Name: New Year, Same Bobby and Andrew | Ep 46 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2020-12-28T17:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New Year, Same Bobby and Andrew | Ep 46 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'New Year, Same Bobby and Andrew | Ep 46 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-28. Transcript available.

New Year, Same Bobby and Andrew | Ep 46 | Bad Friends

George. I got it.
You two are bad friends.
We're bad friends.
Happy New Year!
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 19.
We started? We're not starting yet.
I'll tell you why we're not starting yet.
Why not?
Because I almost didn't make it today because I got one of these zits right
underneath the nose.
Let me see.
Oh yeah, it looks good.
You know when it's right on the nose like this, it's the most painful one.
No, the ones that are on the nose, that's right next to the nose.
Yeah, okay, the ones on the nose. This is second though.
Can you tell me if this is a zit? Can I show you something?
Your face?
No, look at this.
Let me see.
I'm serious.
Yeah, where?
Can you see it?
No, that's not a zit, dude.
What, it's a spider bite?
No, you know what that looks like?
What?
You know how they have, they put the cups on the body to like extract?
Extract?
Yes.
That's what it looks like.
Does it?
Or a leech was there.
Well, what about me?
What about me?
Let me see.
What about me?
Let me see.
Right here.
Yeah, see, you know what?
Yeah, yeah.
That looks like a zit.
Yeah, yeah.
It's my asshole.
It's my asshole.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Happy New Year.
We're not going into that yet.
No, we're not going to say that.
DJ, New Year.
It's the remix for the New Year.
It's the Rudy girl.
Hey, thank you guys for dressing up, by the way.
Yeah, first of all.
You look good.
And Rudy said, I said, Rude, we're dressing up tonight.
And she said, what should I wear?
And I said, just something a little fancy because it's New Year's.
Yeah.
And she goes, okay, I will.
And then she wore second or third hand clothing.
Yeah, that's fifth hand clothing.
Way to go, Rudy.
Yeah, where'd you get that shirt?
I have so many shirts I gave you.
Yeah, but I like this.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
But wait a minute.
When I asked you if you dressed up and you said yes, why did you lie?
I dressed up.
You dressed?
You dressed?
Period.
Yeah, yeah, she dressed.
You dressed, period.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You didn't dress up.
That's you going to like a formal ball or something?
Can you imagine if you went to, at high school, they do like spring.
Have you done to a dance yet?
Yeah.
What did you go to?
Homecoming.
And did you wear that?
No.
What did you wear?
A sparkling dress.
How come you wouldn't wear that for here?
Yeah.
Because I thought it was too much.
You're not taking this job serious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And why do you look like Dora today?
Yeah, you do look like Dora.
Yeah, you're Dora-ish.
Let's go.
Let's go to the cave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
By the way, we have our own.
What is he called?
What's Andres's?
Dorian?
Yeah, Dorian.
Yeah.
Dorian.
Dorian, yeah.
Oh, we need to find all the enemies.
Count to 10.
You're Dora.
And you have the same tone.
You look just like her.
Our little Dora.
Thanks for dressing up, Rudy.
Did you see George and Andres dressed up?
They look good.
I like Andres suit.
I like your shirt.
Is that fitted?
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, that's nice.
Fitted.
Yeah, where'd you get it at?
It was fitted from a TV show that I did.
Oh, yeah.
You stole it?
I asked for it.
Did you take it?
I did.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't you take clothes every time you do a show?
I always ask.
I ask the wardrobe.
Yeah, I go wardrobe.
Hey, do I have to buy this?
No.
Sometimes they go, uh, yeah, I'll just give you like discount or but sometimes
they give
it to you.
I always make friends.
Always make friends with wardrobe.
Always.
Because by the way, they're usually cool ass chicks.
Yeah.
Who and then you become cool with them and then they know cool shit, know cool
people.
And then you go, can I take some stuff?
Yeah.
And they're like, yeah, I take some stuff.
