Name: Fancy B. vs George | Ep 77 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-08-09T16:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fancy B. vs George | Ep 77 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fancy B. vs George | Ep 77 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-09. Transcript available.

Fancy B. vs George | Ep 77 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends speaking of money who just got
back from new york
you didn't you fancy yeah i did yeah new york the city of dreams but it's like
the big peach
you fly in statue of liberty you stay in your hotel room then you get five o'clock
in the
morning call time and you go you work 16 hours then you fly get what kind of
flight and fly back
i'm working on impressions you want to hear one yeah i want to anyway guess who
it is
okay let's hear i'm gonna close my eyes i'm not gonna look at you there's no
such thing
there's no such thing as political murder political bombings and political
violence
there's only criminal murder criminal bombings and criminal violence gavin newsom
current governor
of california gavin newson no no who is that it's a woman caitlin jenner
potential governor of california
it's political criminal bombings there's no stink it's a current it's someone
no dead oh he's dead
oh dude she's dead do it again there's no such there's no such thing as
political murder
political bombings or political violence oh hillary clinton no that's not hillary
clinton dead i said
hillary's alive she's alive yeah yeah she just looks dead yeah yeah she looks
dead yeah yeah
margaret thatcher oh is that margaret thatcher yeah that's in a british accent
that's how she talks though no she was british yeah but she talks like that let
me hear it one
more time what's so funny yeah guys i don't think that's funny at all that's me
you know how i know
this huh because i watched four seasons in a week of the crown the crown baby
yeah i know i could tell
that you watch the crown that's where that comes why because that's where that
came from that what you saw
that show yeah i watched the crown yeah yeah i love the crown not only do i
love the crown
i want to be the crown you want to be in the crown no i want to be a i want to
be a prince oh you don't
mean in the show you mean in real life like in real life i want to be a prince
and live in a royal family
and the whole thing but i would do my own things can you imagine if a princess
kissed the frog and then
he turned into you and how upset you'd be and she probably kissed me to get
back to the frog
oh holy shit she's like no no no no yeah yeah no because i would love to um you
could be a could
he be a prince oh that face yeah i don't like that face why don't think you
could be a he couldn't be
a prince like right now yeah right now we're right now he's got prince hair he
definitely has prince
hair i have prince hair i would like i would probably be born the last you were
the last prince no no like
if i if my dad mom was the queen i would be the last kid so it's like there
would be five kids ahead
of me so i would never be you'll never be king yeah so then i would just be
like around that's
a really good idea by the way that's a great idea for a movie is the last i
would spray paint like
little symbols on like vases and stuff around the castle well like swastikas
what kind of
i would probably do like a chinese face oh on the cat oh right right right two
line chinese eyes
thing and a big smile what dynasty would you be a part of royal england but but
what do you mean
but you're not that's what's great about it well because it's like oh somebody
a mystery oh right
someone slept around with somebody somebody did something someone from the name
somebody did
something and and now it's like i'm in all the tabloids because they they maybe
in the beginning
they think asian prince born to the royal family no he's white but he looks asian
no you're they're
unmistakably asian no no i look white no i know i look asian but i'm white sir
sir you do not look
white no but can i just say this yeah what if like queen elizabeth had me right
if she had me at like
50. they would be like she cheated with an asian with an asian right and be
right before i was born
right she she's old she tumbled down the stairs and just rolled on her belly a
bunch of times just
listen right right and then all of a sudden like um a butler came didn't see
the queen there and he
tripped on her an asian whoa there's no asian involved in anything that's my
point is that you're
not yeah yeah but i'm just telling you why i came out and then like she and
then all of a sudden i'm
about to get the ball i'm about to get a ball i'm about to get a boy i'm about
to get bored let me
finish all right okay you're about to get a born and they go we got to do it
now let's do it outside
they take the queen out they're in buckingham palace or in a courtyard right go
to the fountain
right yeah the fountain the baby comes out and like the sun is so bright you
know i go and it made my
eyes like this right and it just stuck like this it singes your face yeah like
this and then i'm
like the one that looks asian but i'm really a windsor you're really truly a
win i'm truly 100
a windsor do you buy that why not he's asian yeah you're asian yeah you're so
asian look that's what
they could tell the tablets but the truth would be the queen slept around with
somebody but we would
never reveal the truth how funny would it be though yeah if they're like we we
don't really know who
we'll never be able to know who and that's all we're saying and the press walks
away and cut to one
of the vendors selling like little british flags and it's just one asian one so
little old asian
man or that's kind of funny or i'm like you know how like you go to different
rooms and there's
different photos and i'm wandering around and i'm just you know maybe i'm 16.
