Name: Tim and Eric -- Red Lobster
Uploaded: 2013-05-21T02:11:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim and Eric -- Red Lobster' from Tim and Eric on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim and Eric -- Red Lobster' from Tim and Eric on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-05-21. Transcript available.

-
-Hey!
-Come on.
Let's hear it, everybody.
Come on now.
We like lobster.
-This is great.
-How many people out there love "Red Lobster" fans, huh?
-Hey!
-How many people just can't get enough "Red Lobster"?
-Oh!
-Can we cut the music now, please?
-Cut the music.
We're done with the "Red Lobster."
-Cut the fucking music.
-Cut the music.
-Cut the music.
Stop the music.
-Cut it!
-Stop the music!
-Cut it!
-Cut it!
-Come on!
Stop the fucking music.
-The fucking shit show.
-Turn the fucking music.
Turn the music off.
Well, thank you guys so much.
-Yes.
-So happy to be here, part of "Comedy Week."
What a great night it's been.
How much fun has this been, huh?
-It's totally awesome.
Thanks, guys.
-Now, I bet a lot of you guys--
Shut up.
Hold on a second.
Now, I bet a lot of you guys are wondering,
"What the hell?
Why are you guys so red?
Why are you holding lobsters?"
Well, as you guys probably know,
this week we celebrate 100 years of "Red Lobster."
It's been 100 years.
-Tim, I cannot believe how long it's been.
And you know, growing up,
every Friday I would go to "Red Lobster" with my family,
and on my birthday, my step pepper would turn to me and say,
"Son, why don't you upgrade to the surf and turf?"
-Oh!
-It was awesome!
-I knew this guy was a surf and turf freak.
I knew it from the moment I met him.
He loves surf and turf.
Well, Eric, you're going to be so excited to find out
that this week "Red Lobster" is introducing,
for the first time ever, they're calling it
"The Endless Summer All-You-Can-Eat Surf and Turf."
-How many people would love the sound of that, huh?
-Holy shit!
Endless Summer Surf and Turf,
just time for the real summer.
-Baha!
Baha!
Just in time for summer!
Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
-I didn't realize the timing was so perfect.
-Who writes this stuff?
Baha!
-Thank you so much.
-Baha!
-Well, Eric, that's true.
You know, we are very excited about this Endless Summer Surf and Turf.
-We really are.
You know, the good folks over at "Red Lobster"
are going to blow the roof off of what you and I think "Turf" really is.
-That's right.
Because, you know, we all get stuck in that paradigm
where we think that "Turf" means "steak."
You know?
I love steak.
No offense to steak.
-Tim's a beef boy!
Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
-If you're going to go off teleprompter, let me know.
-Baha!
Baha!
Baha!
-Oh!
-Bah!
-Well, no, but it's true, though.
They're going to stop the way you think about what "Turf" is.
-Absolutely.
-For example, if you don't want steak, you can get chicken.
You can get pork.
Hell, you can even get Chinese food.
-Hold on, Tim.
What if I'm in the mood for some succulent lob, but I also want some Italian
pizza pie?
-Well, it's whatever your heart desires, my old friend.
-Oh, my God.
Tim, my desire right now is to have an intimate table for two of some of this
endless summer
surf and turp by "Red Lobster" right now.
-Well, Eric, you're my friend, my partner in life, and I want to ask you to do
yourself
a little favor.
Why don't you close your eyes and make a wish.
-Oh, please let me have an endless summer surf and turp.
Please.
-Eric, mine will take a look.
-Oh!
This is great!
Let's eat!
Oh, thank you, Tim.
This is fantastic.
-Oh, and by the way, guys, we've got a very special treat for you guys, too.
Hit the music.
-Ladies and gentlemen, from the Black Eyed Peas, it's Fergie!
-It's Fergie.
-Yeah!
-
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-Oh, you're my friend.
-That's all I need.