Name: No Tater Tots In Spain! | Ep 40 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2020-11-16T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'No Tater Tots In Spain! | Ep 40 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'No Tater Tots In Spain! | Ep 40 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-16. Transcript available.

No Tater Tots In Spain! | Ep 40 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends i have the iphone 13. it doesn't exist
i know
that's how cool i am okay i know a guy that has a time machine what's his name
salvador dalo
right he's a spain futurist oh yeah yeah yeah and he can time travel between
two different time
periods that's what time traveling is right right and um well last night i was
watching a movie
some indonesian movie i get a knock on my bedroom door exactly and i go bonjour
he goes hello
he's weird accent he's from the future and i go um what's up and he there was a
glow
like he's knocking but there's a glow too in the right and i could see that he's
glowing like
it wasn't the kind it was a pinkish orangish bright light so it's like my no it's
better okay it's more
prominent ah and he goes like waved it right and then i waved my hand like this
and it appeared in my
hand that's what the iphone 13 does wow yeah it transports can i tell you what
i did the other day
what i hit someone's car with my car that's not have anything to do with iphones
yes it is what
happened i hit the car and iphones fell out it was an apple car
it was yeah wow that's where i got the new one that's how you got it yeah you
hit an apple car
apple car yeah right i've seen those on the road they're all over the place
right you hit them as
hard as you can i saw it and i hit the gas because it's a run on iphone 12s it
run it runs on 10 and
11. oh it does oh i got that and they have 12 and 13 inside i got that and
normal people are walking
around with the with the 12 like it's cool the 13 is what we've got the cool
the new one that's not
even out yet yeah but you know it's like whenever these things come out you go
what is it what's the
real improvement here nothing they do one little thing i know we got a new
filter for you on the camera
it costs a thousand dollars it just isn't the same it isn't it used to be a
member before i said that
to i got into an argument with an apple employee and he was like just being
rude yeah and i was
like you know this place went to when that guy died apple was so much cooler
when you said that out
loud yeah yeah yeah when he died from that stupid cancer yeah cancer that's
what you said all right
no well yes cancer is stupid sure i said when that guy when steve jobs died
apple went kaput yeah it's
true how inventive was it back in the day oh so cool yeah and then at some
point when he died
they were like we'll put out a watch and you're like a what yeah or i hate when
they go this is the
new phone and then you're like what is it and then see the cover it extends or
like it wraps around
like the screens in the back too so what like who gives a yeah i don't care i
don't want to do this
no it's i want to look at the front keep it right here well you know what they
did now on the new
phone you don't get um you don't get a charger anymore yeah you get the cable
but you don't get
the the wall block yeah but the wall but the but the cable they give you is usbc
not usb not the old
one so the old little blocks that you have yeah gone i mean you could still use
them with the same
fire thing but so they don't they want you to buy their new usbc uh wall chargers
and no headphones
right they're they're bastards about that why no headphones i like the wire
headphones
i still like them yeah i like the wire ones but i also hate the fact that like
my ipad doesn't
charge on the mobile one does yours wait my ipad my my for this one my my ipad
doesn't charge on this
uh charger what seriously yeah is it the old wait well i don't know what the
fuck but it's like i gotta get two different ones my ipad my i got one and it
charges on this thing
this thing is the same now it is i think so i don't know i don't know because i
just put the wires are
i have there's an apple charger in every port in my house yeah and then the iphone
also makes you
feel like you have to lie to it all the time when you're driving yeah and it
says this phone won't
turn on unless because you're driving are you driving then you press and you
say i'm not driving
i'm not driving but i am driving you know what i mean so you have to lie to it
yeah i'm not driving
right meanwhile i'm playing candy crush the whole time the whole time when i'm
driving like this
why do you make me lie you know do you enable location services this is a real
big debate whether
or not do you let apple do you send data back to apple oh yeah i want to know i
want them to know
where i am they do good they know regardless if i'm lost if like for instance
let's say this okay
one day i just vanished from the face of the earth please okay no a lot of
people feel no no no no
that's fine no okay but and then it's like and all of a sudden i wake up i get
knocked
knocked unconscious and i'm in the desert where were you that night that had
happened do you remember
oh yeah i was at a raven ramona oh you're the raven ramona yeah yeah so there's
a city named
ramona by my what i lived i grew up in powe yeah the town north of us i think
it was or east is
was a town called i've never been there but i was in a raven ramona uh-huh
right and i'm you know
i have glow sticks right i have a lollipop in my hand right and there's only
three people there
and i'm doing it right i'm doing it i'm doing it and then i hear zap zap zap
zap right i hear
a bunch of zaps oh and all of a sudden i black out i open my eyes and i'm in a
desert mojave
desert mojave that's what i said right that's what you said yeah yeah that's
what i said so
you're in the mojave desert mojave desert right and who's around you no one and
i'm in a shack oh
you're in a shack but you're safe in the middle of no if there's no there's no
walls uh oh no walls
it's like it's a gazebo gazebo you're in a gazebo it's not yeah my bad which
