Name: The Boys Are Back! | Ep 70 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-06-21T16:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Boys Are Back! | Ep 70 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Boys Are Back! | Ep 70 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-21. Transcript available.

The Boys Are Back! | Ep 70 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends what's up brad you good good to
see you pal
what a good time it's great what's up pal can't wait for this how's my little
boy oh man that's
great man how's my little boy can't wait for this man rudy it's like a reunion
look at your hair
wow it's a real reunion man rudy she's uh selena what is this you think you're
selena
welcome back tito bobby you wrote this oh look at who spent time on this i did
this is a 10 second
fucking job here mm-hmm she just did this my boyfriend's back and i'm gonna get
in trouble
hey now i'll be honest with you my bobo's back it's weird to be back it's weird
to be back and i missed
him so much and i missed his asian okay okay what's up you guys what's up man
so how's how was the fat
one was he good the numbers were good yeah we were like we're slacking on our
people but it's so nice
that the fat one you know i mean filled in i'm glad that you're back it's good
to be here how do you
feel you know what i should not call him that you already did i know i know i
already did and let's
erase that part okay here's the deal okay yeah that i i i'm not used to being
back so i'm gonna have to
do some editing and you know i'm gonna have to put it through a filter in my
brain like self-censorship
yeah yeah so you know i mean let's start from the top how was eric was he good
how was eric was he good eric who griffins he did this show yeah i thought he i
i was looking at
this not that i remember oh yeah he was great yeah yeah we had some good
filling guests and wait a
minute rudy jules what's up with your hair what's up with your hair girl you
know i'm proud of about
her with her hair yeah she was just basically like yesterday like i'm gonna go
get my hat done
and i'm like oh do you need she said i got it so she she's self-efficient wow
she she makes
appointments on her own she's independent she tells her i want to do the billy
eilish with the streaks
you know oh you want to be billy yeah yeah yeah she does her nails i want to do
the billy eilish i'm not
doing anything with my nails that's what she's been doing since i've been back
it's her raising of her
voice and i frustrate her by the way did you write that welcome back tito bobby
you wrote that give me
that let me see that yeah yeah that's insane yeah i mean analyze it this is do
you want to talk about
minimal effort oh my god nothing what dude i i sign autographs better than 100
yeah you're going to
college yeah you have terrible handwriting yeah yeah welcome back oh my god you
spelled welcome wrong
look at her face no i'm kidding no it looks good yeah i like your hair i like
this uh the it's called
ombre right yeah i'm learning and i got a shag what's a shag like the two bobby's
you mean like a mullet
no you didn't see what i got going what what let me see bo oh bro bro bro am i
from blade runner or
what bro i'm from the future right undercut bro yeah skate or die are you a
poser no i'm like a cyborg
i'm a you know what i'm like a cyborg what are those like repo men can i say
something to you and
don't take this the wrong way that thins you out i know that's what she said
last yesterday you look
thinner with that that's what everyone said yes well you should shave the other
side and see how
thin you get there you go bud what do you think you look good thanks man hungry
treated you well huh
let's talk about hungry
i can't believe you got into a fist fight with kate blanchett that's crazy
fucking fist fight kate blanchett bobby called me and she i didn't get a fist
fight with her she came
to his room she came up to his room and she was like it's me it's kate blanchett
and um bobby said
oh what's up and he opens the door and she goes they delivered my chicken
strips to your room
and bobby had already eaten all the chicken strips and she's like you fat
and they got into a fist fight and you punched kate blanchett can i tell you
my relationship with kate blanchett yeah what is it okay i'll just give you an
example so please
the second the last day i was there yeah i i went to the restaurant that was in
the hotel
and kate was there with gina gershon they were having breakfast right okay and
they both look
at me and they go what's up bobby and i walked by so fast and with my phone and
my i had no one
was not i wasn't talking to anybody why did you do that because i i get so
nervous around kate
i got around them right i go hey good morning right and i'm really just this
weird guy at the morning
yeah yeah let's get the morning right and i just like run past yeah and then i'll
eventually come
back because then i'll sit there and i'll go we should have done that now they're
nothing that
you're a meth addict yeah yeah weird right yeah sorry guys just woke up i
needed to get my coffee
you know i mean that i'm like a weird guy dude well but but you told me you
also interacted with them
you went out to dinner you went you went in the beginning okay so in the
beginning or in the
beginning i'm like i literally went when i was fly i'll just tell people what i'm
in
yeah you don't know yeah you can say i can say it now well were you not allowed
to at some point
no but i never really talked about it yeah but you made it seem like you were
not supposed to
no i could i just didn't want to talk about because i didn't know what it was
and i don't know how
it was gonna go all right so tell everybody what you're doing all right so i i
don't like your stuff
in my teeth no great you should spit out this gum so there's this video game
called rudy how have
you been i really want to know i'm good i feel like your energy is so good
today you know also your
energy is good okay so um i um shout out to my boy pete downstairs pp big
pete big pete i'm not gonna talk about it shut up go ahead all right are you
