Name: Pumpkins, Andy's Pandy, and Bobocopia ft. Rick Glassman | Ep 35 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2020-10-12T16:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pumpkins, Andy's Pandy, and Bobocopia ft. Rick Glassman | Ep 35 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pumpkins, Andy's Pandy, and Bobocopia ft. Rick Glassman | Ep 35 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-12. Transcript available.

Pumpkins, Andy's Pandy, and Bobocopia ft. Rick Glassman | Ep 35 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an asian dude
you two are
disgusting well you two are something we're bad friends back on the chain gang
back on the back on the chain back on the chain gang i don't know any other
words i saw a picture
of you it was the happiest days of our lives whoa that's what a song huh and
now i'm stuck at home
because i got the bug i'm so sick i need a hug yeah testing one two three
testing welcome to another
episode testing um hi richard so happy to have you andrew good to be back i
love you what happened
with the mic you have two mics there uh i brought he brought his own mic i
brought mine which is like
irritating no it's good it's good no it's good thanks andrew yeah that's smart
thank you well
he did that when he came to tiger belly he brought his own earphones mike yeah
well i don't sprays yeah
i don't know if you've heard i have corona and i'm literally in the hot seat i
know but it doesn't
linger for like weeks yeah well tell that to the judge welcome back to bad
welcome welcome back to my
favorite family bad friends family you know we got we've got we've got jules in
the house
we've got a house she's playing her uh video game with her friends right online
you love it huh
what's the game called mobile legends we've got uh andrew are my beauty my one
of my bestest friends
andrew santino yeah fun cool fun cool forget about it and then we've got um rick
sherlock holmes what
are you wearing it uh it's a couple of things yeah uh first of all obviously is
this a crime scene
from the 1800s what the is going on here okay are you going to burn me and give
me a chance to reply
or do you have a list of jokes you want to get through i have no jokes i'm just
saying what the
you think you're moriarty all right all right uh this is coming out on columbus
day and i wanted
people to know that i wasn't making a joke uh when i if we ever get to explain
my perspective on
christopher columbus and i and what thanksgiving stands for so i just wanted to
make sure i didn't
make a joke of it and also it's october weekend suit uh-huh so andrew we made a
mistake do we make a
mistake or i i gotta tell you something yeah rick and i spoke before the
podcast he said i want to
dress up for the podcast i said that's a great idea he said i want to honor the
great christopher columbus
who well i want to honor all of us hold on let me finish who all of us myself
myself and rick
uh people like rick and i uh white uh american hard-working males we respect
and we love chris
and we think the way he acquired this country was just and uh and and that's it
andrew we are out of
time and i have to say and i have to say that i was the before the pandemic i
was in the pachanga
casino and i was hanging hanging out with my buddy littlefoot right and he
totally uh uh land before
time littlefoot how come he isn't where has he been for like the last 20 years
well you know they're
they're gonna make a remake one day he can't be in it he's he's not a little he's
bigfoot not what
who's littlefoot from land before time was there a little foot in land before
time oh yes there was
you don't know your own friend's credits maybe you should have him on
anywho um christopher columbus although be it you know discovered the country
they did some bad
things as well yeah and also he didn't discover the country that's like oh look
i discovered bad
friends we have the indigenous and here i am to say this is mine that's what chris
columbus did
and as much as i don't want to get you saintino wait a minute i'm not wait a
minute you're out of
time i don't like what he did yeah and what did he do he not only okay i'll
tell you what he did
he left spain okay he thank god yeah he was a shithole he came over here and
you remember the
thing that people say he didn't land on plymouth rock plymouth rock did
something landed on him
something like that yeah yeah that's because of what chris columbus rock was an
asteroid
we'll be right back after a word for marshall rug gallery i don't know
if you're looking for just the right flooring you need choices
and at marshall carpet one you'll certainly find them yeah we're back so anyway
um let's
let's talk i don't want to talk about history right yeah yeah right so i want
you i want to talk about
i want to talk about what we've been dealing with within our family for the
last couple of weeks
yeah which be it is um that one of our family members um um the red king right
got a little bit of
coco coven you got a little coven a little bit a little bit of coven do people
know how it happened
or no i do no but do people know have you talked about it uh yeah i talked
about it on my podcast
on whiskey ginger with dr drew in great detail i got it um watching football
outside having a couple of
beers and then we played tackle football with a bunch of people we meet on craigslist
every wednesday
night shirtless um why what do you mean that's andrew you there's covet is out
there now you don't know
what your friends are doing let alone what strangers on the internet are doing
so i put up i put up a
post on craigslist and i said if any buds want to meet up we're going to be at
pan pacific park are you
asking if people are tested i i'm only trying to test their integrity and their
athletic ability
i want them to show up and show off and i got to tell you it's shirtless it's
it's skins versus skins
and every time you score a touchdown you have to well you're supposed to lick
the sweat of another
opposing player so okay i don't know if that's how i got it or i got it from
sitting watching the game
outside but either way because i've been very mindful myself you know every i
don't know if you know this
