Name: Dr. Wareheim - Episode 1
Uploaded: 2013-12-03T17:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dr. Wareheim - Episode 1' from Tim and Eric on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dr. Wareheim - Episode 1' from Tim and Eric on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-03. Transcript available.

Mr. Heidecker, how are you today?
Hey, Dr. Wareham, good.
How long has it been since our last appointment?
I think it was here in March.
So what brings you in today?
I have this pain, very specific pain in my back, mostly when I'm seated.
Well, first thing we're going to do, we're going to drop the boxers and we'll
take a look.
We're going to start with a little rectal exam and see what's going on back
there.
I'll warm this up for you.
This might be a little cold upon entry.
Okay, I'm just going to go a little deeper here.
There you go.
Okay, hold that position.
You're going to have to get a better look.
Here we go.
One, two, three.
Here we go.
Let me take a look.
Inner prostate is fine.
Inner intestine seems fine.
Rectal walls seem intact.
Let me breathe out.
One, two, three.
Okay, everything looks pretty good.
Have a seat.
What I'm worried about is your sphincter is actually very tight.
So we're going to give you a little nitrous oxide.
Let the sphincter open up and do a couple lysine injections.
Okay.
Can't feel a little bit of a prick.
Ah.
Thank you.
All right, let's turn right ahead.
Turn off your CO2.
Go a little bit.
Do the same.
Take the nitrous on.
How are you feeling?
How's the back?
Ah, still sore.
Let me ask you, how many times do you masturbate a day?
Once at the most.
I'm going to need you to masturbate three times a day, preferably after meals.
And then I want you to ingest the semen.
Okay.
And it's important to get the full load.
Okay.
Okay?
Good seeing you, Mr. Heidecker.
Okay, thank you.
Mr. Heidecker?
Hi.
Nurse Brown?
Uh, the doctor would like you to take mefloquine 20 milligrams in the morning
and plaquenil 60 milligrams twice a day.
That's morning and evening.
He also wants you to masturbate three times a day after meals and ingest the semen.
And please make sure that you drink the full load.
Okay.
Can I get dressed?
Yes, you can get dressed and the prescriptions will be ready for you.
Thank you.