I become friends with craft service.
Because you're fat.
No, that's not why you fucked hard.
It's they give me the good juice.
Oh, because they get the.
Oh, right, right, right.
They give me the right.
Sometimes it's like they give like the star number one and two, right?
Protein shakes.
Yeah.
That they blend in the back.
Yeah.
And then like, you know, I'm like 15th on the call sheet.
Yeah, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
So they go, go to the table and there's like two pretzels and a fucking piece
of licorice
on there.
That's why I have to be friends with the fucking.
And then they give me the protein.
Yeah, they go, we got you, Bubu.
Or they'll give me like energy drinks and whatnot.
But can I say something about, thank God 2020 is over.
2020 is over.
The worst, probably the worst year.
Yeah.
I mean, out of all the years that you've had.
2001, 9-11 happened.
That was a good year for me.
Pretty good year.
I like that year.
2008, the market crashed, housing market.
Didn't own a house then, so I was fine.
Yeah.
2020, kind of a bad year, but we started this podcast, so pretty good year.
Y2K was bad.
Y2K was bad.
Yeah.
But the computers never crashed.
Not only that, I got like 2,000 bottles of water still at my house from Y2K.
From Y2K?
Yeah, yeah.
Do you?
Yeah.
Do you have any resolutions?
Yeah.
I have a lot of resolutions.
Yeah?
What?
My resolution would be to not, does it have to be associated to you or just in
general?
Associated to me.
Okay.
I knew it was going to be about you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is to not get so mad at you so fast.
Yep.
Because I do that a lot.
Mm-hmm.
And to genuinely tell you more often that I really do appreciate you.
I appreciate you.
I love you.
And that I love you.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
I do.
I do.
No, dude.
Next year, I want to have more fights and more fun on this show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want to blow this thing up.
I have some things.
Nah.
I want to say it.
Rudy, what are your New Year's resolutions?
Associated with Tito Bobby.
Yeah, well, they must be because he's such a brat.
Yeah.
We can't get around it.
I need to know more punching.
No more punching.
No, me.
No, you more punching, yes, but no punching out of you.
You got to fight back.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
And that's all.
Good.
Really?
That's good.
Interesting.
All right, what are your resolutions?
Mine?
Andres.
With Tito Bobby, of course.
It's got to be about him.
He hates when I make fun of him, and he treats me badly afterwards, so I need
to be on his
good side.
That would treat you bad.
This resolution was brought to you by Babbel, the language learning experience.
That was very good.
Very good.
George, what are you, George, what is your, what's your resolution?
You goon, you weirdo creep.
By the way, George is having a baby in like seven months.
It's insane.
Gross.
I know.
Go ahead.
Just to communicate more with Bobby, I think I don't tell him three times about
things, and
that's my fault.
Ooh, condescending facetiousness.
I love that about George.
George, that's good.
Point for George.
What's your resolutions, Bob?
Well, one is to win more in the gulag.
Yeah, you got to win more in the gulag.
Yeah, yeah.
Because when you lose in the gulag, it's embarrassing.
I'm 50-50 right now.
Right.
Secondly is, you know, when you text me irrelevant things, irrelevant things,
irrelevant things,
childish things, can I say?
Like what?
Like, what do you think about this shirt?
Or, you know what I mean?
Hey, did you see this video?
Hee hee ha ha.
For me to read that and go, he's probably not as emotionally evolved
spiritually, you know, physically, yeah, but emotionally and spiritually, no.
And that to just be more mindful about where he's coming from, from a child
place, from a baby face place.
And so, I guess I am more childish than you.
I'm not really done.
Because you're 49 and you play video games for six hours a day.
But I do guess that that's more childish.
Yeah.
And you collect boogers.
And mine wasn't an attack on yours.
It is.
It's not.
It is.
I'm telling you what my fucking New Year's is.
This is New Year's resolution, so can you be nice today?
This is the new year.
All right.
Okay.
I'll be real.
