Name: Bobby’s Stinky Little Secret | Ep 82 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-09-13T16:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby’s Stinky Little Secret | Ep 82 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby’s Stinky Little Secret | Ep 82 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-13. Transcript available.

Bobby’s Stinky Little Secret | Ep 82 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an asian dude
you two are
disgusting you two are something we're bad friends bobby lee ladies and
gentlemen before we start
look at this a good uh um i forgot it was in my travel bag but there was a man
who came to the
show in denver comedy works shout you out he was a he was a little frantic
because he was drunk
he was wasted and he was like i just i love bad friends and i can i give you
something for rudy
and so he gave me this to give to you do you know who this is that's from my
hero academia academia
is my favorite too my hysterectomy what is that academia nut my hysterectomy
macadamia nut
yeah yeah what is his power um he's like the strongest he spreads new he
spreads new he spreads
new variants he doesn't save that strong new variants of covet yeah cr124 come
from him
yeah he also looks like he like he mixes fentanyl in a in a lab right this is
the fentanyl king
yeah fentanyl king snort it um uh this guy's great what is his name midoriya oh
midori sour
good drink all right i don't want to throw this to you because i don't want it
to break but
i do want you to open it up so i can see it say thank you to the fan that gave
that look in your
camera and thank that man wikipedia thank you to the drunk man yeah wikipedia
says right what do
they say the first 10 minutes of up is a montage yeah you wrote that on wikipedia
yeah i don't even
know how you wrote that no i don't even know how to do that you wrote that on wikipedia
how do i know
george do you believe that i know how to do that um that is the only saving
grace you have sir that i
do you know that i have no like skills or tech wizardry to even do that you
paid someone to do that
no that's how it go that's how it goes you snaky little shark
i bought i last night i was coming home late i bought a box of captain crunch
peanut butter
yuck bro good so good i haven't had that in years bro and sliced up the roof of
my mouth i was
bleeding while i was brushing my teeth it was worth it um what's the cinnamon
what's the cinnamon toast
crunch that thing fucks up the bottom of my yeah it slices up your mouth it's
up my mouth love it
um but i'm a big the wheat thins guy you like the wheat thins i like the thick
cubes with the frosting
on one oh no that's frosted mini wheats what's that called frosted mini wheat i
love frosty mini
wheats man they're my favorite i like those because the milk soaks in the
fucking thing i know yeah when
it gets when they get soggy and they get heavy and fat yeah they get like fat
and heavy yeah like
they get they got diabetes that they're gonna give you and then you pick it up
out of the milk and
it's falling over your spoon i love that yeah it reminds me because i have to
shave my pubes because
all the juice when i'm making love absorbs into my pubes like that right so
then like a day later
like i could squeeze the pubes and and i can get a little bit of juice out you
don't just do that in
the shower you don't just shower it out nah how thick is your jungle real good
no but i shaved it already
i shave it at the spa yeah which so what i do is i'll at the what yeah you
shave at the spa they
have razors in there and yeah at the korean spa i get the razors but the korean
men they hate it
why because i sit in because there's two types there's the shower and then
there's a japanese kind
of shower where you're sitting down on a plastic chair a little plastic chair
everybody shares the
same plastic chair no there's six chairs around this kind of thing right where
it's a sit down
washing bath right right and i i'll i'll put you know um shaving cream on my
pubes yeah and i just
start like shaving and then the korean men always walk by me and they go are
you good you know they'll
say something what is that what's the word oh you're this son of a bitch you
know me dirty korea yeah yeah
hey we got invited to somebody's wedding who
courtney and james that's the loving couple right there let me see courtney and
james hold on it's
saturday october 30th 4 p.m uh in kentucky there's no way what do you guys
think do you want to go
i'm free she's free should we do wouldn't that be fun if us to just fly her out
there just her just
me yeah yeah yeah so funny can andres come can andres come i don't know because
to be honest with
you he hasn't been here in let's see do you don't know them imagine no no no
dude they're fan they sent
it to us uh they sent it to the bad friends crew and they invited the whole
crew to the wedding i think i
wonder what would that be like if we showed up to that wedding yeah i mean we
would run it it would
not be about it would it certainly wouldn't be her special day it'd be our day
well you know what
now we have to go that's james courtney and james yeah i think we'll go courtney
and james we're
going to be sending rudy jewels to your wedding rudy jewels is going to go to kentucky
yeah yeah
what are you going to give them as a gift rudy a rice cooker appropriate
that make sense why why not people love rice yeah but to them it's going to be
like you just
probably found it around your house but what do you think they think she is she
shows up and they're
like the mexican girl gave us a rice cooker yeah that's definitely they'll go
high not a tortilla
you don't want to give us a tortilla maker i guarantee you if we put her in
they probably think it's
like an armadillo without the scales they just ripped off the scales and then
rudy showed up rudy if
we did that hurt your feelings no no okay make fun of me now go come on no i
can't no just shame me
right now i want you to learn because i want you to survive in the world yeah
go ahead you gotta
you gotta shame me i shamed you i called you an armadillo without scales
um you don't have eyebrows oh burn oh i'm not gonna be able to sleep for a week
