Name: Evilness [teaser]
Uploaded: 2026-02-12T11:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Evilness [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Evilness [teaser]' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-12. Transcript available.

joy tactics
it just sounds like a regular laugh
yeah well that's the most
well disguised evil film of all time
right
you fool
damn this fucking car won't shut up
man
that is gonna be a
a whole episode
can you say something
say something to the car please
what am I supposed to shout through the wall of my house
why just ask why are you
honking
alright
can I wait for it to happen again
yeah
okay I'll wait
um
so
back to evil
wow
oh great
Jesus fucking Christ
watch this
this is how you do it in New York
yo shut the fuck up
I'll tell you what
telling someone or something
to shut the fuck up
is
maybe the funniest thing on the planet to do
the problem with me though
is I'm not able to say it
in a command
it's always been a pleading thing
yeah
yeah
oh dude
I can say shut up
with the
oh this is
shut up
this is a crazy beginning of an
episode
this is a bonus ep
this is a bonus ep too
Jesus Christ
oh my god
we're echoing
okay here's the situation
what's happening
there's a school bus
parked
on our block
so you just told a bunch of children
to shut the fuck up
no they
clearly it's a rogue school bus
that got hijacked by an evil
but yeah
I may have to scream that
by an evil
evil villain
no it's
it's
what's funny is
there's no kids on it
and this is spooky
the school bus
there's another school bus
trying to get around
the first school bus
but the first school bus
is empty
what if they're all shrunken
and Miss Frizzle
is the
the bus driver
oh bro
and they're inside
or perhaps
this is like
the town situation
and actually
it's a bunch of
robbers laying down
waiting to go
take out the chase bank
on Atlantic Avenue
at the Barclays
Nate has a new
witch's brew laugh
that I've been liking
that I've been begging
you guys
to do it again
Nate
that makes a fellow
want to play
Banjo-Kazooie
yeah
oh that green
witch
wow
are witches evil
or are they just
misunderstood
well
look to Hermione
don't look for too long
though
what do you mean by that
I don't mean no
can I just say
something
can I just say
something
yeah
just
just
often times
on this podcast
these are the
first sentences
I've said
in the entire
day
to anybody
maybe
maybe mostly
because we do this
so early in the morning
and I just want that
to be a preface
that you can keep that
in the back of your mind
that this is
I'm still in a sleep state
well
is what I want to say
I want to say this
Jack mentioned before
he said we're kneecapping
ourselves by doing this
first thing in the morning
I
I think
there's something
to the morning
fog
that I like
I'm just waking up
with the tactician
because often times
I bet the joy tactic
listeners are just
waking up as well
damn
I need to think
about it that way
I'm waking up
with an army
of tacticians
oh shit
guiding me on a
yeah
waking up with an army
from the future
because they're literally
in the future right now
true
that's crazy
yeah
I mean think about that
that's not normal
I was thinking more
speaking of
thinking about things
I was speaking with
somebody who won't be
mentioned
but
you guys know them
and
who is it
we were talking
well
it doesn't matter
god
it's fucking
bullshit man
honking
I'm sure you can't
hear it
but
it's honking
no no
we can't
we can barely
it's
I was thinking
about Epstein's
gravity
obsession
ah
evil
evil
evil
a legend
but what I'm saying
I already explained this
Jack
what more
what more is there
to know
bro I'm about to
just bring this shit
up for a little bit
back up
so
remember this machine
is it called a pendulum
it's got like
four
four balls
and it knocks into one
and then it goes up
boop
boop
boop
boop
boop
why
hello
have we not
harnessed infinite energy
already
because those balls
never stop
boink
boink
boink
all you gotta do
is put like
a fucking
band-aid
that absorbs
energy
with an electrical
wire off
of the middle
of the balls
when they smack
each other
and you're creating
energy
am I fucked up
endless kinetic energy
endless kinetic
you don't want to
mess with me
and my friends
are diabetic
oh
also I came up
with the free energy
fucking
device when I was
a very
I remember
actually the exact
place I was
I was outside
of a fucking
half price bookstore
all right
walking along
there
and I came up
I said what if
all the roads
was magnets
and all
the cars
had magnets
on the bottom
of them
and this is
and lo and
behold
this is how
a lot of
those high
speed trains
work
yeah
that's how
the Japanese
travel
I was the
first person
to come up
with that
by the way
interesting
then tell me
how I came
up with this
it's the wintertime
and I want to go
swimming in the ocean
but it's too
fucking cold
because I live
in the northwest
I tell my dad
why don't we
develop a
style of
chemical
tablet we can
put in the
water to make
that hot
so we can
go swimming
and he told
me to keep
thinking about
that
encouraging
words
yeah
all it takes
is a chemical
tablet
yeah I hear
you
I definitely
I mean it's
called an ice
cube
really
or a
red hot
metal orb
remember the
first time you
got something
red hot
yeah it
was
it was
the marshmallow
stick
marshmallow
poker
red hot
yeah
I remember
that
yeah
remember
those old
candies
the atomic
atomic
red
oh yeah
yeah
reds
remember
I was at
an old
lady's house
and she had
those and I
I was like
so nervous
to try it
because it
was so spicy
shaking
shaking
and putting
it turns out
this is pretty
cinnamon flavored
damn
that's awesome
a blast of
cinnamon right
to the
right to the
dome
whoa
oh yeah
the cinnamon
flavors are
exploding in
my mouth
I've never
tasted anything
like this
hey man
you're a little
angry in the
fucking cereal
commercial
what is this
where am I
where am I
get it off
of me
get the
cinnamon off
of me
I watched
Austin Powers
for the first
time last night
no way
no fucking
yes
because that
is the movie
I've brought
this up
many times
hanging out
with you
over a
decade of
friendship
and every
time that
you're like
oh I haven't
seen Austin Powers
every time I
look over to
you what
the hell
what are you
fucking kidding
me
what
so which
one did you
watch the
first one
yeah the
international
man of
mystery
Elizabeth
Helley's
sexy as fuck
up in that
piece
that's what
I'm saying
man is you
basically never
had a sexual
awakening
what was your
sexual awakening
my mom's
Oprah magazines
when I would
go to the
Dove commercial
ads that had
naked women of
all shapes and
sizes so yeah
I was
inclusive
from the
get-go
nice Jack
so the bus
is moved
whoa
now slow
down there
horsey
that was only
but a teaser
just a little
taste of what
I can only
assume is one
of the most
fire podcast
episodes ever
recorded
head over to
patreon.com
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cheers