Name: Bobby's Existential Crisis | Ep 48 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-01-18T17:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Existential Crisis | Ep 48 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Existential Crisis | Ep 48 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-18. Transcript available.

Bobby's Existential Crisis | Ep 48 | Bad Friends

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friends who are
these two idiots a white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting you two
are something we're
bad friends welcome back to the double black play jam i'm here with rudy and
bobby lee rudy rudy rudy
talk at all last episode yeah you know why because you brought in a dog and she
had to
control the dog who's whining the poor pup was whining and crying the whole
time i know we have um
the whole house right now is um dogs animal farm it's an animal farm it's
driving me crazy
are you barking barking barking barking barking how many are you fostering you
right now look very
mormon your hair very christian very religious me i don't like it i really yeah
your hair i don't
like it it looks too too you look so like you know knock knock knock yeah would
you like to hear about
jehovah can i tell you about jesus christ i don't like it can i tell you about
jesus tell me about
him he's the savior i know he is let me tell you what he did for you what you
know what can i say
something about that is no one's ever tried to save me well you're unsavable
why is that i've seen
i've been walked through malls people look at you and they go can't save that
guy there's no way to
save you you've got a i can't be saved no no i want to be try try they're not
gonna i want to be
saved i have a soul save me baby look you're saved you've already saved
yourself no but i i what you
went to rehab you already saved yourself no but i just and they can smell that
strangers look at me
like if i'm like one time i was in san antonio yeah and there was a man handing
out pamphlets and
and you know little pamphlets yeah you're right and i and i was walking by him
people were getting
pamphlets from him yeah with the lord jesus and i just took my hand out and he
didn't do nothing
yeah no pamphlet he was not gonna help with you why i don't know that's like
the guys in vegas the
mexican guys that hit the hooker cards you know yeah come on come on come on
come on come on i never
get them from them they don't they think i'm not or like star maps people oh
yeah star maps people they
never try to get me a map do you know how fun this would be if me and you
pretended to know star
map we should do a fake star maps when when when pandy's over yeah and take
people to houses that
aren't real can i say something why would i care where marlon brando lives dude
you're you you've
lived in southern california your whole life right but who gives a fuck where
marlon brando i'm
explaining you drive by his house and go oh there he is people live people take
cemetery what he said
why'd you say you fucking goon you fucking european goon shut your fucking
mouth what did he say the
cemetery i don't know the cemetery he's dead marlon brandon he's not dead
oh that's not he's not dead he's not dead yeah one of the greatest actors of
our generation
you know i found out what i was watching coming to america tonight the part two
part one oh no the
original oh but it some of the jokes are so bad you're like some of this is not
funny it's so funny
because some of it's really funny yeah and some of it's just not funny sexual
chocolate's funny
hilarious sexual chocolate but then when they go looking for girls at the
beginning oh yeah it's not
funny it's not funny you're just like and because the one girl's like lighting
her hand on fire and
she's like uh you know i'm possessed by the devil yeah and they're like next
and you're like what it's
it was some of it's not some of it when eddie's doing the characters it's the
best the whole movie
should have been him interacting with himself all the time right like every
stranger should have been
an eddie murphy character it's also funny that movie there's one guy that didn't
have a very big
scene and at the time he didn't know that he'd be a bigger star than all of
them
arsenio hall no no who samuel jackson i isn't that's crazy isn't that crazy
yeah that is crazy
because he played the crack addict in the crackhead yeah at the mcdonald's or
something mcdowell's
mcdowell's right yeah he goes crazy right yes and he probably at the time right
god damn i got
fucking again 12 lines again again yeah right and then all of a sudden like he
owns the world
well it's the same thing with uh that chris rock in in that movie um oh that
was great when he put
the crack addict yeah why can't i think of the movie what movie was that he was
pretty good in that
when he goes uh got changed for 100 yeah that was really good yeah his lips
were all i remember
watching it it's like all ashy and white yeah and cracked out yeah because the
guy goes uh how much
for how just how much for just one rehab yeah yeah yeah and he goes got changed
for 100 and he's
like get up out of my school you grew up watching black films huh yeah yeah
yeah oh anyway no i was
gonna say i was watching i was watching watching the movie and james earl jones
you know who plays
his father yeah king kufi kanan whatever his name is yeah i was like is he
still alive and i bet
my old lady cash do you think he's still alive or not yes or no oh he's still
alive well you're
taking we're i'm not gonna say i'm not gonna tell you until everybody answers
it what they think
so what what part is it again i wasn't listening what i wasn't listening is james
earl jones we made
a bet if james earl jones was still alive james earl jones is alive so you you
think so or you know
so to me he is okay do you think he's still alive or he's dead she doesn't know
who he is i know
