Name: Medieval Farts and Reverse Sneezing | Ep 11 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee
Uploaded: 2020-04-27T16:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Medieval Farts and Reverse Sneezing | Ep 11 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Medieval Farts and Reverse Sneezing | Ep 11 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-27. Transcript available.

Medieval Farts and Reverse Sneezing | Ep 11 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends mythological madness it's all in my
mind
mythological mythological madness of the supreme kind you know because it
rhymes and it's about
your mental mental disorders and stuff mythological madness yeah baby in my
mind
mythological madness all the time right now baby i grab a knife from the
kitchen and go to the
bedroom you're lying in bed you're snoring again i stab you in the neck then
you take some meth and
you boil some babies and then you smoke it outside yeah and your neighbor says
cut it out so you kill
him too yeah welcome to the show what have you been having crazy dreams oh my
god i've been so um for
the last 10 years um i haven't dreamt at all come on never no it's like my
sleeps were like almost
coma type sleeps where you wake up and you go coma sleep coma sleep or you go
what day is it what time
you know when you wake up i don't know what yeah i don't know what happened but
since the quarantine
and since i've been sober this time oh my lord oh la la how many hours a night
do you get oh shit
i get about nine or ten hours and i didn't go i didn't wake up until like
2 45 that's why i texted you and i said i was gonna be late i know well you
were late kalilah actually
texted me mythological madness here kalilah texted me this oh i just woke this
i woke up like this
kalilah just said uh here here you go he's she wrote here you go he's on his
way that's what she
said yeah so here we go there he goes
there he goes come back this way come back this way
eww
jesus christ did you hear that jules yeah your dog look at your dog listen your
dog growl i know
listen to this dog no that's not growing that's not growing okay thank you
thank you rudy what is that
rudy reverse sneezing reverse your dog reverse sneezes yeah we don't do it
normal
we do everything reverse this is a dog sneezing backwards yeah did you hear
that jules
what the fuck is that dude we have two dogs that do that what the fuck are you
talking about dogs do
that bro reverse sneezing yeah it's like when cats go like this cats do this
they go and then they
cough up some fucking ball of fucking cute balls oh my god no no you're googling
everything you fuck reverse
sneezing is very common and less so in cats so you're wrong about that when
pets reverse sneeze they
sneeze they typically stand extend their head and neck pull back their lips and
inhale repeatedly
forcefully through their nose a distinctive loud snorking sound
yeah yeah yeah this is your dog oh my god my fucking medieval fart did you hear
that jules
is not that interesting but the fucking reverse sneezing is i've never heard
reverse sneezing you've
never heard a fart like that my friend that's fucking from the medieval days my
friend let's hear it again
it's like the drummer boy boy farts there's like 15 drummers in there
it's like marching band yeah yeah look at my little smurf underwear look like
papa smurf with his underwear
you know what's so great about that i do that all the time at the house you do
i rewind stuff over and
over and over and she fucking hates when i do it your wife does yeah it makes
me laugh so hard when i find
something funny like that on a show or like anything yeah i have to watch it
again and again yeah i do i
watch uh american idol and the voice like that but my point is this do you ever
fart in bed
yes yeah yeah yes do you what do you do you squeeze your butt cheeks open so
that it comes out there
so there's no noise it depends if see i usually i fart in bed only if i know
that we're not gonna make
boop boop if we're not gonna make boom boom if we if it's not in the cards yeah
then i'll fart in
how do you know if it's in the cards or not you can feel it ah it's about the
scent you can feel it in
the air yeah yeah yeah uh by the way did you i got boom boom from our favorite
boom boom make a good
boom boom from our from my favorite characters from 90 day fiance did you tweet
at ed did you say so this
is what happened so ted yeah big ed big head ed mayo mayo head head mayo head
he was on instagram live
and i got on it and i go um first i kept saying 15 times acknowledge me
acknowledge me yeah yeah yeah
and he wouldn't do it right because he's like interview he's like doing um
instagram live with
just other people it hurt my feelings well you want it you wanted to do an ig
live with maybe yeah or at
least say hey what's up or whatever right so then i started going um hey man i'm
verified
you know what i mean i mean i had to throw up i have a blue check dude yeah
yeah so isn't that so funny
though when you send someone a message on there and they're verified and you
are too you automatically go
come on open it up yeah yeah well it's funny because it's like when somebody
ver do you ever
do this when like somebody verified follows you on twitter you follow them back
yeah all the time yeah
yeah yeah why is that it's so gross because it's like a club yeah you feel like
you're a part of a
thing yeah like you know who follows me but i ref and i'm a fan but am i
following louie
bukalski what's his name what the singer louie bukalski from england um lewis
capaldi yeah lewis
capaldi who is that he's one of the biggest singers on planet earth i don't
know yeah what does he sing
there he is wow he's huge a sharp looking cat yeah he's one of the best singers
what does he sing
what's that song that he sings you know the song sing it a little bit no just
give me a little bit
please don't even don't don't fully sing it just just give me the gist
no the lyrics the lyrics and you're not here to make it through it all
is this someone you loved is that the name i do like him a lot but yeah yeah
someone that's a