gonna do that one of
those comedy bits again it's a comedy show i know but there's a pretty good
chance i'm gonna do it
again all right but now i'm gonna be apprehensive but i'll try yeah and then do
your bit again here's
what we always do yeah you know i'm gonna do the bit again i know but now it's
like i'm anticipating
the bit yeah so i don't want to really fully get into the fucking don't don't
anticipate it all
right here we go yeah go ahead so um there's a video game called what's up andreas
no i did it before you i did it before you i'm gonna do it before you you did
it for you
yeah stop bumping the table you're gonna knock my head down and so there's a
video game called um
borderlands and um they made a movie about it and um where'd you get your shirt
no no i really like that
shirt no where'd you get it she's worn that a thousand times i wasn't gonna do
it because i'm
gonna do it before you okay all right so um you know like you and i we audition
for things and we
never get things i don't audition for anything we can talk about that later
okay but there was a time
bobby called me by the way he booked another thing bobby's going away to do
another job so he just did a
job sold a show to abc did a bunch of magnum pis uh just did a huge movie is
just booked another job
you were a job machine you know who's calling my phone nobody nobody can i just
get into my my life
yeah and what's going on with me yeah and then we'll go into your satellite
afterwards dude i'm on a show
it's uh it's great davy's great it's cruising it's a great one you've never
seen i love davy though
you've never seen it once yeah what's his name the weasel what's his name what's
his name baby
there he has like a nickname uh yeah the weasel yeah the weasel yeah paulie
shore i don't know
but he's great though what's up davy yeah he's a funny guy so there so then you
know i auditioned
and i presented the tape and then i got it and you helped i did yeah you helped
a little bit because
you know one of the producers who's very kind and i became friends with her as
well i was gonna say
you guys got along oh really real well yeah and so um yeah emmy's great yeah
one of the nicest
people the best so it's got like all these big stars in it like cape blanchett
jamie lee curtis
kevin hart jack black all these people right um edgar ramirez it's just the
list
my good friend janina now who's now one of my best friends anyway um and what
bobby lee i'm in it
robert e lee makes it in the movie okay watch watch watch me right now i'm
looking at you watch me right
now watch my hands okay yeah do you see that that's your role in the movie that's
how fast i am in the
movie oh you'll never see me again is it just like so when you're watching the
movie that's all and then
i'm gone what give me a line that you said in the movie uh what's up roland
i swear to god you just killed it i i go good when i see kevin's heart card i i'm
in a bar and i go
ah roland what's up that's one of my life kevin hart's name is roland in the
movie yeah yeah
so when i'm flying over there i'm like come on man he he's a character from the
game
don't do your head turn there's a black guy in the game borderlands the name roland
google google
if there's ever been a black guy named roland in borderland in life in the game
games are fake all right has there ever been a black guy named roland
black famous famous roland's bring it up
roland orzabal roland young roland emmerich roland barthers roland james oh roland
james is black
there we go what was roland james an american oh god oh my god no one yeah yeah
yeah he made the car
what did roland james do who is he he's can i just go back into the
fucking thing oh an american uh professional football player can i go back into
the fucking thing man let me
get my bed out please oh my bad i forgot how it works i miss you my excuse okay
so yeah his name
is roland in the movie so anyway that was my life so when i was flying over
there i was like okay this
is going to be one of those like really lonely experiences because you know i
only function well
with like comics at my level you know i mean and i have my group you know i
have you yeah i've got um
a couple of guys you know i mean they're no longer with us i could say that
people that died yep uh
we've got um i think you know i guess guys like madrigal bill burr i mean they're
just a yes big
group of you know chelsea handler whitney coming that's pretty much the the
that's your group the
group right so in my head i'm like i don't know any of these people it's like i'm
not i you know
i'm a comic so i'm just going to be spending on the next month and a half by
myself because
everybody there is a real and i say real actor you're an actor but those are no
these are real
award-winning actors right who i'm a huge fan of all of them right yeah have
you ever been nominated
for an award i've never even been to an award show well no i'll never go to a
workshop well that's
because they don't right they don't want me there that would be weird i've
never even done bro i've
never where would they put you i've never even done a talk show no ever not
couch you've never done
couch no ever me neither yes you have i've seen you no i've done stand up no i've
never done you do a
bit with on the jimmy fell yeah okay yeah that's not it it was you james corden
but it was it doesn't
matter you did it though right because it was with jim carrey it wasn't good it
doesn't matter you're on a
fucking show with jim carrey on a fucking talk show on a tanakh show yeah and
that's huge it was
no but yeah it was for jim and they're called talk shows by the way tanakh
shows they're called
talk shows welcome back to the tanakh show tonight my guest is bobby lee yeah
yeah so let's do it right
now ready here we go we're back yeah thank you to the band rudy jewels what's
going on you good
i'm good yeah awesome my guest tonight ladies and gentlemen you're gonna love
this guy this guy's
incredible you've seen this guy by the way uh by the way the way i would do it
we're live i know we're
on air i know but that's what i