yeah i see it and my
older brother my older brother charles is already you know i mean no better
name no charles is a guy
already no but prince charles i'm a part of the windsor family so prince charles
is my older brother
the next generation you're like the new generation oh you're saying that i'm
william's baby correct
you're william and kate's baby oh i'm william and kate's baby yes you got to be
the new generation
right yeah so william and kate had a baby right it looks asian they blamed it
on the sun and i'm walking
around right the castle just moping mad god everyone calls me asian but i'm not
i'm a windsor right
and i go to this one room there's a bunch of photographs yeah right yeah and i
see my mom kate
right yeah beautiful beautiful and she's like in a pool splashing around with
ken jong
right yeah and then everything just kind of right and i'm like the guy from the
hangovers baby
that's your dad yeah that's your papa right and now you're on a journey to go
find your dad
right i don't want it to be ken jong and the movie can be played by ken jong
but the real guy
is um all right fine he's a pool party hirohito's right emperor hirohito's
grandson grandson right
right great great great grandson yeah toshi toshi and he's jacked toshi hirohito
he's jacked out
of his mind like right right so then this is what happens and you have to go on
a journey to find
to you know there's also this is what happens there's a scene in the movie yeah
where i go to the
bathroom and i take off my shirt and i do a thing what like because he's jack
right he's so strong so i
go and i do a thing and i do this and a couple i'm 16 a couple little muscles
right that's my dad
that's your because i can see a little pet your little abs where you squeeze
really hard and then
abs come out yeah like right and i'm like this and i'm like that's my dad just
a little fart comes
out as the abs are formed why why because that's the comedy part of you you're
gonna you're gonna
flex me like that's my destiny and the scene goes oh and what am i right and
the muscles go down they
go down right as you fart it's just fart it's fart bubble fart air in my skin
it's not even it's not
even muscle it's right right and we cut to you on an airplane going to go see
your father yeah but do i
is there a scene where i go to kate no you forget about them she's a princess
so i go to she's the
yeah she's not queen yet because it goes charles is going to be king and then
he has to die they're
both dead at this point they're totally both dead oh so william is king 100 she's
she's princess she's
not a queen well yeah i don't know how that works it works that way i think
like queen elizabeth's
um husband is prince philip right okay wait wait wait he just died who gets to
be remember that guy
yeah and they drove him home yeah yeah for the last 20 years he was dead
look at this left the hospital feeling good that's that one the middle photo
that the one in the car
where is oh we'll go to the far right yeah the one in the car look at this one
feeling good feeling good
feeling he's not dead there he's dead they're dead there he's got to be dead
there because his eyes
are stitched open they put in stuff to be like hold it yeah hold it hold it
yeah do you think he
looks numbers just you know what they gave him they just put smelling salts
like we did under his nose
just for the picture so you can get him home my god he lived forever 99 he was
99 99 years old he was
there's another there's another one where they try to really doctor him up
there do you see him in the
suit with the blue tie yeah i mean oh my god it's like zoom in please yeah big
that up yeah you know
what they did they photoshopped his eyes and just put it on the emperor's eyes
in star wars
you know what i mean that's what it looks like we don't need cgi just use
prince phillips eyes
apparently if you're a part of a royal family yeah that has hundreds of years
of incestual mating
you live long because they're all they all live a long time yeah but he how
come when there's how
how come when there's an incestual mating like in the south it's really sad and
some some reason
in england it's because i don't they don't do they don't do brother and sister
right they do cousins
yeah they did right so it's like right the ones in the south go you know i mean
just
their brother or their mom or whatever never mind it's always brother i think
it's brothers or sisters
or it's never mom i don't think it's ever the mom i don't think the mom is ever
probably sometimes
no if anything it's the dad yeah i don't want to talk about it yeah it's gross
it's gross anyway well
that's what the royal family so this is what so you came from that's my grandpa
that's my great
grandfather great great great grandfather right wait that's my great yeah great
great not my
grandpa my great grandfather your great grandpa yeah yeah so look at that rudy
that's your great
grandpa and we have there's a scene maybe we shoot this in oh this is he's
already dead but maybe in
the movie he's comebacks to life no a ghost oh and he haunts you yeah no and
every time i see him he
wants to say something like encouraging but whenever i see him because he looks
like that i just run yeah
freak out right so he's got all the advice and you just can't yeah you know get
the
out of there because i would scare the out of me but so i go to japan and i
find toshi yeah yeah but
guess what what what happens toshi doesn't want anything to do with you so you
say well i'll fight you to
the death what you'll fight him to the death he goes because he says he's like
you're not to my son
and you're like i am your son yeah look and you show him the muscle thing right
he sees it yeah and then he's like you're not to my son no or he could go back
on he could go like
this he can go you're not after i go right yeah he can go you're not my son see
and he does it do an
accent when you're gonna if you're gonna do the journey you're not on my son
you're not on my son
yeah see and he does it and what if he does a fart comes out for him that's the
connection i told you
dad i told you they're not muscles they're fart bubbles those are front bubbles
on your skin you
fucking bastard this feels like a a short story from like roll doll or
something like that out of where
the sidewalk anyway i love the crown it's good it's