that's the best part uh-huh um he's dead okay great what do you think george
dad what do you think
andres he's alive he is alive i know he's alive andres get off your phone he's
do you know why do you
know why i know he's alive because you just worked with him recently no that's
not what yes i would
never work with him really yeah you would never work with james earl jones they
would never put
me in anything with him and that's the right way to say it that's what i want i
wanted to say yeah
you said it came out weird it came out weird you said i would never i'm such a
huge james earl jones
you know what else the movie he was in that no no one's not even aware of he's
the voice of lion king
he's the voice of the father and i understand that he's also dark vader yes
yeah of course everybody
knows that here's another thing that he was that people don't know what he was
in the movie um
dr strangelove as what he was in the um airplane in the beginning of the movie
like he was one of
like the pilots you know he's one of the guys in the pilot yeah he was yeah he's
yeah here's another
thing i have to try another thing that um people don't know huh go ahead keep
talking people don't
realize that laura's fish lauren's finish burn yeah was in apocalypse now no i
think people i think
people do know that okay i think people do know that james earl jones yeah dr
strangelove wow well
it came up so fast oh right well no don't go right all of a sudden out of
nowhere right i said he was
the i said the pilot look at this look at this guy is that rick glassman a
better rick glassman yeah
here we go hold on music we probably can't huh one of the funniest movies ever
made i think
dr strangelove yeah i laughed so hard in this movie look at how bad that plane
uh cgi is
he'll come up in a second which one is he he's not the white guy obviously you
fuck what do you
mean he's not white i'm i'm flying one line you put there he is there he is
there he is that was it
that was him so now he was a pilot i said he was one of the pilots that's how
little he is in the
movie yeah and i still watching it you know went there's james earl jones he's
so talented he's
everything he and yes of course i watch black films did you watch all the black
films when you
imagine what he sounds like when he comes when you're making love when he comes
oh yeah what if
when he comes he goes yeah he gets real high oh yeah dark side dark side yeah
welcome to the dark side
you think he says that i don't know when he shoots anyway look i watched i
watched curl coming to
america yoda coming would be weird what did what would he say i don't i don't
know you will be i don't
know what he would say but came i just yeah but he came i just yeah but i think
um his his calm would
be like a little piece of seaweed would come out if i feel like i feel like a
little him comes out of
his penis what do you mean like a little another a little baby yoda yeah like a
little yoda comes
out like more liquid form yeah it's more goopy yeah right almost bodiless but
you could see the
little you know boneless boneless yeah oh boneless my boneless yoda my bad you're
boneless yeah it's late
and i i sometimes don't know what i'm saying do you like boneless wings or do
you like uh
bone-in wings when you eat chicken wings yeah i don't i don't like the bone the
reason why i don't
like bone is because um i don't eat i don't eat it right and kalilah and this
fucking piece of shit
right here hey hey be nice it's a new year what'd i get you for christmas the
came um the rug anime rug
yeah we heard the rug yeah i got your rug anyway um whenever i eat bone the
bone right bone wings
wings with bone well anything with bone like a boxing bone bone bone ribs the
bones
kalilah's cup yeah you're you're you're white privilege the way you eat that
what does that
even mean because i don't eat like the cartilage and you know i mean you eat
like a white guy's part of
the bone part you know i mean crunch on the fucking i'm on your ligament i don't
need to eat that it's
like i'm not a savage meat parts you fucking animal yeah you animal savage yeah
you're not you know
it's like when we eat fish with my mom she eats she eats the brain and the eyes
and why yeah i just eat
the body like the body yeah but they do say the other stuff has the most
protein and nutrients in it
thick good call dude you know so you eat all of it don't you yeah savage savage
savage yeah they eat
um and it's like this animal right here i because every night i order um postmates
yeah i know and
sometimes i go to play good places or sometimes grubhub
all the time grubhub yeah yeah wait no what is it it was a joke guys so what
you know you order food
every night right so i'll go to like um i'll go you know what tonight i'll go
to morton's something
like that is that how often you get morton's every other week maybe you like
steak cold it's not that
it's just the idea that i can money wise i just do yeah yeah yeah it flex a
little yeah on who on
kalilah and rudy oh you know yeah does she ever pay for delivery no but i'll
always go what do you
want she goes i she goes don't worry about it i'll eat my own you'll eat your
own what and i'll go
what do you eat leftovers we have leftover food like something like we'll get
like two months ago
some vietnamese guy will randomly come over he's not vietnamese who's this guy
we're right get this
guy that's kalilah's friend he's white he's white you think he's vietnamese
yeah he'll come over and
go hey here you go and give us this is a restaurant by my house i bought you
food and i'll take two
bites just to be courteous right yeah and then i'll just put it in the fridge
and then she'll eat it
two months later like an animal not two months how long two weeks two weeks is
fine i think it's
two weeks dude i think food in the fridge can last a couple of weeks what kind
of meat
it's cooked right yeah it's like no not two weeks what kind of food is it a day
or two what f