Name: Quizzes | Ep. 159
Uploaded: 2026-02-16T11:01:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Quizzes | Ep. 159' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Quizzes | Ep. 159' from Joy Tactics on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-16. Transcript available.

Quizzes | Ep. 159

what's the capital of the united states washington dc next what's the next
capital of the united
states once seattle seattle the secondary capital secondary capital will be seattle
in the state will uh be renamed as cascada cascadia and washington yeah seattle
washington
yeah that makes sense what's the capital of washington seattle olympia well
yeah all right
well then it doesn't well then is it really it's got one of them non-obvious
capitals kind of like california sacramento it's like the fuck and now new york's
is albany
to fuck you know that's crazy it should be it should be the most obvious city
it should be
brooklyn downtown brooklyn specifically williamsburg oh yeah downtown brooklyn
dumbo
well if you can't tell by now we're gonna be getting into a lot of questions
out regarding
pencils out tacticians okay this is the this is a pop quiz this is most random
night at the museum
trivia i'm looking at a picture of ben stiller the question is who is this larry
ben stiller teddy
nick nick or gigantor welcome to joy tactics the podcast dedicated to all
things joyful joyous and
meeting as many celebrities as humanly possible hosted by eric rayhill nate veroni
and jack bensinger
enjoy i'm gonna guess no idea i think the character would be called nick not
larry okay yeah don't even
know if that's right all right all right well this is mostly picture-based so
yeah this quiz isn't gonna
work what country has the highest life expectancy as of 2026
uh papua new guinea three two one monaco monaco monaco monaco that's a nice
name dandachi
oh she got a sister what's the other dandachi elizabeth elizabeth and monaco
introducing
elizabeth and monaco dandachi come on down the steps ladies in an ai um uh
social media profile of the
dandachi family but dandachi twins sisters and then who are we
then who the hell are we in this equation i don't want to be a media managers
oh yeah yeah we're just
the managers right right the servants oh man elizabeth do you guys think you
could be a butler
yeah no no i mean i could try but i think i'm too lazy yeah i think i'm too i
feel too bad to be a
butler i don't know if that people would want me around like that like an old-timey
butler though
like with the okay if i was drugged out yeah hit the bubbler just start i don't
know why they
haven't modernized the butler because right now the butlers are stuck in about
the 1800s
but i think if you wanted to have a modern butler yeah give him a give him um
etni shoes some big campari and sweet vermouth and etni shoes have a making negronis
you see what
i'm saying right give him a a roku stick roku ultra stick and let him choose
all the best tv shows for
you you know what i'm saying give him some dipty cologne just spray him up make
him smell good
that is my that's my request actually because the next butler because we're all
about to have butlers
soon right robots humanoid robots right they're making them look like robots
and what they should
be doing is making them look like 96 year old men who are at the edge of death
you know you want
alfred i want alfred i want alfred and i want to be batman
and bane at the same time oh you're insane so you've lost your mind interesting
to know you finally
lost the story just a little teaser
getting your back blown out by a sexual alfred
oiled up definitely going to be happening too
alfred on peptides
luke's maxing alfred now who the fuck is this clavac clavac i know you know
what dude this
guy's been popping up i'm just like i don't want to know about this guy but he's
just like
popping up he was in jail or something and he's famous for looks maxing is that
oh great yeah more
of that please i want people who read books i don't care how they look i want
authors and
fucking creators not model not dumb models and is this guy even a fucking what's
his d i've looked
zero percent into this as well i think we can tell when somebody's aura is not
right to engage with
and he just seems like a guy in high school he doesn't even seem like
with some of the guys there's like a thing about them it's like okay
aiden ross i don't get what his thing is but he seems like hateful
and that's part of it but this this new guy just seems like he's maybe
it makes me feel old guy because the the clips that somebody one of my friends
sent me a clip
and it was like clavaclar or whatever the fuck his name is is
is uh gets look gets hype-mogged or something like that by a guy and i'm like
like if you ever high-mogged someone then hang it up what does that mean
what does someone in comes into frame that's taller than that's me and jack
every second of our lives
so mogging means and he's exposing sort of right you're getting means like
bro you are getting lower left corner mogged as
fuck right now neighbor on gets a lower left corner mogged
fuck yeah bro what's happening to the fucking world that's what i'm worried
about the modernization
i'm worried i'm worried obama said aliens are real did you see that yes of
course i saw
obama said obama has confirmed what i've known
for years let's just say that did you hear that aliens are real and he said
there are no underground
facilities uh yeah he said there's no area 51 he said there's no not an area 51
there's no
underground facilities say what there's death shut the fuck up dude they must
not be telling you guys
the the president this shit yeah wait so how does underground facilities so he
says they're real but
he says i haven't seen them i think that's bullshit too i think yeah he's just
covering his bases how
that guy that coffee cup keeps getting fuller and fuller
actually jane poured me a little bit more so magic there's many things going on
on that off camera
very very magical many things oh yeah almost everything yeah true what's
interesting is that
the joy tactics listeners this is all that they see of our lives are these
