Name: Get Out of This World! | Ep 18 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee
Uploaded: 2020-06-15T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Get Out of This World! | Ep 18 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Get Out of This World! | Ep 18 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-15. Transcript available.

Get Out of This World! | Ep 18 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends kalilah does it you do it you guys
talk to me
like i'm a child close the door put away your drinks clean up your mess you
know stop farting
wait i talk to you like you're a kid no you always do like you what you brought
that you
brought that cigarette in you bring it yeah there's a stomped out cigarette on
the carpet
i stomped out a cigarette outside and it's inside stuck to my shoe i happened
to walk in and now
ta-da so kalilah does it and i do it you guys everyone does that in my life and
i'm tired of
it i'm an old adult man who drags in cigarettes on his feet yeah but it was an
accident i know so
just go oh it was an accident i didn't know instead of just don't talk to me
like that first and go
what did i say i said did you drag did you did you did i go did you drag in the
cigarette boy did you
i know you didn't but there was like i filled in the blanks i said did you drag
in the cigarette is
this from outside what is this yeah
oh or or if i have to say you had done that if you had done that i would have
been like
oh he's just directing a cigarette i have to say it because i because i know i'll
clean it up and i
have to like clean it bitch see so i'm i am going to keep talking to you like
that because you talk
to me like that that's true you're fucking it comes from me i know that's true
all right bobby
bobby right away bobby didn't sleep good i slept for um maybe 3.2 hours man i
um
i got to bed around six in the morning you know what i've been watching a lot
of horror movies on
shutter what really yeah i saw this one called noroi oh fuck holy shit why are
you watching horror
movies late at night i don't know but i enjoy it especially asian ones oh shit
when when they go
like that you know when they get possessed they always asian horror
dude you know what i started watching last night that's so fucking good what
what we do in the
shadows oh yeah oh my god do you know about it yes yeah allison jones casted
that i got an
audition for it and i never went in it's so good do you know what that is on fx
the movie was great
yes this is nothing like this is basically um uh uh uh uh jemaine clement you
know jemaine from
uh flight of the concords and and takawa why can't i talk what takawa what takati
i can't say his last
name yeah they created this show together basically about like vampires that
live in mod in staten
island well it was the movie well first of all he has nothing to do with the
show anymore
taka yeah yes he does he executive produces it i know but he apparently he is
not
connected anymore yeah he directed didn't he like the first i don't know i had
read that he wasn't
and then also secondly he was in the movie the movie was great yes and then um
i never saw it
because i thought it wouldn't be good because he is not connected the show is
so good honestly the
acting is so fucking good the people are so funny the jokes are really tiny
well and i don't really
trust you anymore because i saw normal people and you love normal people hate
it you didn't like
normal people fucking boring you're an idiot boring how many how many episodes
did you watch i didn't see
any of it i never saw wink i'll never see it my friend because i'm a man oh
yeah yeah oh you're a big
man are you a big man i'm a little dick man you're a little tiny guy who
dragged in cigarette dust
yeah lewis capaldi followed me on instagram because of you good and i wrote him
a message
did you what'd you say lewis dot dot dot yeah no yeah because i i had a message
to him hey can you
do tiger bell he never replied yeah he just wants to be he wants to see us from
the outside
and that's fine i love the animals in a cage for him listen he is super
talented he is english he is a
great songwriter what an original voice and i enjoy joy joy joy enjoy him i
didn't sleep good last night
so what happened was last night i um i've been watching a lot of um shutter
movies like noroy and
i've been also watching i saw another one called um blood quantum okay and um
and i think it's getting
into my psyche because it's like it's do you think about killing people no but
i believe in um demon
possessions and stuff who do you think is possessed by a demon oh she's
definitely possessed by a demon
seriously she she's so rude this morning she goes uncle tito you look like napoleon
dynamite i'm like
what attack off the bat but i know what she's saying i know you're you're you're
an old man and
you're dressing like a child you do dress like a child in a it's fun i love it
stand up let people see
your um fanny pack and your short shorts you look good it is very childish it's
cute though i like it
you get to city go back to china that's what they say on the internet go back
to china no because i've
been watching a lot of videos on um i've been watching a lot of videos let's
see let's see your
favorite woman tamara harry and you love this girl this woman all right so i'm
oh i said she is hold on so
let me can i do a little um yeah give us some backstory a little pre-pre um i'm
really i love
entitled white people it's one of my obsessions in life that's why you started
a podcast with me yeah
yeah and um she is this um she's a lady from phoenix arizona where my parents
my mom lives
and rest in peace dad and she um your dad's dead
stop oh stop stop you started it you started it so um did you cremate your dad
i forgot he's in a
dust but yeah you did and because your brother has some yes what did you do
with yours it's in the
podcast room it's in the podcast room yeah i'm never coming there again oh what
you know also scary is at
nights when it's dark i have to run in and run out like there's a light in
there i have to run i get
