Name: Football | Ep. 155
Uploaded: 2026-01-19T11:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Football | Ep. 155' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Football | Ep. 155' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-19. Transcript available.

Football | Ep. 155

here we go here we go hut hut hut hut hut um yeah hut hut what are you saying
that for hut hut
peanut red no more self-promo dude that's enough man i didn't make that up that's
from
fucking that's from housewives of real housewives um no but what well we're
getting into the topic
football aren't we and hut hut is something that they say right when they yeah
who says that the
quarterback when he needs the ball hut hut yeah that's who says that i think so
i think that was
more than like the 19 like 15 era like 1920s bro you don't think they say hut
hut now when's the last
time they're on the field i don't go to the football field i foot give foot
guys foot uh foot guys on
the field all uh foot jobs like you on the football field i don't know what i
was trying to say
welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all things joyful joyous and
meeting as many
celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rahill nate veroni and jack bensinger
enjoy
um well you know what we need to address this real quick just because um our
last the the last bonus
episode was it yeah so we recorded an emergency episode um a week ago on sunday
thinking you know
responsibly like hey we used to do this like not you know we i feel like we
were better about this
we'd have like a couple in the bank just in case we couldn't record and we were
like okay let's get
another emergency episode and this will be great we'll use it in like two
months down the line we'll
probably forget we even had it and then there'll be a something happens where
we can't record and
we'll be like you know what dude we remember that emergency episode we had five
months ago yeah let's
use that and what happens we just all forgot to record an episode two days
later we didn't two days later
our schedules conflicted no we forgot it was a complete we fully could have we
really did
but here's what i'll say three years ago when we were recording all those extra
episodes we had
nothing to do and we were all on the precipice of giving up on life right now
we have a lot to do
and we're right on the edge of giving it up anyways yes and jack that's right
tell the audience how
much you just won on a slot spin no because i want to encourage gambling he won
six hundred sixty six
dollars now doesn't that well what are you gonna say now hold on a second now
hold on i wanted to
bring up that number because that number's um you know the connotations with
that right that's not
god giving you that win right that's the that's the uh red devil red peanut
devil at least someone's
got my back that's all i gotta say if god ain't gonna give me a win i'm gonna
go this is how jesus
was born this is how the devil was born wasn't it if the devil gave you dude us
eight thousand
dollars to join the dark side would you do it i know you do that shit
immediately
what's the fucking jacket look like for a fucking nine dollar uh iced americano
dude
a nine dollar americano black the jacket is red black it's got the hurley logo
on the back
for hell that's the original hell logo is the h that wavy h
uh well here's the thing football players have made deals with the devils
oh most definitely oh you know what i just accidentally stumbled upon the
plot of that that movie him
remember is that what that's about i think it's about i think it's about that i
think marlon
wayans plays the the devil the illuminati oh god i don't know maybe that's a
deal with i need to
re-watch it i forgot there needs to be a dance with the devil immortal
technique uh modernizing
but it would be about joining the fucking proud boys
i once knew this man named william all right i'll drop it
you know immortal technique commented on one of my videos once what did he say
what the hell get
that comment tattooed was it a mr sim video yeah yeah isn't that incredible
what did he say
what did he say what did he say oh hell no but i forget i for i totally forget
what he said but
he he commented on one of them damn that's awesome we are so close to the a-list
we are so
if i can close to the people that run oh
we're banging on the glass doors please let please let us in please sir and madams
how many
football players can we name josh allen bo nicks these are damn darnold damn eric
who else who else who the hell i'll give you a couple i mean payton man ocho
sinko yeah
uh michael you ready for ball knowledge ball knowledge rg3 if you know you know
what is that
tom bray oh interesting thomas tom brady i have a bone to the front and let me
kiss you
he's so good looking you know what i'm saying like like he's the quarterback he's
the he's
the i i don't know much about football but people say he's the greatest of all
time i don't know if
that's just like his team putting that out there but he's definitely one of the
best quarterbacks to
ever do it and he's like he's so like traditionally good looking and he's the
quarterback and he's and he's
the greatest quarterback of all time like what it's it it it kind of pisses me
off i wish he was a
little ugly you know what i'm saying like you just can't have all that going on
right well you know
that maybe it's jealous size of a fingernail uh no i'm gonna say nate if you're
ever doing an event
with him i would say don't wear basketball shorts bro because you're gonna be
in trouble
if you get within five feet of his ass and smell his natural cologne yeah
wearing anwan basketball shorts in front of tom brady again
all fucking bulged out bricked up
out of respect bricked up in the five years it seems oh
he's so good looking he just defies gender you know what i'm saying you just
got to be like
that's just like a beautiful man you know what i'm saying manning this is a
reference for all the
young adult sci-fi fantasy fans if there were golds in real life talking about
red rising
uh payton what's his name fucking tom brady would be a goal tom brady be from