great song yeah is that the one yeah this is someone you love about me here
read the lyrics
there they're there for you bigger because my uncle i'm blind um it goes now
the day bleeds into night
fall and you're not here to get me through it all i'll let your go i let my
guard down and think you
pull the rug i was getting kind of used to being someone you loved oh yeah yeah
yeah yeah so he
follows me on twitter yeah i love him and he's a huge star and i don't know if
i follow him back
but um no you didn't it sounds like you didn't follow him yeah but but because
he's so big i didn't
want to like how many followers on does he have a lot of followers millions
yeah he's huge he's like
the next edge how do i not know this guy because i don't know i mean you only
like conor mcgregor
and like the the lucky charms guy what is that what this is music i like music
maybe you like only
redheaded vibe i only like redheaded stuff he's a redhead i would have liked
him oh yeah okay this
is what it should have gone like yeah i'm going under this time and i feel
nowhere to turn to nothing all
all the way of love ain't got me sleeping out you now i need somebody to know
somebody to heal somebody
to heal just know how it feels that's my kind of stuff wow you can sing kind of
huh creed that's my
kind of stuff you sing i can't sing i can i know how to you i'm a good um you
know like like monkey see
monkey do oh i see i know how to repeat what i've heard yeah i can imitate it
but i can't sing i can't do
impressions yeah you can no i can't yeah you can no i can do um do an
impression of oh that oh deniro
yeah deniro okay no don't talk don't talk don't talk just do the face that's
good now give me another
face of an impression of someone else you can oh they really um uh that's you
who is that yoko uno oh yoko yeah oh that's good pretty good huh hey can i ask
you something yeah
could you mind a lot of people hit us up on the internet and they asked us to
play and they asked
us to play a little bit of um of some of your psychedelic rock can we play some
of it no it's so
good you saw it i actually really like that song i'm not even kidding a little
bit it's
fucking awesome oh god 60 000 people watched the video you probably had like
nine hits before you
mentioned it and that's you yeah that's me look at how you by the way yeah you
look so you look so
cute in this video yeah and and what pissed me off about lax and superb yeah uh
the band and i don't
know if you're friends with these guys anymore but what pissed me off about
this music video yeah
they punched in on your hands yeah and not and they didn't show your face till
four four minutes
and 55 seconds in the video yeah because at the time i was just the seventh guy
it doesn't matter
you're important yeah but back then i wasn't you were ripping you ripped on
that rolling those keys
were getting slid on you i'm dead serious it was so fun all right and then and
then the lead singer
it's like it's just him him him yeah kevin schule from chicago what's up but
they show the band
from a huge wide shot and they don't get to you until jensen roof is in it alan
meadows what's up guys
it's all they gave you five seconds i know that's the only face shot you got
right i know i
know five seconds of a faith shot that's what they were so many people in that
band
and fade out from bob that's it i know i love i honestly though the song i
listened to over and
over and maybe it's because from that generation no but it reminded me of stuff
that i love let me
say this and i want to defend the band is is that i didn't say anything
negative about i'm just i'm
like i just want to defend it oh just just in case okay is um i'll honest the
music was okay you know
it's just um what what drove me crazy is is that see okay see that shot right
there yeah so see that
man to the right with the black see that guy to the right with the glasses and
this guy this guy that
the arrow's on right that guy no it's okay i forgot his name but so those other
three i went to high
school with i was gonna say this guy's balding in high school no this guy right
so we used to play
this um this coffee shop called metaphor cafe in escondido nice and he him and
his other friend
had like a simon and garfunkel duo band but they were so infinitely better but
they were in their 40s
they're just better musicians they were really good yeah and so kevin goes why
don't you join our
band so then we became like grateful dead that's how many people were on the
stage yeah at one point
i think you see a shot there's 37 people i know i know so then what happened
was i didn't want these
two old fuckers in the band why he just looked like a lawyer so and then um so
what happened was um
i just kind of stopped going to practice in like kind of rebelling in protest
against in protest because
you were like the old guys out or not yes i felt like if i just stopped kind of
getting
involved that they'll throw these guys out of the band but then i remember the
meeting
oh yeah they had like an intervention oh yeah they no they brought me to the
metaphor cafe
during the day and i remember sitting there and they all collectively goes you're
out of the band
and i literally i remember what and i remember tears just rolling off my face
because you thought
that your move was gonna you were playing a power move yeah i was doing a power
move backfired right
right right and then i remember this i go i don't know what i'm gonna do so
what i did was my friend
f scott collins was he a rough like a novelist sounds like a writer he lives in
phoenix he's a great
guy he's in many ways i owe comedy to him really yeah because f scott collins
was like this 50 year old
dude or 40 year old 50 year old dude bald-headed kind of military looking guy
that i met in aaa uh and
he goes hey uh i'm doing this acting actors workshop in pacific beach and i go
yeah i'm not an actor
and he goes i know but this guy named gary austin you know who gary austin i
don't
okay well i'm gonna tell you okay i don't like your tone oh god all right here
we go gary austin
yeah founded the groundlings oh yeah in the early 70s i didn't know that he got
kicked out of the
groundlings but he founde