Name: Tim's Kitchen Tips -- Episode 4
Uploaded: 2013-07-15T17:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim's Kitchen Tips -- Episode 4' from Tim and Eric on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-07-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim's Kitchen Tips -- Episode 4' from Tim and Eric on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-07-15. Transcript available.

Tis the gift to be simple, tis the gift to be free. Hi everybody, welcome to
Tim's Kitchen Tips.
I'm Tim Heidecker, back with another episode. And I'm going to teach you guys a
really exciting
new recipe for a very simple, simple sauce, simple dip. I absolutely love honey
mustard.
It's one of my favorite sauces, especially when it comes to chicken. I love
dipping chicken nuggets
in honey mustard. And sometimes if I get chicken nuggets with french fries, I'll
also dip the french
fries in the honey mustard. And it really does go so well with chicken. I wish
I had chicken here to
taste it with, but we don't have chicken today. All right, well, let's get into
it. It couldn't
be more simple. Basically, get some honey. This is just honey from bees.
Basically bees, bee pollen.
And I'm not exactly sure how honey is made from bees, but... And this honey isn't
as good
as... Got a weird... Not that... Got a weird... Doesn't taste right. So we got
a good amount
of honey in there, you can see. And let's add our Pissman's. I should really
buy the economy
size of the larger bottles of Pissman's. I don't even know if they make them,
but it'll
be... Because I go through a couple bottles every day. Mix that boy up. And
right away, you see,
it almost looks like such a beautiful image. It looks like some kind of a... I
can't think
a word for it. And this honey gets so sticky. You can feel it right now on my...
I can feel
it right on my fingers here. This is... And the mustard doesn't help. But um...
Oh, we actually
lost a little bit here. That's not what we want to see happen. So we'll just
create a lane,
get her back in. And sometimes if you want to get the bottom of the bowl mixed
with the top,
we'll just do a flip. And that's... Oh boy. And this is sticky. There really
isn't much
more to it than that. I like to add a little extra Pissman's right at the end.
And that just
kind of wakens up some of the flavors going on down there. All right. Well,
when we come back,
we're going to debut the honey mustard sauce, or should I say mustard and honey
sauce,
for my special guest. Be right back.
All right, guys. Well, the honey mustard was the name of the game today. And
again,
you can make this with two ingredients. Why would you go out and buy honey
mustard sauce
when you can make it with only two ingredients? Had a fun time making it too.
Time for the world premiere of the sauce. I'm going to let my friend come out
and try it. Eric Wareheim.
How are you? Not good. I'm sorry to hear that. Something in that fucking rotted
shrimp
where that cocktail sauce gave me allergic reaction. I was fully swollen for
Adam Blomquist's funeral.
All my best friends were there, my family. I had a whole speech prepared. I
couldn't say anything.
Okay. And I said, what? Oh, was this something important? No, I was eating some
fucking shrimp
on Tim's internet show. And this is looking good compared to what I had. You're
going to want to
go to an oral surgeon for something. Yeah, I know who to... Anyhow, um...
Like I said, that could have been the shrimp. Could have been a couple of
different things. Listen, it's not the point of if it was the rotted
ingredients or your fucking sauce. The point is that it fucked up the funeral
for me. And now I'm here again spending time with you.
I'm here. I'm hearing that. Yeah. I'm hearing that. And, uh...
You know what? This is the last show. I spoke to Josh.
I had a call with Whetstein about the whole sponsorship, the mustard thing that
I didn't sign
off on. The missing production meetings for our real shows. And this side
project, Josh, it's over. This is the last episode.
Okay. Well, uh...
So thanks to all the audience members for Nug69 for not supporting this piece
of shit show.
Fuck you, Josh. Fuck you, Tim.
Can I still do the show if he's not in? Why not? It's just a cooking show.
I should be able to do what... I should be able to do the show.
Fuck your sauce, man. The sauce fucking sucks anyways.
It's not... It's just honey mustard.
Yeah, but who wants to see a show about honey mustard?
I spent days coming here with you.
Dude, the fucking... Nick gave me a call time at 8 a.m.
We're shooting at, like, 5 p.m.? That's just fucking disrespectful, man.
For what? Honey and mustard for some fucking sponsor? That's why it's off.
Josh, fuck you. It's gone. Daniel Kelsen, fuck off.
All right, well, we're gonna try to rejigger this show. I've gotten a lot of
good feedback, so...
And fuck that piss mustard!
Take on it.
You come make me eat that bullshit every day.
I talked to Westing, he's like, "Oh, Tim said you were okay with the mustard
sponsorship."
Well, it's not...
That's why this show is over.
I'm not getting money for the mustard.
I'm just getting lots of mustard.
Tim's viewers, thank you so much for watching this bullshit internet show, but
it's fucking over.
So, fuck you, Josh.
Fuck you, Tim.
And fuck that piss mustard.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna have some honey mustard sauce.
If only we had chicken.
Sweet and...
Something's off.
Something is off.
All right, well, we'll see you next week.
Thanks for watching.
This is off.
Something's off with the mustard.
Rotten mustard.
It's the last time I used piss mints.
Let's get all this mayonnaise in here.
It's about a half a, uh, it's about a half a jar.
And depending on how much you want to make, you can obviously scale these, uh...