You want me to be real?
You got what you wanted.
Joe Biden won.
Everything's working out.
All right.
All right.
You're right.
You're right.
The vaccine's out.
You're right.
You're right.
What more do you want?
Here we go.
You know, I'll tell you this.
I'll tell you this.
My girlfriend.
Partner.
My partner.
At this point, partner.
My partner.
And by the way, legally, you know, that's your wife.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And she met this girl named Andy Letterman.
Andy?
Andy Letterman.
I know.
We know who she is.
Okay.
And so, you know, they talked for the first time on the phone for five hours.
Mm-hmm.
And then last night they talked on the phone for four and a half hours.
Okay.
You think she's going to leave you for any?
No, that's not what it is.
Is that, and then I kind of questioned, I go, I've talked to my brother for
four hours
on the phone collectively my whole life.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
My discussions with my brother is this.
What's up?
Hey.
What are you doing?
Eating dinner.
Later.
Bye.
That's it.
Right.
If I asked more about it, he would think that I was on drugs again.
Or he'd think you care.
No.
But that's the thing.
That's what most people would think.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
So, since Kalilah, right, she does that with people, wants to get to know them
and connect
with them.
Yeah.
She cares about people.
And know about their history and whatnot, right?
She cares about people.
I.
Don't care about people.
No, I do.
Right.
But I want to put more investment into knowing somebody and to spending more
time.
with people on the phone and to explore their inner workings and whatnot, right?
Okay.
And their history and their desires and what, you know?
And so, I just want to, I want to join the human race.
Yeah.
So, this next, you know, and then the next year, I'll be 50.
Big time.
Big time.
Right.
It's almost over for me.
It's been.
Yeah.
It's downhill.
Been downhill.
You're halfway down the hill, kid.
I know.
And so, for me, it's like, you know, it's either put up or shut up.
And what are you going to do, you think?
What I'm going to do from now on is I'm going to call you.
You, Andrew.
Yeah.
And I express feelings.
But pure, like, really, I want to get to know you.
I dare you.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to call you.
I.
I'm going to call you and I go, ring, ring.
Dare you.
Hello?
Andy.
Andrew.
Hi, Bob.
What's up?
Hey, what's going on?
Hey, I don't know.
I was just kind of thinking about you and everything about you.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So, how, what was growing up like?
Wouldn't you rather do this on the podcast?
No, but that's the thing.
Because the stuff that we do here.
Yeah.
Is, it's all in show, right?
Because you and I, when we, I want people, I want to put.
Expose the show.
I want to expose the show a little bit.
Do it.
I come in here, him and I are grumpy.
Yeah.
Right?
We'll say like grumpy things to each other.
Like, what the fuck, dude?
You're late.
And I'll be like, dude, I told you fucking, there's traffic or whatever it
might be.
Right.
Then they'll turn on the cameras and we just go.
Yeah.
And afterwards, I grab my shit and I just bail.
As fast as you can.
As fast as I can.
Yeah.
Right?
So, we don't have, you know what I mean?
I hardly know you.
Yeah.
You know, let's be real.
But I know you.
Not that well, though.
I want to know you more.
I want to know the inner workings of you.
Well, you should ask more questions.
I am.
I want to know what makes you tick.
I've known you for a decade and you don't, do you never ask?
I know.
That's why I've known so many people for so long.
Yeah.
And I don't seem to give a shit.
That's a big problem.
It's a problem.
Big time.
Right?
It's a big problem.
Well, we're going to work it out today.
Yeah.
Do you want to call someone that you know for a long time that we haven't asked?
Let's get someone on the phone right now.
Who?
You name it.
I don't want to know right now.
We'll call someone right now.
No, you said you want to start today.
It's the new year.
We're starting today.
Who, who, who, though?
Let's call someone that you haven't really asked a lot of questions about that
you really
want to get to know.
Just call anybody and I'll do it.
I'll call.
Andy Dick.
Do you hav