but i have a charity once a week mud wrestling with the homeless i get it i get
it with the homeless
and um you know before the pandemic you know we used to get completely naked
get a vat of mud and we
would just go at it and now we're all we all wear condoms so yeah we all wear
condoms and we also wear
our face masks right but our bodies touch but you can't get us via that i get
the game right let me do
one yeah do one so he gets the game he has he has one i get it he has one go
ahead okay uh my my
girlfriend and i were each other uh and uh wait what is it what is it i don't
remember what it was
don't do one more of them oh yeah do one more andrew do one more keep it tight
um i got i got i got i got covid yeah yeah we're out of time i get it that's it
all right here i got
it i got it i got it i got it uh so my girlfriend betty uh lives in london and
when she traveled over
uh her arms are tired blah blah and uh she had to wear a mask yeah yeah you
could swear on this right
yeah yeah on her pussy or um oh i want to start the whole podcast over i do
like you bobby came in
not just judgmental but like yeah but bad i came in bad yeah and and andrew's
not wearing the suit i'm
hot i'm real hot i'm also i'm gonna have to get a dry clean so that means this
podcast
cost me minimum 25 i'm out of time and it was just the game was simple you know
i don't get it
you guys you guys are improvisers i do written jokes i came prepared i know
with a written monologue
because he did it i'll tell you how it works i'll just tell you how it works he
does a bit about
doing the football thing right and it's funny in my head i'm like oh i get what
he's doing
right maybe i'll add one a make-believe thing i don't really with a vat of mud
yeah yeah i don't really
you know wrestle yeah wrestling yeah yours wasn't really funny though i got
confused because andrew
told a story that i couldn't tell if it was real or not and it sounded like you
were just like oh
i'm bobby i'm a vat of mud i don't know i don't know start it over how i really
started over for
real i'm sorry all right let's start it over really you promise you will start
from the beginning yeah
no we're already going yeah no let's just start over for him we're already
rolling let's start over for
him we're bad friends stand over there i'm gonna introduce you all right all
right i know this game
i uh you don't know the game okay all right and we're not playing that game you
know we're done
with that portion of that we're done with that portion of the you freaking
freak of nature i'm
gonna tell you something right now i'm the one that goes maybe rick glassman
can do it and now i'm
regretting my decision okay and so what i'm saying to you right now is that you're
acting you're making a
fool out of yourself you're gonna call me a jew you're gonna call me a jew we're
bad friends back on the
chain gang i saw a picture of you all right rick glassman's uh our guest host
everybody ladies and
gentlemen he's wearing a suit we should do all the jokes that we did before
what are you sherlock holmes
i'm gonna be so much friendlier now i know when i'm unlikable and i've been so
unlikable i'm gonna
do better yeah andrew andrew how are you feeling though because you know i call
you periodically
and then you go oh man i'm tired or but it seems as though you're you're on the
road to recovery right
i feel pretty good yeah i feel i feel very good actually it's been two weeks
and uh i i feel much
better than i did before that's for sure it's been uh it's a it's a bummer it's
annoying it sucks
you are tired a lot but i but i fought through it i got the halloween
decorations hung up there are
gravestones in the front yard yeah there's skeletons poking out of the ground
yeah uh i put up lights
i washed both of the cars um i got into a fist fight with my neighbor jarlie
his name is jarlie with
a j j-a-r-l-i-e yeah i choked him out but i was wearing a mask while i did it
uh halloween
i was wearing i was wearing the hollow the halloween michael myers mask while i
did it sick um
but i'm feeling a little bit better boys i'm feeling a little bit better and i
miss good i miss my family
i miss my bad friend's family i miss you i miss jewels i cannot stand george
and i miss andres
yeah i can't stand george either does covet manifest itself into the eyebrows
because it
looks very thick today yeah no i i puffed them up for you i've been using this
eyebrow thickening spray
it costs 14.99 what's it look good what's it called is there a promo code it's
called thighbrows go to
thighbrow.com yeah you want your eyebrows as thick as your thighs go to thighbrow.com
get yourself some thighbrow spray 14.99 uh 24 ounce spray i love it thighbrows
yeah so i've been really
concerned about you andrew and this has been a really difficult you know couple
of weeks for
everybody it was hard to keep it a secret you know i'm a blabbermouth yes you
are big time you think
i told anybody uh yes i do who do you know that i told
be honest be honest with me who do you know that i told yeah who do you know
that i told
i i know and we'll discuss it off air i didn't tell anybody you piece of
shit i kicked in a fucking secret for two fucking weeks bro let me tell you
something yeah one person
yeah you i know you one person only one person yeah yeah who did you tell us go
ahead and tell
people because i know okay well i want to first i love this game right why don't
because uh why don't
you tell me who i told i think that's a better route no why don't you tell
everybody who you told all
right i told my mom i know you did yeah yeah because she called me yeah she
said i heard
you got up a covid yeah how are you peeing how are you peeing feeling she's
this she said oh yeah
she said how are you feeling i heard peeing peeing that's not even peeing it's
you saying feeling
yeah i mean i was asking i get it i get it yeah yeah it's because he's doing an
accent he made it
funny by putting you're not lactose intolerant are you i could tell by how much
you're milking all of
these questions that's milking all of these questions with bobby lee my name is
rick lassman and we'll
be right back after a word from marshall right you know what does always with
the snapping what is
this west side story you know what does