all right we'll take
that okay so use the idea that you know he doesn't have eyebrows just okay but
make up something about
that like use that for the joke that's not the joke but use that you i don't
know how to make a joke
all right all right we're like we're teaching you right now right okay your
eyebrows are you know
what your eyebrows look like they look like what what's mean that looks thin
and and and and
almost not you know aside from that right why don't you try something where
just i know that you're
a nice person but say something that you think is gonna really hurt my feelings
yeah right and i think
that's where you should go me too right so say something that's you think that's
really gonna
hurt my feelings but i'm okay with it to just try go ahead i can't yes you can
what would hurt my
feelings go ahead you look like yep an old there we go fat there we go i love
it uh warmer getting warmer
that's good old fat stupid it's hurting it's working warmer
wait wait stop stop stop stop
first of all first of all she went that is she took an angle that's not what i
meant but that's what i
meant i know that's what you meant but that was great okay that was i look like
an old fat stupid
you know if somebody said that at a roast right yeah i would be mad but it'd
have to be that slow
it'd have to be that slow yeah right you say it outright it's just not that
good it's the balance
of everything that she did that's really amazing now um i want people to listen
at home right she was
forced to say that yeah yeah yeah and you know she was cornered yeah we like an
animal we bullied her
and we bullied her to say that yeah yeah she didn't have a choice and it hurt
it did but i'm proud of
you proud of you did that feel bad saying it yeah yeah it did oh it didn't feel
good a little bit just
a little bit no really it's mean oh that's true it is but it's fun i know why
is that fun because mean
stuff is fun yeah it's because it's all in good fun you don't really mean it
yeah i was at you know i i
forget that like when you're around comedians you can say certain things but i
made the mistake one
time of making fun of a guy that was in line at so i was opening for carlos mencia
at the ice house
and the guy was in line and and he i i literally thought he was making a face
right so he's standing
in line like this like that right and i walked up to him and went hey like get
to him and he goes
and it was oh it's his face it was his face and i went oh what do you say to
that nothing i just
walked out yeah keep going yeah you got to keep going he's still a fan he's
listening to us right now he's
like i love you anyway yeah tell tell everybody what you said to somebody's son
at the comedy store
how do you know about that you told me i want you walked into the green room of
the main room oh yeah
so um i feel so bad about it it was very funny to me it's not me and tom me and
tom papa were laughing
i know so um i'm standing there with uh shane gillis yeah and tim dylan and we're
in the parking lot
and sherry shepherd if you don't know sherry shepherd she was on the view very
funny very funny lady i've
known her for 25 years we've always been friends yeah and she has her son so
she comes up to me goes and
she is wearing her mask so she has to say out loud hey it's sherry shepherd
because it's like i mean i
would already known who she was it's either her or you know right so i give sherry
a hug we have our
masks on right and her son's wearing a mask and he's a shorter black guy and i
go young he's like he's
14 years old yeah he's a young boy so i go what's up kevin hart right and he he
does this
he like tenses up he tenses up like this and then sherry immediately goes well
he's 14 he hasn't been
in a club before you know he's just she's trying to like you know i mean and
they kind of walk away
and i look at tim i'm blushing oh yeah and look at tim and shana go and they're
like wrong thing to say
man yeah yeah wrong and i i till this day i don't i don't feel like that that's
a bad thing
you just what you just said was hey short black guy that's true that's what i
said yeah but i thought i
honestly thought right that you know because when you see a comic yeah you see
someone like
fahim anwar is perfect so femi fahim anwar will always be around guys i've
never seen before but
you just make this assumption that they're either writers comics or a comedian
yeah it's
10 30 on a school night yeah so in your head you're like he should be in bed so
you're just crossing
off these things in your head really quickly right that can't be that that can't
be that it's got to
be a it's got to be a comedian right or her boyfriend i don't know i don't know
what her
situation what in the mask i couldn't tell he kind of looked 14. okay so i
threw it out there and um
it reminded me of the fucking thing i did at the lake face no the river at in
budapest where i was
with cheyenne and those guys i told you that story on this podcast what i never
told you that story i
don't think so well the first day i was there just real quick i was there i get
a letter from jamie lee
saying tomorrow meet me at noon so i don't know anybody so we're having lunch
and jamie lee i'm
with this guy named cheyenne jackson and pen teller pen jillette yeah and they're
and mary and
jamie lee curtis goes we're gonna go by the river i want to show you something
so we go to the river
do you know the story y'all want to see a dead body yeah yeah so we go to the
river and along the side of
the river there's these little bronze shoes and they're like kind of cemented
into the the side
and there's probably 60 of them pairs and back in during the holocaust
hitler and his gang his boys his boys yeah they just lined up jews on the side
of the river and
they threw them over the river right yeah which is really sad yes and um then
jamie lee and cheyenne
and a bunch of people are around these pair of shoes that were like a little
boy's pair of shoes
and cheyenne goes oh my god because he has a son that's young yeah and he goes
um a little boy
yeah and then i go as loud as i can it could have been a midget
and then the group they