the gold class
that's just a reference for the readers the young adult readers that listen to
this podcast
okay um you guys are both quarterbacks right i'm gonna ask you a question you're
down 900 points
now let's say that you're down you're down um you're down three points right
uh right and you're at the 40 yard line right in range of the field goal but
you want
if you're down three you can make the field goal and tie the game right and go
into overtime
or right you could say i'm gonna put and it's the it's the fourth down right or
you could put all
your faith in one of the fucking either yourself as the quarterback uh wide
receiver or the running
back to run the ball do you run it or pass it or do the field goal
none i'm fucking digging a hole in the ground that goes to the the end zone
goes with my cleats
all right so you need you're more kind of geared up for the xfl do you guys
know the xfl is
do you guys know you could definitely get away with that shit in the xfl there's
no rules
uh they haven't thought about that in the rule book you know
um wait the xfl is back oh no no it was dwayne the right johnson brought it
back for three years in
2020 and 2023 and it didn't survive so what makes it so extreme that's this for
those who don't know
the xfl stands for extreme football league what the fuck made it extreme i don't
know this
was it that they were doing extreme sports i think you can like punch and kick
and like uh gouge
no they were doing the uff cl fnfl the league was founded by vince mcmahon mince
mick
that's how that league would get from mince mick that league would take off if
um if if they could in install sort of like a hockey style fight that happens
and there's
like a pillar that raises up and it goes up to the middle of the stadium and
two
fucking titan football players lock horns horn lockers and did you guys did you
guys play football
growing up just wondering never no just one never even never even wanted to
either no i didn't either
that's a scary one getting smacked around getting it's a scene and you know nate
our asses at least
would have been put we would have been linemen you know what i mean oh for sure
yeah yeah and we
would i would have been too afraid to tackle anybody for show unless we maybe
what we needed was a taste of
blood you see what i'm saying have you guys been to a professional football
game before
once in my life i went to a seahawks game what was the energy like were you
were you at of age where
you could i went with my pastor and his son who i was trying to become friends
with
had actually that same pastor he was he was kind of like a stiff guy and we
were driving to the game
and he was like what do you want to be when you grow up and i was like i think
i want to be a lawyer
and he was like yeah i don't think you're gonna be a lawyer
he was like i don't think you have what it takes is that is that what you would
say to adults when
they're like what do you want to be when you grow up yeah i said lawyer lawyer
for about eight years
wow jack what was your career your your early childhood career
uh i think when i was hella young yeah podcaster influencer male model
but i wanted to be a dentist you know something really i liked the dentist as a
little ass kid
you like teeth huh and mouths
i'm interested and i'm appreciate the uh use cases for teeth let's just say
that
Nate what were you telling people i want to be like a mickey mouse
i had two early careers one of them was to be a uh a a baseball player that hit
the most home runs
um ever what i would lay in my bed at night yeah okay that's where you're daydreaming
i was laying in bed at night and dream of hitting 86 home runs in a season
who who would have that who would that have proved wrong
like it was everyone everyone your parents your sister oh dude the people that
are putting me in
the fucking outfield when i was in playing fucking rec league baseball they're
putting me in left field
and right field and i was like dude they're putting me at the fucking eight in
the lineup i'm like
dude i'm a clean up hitter bro what are you doing you're putting me in these
dog
shit positions like
bro and here's gonna hit a tbt
here's a real quick just a lesson yes just just real quick there oh my bad i
was on a rec league
baseball team they put me in the outfield they weren't believing in me okay and
then i moved to a
different school and there wasn't enough kids like on the that were good enough
so i had to play first
base and i had to be the cleanup hitter and you know what happened i fucking
rocked that
fucking shit and i stepped up to the plate just because they fucking believed
in me sometimes the
most unlikely heroes are born out of necessity and that is where we thrive us
three underestimated
seen as weak but are actually the opposite wait jack what's the tbt you had to
throw back thursday
yeah well i was trying but uh it's similar to what eric was saying with the
being doubted as a child
and i may have mentioned this on here before when i was a senior in high school
and we had to i don't
know how the fuck this is possible we were doing an english class we were doing
a project on something
i can't remember and this is a teacher who had a previously sent me to the
principal's office for
not standing for this national anthem because i wasn't going to fucking have it
after what i heard
about christopher hitchens and richard dawkins and then basically i was like i'm
going to do a paper
on quantum physics because i wanted to prove him that dumbasses who don't get
it
fucking c's can are actually smart and he literally was like
you don't understand how difficult quantum physics is yeah right you're not
going to do a paper
that's funny and then did you do it i don't think so
i remember one time i watched one afternoon i watched that pbs thing and this
was like must
have been 2007 on quantum mechanics and i started feeling like i could see the
universe so different
like when you think pokemon are real yeah if there's fucking quarks all over
all around here
but what really is going on that is my question what i mean we joke but really
what is