can be nice depending on
who made them but there's also a bed right and i wake up a twin a single a
single bed yeah i wake
up and i'm completely naked okay and i have an eye my iphones on my chest just
perfectly in the cavern
of your chest cavern on my chest and you when you wake up in the desert in a
gazebo you make a certain
noise i don't know if you've ever been in that no what is it oh oh yeah like
calming really oh it's
if no okay it's bad it's more like oh i scared yeah yeah yeah scared so i'm you
know i mean i don't
know where i am oh i was in a fucking rave in ramona right right and then all
of a sudden um but
then all of a sudden you hear drones oh a car yeah yeah not drawing sorry yeah
not the noise sounded
like a drone to be fair well that's because it's from far oh the car far away
yeah because the drone
i i get what you're saying if there was a drone near me it would sound like
right yeah you wouldn't
hear a drone 10 miles away yeah you would you might you're right you're
absolutely correct yeah you're
right yeah but this is what a car sounds far far away yeah that's what it is
that's what yeah small
hum why don't you do the sound effects i will in my story okay here we go yeah
but you know what i
know what that is you know what i know what it is it's the apple car oh they're
on the way to rescue
you exactly and they show up and they go mr lee yeah thank you for turning on
your thank you for
turning your location services yeah yeah and then when i go it does work and
they put you in the car
and they go you bet yeah and i'm in the car with what apples yeah but 12s and
13s new apples
yeah wow do you have an iphone rudy yeah yeah she's an iphone 2
that's all they have you have to still crank it yeah no no it's an xr what's
that which 10 10 10 yeah
it's a 10 yeah extra regular yeah it's an extra regular phone the xr wait 10 is
it's x x10 right x is
10 yeah yeah roman numerals like it yeah yeah yeah she plays her mobile legends
on it she likes to get
on her instagram you know kid stuff did you ever okay this is a good question
for your generation did
you watch quibi do you know quibi is no that says everything you need to know
of why they went bankrupt
yeah do you know what they are i just did this that thing i did was a quibi
thing oh was yeah they
just they're just bankrupt right they're done so it's not going to come out the
thing i did
i mean it's over i mean they quibi is dissolved like it's going to be i mean i
don't i think that
the app is still running but i mean they're they're leveling bill burr bill burr
who's that
he's you should know it's like me not knowing who ben bong is
ben fong ben bong i call that's ken jung but we call him ben bong
that's like me not knowing ben bong ken jong's got more shows on television
than anybody i've ever
seen he's hosting a new show yeah but um so i want to talk about it i'll talk
about it in a second but
um no but i'm really concerned now because bill burr um produced it has a
sketch show on quibi
and then a bunch of us did the sketch show yeah so that's not going to come out
then maybe i mean
quibi is for to my understanding quibi is no more can we talk about you going
to zion or no i'm not going
to zion where are you going zion is in the movie the matrix correct uh zion the
national forest is
that where we're going oh i don't know how do you not know where you're going
you're going to go to
the desert zion is in the desert zion joshua tree joshua tree and zion aren't
the same thing are they
close no we're going to zion instead of joshua tree i just know we're going to
the desert see
this family wait wait when i said zion right when he just says i and you agreed
with him she
just she just said no no get your mic to the mouth yeah you agreed with him did
you understand what he
was saying i thought zion was in joshua tree yeah but zion is not so we're
going to joshua tree
right so we're not going to zion yeah why are you laughing this this poor girl
hasn't gotten any
sleep of days so you're going to zion or joshua tree where are you going joshua
tree i thought you
said zion george didn't you say zion um i said j tree he said what j tree jewish
tree no joshua tree
oh okay well josh could be a jew it's a jewish yeah yeah yeah i guess it could
be true yeah so
you're going to joshua tree which is in california zion is in utah two
different completely different
places a five-hour difference yeah i'm not going if i if i were going to utah i
would not be going
it's beautiful out there but sure it's beautiful with the lakes and all that
stuff but i'm not going
the utah lakes whatever yeah i'm not going to go no no so what are you going to
joshua tree for
ah wow well that's an interesting question it's there to connect with
spirituality and the natures
two things you don't do and i'm trying and i'm going to tell you something
right now there's a peaceful
um there's a peaceful feeling out there man there's a peace there's nothing
going on
wait a minute there you don't know are you guys staying in a glamping thing you're
doing like a
glamping hut yeah we we always stay in like a trailer house out there and there's
always um
um filipino games we play like chicki cha you know and um it's pretty much
chicki cha and then eating
uh what's chicki cha i don't even understand it but it's a game where you have
to get rid of all
your cards can you explain it i'm not really good at chicki cha bobby's good so
i don't know how to
explain it better i'm pretty good at it chicki cha i'm not going to go into the
details of a how a
complicated how do you know the fans don't want to know what chicki cha is okay
okay chicki cha is
this all right everyone by the way it inherently sounds like a racist card game
name what i mean
chicki cha get down in that hole chicki cha what are you guys playing chicki
cha yeah you're chasing
each other around the desert chicki cha look what i did i hung about 15 chicki
chas in that one tree
right you see the chicki cha came to town we gonna kick him out yeah but um
yeah it's it's a card game
and then what else do i do what i'm going to bring my is i'm going