frames of our homes and in
this case a hotel room for jack but much goes on behind these frames that you
can't even imagine just
put it that way behind the frames uh those are your peter parker style glasses
jack peter pan
peter parker pickled a pepper hey i bought some pickles at the Philadelphia
farmer's market
yesterday did you eat them right then and there did you save them for the room
i'm saving them i got
baby gherkin spicy pickles sweet and spicy oh baby gherkin spicy pickles yeah i
wouldn't mind a fat
fucking sandwich right about now what's the fattest sandwich you've ever eaten
nate go now quiz go
the fattest fucking sandwich probably a subway joint
you're saying the fattest sandwich sandwich you've ever eaten was a subway
joint
you know you know what i used to do in college was we would get like the foot
long sauce but i would
get like i'd be like everything you got like in this row put it on jesus mate
everything you got that should be a that's my menu item man everything you got
in this i get my subway
sponsorship so tell me your subway sandwich order go now quiz bmt everything
pretty much bmt bacon
mozzarella tomato uh i don't remember i've had subway in a long time makes me
feel like
that's the best i think subway's uh underrated as the best road trip uh
restaurant yeah subway stop
it's delicious it's delicious
yeah i like subway no surprise what do you put on a jacket i know you're going
chicken teriyaki and
something else twisted no no no i'll do you know what it is it's half buffalo
chicken half uh cold cut
i didn't know that and you let me guess i already know eric ray hill dr tuna
no i've never had a tuna sandwich from subway i never have i always go wow you
haven't lived
turkey but actually more recently i just do veggie sandwiches with cheese what
the
fuck because the meat kind of grosses me out there that's crazy
how's the coffee tasting nate
amazing
someone what nate i think somebody exposed the meats somebody did like it uh
like the meats aren't or i think it was like crab or something like that it's
like
90 not crab you know something like that it's not right the subway crab is not
right real crab
it's imitation crab jack
fuck that shit that can't be possible that can't be possible subway is a multinational
global
corporation they can afford crab i think they can afford real 100 a wagyu crab
i can't imagine that
they have no reason to fake that
i wouldn't mind
26 is known as by what name in ireland go
december 26 boxing day december 26
saint steven's day so state steven's coming right after christmas on the tail
of saint nick
yeah yeah saint steven next he must have not done a lot of saintly good stuff
you know
wow what's his what's he's the return the saint of uh returning items
can we get christmas back uh um promptly what would you what would you do if i
was like guess what i had a wish
from a genie guess what next month is it's christmas again
so you didn't wish for a world peace or to end all wars i was on the spot i was
put on the spot
i was on the spot back to christmas three seconds christmas kill you christmas
again
for three seconds oh you have three seconds
i'll just i'm missing the fuck out of christmas i can't i can't put my finger
on it or why
i'm so miserable every christmas i want to end it all but i'm missing it
that's worth investigating i'm bloody missing enough to help you out right now
i'm just kind of worried
about you i think we should create the north pole and make the north pole like
year-round christmas
and put all the factories there um have an old guy have some you know i don't
know if we should have
i'm gonna move on but um no nate nate nate nate don't move on we already got
trash island see what
i'm saying why don't we take trash island and push it somewhere else spongebob
reference for those
who know but what i'm saying is yeah we push the trash up to the north pole it
freezes automatically
freezing you know what i'm saying now a we're trapping the germs so they're not
growing whatever
they're by the way growing right now in the pacific ocean wow so and then
second of all free free uh
free land isn't the earth like 78 percent water not for long yeah yeah yeah
yeah so we make a new
continent out of trash that's if we get mr beast yeah yeah mr beast could
definitely handle this
shit i turned 28 000 pounds of trash into an island
me and my best friend muhammad and salman oh true mr beast
jerry seinfeld let me see your fucking traps bro let me see your trapezius
muscles
all right i am the weakest quizzes yeah let's do some quizzes actually what we
got here
all right is your favorite the theme of this quiz is pink the color pink okay
in which popular work of fiction are pink flamingos used for the unusual
purpose of croquet mallets
see you get this one the wind of the willows alice and alice's crazy adventures
in wonderland
and of green gables or the adventures of pinocchio
oh we got options yeah
pinocchio
jack you want to take a stab this gotta be alice in wonderland yeah it is man
congratulations
i don't need nice man thanks man that'd be funny to say on who wants to be a
millionaire
to say oh i got options oh wow options interest now i got now it's getting
interested
i have options do you guys remember when the first guy won a million dollars
and he i think he cheated
didn't you have a earpiece in oh that was i don't think that was the first guy
was it it could have
been i don't know i just remember that being a a shocking cultural event oh i
was like yeah
well you know the swaggiest clip what the swaggiest clip where he's on the
million dollar question
and he says i'd like to actually use a landline to call my dad dad dad i'd
actually done a question
oh i just want to tell you i'm about to win a million dollars oh my god what's
this i mean that's like
you know what i'm saying what he's saying the the rizzler he's rizzed out
i'm not kidding jack you're glowing recently what's happened man i'm not
glowing i don't know if the
cameras uh making you think that for some reason but lately i've been i'm
getting weaker more out of
shape more concerning looking about a day you 