so scared why don't you go put the ashes somewhere else because i like the box
you like
but once you put the box somewhere else i'm saying not in the podcast room like
in the ocean
sure or if no you like you like him in the box put him somewhere where you don't
have to see him
every time yeah maybe i'll do that yeah hide it yeah i'll put it in a cabinet
or something put it
in a top cabinet yeah i know i mean let me ask you this if there's a ghost he'll
if even if it's in
the house in the top cabinet he's gonna go he's gonna be able to figure out and
figure out how to
get out of the cabinet voodoo is your dad well yeah korean ghosts karengo say
voodoo yeah yeah oh wow
and he's gonna be able to you know yeah figure it out yeah he'll figure it out
so no matter where
he is in the house the only way i can get out of it well he'll be mad if you
put him in the top
cabinet by the good china baby why up here i'm afraid of heights you think i'm
scared take me down
watch the asian accents oh that's right yeah oh my god did you write your
apology letter yes i did okay
good i have it right now do you really have an apology letter i want to
apologize honestly did you
write one did you write one a long one okay so it's five pages long so um last
week can we get into it
a little bit sure all right so what's her name jen murphy jen murphy so we had
jen murphy on last week
and um you know it is what it is she came on and she defended herself she was
very cool she was actually
very nice i like talking to her and uh but a lot of fans said um what a hypocrite
andrew santino because
you do asian x's all the time and um and then we talked mulled it over we
talked on the phone and we
said maybe we should uh apologize to the fans yeah we really need to and i said
you should write a
fucking letter and so um will you read that letter to the fans sure okay but um
i have a little a note
for you before i read the letter yeah what is it so i told you to write the
letter but um my little note
for you is and i and i promise you this i'm gonna take my glasses off i promise
you this if you don't
do it the way i want you to do it yeah literally i will end this podcast and we
will never do it again
and i will walk away you promised me this okay okay so when you're reading the
letter
all right yeah i want i want you to do it in the asian accent
no yeah no i will walk away from this podcast you read the letter but you have
to do it i want to be
ninja yeah you have to do an ethnic asian accent you have to do it in a thick
asian accent
but as an asian american i'm as an asian american i'm offended okay that's fine
but i as an asian
american right because i think my voice counts yeah it does is that i i believe
that you are not a racist
i believe that you do asian accents for comedy purposes i believe that because
you're doing it
in front of me and i allow it to do it i want the only reason why i'm doing a
podcast with you
because you're free in that way yeah we're fun yeah yeah if you don't think
that if i'm hanging out
with don i did a netflix show with donnell rawlings yeah and with burke reicher
and burke goes we're
gonna do an exercise where we talk about our dead dads we like we we lay on our
backs yeah we do
scream therapy but we want to talk about our dads right and but then burke goes
donnell you channeled
bobby's dad right and the accent that came out of him right was so offensive
right and then mine
me channeling his dad super oh my god i could get canceled
and uh stop farting in the studio i'm begging you please do you smell it over
there come on okay um
question are you a scientist yes no are you a doctor yes well we have i have
gas you have air in your
body i have gas hold it in for the air it's gas okay it's putrid gas yeah and i
know putrid is the
word i don't want it yeah and you want it inside me yeah that's where it
belongs no it doesn't
that's why it comes out but that's for outside no so i have this putrid gas
inside me and it's like
if it could talk it's like all right i gotta get out of here you know and so i'm
like should i keep
this you know insidious putrid inside my body or do i release it into the let
it go free it's like
a genie in the bottle the genie don't want to be in there yeah i mean he does
want to be that's his
home oh but the genie comes you smell it from there yeah yeah uh-huh i'm gonna
do it again
don't right now don't don't fart please don't fart again i'll do it quiet no it's
not the noise that's
bothering me yeah i'll watch it'll be ninja talk about ninja ninja it'll be a
ninja fight i want to
be ninja in my fart okay okay so um explain tamra so tamra harrian is a um she's
married to bob harrian
and she's uh i guess she's a she works at bob harrian's law firm her husband's
law firm doesn't
she own the store isn't that the whole thing she doesn't own the store oh she
talked like she owned
it she doesn't own it ah but that's what i love what some white people do that
they pretend they own
shit well she did say get out of our store don't serve this guy i know i know
but i'm uh have you
ever seen skate videos where it's like you can't skate here yeah i own this but
they don't really own
it you can't skate at this building yeah i know it drives me crazy yeah so um a
latino woman i don't
know what the exchange was before yeah but basically tamra harrian um says
basically go back to your
country she says you don't belong here right let's play the clip let's see what
she says bob's been
obsessed with this oh i said she is and that's why she's leaving so you will
leave too this is going
on the internet you don't know who i am you told her you told her to go back to
her country where she's
from where were you born i was born america where are your ancestors from they're
not from this
country you're going back to me you better go back to where you're from you
just no you just walked
oh my god oh i could just on a loop watch that slap again yeah yeah she hits
her good yeah but then
all right so right there stop pause right there the pause right there that's
perfect yeah look at what
the white chick does huh she pulled down her blouse look at her titties out oh
i didn't even see tha