again wait
speaking of basketball
have you guys ever seen that guy mk he's one of those guys who like mk ultra
virals no he does
viral basketball like one one v one type of things there's like a big crowd
around him and he's like
one of those guys who's all disrespectful and he like pulls the person's shirt
over their head and
like throws the ball at their head and whatnot i don't like that well i'm
saying nate would be very
wise to start a channel like that where you're just like so violent in the in
the philippines
yes all inexplicably all over the world
oh but sister jean i need to say this i'm coming a little tiny ass bit for
sister jean's legacy
hey just in the way she deserves everything i hope no one gets mad at me but
she was
kind of mean to me because she would be better oh i saw her every day because
she would be at the
shuttles from the north campus to the downtown campus she'd be at the downtown
campus handing out
scripture in the one day and i was kind of on my atheist shit back then even
though i went to a
jesuit uh university for no reason and i was like i don't need the scripture
today actually because i had
just been throwing them away and i felt bad and she was like interesting i don't
know if she said
interesting but that was her vibe and from then on by the way i was marked as
unsafe by sister jean
why did you choose loyola in chicago i because you were a journalism major but
like i'm just curious
what went into that decision there was a girl who i went to high school with
who went there
and she was doing theater and i went out a year like in the spring to visit
chicago and visited the
theater program and had the most busted night of my life with all the theater
kids getting like faded
and i was like yep i think i'll be heading here for college you know you could
you had no idea you
could just do that anywhere at any college in the well yeah but did chris farley
ascend comedically
in the city in seattle washington no i think in chicago so that's why i went
out there to pursue my
career honestly bro i hate to be mr me too but when i fucking visited
university of north carolina school
of the arts yeah knowing about the legacy of mr mcbride and the crew of course
respect and i was like you
know what let me take a break from taking community college classes and
directing rap videos to go
see spend a night over here to fucking chase dubose and those shout out chase
merry christmas to the
tall man um but guess what yeah i went there and they like the whole thing at
that crew at that school
is like yo how many hours did you crew this year it's like yo so everybody's
work 900 million so you
gotta get to work that's all that somebody in the subreddit was like what does
eric why does eric keep
referencing by the way that video with i i wish i just had a lisp there but i
wish that sachin was in
nicky minaj's ear right now oh you got the fucking truth so fucking crazy with
trump what does that
conference call oh truth truth uh turning point was she at turning point i did
not know that
turning point usa conference nicky nicky minaj evil manaj rapunzel rapunzel
damn you really locked in i saw him in your face nate that was really good yeah
yeah
yep it's a full body you know sort of thing for me all right let's get to the
fucking awards wait
really quick i want to say yesterday i i wasn't really drinking but i whenever
i'm with one of my
brothers there i try to get my brother wasted all right why is that what that's
this eric i just
want to let you know you do that with everybody in your life why why yeah that's
every person in
your life you are ever trying to do that's like anybody greatest hope that
sounds so bad by the way
that sounds so bad no no it's kind of a jolly thing imagine it as being jolly
and cherubic of course
did you get him did you see succeed i made him about five hot toddies and
also you're the older brother half the bottle of
oh that's funny are your parents like concerned about either of you
uh my mom definitely is like eyeing the bottle as i'm pouring it
she's jealous she's jealous bro okay so we have the way this award show works
is we don't know we've all came up with right categories four seconds there's
no there's no
clear winner we're just going to kind of discuss who we think the winners are
and then maybe we'll
decide on one of them um but uh yeah i'll just start i guess hold on hold on
jack you were excited too
i got seven six category ideas okay um one moment holding for eric
by the way this is gonna be yeah 2025
categories
we're just listing off the categories yeah i think we should listen now list
from eric rail from eric
rail most interesting political moment nominees you know that one moment that
we all saw in september
with the gun trump doing his thing with the tariffs oh you have nominees too i
didn't even have
uh no i'm doing nominees in the moment uh nikki minaj becoming a political
figure uh and that's it for
now let me think about some more what's this song from
do you guys have funny if the oscars started with naming all the categories of
the oscars
no award shows ever started that way they have all the nominees and categories
that would be kind of
nice you get them all out of the way and then it's just like you know what you're
getting you do know
what you're getting that's true that's true so um okay you have a category you
want to list i have a
i have a category but okay let me all right ready yeah but i don't know i mean
this is all right
hey everybody i'm here to present the award for most missed words of the year i
would like to do an
honorable mention before the podcast started rolling today nate varone you
fucking tried to say
turban i did not i did not at all i'll tell you trying to say i said toboggan
anyways i'll tell the
fuck that i had a dream i had a dream literally not even like two hours ago
that i uh right before i
woke up i had a dream that i was in like a macy's or something like that and uh
on the table was two
bottles of cologne and they were eric's cologne and there was a purple one and
sort of a dark
uh a darker one and that the i looked at the label and it said bj velour
i was like really curious of like eric is eric always smells good let me smell
his cologne
and i smelled this one and i was like this does not smell like eric you know
this isn't the thing i'm
smelling and then uh and then eric rolls up in the parking lot and he has like
sunglasses on and a big
ass like camouflage toboggan which i i you guys thought i said turban but um
what was it
no i said toboggan so is it actual sled on my head no a toboggan is like what i'm
wearing right now
like this bro what is that can't be true are we wrong toboggan this is a toboggan
right
yeah is that is jane jane saying yeah she's confirming this is look up toboggan
on why is
she laughing this is what you're gonna see man jack hey jack hey jack time to
take some humility pills
i just just looked it up i'm googling toboggan too and i'm seeing a bunch of
fucking sleds
what are y'all looking up google says it's either a sled or a hat all right
exactly well guess what
nate all right you're right well guess what nate guess what you're right but at
the same time you just
fucking fell out of the category you just lost the nomination for most mispronounced
word
or wrongest word what is okay so that's the category most mispronounced word of
the
and honestly here i'm not probably gonna would win that um i think so but i can't
remember any of
them so if you won you just know who you know that you did it's one of the
three of us category
that's that's a teaser category because we don't have any answers right a lot
of mine might be
okay play the music i got a category
we'll do a bit too okay how about me me and eric will be presenting and i'll be
like my back will
be to the camera and you'll be like um you have to turn around the camera's
behind you that's good
and the 2025 has been uh yeah dude turn around yeah we're on camera and your
face the wrong way bro
what the hell the bits are always fucking terrible at the awards so that was
just my shout out to that
wow that felt cool we're on out the 2025 sexiest chick of the year award oh
oh yeah there's a lot we're talking bro there's a lot of there was a lot of
chicks
who are the nominees i would say every chick on the planet is up for this award
this is one of the
biggest uh nominee pool ever in any category for any award because every chick
on the